The Monday Morning 1st Day Of June Texas Blues

I believe we are looking at Elsie Hotpepper, in the picture, previous to her recent makeover, madeover prior to graduating, on Memorial Day, with yet one more post-graduate degree.

There is such a thing as being too smart. Elsie Hotpepper may be the poster girl for that concept.

I have not heard from the Queen of Wink. I do not know if she made it back from Denver, to Wink, with a new car. I am sort of concerned.

The Queen of Wink's blog was updated on Memorial Day, with a Memorial Day memorial to the Queen's own birth, which the blogging said was on Memorial Day.

However, I do not believe May 31 is the Queen of Wink's birthday.

Calling the Queen of Wink gets no answer, or voice mail, thus indicating her phone is off or she is not in a service area.

Maybe I should try and get Somaphx to drive up from Marfa to check in on the Wink Queen's welfare.

Meanwhile the only person from Wink smarter than the Queen, Gar the Texan, has returned from his soccer vacation in Milan, Italy, and is now playing on a Texas soccer team for semi-geezers. I believe, to get in shape, Gar the Texan has been watching Sex in the City marathons and getting chased all over his house by his housefrau.

The last I've heard from Betty Jo Bouvier she was sharing with me her extremely well reasoned dissertation on "Why Men Are Never Depressed." I believe this may have been a homework assignment in a class Betty Jo is taking. I take umbrage with Betty Jo's description of people, like me, being simple creatures, but other than that...well, read it yourself....

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$200. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.