Hot, Lost & Malled In West Fort Worth

I had to be in West Fort Worth, on the 6th floor of a building just off University, this afternoon at 2. When I arrived at my destination, I was quick to realize I'd been given erroneous information.

I called Google Location Information and was given the correct location, which was a couple miles further west, near the Ridgmar Mall. I found the proper location, did what I had to do, then, looking at the Ridgmar Mall, I realized I had never been in it.

That, and I could not remember the last time I had been in a mall. I had been in the Sears store at the Ridgmar Mall before, years ago, to pick up a riding lawnmower, but never in the mall. I know it'd been totally remodeled since the lawnmower pickup.

So, I parked by the Rave Motion Theater. I think that is what it is called. Movies cost $9.50 now? I really need to get out more. Most movies I would not watch if you paid me $9.50 an hour to do so, but I digress.

So, I walked into the mall. Ridgmar is a 2 story mall. It does not look that high from the outside. By the time I was about 10 minutes in, I realized I'd made the same mistake I'd make before in a Texas mall, as in not paying attention to where I had entered. But it was by the theater, how hard could that be to find again? I thought.

My most horrifying getting lost, to a Seinfeldian level of distress in a mall, occurred soon after my Exile in Texas. I was driving a car I was not used to, a loaner, while the main car was having something fixed. I wanted to check out the infamous Galleria in Dallas. One of the biggest malls in the world. At the Galleria there are no parking lots. Near as I know. It's all parking garages. And the exits from those parking garages enter the mall at various levels.

So, one is a fool if one is in the Galleria and does not make note of what level one is parked on and what store one entered. I was only half a fool. I knew I'd entered via Neiman-Marcus. The Galleria is a 4 level, or is it 5, mall. It is huge. On the lower level there is a big ice rink, and, if I remember right, a big restaurant, food court zone.

If you saw the late Farrah Fawcett in Dr. T. and the Women, the Galleria is where Farrah decided to take a skinnydip in a fountain. I always liked Farrah, particularly in her later, bare it all years.

Anyway, I wandered all 4 or 5 levels of the Galleria and then I was ready to get out of there. I made my way back to Neiman-Marcus, wandered through the store til I found an exit to the parking garage. I thought I was on the right level. But I could find no car. This was not a car I was used to spotting. It ended up taking me over an hour and an estimated 1,500 calories to find that car.

I have been back to the Galleria one more time. I did not get lost that time. The Galleria is walking distance from, sort of, one of the World's Most Unique McDonalds, in case you are in the neighborhood and craving a Big Mac.