Thursday, August 21, 2008

Toxic People Populate Tacoma

I don't know what put me in mind of this book I read years ago. Toxic People. One of the best books I ever read. Helped me understand all sorts of things that perplexed me. Transactional Analysis was another good one that's stayed with me. I dealt with some Contaminated Parental Ego States during my month in Washington. That's Transactional Analysis speak.

Almost every human on the planet has at least one Toxic Person they have to deal with. It's how you deal with them that presents the challenge. For me, it's the buffer. As in a good deal of geographic distance between myself and toxic people in my life. Buffers are great. I had a real fun discussion about buffers on the flight into Dallas with another appreciator of the buffer.

As a Public Service I'm gonna paste some How To Deal With Toxic People info from a Toxic People website below.

Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. The toxic person is a family member, friend, associate, workmate, boss, etc. Toxic people come in all shapes and forms as they know no boundaries.

The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.

Realize that toxic people can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing. Rely on your instincts, they never lie. Train yourself to move away from what hurts you and move towards what feels good. This is one of the smartest life skills you can learn, and also one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself.

Toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, financially irresponsible, selfish, and abusive. They can be criminally minded, mentally ill, or just plain evil. Toxic people are also the ones that abuse alcohol or drugs and then hurt other people. The toxic individual exudes the dark side of human nature all of the time. They cause other people pain, craziness, and aggravation. They are not hard to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these people. It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel sick and experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going crazy, but don't worry that is the true mark of being with a toxic person. Remember this so that you will be better able to identify a toxic person. That is the first step towards eliminating one from your life.

Know that when a person is toxic it is because of their own issues. Sometimes these issues can consist of mental illness. Accept that a toxic persons behavior has nothing to do with you. In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions. Toxic people do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel bad, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault. Remember that when dealing with a toxic person, they are responsible for their own actions, but often do not. Realize this and you take back your power.

When dealing with toxic people remember that exercise is your best friend. Exercise relieves both mental and physical tensions. It helps the body to produce healing chemicals that will repair your body and help you think more clearly. Exercise also encourages the release of endorphins, chemicals that relieve pain and help you to feel good both mentally and physically.

Most importantly develop supportive relationships with your life partner, friends, family, workmates, and associates. There is strength in numbers. Talking things over with the people in your life who love and care for you, can help you to overcome the negativity of toxic people. Just as animals and children instinctively can sense when someone is good or evil, the people who love you are very good at recognizing when someone is toxic and hurting you. Loved ones are a good defense against toxic people because they can offer you good advice and support for eliminating negative influences in your life.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like you and L**** really got into it this time. Maybe this happens on a regular basis? L**** is toxic. But you already know that. Yet there is something that keeps your friendship going. Got to remember takes two to toxic tango.

Durango said...

I love to tango.

LuluRedstar/Lauri Evans said...

Durango, I want to thank you for this post. I want to get this book and read it. It just makes so much sense. I had a person like this in my life for 20 years and last year finally cut the ties and it has been like a weight has been lifted. And thank you for commenting on our blog. We love your insight to everything, especially Texas and feel so special that we found you. Keep up the good work. Lauri @ chippys