Security Alarm Thwarts Paper Retrieval

Last night I was told that due to an attempted break-in of my sister's car and that car's alarm going of in the middle of the previous night, that the security alarm of this house had been armed and no doors were to be opened until it was dis-armed.

So.

When I was told not to open a door I figured that would not happen because I was no longer opening the front door to get the morning paper because I made too much noise walking across the floor to get to the door that is directly above the downstairs sleeping zone. My solution had been to read the paper a day late.

But, I got up this morning the latest of any day I've been here. Past 6. I knew my sister is off today and likely sleeping in. I went downstairs, made coffee, then thought since my sister was sleeping in late maybe I could read the paper.

So, to prevent making any noise I tried a new technique. I laid on the wood floor and slithered over to the front door like a snake, thus displacing my weight over a large surface area. This seemed to work. No squeaks. No loud pops.

After a couple minutes of slithering I made it to the front door. I stood up and super slowly and quietly unlocked the door.

And then opened it.

All hell broke loose. First a high-pitched screaming noise, followed by a machine gun rat-a-tat-tat boom boom noise, then more high-pitched screaming. Then me in a panic, almost fainting.

Kristin came up the stairs and turned off the alarm about the same time the police arrived.

My sister came up the stairs about 10 minutes later and said something about wanting DNA testing done to prove I'm actually related to her.

So, with 7 days to go before I return to Texas, my daily Washington humiliations continue.