Turkmenistan Texas

I was reminded of Fort Worth's Bass family when I saw this photo of what I believe is the Saparmurat Atayevich Niyazov Performance Hall in Ashgabat, Turkmenistan. Fort Worth's Bass Family, as I've noted previously, has an odd habit of naming Fort Worth buildings after themselves, like the Nancy Lee and Perry R. Bass Performance Hall in beautiful downtown Fort Worth.

Saparmurat Atayevich Niyazov was Turkmenistan's president for life til he died a couple years ago. He became quite famous during his reign for his megalomaniacal ways, one of which was a penchant for naming all sorts of things after himself on a level that leaves the Bass Family puny pikers.

Niyazov decided the old names for months and days would be much better if named after various people, such as himself and his mother and other Turkmenistan historical figures.

He even renamed bread after his mother. Both the month of April and bread became Gurbansoltan. April seems a much prettier name for both bread and a month. And a mother. Maybe Gurbansoltan sounds better in its native tongue than it reads in English. When I try to say Gurbansoltan it sounds like Gur Buns So Tan.

Niyazov banned car radios, lip-synching and all recorded music.

Because Niyazov thought dogs smelled bad they were banned from capital city Ashgabat.

Niyazov spent untold millions of dollars to build a lake. Which is yet one more thing Ashgabat and Fort Worth have in common, as in Fort Worth has a boondoggly plan to spend untold millions of dollars to build a lake, and just like in Turkmenistan, the good citizens of Fort Worth do not get to vote on the lake that may flood part of their town. Fort Worth's ruling junta makes those type decisions and then orders property owners off their property using the unique Texas variant of the concept of using eminent domain to acquire private property for the public good. Like building a lake.

President-for-Life Niyazoz liked seeing himself in sculpted form, so he ordered statues of himself erected all over Turkmenistan, including a 40 foot high gold statue that stood on top of a 20 story tower and rotated throughout the day to face the sun.

I used the past tense to describe the location of the above statue because it has gone bye-bye. The new Turkmenistan President-for-Life, Gurbanguli Berdymukhamedov, ordered the gold statue moved to another part of Ashgabat. I don't know if it still rotates.

The new President-for-Life is not seen as a powerful leader like his predecessor. Because he looks so much like the previous President-for-Like it is rumored throughout Turkmenistan that Berdymukhamedov is Niyazoz's illegitimate son.

Berdymukhamedov is sort of acting like his possible dad in that he is sort of making moves to start his own personality cult. He recently ordered that his likeness be put on newly minted coins. Can statues and a new calendar be far behind? Maybe he'll rename the country Absurdistan.

I bet there are members of the Bass Family who would love to have a statue or two in their honor, along with their likeness on a coin or two.