The Queen Of Wink's West Texas Black Eyed Peas Question

The Queen of Wink just returned from her mommy and daddy's, where she partook in the traditional New Year's food, like black eyed peas and cabbage.

The Queen asked me if Washingtonians partook of these foods at New Years.

Well.

At least she had the common sense to ask. Gar the Texan lacked that common sense when he asked me about black eyed peas.

I think it was in 2002, maybe 2003, Gar the Texan and I were going up to Turner Falls in Oklahoma. It was a few days before New Years.

Gar the Texan asked me if I was having trouble finding my black eyed peas this year.

I had no idea what this meant and feared he was slipping into the incoherency of one of his attacks of the vapors, which, ironically he did, shortly thereafter, but not before I told him I had no idea what black eyed peas were, besides Fergie's singing group.

Gar the Texan was shocked to learn that the entire civilized world did not believe you had to eat black eyed peas on New Year's Day to guarantee you'd have good luck during the New Year.

Gar the Texan was in all sorts of panic states due to fearing he'd not find black eyed peas in time to stave off a year of bad luck.

But, you just have had a year of real bad luck, so what good do these peas do you, I asked?

Before Gar the Texan could answer that question he started to have an attack of the vapors. I had to find him a Burger King so he could have a Whopper Burger before he went into total diabetic shock.

I never did get an answer to the what good did the peas do you question.

Since then Gar the Texan's luck has gotten even worse. Nowadays he finds himself married to a German 20 years his junior, who can't speak English. Which works out okay for Gar the Texan. Just today he was bragging about wearing a t-shirt that says, "I do everything the voices in my wife's head tell me to do."