Monday, July 20, 2009

The Queen of Wink Texas

That is Queen Jammin sitting on her throne outside her palace in Wink, Texas. I do not know why she is sitting on her throne without wearing her tiara. The tiara lack seems like some sort of breech of protocol, to me.

And I won't even comment on the fact that I've never seen a Queen in short shorts before.

Then again, the municipality of Wink, over which Queen Jammin rules, is in Free Texas, far removed from the fascist area of Texas, where Queens must cover their legs or risk being de-throned.

Queen Jammin frequently drives around the greater Wink metropolitan area without wearing her seatbelt, waving at the local law enforcement officer as she drives slowly by.

The Queen of Wink and her Entourage will be making a visit to Dallas in August. I do not know if this is an official visit or what the purpose is. Security is quite tight. I hope she has the good sense not to take her Royal Entourage to Fort Worth.

Speaking of fascist Texas, well, more specifically, fascist Fort Worth. Overnight I learned of a new victim. I will call her Martha. Martha had had a hard long day. She was heading home, eager to get there. So Martha inched a mile over the speed limit. Martha was pulled over by one of the Fort Worth Gestapo. The Gestapo agent saw that Martha's driver's license indicated she needed to be wearing eye glasses. The Gestapo agent did not accept the fact that Martha now wears contacts. Then Martha was unable to locate her insurance papers.

So, the Fort Worth Gestapo agent issued good, upstanding citizen, Martha, a ticket that listed her speeding violation, her lack of glasses violation and her lack of insurance documentation violation.

This past weekend Martha served 8 hours in a Fort Worth Driver's Re-Education Internment Camp. I do not know if this run-in with the Fort Worth Gestapo is causing Martha to consider moving to Free Texas or not. Or if she is ready to join the Free Fort Worth Underground.


Earl of Sandwich said...

Queen Jammin is the purtiest queen I've ever seen.

Durango said...

I don't disagree, but I gotta say, Queen Elizabeth of the UK was quite the hottie when she first got on the throne. She only turned dowdy in her later years. I hope Queen Jammin can keep that dowdy thing from happening to her. That would be tragic, not only for her, but for Wink and all of Free Texas.

Cheap Tricks and Costly Truths said...

Wow, I've been promoted from the Liz Taylor of Wink to now the current Queen of Wink, how lovely.

No, the ladies of the court and I will not be visiting Ft Worth. I'm quite used to getting my own way and receiving special treatment, I'm not sure I'd like to be treated as a commoner.

Poor Martha, that would of never happened in my kingdom.

Durango, you need to have your eyes checked...those are not short shorts.

Durango said...

My eyes are fine. I should have been more articulate, in that those appear to be very short shorts for a Queen. For a commoner, not so much.

ChipSeal said...

I wonder if the earnest Gestapo agent, so hell bent on reducing crime, allowed dear Martha to drive her automobile home?

Durango said...

ChipSeal----Good point. If Martha was such a hazard driving over the speed limit without her glasses, it would seem irresponsible for the Gestapo Agent to let her continue on her way, endangering herself and others. He should have put her under protective custody and had the car impounded.

Gar said...

Don't be too kind to Wink's gestapo. I got my first ticket in Wink for passing too close to an intersection. I had a wreck.

The guy who hit me was all the way over in the right shoulder of the road when he decided to turn left.

I've never forgiven the Wink gestapo.

Durango said...

Gar----It seems to me, from all I've read about your various police encounters, that you somehow bring out the fascist gestapo in pretty much every cop you meet. That you managed to agitate Wink's Barney Fife is very telling.

Cheap Tricks and Costly Truths said...

To be fair, and I suppose since I now have the responsibility of being the Queen, I do remember a little boy on a bicycle receiving a ticket when Betty Lou hit him with her car. I can't quite remember what the little boy on the bike received a ticket for, but I did think that was bit ridiculous.

Gar, do you think it had anything to do with that god awful pineapple stink bomb your dad created in the Wink High School chemistry lab? That smell permeated the entire school, it took days for it to finally dissipate.

Durango said...

CT2-----Has Gar always been a trouble maker? Was he the little boy who hit Betty Lou? I knew Gar is a bad boy. I did not know he was this bad.

Cheap Tricks and Costly Truths said...

Durango, I remember him being an incidious instigator, but he was never bad enough for my taste.

Durango said...

CT2---"incidious?" Are you trying to say that Gar was an insidious instigator? Or is "incidious" a word with which I am not familiar? Some derivative of "incident?"

Gar was a bad boy instigator, but not bad enough for you?

Cheap Tricks and Costly Truths said...

No, no...insidious with an s is correct, I suppose there could be implications involving an incident, but I'm hardly qualified to make such a comment.

I'm pretty sure he never tried to do anything for me. Come to think of it, I really don't remember much about Gar...I mean he was in my Alg II class, Elementary Analysis, Chemistry I & II, Eng III & IV class, possibly we had band together, but considering Wink was such a thriving metropolis at the time, and there were so many people in our Senior class...I can't say I ever really knew him at all.