ABC's The Bachelorette 4 Gag Me Fest

Go here for this morning's blogging about last night's Bachelorette final episode.

I know I said I would not watch this train wreck anymore. But last night I was tired, my head hurt, my back ached, I was in a bad mood. I needed some mindless nonsense to appall and possibly entertain me with its appallingness. The Bachelorette fits that bill.

Last night, the Husband Hunter, DeeAnna, was down to 3 guys, all with 'J' names. As in Jeremy, Jason and Jesse.

The premise of last night's episode was the Husband Hunter was to go on a supposedly romantic date with each of the guys, somewhere in the Bahamas. After dinner she hands the guy a card telling him if he wants to they can spend the night as a couple in something called the Romantic Fantasy Suite. I think that's fancy speak for brothel, but I'm not sure.

Stay in the Fantasy Suite? As a couple? As in sleep together? And that is what it appeared happened. I don't remember the order of the assignations. But one of the guys, either Jeremy or Jason, was laying on the bed, smooching DeeAnna. He then gets up and shuts the door, blocking out the camera man. How romantic. To me the implication was that DeeAnna must have helped herself to a full sampling of her 3 suitors husbandly wares.

One of the guys seems real strange, like there's something wrong with him. His name is Jeremy. In Survivor Sucks someone had this to say about Jeremy, "Jeremy is a sociopath and he scares me." He seemed robotic to me.

The third potential husband, Jesse, is a short guy, with long greasy hair. He snowboards for a living. DeeAnna asked him what he wants to do when he's done snowboarding. Jesse said he wants to teach snowboarding.

Much of this show seems obviously scripted. Each of the guy's talk to the camera about how their feelings for the Husband Hunter are growing deeper, how they must find the words to let her know their feelings are growing deeper. And then we see each of them tell her their feelings are growing deeper, or some variation thereof. And DeeAnna is terribly pleased to learn of the growing affection. Soon after that they get their invites to the Fantasy Suite for a night of whoopee.

Jeremy seemed to be the one who most ardently, in his robotic way, expressed how his feelings had grown into something he'd never known before. Likely because of that being a sociopath without normal human emotions thing.

So, Jeremy, the guy who expressed his growing love the best, got the boot. I'm guessing that poor ol' Jeremy did not meet the Husband Hunter DeeAnna's performance standards in the Fantasy Suite part of the auditions. This show should be on HBO and include what goes on in the Fantasy Suite. That'd surely be compelling television.

So, it's down to Jason with a kid and Jesse with a snowboard. Jason seems a bit odd. Strangely manic. Jesse seems real young.

Here's another gem from a Survivor Suckster, "I watched this all at once, and think I would have loathed the girl from the beginning. She's got a hard face, is pear shaped, has huge thighs and a misshapen butt, and has--based on the really sad "Bachelors Tell All" show--a fairly severe personality disorder."

Sucksters can be so rude. But I sort of agree. That and she has this very annoying way of talking, where she slides her head back and forth like she's got a rubber neck. I only made it part way through the "Bachelors Tell All" hour that followed the hour where she slept with her 3 potential husbands during the course of a week in the Bahamas.

I guess I'm just a prude. But I really don't think I'd wanna have myself on national tv, searching for a mate, and being a bit of a skanky type in the process. That just seems sorta not the mate you wanna bring home type thing.