The Travails of Tootsie Tonasket

I don't know what it is with those people up in Washington. Is it epidemic Seasonally Affected Disorder? I know they are having yet one more bad storm, today, in a winter that's been the worst in a long long time.

But, gray skies and sub-zero temperatures and a case of SAD, does not explain the stuff that goes on in Washington's Peyton Place, where Tootsie Tonasket lives.

The Tonasketans have more over the top nonsensical soap opera than a Mexican Telenovela. Just today, Tootsie's husband, Alfred, 57, freshly smitten with the charms of 22 year old, pimply-faced vixen named Misty, got a call from Misty wanting Alfred to come spend the night at her apartment in Omak.

Tootsie heard the arrangements being made. And then it got worse. Tootsie and Alfred's 25 year old, ne-er do-well son, Spade, wants to go along so he can spend the night with Misty's roommate. Spade is feeling lonely ever since the mother of his child, Beulah, booted Spade out, so she could take up with a Chinese Alaskan fisherman, who is keeping Beulah and Spade's child Nervada in a style that Spade was never able to afford. Spade has now turned pretty much into an alcoholic, drinking up to 2 six packs a day.

So, it is below zero in Tootsie's town. There is ice and snow on the ground. To be able to get out to the cleared roads, much shoveling was needed. So, Alfred has been out in the cold for a long time, trying to move the white stuff. That's poor ol Alfred in the picture, above, trying to shovel his way to Misty's.

Now, Tootsie is just beside herself with worry about all these shenanigans spinning around her. So, she's called me twice today. I am currently a great resource for advice about these type matters, due to I am currently reading "Jackie Ethel Joan: Women of Camelot." I knew Jack and Teddy were serial womanizers, but I had no idea Bobby was a bad boy too. I figured how could he have the time or energy, while helping Ethel pop out that huge litter they produced.

Tootsie seemed to appreciate hearing how Jackie, Ethel and Joan handled their womanizing husband woes. I'm sure she'll do as I suggested and look the other way while she works at re-decorating the house.

Meanwhile, here in Texas it is so darn HOT. I've got the windows open and the ceiling fan spinning. There is no chance of having Seasonally Affected Disorder in Texas at the current moment. I think I'll go over to Miss Puerto Rico's for some Telenovela type interaction.