Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Mindless Ramblings Of An Anonymous Alcoholic

I was disturbed this morning to read the drunken blog ramblings of an individual I'll call Anonymous Alcoholic, aka AA.

It has been suggested to AA, by several concerned observers, that he not do any blogging after he has consumed alcohol. But, the suggestion has gone ignored, once more with embarrassing results.

AA vehemently denies being an alcoholic, despite the pile of evidence to the contrary. For one thing he is constantly talking about the booze he is drinking. And posting pictures of himself with the booze he is drinking. You see 2 examples of AA's drinking pictures here. I have cropped the pictures so as to preserve AA's anonymity.

In AA's latest drunken rambling he goes on about his superior intellect, confirmed by tests, like the SAT. And being the top student in his high school class of 11. Now, being the top student in a class of 693, that might be impressive. But #1 of 11? I think I'd keep that nugget to myself.

And then AA goes on to say that due to his daunting IQ all the stupid people have trouble relating to him. This was troubling to AA and had him feeling alone in the world. And then AA discovered that if he drank alcohol it dumbed him down enough that people could now relate to him.

Alcohol curing AA of his poorly developed social graces came as a revelation when someone told the inebriated AA that when he was drunk he acted normal. AA took that to mean he acted like all the other stupid people. And thus AA's alcoholic coping mechanism was born.

I have been in the presence of AA when he is sober and when he is not sober. Now I have never found him all that smart when sober or any dumber when drunk. I have noticed a slightly less shyness level when AA is medicated, with more of a propensity to converse in a friendly manner with strangers.

There is talk among those of us concerned about AA's descent into Don Birnam Lost Weekend territory that an intervention is desperately needed. The means to that end has not yet been determined.

16 comments:

lulu said...

I might be wrong, but cutting his head off and then having the same picture on your blog roll.....well lets just say that it didn't take the smartest person in any class to figure out who mr aa is.

Durango said...

Mighty fine detective work, Miss Lulu. If that's your real name.

lulu said...

It was a name bestowed on me by a dear friend.

Durango said...

How wonderful for you to have such a dear friend who bestowed such a nice name on you. What a lucky girl you are.

Cheap Tricks and Costly Truths said...

Mr. Durango, you keep dwindling our class down to half it's size...really, the graduating number was 21. It's a good thing AA and I transferred in, before we got there the highest GPAs were something like in the mid 80s...quite disparaging.

I never knew AA's SAT Scores, but anyone can boost their SAT scores with ample vocabulary preparation. I know I was trying to gain admittance into Baylor and only needed a score of 1000 and was quite pleased when I got 100 points over what I needed. Baylor sent me the acceptance letter right away.

I've not participated in an intervention in quite some time, but it sounds like great fun and with some notice I can be there in about 7 hours.

Durango said...

CT2---
I'll keep you posted on the Intervention Plans. I'm sorry about shrinking your class size. That's quite something to be the top student in a class of 21.

Gar said...

Who is this mysterious AA person? And why is everyone so interested in his SAT scores?

And it's possible he had the highest GPA in a 50 mile radius and just happened to attend a small school.

I mean, I'm just sayin.

Anonymous said...

You're not so bright yourself, Mr. Durango. I am the anonymous commenter who coined the phrase "Fort Worth bad, Seattle good" to needle you and you thought I was serious and thin skinned.

I can drink this amateur under the table too and do so on a nightly basis. I aint got time to blog about it tho.

Cheap Tricks and Costly Truths said...

Dear Anon,
"I can drink this amateur under the table too and do so on a nightly basis."

That's something to be very proud of! Hey, AA...where shall you and Anon meet? Dick's Last Resort? Sounds like a good place to start. :)

That 50 mile radius, excludes the really big schools of Ector County, right?

Gar said...

Bragging with stuff like, "My car is bigger than your car" or "I can drink more than you can" irritates me more than Durango irritates me.

Mr Anon can drink under the table (by himself) all he wants to.

I tried to exclude the schools in Ector County. I'm quite sneaky.

The valedictorian of Kermit was and still is a very good friend of mine.

Every time I see him he thanks me for moving :-).

Durango said...

Gar---
You are way too easily irritated. I think maybe this too easily irritated tendency may be what drives you to self medicate with fermented beverages.

Aren't you something like 25 years removed from high school? Maybe it's time to move past the need to brag about being the top student in a class of 11.

I find it difficult to believe the valedictorian of Kermit thanks you for moving every time he sees you, so grateful be he that he got to be the top student by default.

Gar said...

Mr D. You are giving a prime example of the very reason I don't talk to people.

You read my post that I later removed. I wasn't bragging about being valedictorian. I was complaining.

My friend from Kermit doesn't thank me every time. He only did that once.

I do agree with you on one point. I am too easily irritated.

Durango said...

Mr. G.---
You quite clearly said your imaginary Frog friend thanked you for moving, every time he sees you. (see above) So, now you've gone from saying he says this every time you see him to only saying this once.

If I recollect what you were saying in your drunken ramblings the point you seemed to be making was that due to you being so ultra smart, us regular stupid people have trouble relating to you. But when you are inebriated, us regular stupid people then consider you Normal. And thus you can relate to us on our stupid person level.

I'm probably wrong, but I don't think your troubles stem from growing up in a little town in West Texas while being the smartest boy in a class of 11. I think maybe the growing up in a little town in West Texas left you woefully lacking in the social graces. And thus the difficultly relating to us common people who are not blessed with your daunting IQ.

I am glad you have at least reached a level of self awareness where you realize you are way too easily irritated.

Gar said...

Mr. D. ---
I know I went from saying every time to only once (for my Frog friend -- actually Theodore Roosevelt's son).

You know what they say. "If you can't beat them, join them." If you can exaggerate the facts to suit your needs then I can too.


I didn't say any of that in my ramblings, but it's nice to see how it was comprehended by you before I choose to republish for the masses.

Durango said...

Mr. G.----
I exaggerate no facts. All I did was try and recollect, as best I could, what I thought I'd read. It was difficult to follow the train wreck of your logic, so I easily could have misunderstood what I was reading. If so, I am terribly sorry.

Ninjak said...

I can relate to "It has been suggested to AA, by several concerned observers, that he not do any blogging after he has consumed alcohol. " I see myself in this kind of situation more often. It is difficult to control alcohol consumption moreover it is difficult to control the gossips the morning after. That is why I am trying my best to get over this addiction.. it may not be right away but I know someday I will