Alma Fixes America's Sick Economy

One of the most brilliantly bright people it is my extreme pleasure to know is Alma, the Songbird of the Texas Gulf Coast.

Alma may have the best sense of humor I've ever encountered. Usually when people send me things they think are funny, I usually don't. But Alma sends me a lot of stuff and it is almost universally either funny or interesting or both.

In other words Alma has impeccably good taste. And extraordinarily good judgment and wisdom about all sorts of things.

Including America's current economic disaster. Obama really would have had a much better Secretary of the Treasury had he picked Alma over that tax-evading Tim Geitner guy who seems way too confused to be figuring out anything complicated.

Whereas Alma has come up with a simple plan to fix the economy which she calls "Patriotic Retirement."

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Alma would pay these workers $1 million each with 3 key stipulations.

1) They quit their jobs. With 40 million fresh job openings Alma has fixed the unemployment problem.

2) Each of the new retirees is required to buy at least one NEW American car. With at least 40 million new cars bought Alma has fixed the auto industry.

3) The new retirees have to either buy a house or pay off their mortgage. Alma has now solved the housing crisis.

I am terrible at math, but it appears to me that Alma's Economic Recovery Plan is cheaper than the trillions of dollars currently being spent, or proposed to be spent.

Once the economy is back on track I wonder if the million dollar retirees can go back to work? A million dollars really is not going to tide one over for too long.

I wonder what Alma's plan for the pirate problem is?