We have been in Arizona since Monday, but only last night did Miss Daisy learn of our arrival.
Mom called in mid afternoon, yesterday. I did not answer. A few hours later I called mom and told her we'd made it to Arizona. Mom asked where we were in Arizona. I said I was not sure, but we might not make it to Sun Lakes for a few hours. I told mom I'd told Big Ed that I was sure there would be ice cream. Mom confirmed one of her freezers had lots of ice cream.
About the time mom confirmed the ice cream supply she said a car had driven into her driveway, and that she thought it was my sister. I told mom I'd hang up so she could go open her door. Mom said no, hang on. Mom then opened the door to see me standing there with the phone. A few seconds later mom realized she'd been tricked. And that my sister was not there.
About a half hour later I found myself deep into the first incident of driving Miss Daisy. To Wendy's to get something called Four for Four. After a lot of confusion at the drive-thru I drove away with three bags of Four for Four.
Trust me on this. You do not want to have yourself a Wendy's Four for Four. I do not know why mom has developed this unseemly affection for fast food of the Wendy's Four for Four type.
And then today I had my second driving Miss Daisy experience. This time with Sister Jackie, Big Ed and Spencer Jack and Hank Frank's Grandpa Jake along. Prior to leaving mom's abode Big Ed and I put together mom's new chair transport device.
The destination today was Maricopa. First to the Ak-Chin Casino were I once again won big whilst not having a clue what I was doing. The casino experience started with my brother insisting Big Ed and I get something called something like a Player's Card, because this would give you some sort of great deal.
I got us parked on level five of the casino parking garage, then got out Miss Daisy's new wheels to elevate to the ground floor. Eventually we made it to the location where one gets their Player's Card. I handed the Player's Card purveyor my driver's license. A couple minutes later she said I could not get a new card because I already had one.
Huh? I have never ever had any sort of casino rewards card. Ever.
And the computer data said I had acquired this card in 1996 at a Harrah's casino in Laughlin, Nevada. I have never been to Laughlin. In 1996 I did go to Las Vegas, over Thanksgiving. I told the lady that and she suggested I may have taken the short drive south to Laughlin and that I just did not remember doing so. I asked her what address the computer data said was mine. She then read off my Mount Vernon address.
Why and how would anyone get my driver's license info and use it to get a casino rewards card? Extremely perplexing. And sort of aggravating.
Somehow Big Ed was successfully able to get one of those apparently precious Player's Cards. Sister Jackie then led us to the location of the slot machines on which I had previously won big. First Sister Jackie inserted her first husband's card into the machine. I then proceeded to more than double the amount on that card, before I cashed it out. Then Sister Jackie walked me through inserting Big Ed's card. That was more complicated due to another piece of paper needing to be loaded into another slot which somehow added ten bucks to the Big Ed Player's Card account,
I then proceeded to push the play button. This was a penny slot machine. But the lowest bet was fifty pennies. Have I already mentioned I do not understand, even remotely, these new style slot machines? Time and again I was winning pennies, in copious amounts. And then I accidentally hit the 100 pennies button to the momentary horror of Sister Jackie and Grandpa Jake. But that horror soon abated because that spin turned into a ten spin automatic bonus round where I once again accrued a small fortune in pennies.
Eventually I decided I had enough pennies so I rolled Miss Daisy to the machine in which one inserts their redemption vouchers.
As we began our exit Sister Jackie decided we might like something from the bar. So, we all ended up with very spicy Bloody Mary's. Tasty. Don't worry, mom's had no vodka in it. Nor did mine.
Leaving the casino Miss Daisy directed me to drive to Penny's Maricopa McDonald's, which seemed appropriate, what with me having won all those pennies.
I think it is fair to say that, compared to Wendy's, McDonald's is gourmet fare. I only had a fish sandwich, double cheeseburger, buttermilk chicken sandwich, fries, spicy BBQ chicken strips and Coke. But Big Ed amazed all, including Penny, with the volume he consumed. He had everything I had, plus starting off with a vanilla ice cream cone, then when all the others, but I, went into ordering dessert mode, Big Ed had another cone, plus a chocolate chip frappe and a couple chocolate chip cookies.
When I delivered Miss Daisy back to her abode, and Sister Jackie and Grandpa Jake had left, Miss Daisy asked, "So, what are we gonna do this afternoon?" I told Miss Daisy it was already afternoon.
This is going to be an exhausting month....
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