Saloon Hopping With Elsie Hotpepper To The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge With Her 12-Gauge Shotgun

More often than not, when I agree to go saloon hopping with Elsie Hotpepper, the saloon hopping starts off in Fort Worth's Handley neighborhood at the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge.

Sometimes the saloon hopping hops no further than the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge.

The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge is a Lee Harvey Oswald themed bar. Ozzie Rabbit was Lee Harvey's nickname when he was in the marines, before he moved to the Soviet Union to become a communist.

I did not know it til I read it in the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge's ad in this week's FW Weekly that the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge has given away more 12-gauge shotguns than ANY bar in Tarrant County.

Is this how Elsie Hotpepper came to have that new shotgun she's been proudly packing lately?

How many 12-gauge shotguns has the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge given away to have it in the #1 spot for Tarrant County, I can't help but wonder?

A Gray Drippy Sunday In Texas Swimming In The Rain & Recovering From The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge

You're looking at the drippy view from my patio, this gray Sunday morning in Texas. Cloudy days are in our forecast here, until next Saturday, that being the day of the 2010 Tandy Hills Prairie Fest, when blue sky is currently predicted to return.

This morning I made my way through the standing water to the water standing in my pool. I like swimming in the rain. I thought yesterday seemed like being back in a northwest rain. This morning was even more so.

Usually the drops of rain here are Texas-sized, as in big balls of rain. The rain this morning is puny little pinprick northwest style raindrops, like drizzle on steroids. I rather liked it, somewhat due to the fact that this morning there was a rare temperature convergence, as in the temperature of the raindrops, the air and the swimming pool all felt the same.

I needed a refreshing pool dip this morning. I was out late last night and up late this morning. I never heard from Elsie Hotpepper til this morning, well, actually she emailed me last night, but I never read it til this morning. Miss PR filled in for Elsie with her own saloon hopping proposal.

Eventually the hopping landed us in Handley at the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge. Ozzie Rabbit was Lee Harvey Oswald's nickname when he was in the Marines. Yes, I know it seems, maybe, a bit distasteful to name a saloon after the guy who assassinated JFK. But it really isn't. The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge is quite tasteful.

Lee Harvey Oswald is buried near the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge, in Rose Hill Memorial Burial Park.

Inside the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge it is sort of like a memorial to JFK and the assassination. I've blogged about the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge, previously, in great detail.

My favorite cousin, Linda, Facebook friended me this morning. I have no idea how cousin Linda could have found me on Facebook. This is not the first time I've wondered about such a thing. At one point, Facebook put my ex-wife on its list of "Friend Suggestions." How could that connection possibly have been made? It's very perplexing and borderline troubling.

Looking At Ads While Drinking Heavily & Stripping

A few days ago I think I mentioned I wised up regarding my search for the world's biggest of one specific subject.

This morning I was looking through this week's Fort Worth Weekly and saw an ad for the Mule Pub. In the ad there is a person who might have been a candidate for my search, if I were still searching.

The caption under the potential biggest candidate says, "Screw working out...drink instead!"

I know that has always been my philosophy. Lately I've been pretty much drinking all day long.

You have to in this heat. Since we've hit the 100 zone I've been taking 3 bottles of water with me when I go take a hike. All day long I'm wandering into the kitchen to get yet one more glass of water with ice cubes floating in it. It's not quite as bad as being in Death Valley when it's 124 where you pretty much have to be constantly sucking on liquid, but it's close to that. I think I'd be shocked if I figured out how many gallons I drink a day.

It's supposed to be around 100 by noon, so I'm thinking since it Saturday and I'm a creature of repetitive habit, I'll likely go do some heavy duty sweating and drinking on the Tandy Hills today. Due to issues previously discussed, I no longer make mention of my hiking attire.

Speaking of water, we've got a lot of Watering Holes here in my zone of Texas. Right in my neighborhood there is the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge. Ozzie Rabbit was Lee Harvey Oswald's nickname. Lee Harvey is buried near the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge. Apparently the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge is the east side's hippest watering hole.

The Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex also has a lot of restaurants, so many that they add up to being the world's highest number of restaurants per capita. Why is such information always stated as "per capita" I typed and wondered? I believe "capita" means head. Maybe it's Latin.

In the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex we are also very proud of having the world's highest number per capita of women working in the stripping industry. Over 4,000 are gainfully employed doing that hard job. There are a lot of strip clubs here. In Washington there were very few such establishments, and none as elaborate and big as those here.

In FW Weekly the listings for strip joints is coyly under the heading "Cabaret." The Fort Worth Gentleman's Club was this year's FW Weekly critic's choice as Best Strip Club 2008. You have to wear proper dress to enter this club. I have no idea what proper dress in Texas might be. The Gentleman's Club has a real good seafood buffet on Wednesdays. Not that I will admit to knowing this from personal experience.

Rick's Cabaret was FW Weekly's reader's choice for Best Strip Club and FW Weekly's critic's choice for Best Exotic Dancer (China) and Best Place to Nurse a Hangover in 2008.

Both Illusions and Main Stage make reference to sleeves being required, with Illusions insisting that sleeves are required after 6 p.m. Does this mean long sleeves? Is it tank tops they are trying to ban?

The Texas Cabaret gives us a better idea of what proper attire must be with their rule of "No cut-off shirts or cut-off pants." So, I'm thinking if you wear a nice pair of cargo pants shorts and a shirt you'll be properly attired. To play it totally safe I suppose one would wear regular pants, as in slacks, not jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt, buttoned to the max. I wonder if I still own such things? And why are they so picky about what men wear while the women have very little or nothing on? That's perplexing.

The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge

I am never a good judge of what is in good taste or tacky or not. For the most part. In my neighborhood there is this bar, well, they call it a lodge. The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge. The East Side's (of Fort Worth) hippest new watering hole.

I saw an ad for The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge this morning in our local alternative news source called FW Weekly, a much more reliable source of information than the local propaganda rag that calls itself the Star-Telegram. In the Ozzie Rabbit ad, at the top, it says "CLASSIC COUNTRY WITHOUT ALL THAT PESKY INCEST!" What does that mean? There is classic country music that does have a lot of pesky incest?

And then another part of the ad says "Don't blame us for the Whiskey Dick!". Again, what does that mean? Whiskey Dick?

Now, maybe I should tell you what the theme of The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge is and why it is named The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge. Ozzie Rabbit was the nickname of Lee Harvey Oswald when he was in the army. Inside The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge there are a lot of iconic images, some huge giant poster size, of well known images from the JFK Assassination and aftermath, including the famous photo of Jack Ruby shooting Oswald.

Why, you might ask, would someone decide on this theme for their hip watering hole? Well, The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge is located in the urban village known as Handley. In the urban village of Handley there is a cemetery named Rose Hill Memorial Burial Park. Located in Rose Hill Memorial Burial park is the Gravesite of Lee Harvey Oswald. Yes, I live in the neighborhood where one of the world's most notorious criminals is buried.

And so you can have a few drinks at The Ozzie Rabbit Lodge ($1.50 Domestic Can Beer, $2.00 Lone Star, The Wagon Wheel spins all night with $2.50 shots) and then after you are suitably fortified you can walk out of Ozzie Rabbit's and head east on Lancaster in search of Lee Harvey Oswald's Gravesite. You can't really have a more hip nightlife experience than that!