Tuesday, March 23, 2010

HOT In Texas Getting Advice From Twister & Dr. L.C. Plus Elsie Being A Hotpepper

It is in the 70s this afternoon in North Texas. The Tandy Hills were dried out enough from last Friday's deluge and the weekend freak snowstorm, to be nicely hiked today.

I had no choice but to ignore Twister's advisement to not appear in public shirtless until I had liposuction or some other procedure, the details of which I'm forgetting, but it was hot, I was overheating, I needed minimalist attire.

If I remember right, Twister also advised that one of the reasons I overheat so easily is likely due to all that extra heft I pack around. I refuse to go on a diet. I'm okay with being a Big Ol' Fat Texas Boy.

My therapist, Dr. L.C., was full of therapy today. Apparently I constantly have a very mad look about me that is quite scary. Dr. L.C. also complained about my feeding schedule, saying I eat lunch too late for someone who gets up so early. Without saying so directly, it's clear to me that Dr. L.C. agrees with Twister that I need to do a lot of push-ups to get rid of my disgusting flabbiness.

All this therapy is really starting to hurt my delicate feelings.

And then, for no reason fathomable to me, Elsie Hotpepper claimed I implied she was that word that starts with a 'B' and rhymes with rich. Or itch. Or witch. Or snitch. Or, well, you get the idea.

I was seriously offput by Elsie's erroneous slander. I may have thought such a thing to myself, maybe, but the thought surely never rose to the level of me implying, in anyway noticeable, that I thought such a thing.


twister said...

Not to be too psycho-analytical but there's a saying even negative attention is attention. Someone may be fishing for comforting words of attention and comfort. Tread cautiously, seek peace and pursue it.

Anonymous said...

Twister sounds like a fortune cookie. I remember you went hiking with him. Does he talk like a fortune cookie? And what's he look like?

Durango said...

Anonymous, I do not recollect thinking Twister talked like a fortune cookie. I do remember he does have a Texas accent, though not as pronounced, twangy and drawly as Gar the Texan's and Elsie Hotpepper's. Twister's accent is more of the mild, melodic sort like my therapist's, Dr. L.C.

As for what Twister looks like. Well, I don't know why he has no pictures of himself on his various blogs and other social media. I was asked before what Twister looks like and I really don't know. I guess I did not look at him with it in my mind to make note of what he looked like.

All I can remember is he was taller than me, maybe he had a hat on and was wearing sunglasses. I don't know if I could pick Twister out of a lineup.

I guess I could say there was nothing oddbally about Twister that I made immediate note of, like the first time I met the aforementioned Gar the Texan and was shocked to see he had this humongous mullet hair-do that appalled me. I remember thinking to myself, what decade does this boy think he's living in? Late 70s?