Friday, August 27, 2010

J.D. Granger's Trinity River Vision Happy Hour Inner Tube Float Boondoggle On The Trinity River

On August 4 I blogged about J.D. Granger's bizarre plan to have a Trinity River Vision Boondoggle Happy Hour Float down the Trinity River in Fort Worth.

I opined that I thought it absurd to put people in water that has signs warning you not to eat fish you catch. And the water is dirty, really dirty. In addition to the dirtiness, there is a lot of litter, an amazingly lot of litter.

And critters, like turtles, who are willing to give chase, while snapping at you (I have had it happen), snakes, like water moccasin. And Alligator Gar, which are these bizarre "fish" that look like an eel/alligator mutation.

I have not seen an Alligator Gar in the Trinity River. I have seen one in Village Creek. I have not been back in a Texas lake since I saw an Alligator Gar and then talked to some girls on a dock on Lake Grapevine who told me one of their friends had stepped on an Alligator Gar the day before and had to be taken to the ER.

A year or two ago a fisherman caught a really big Alligator Gar in the Trinity in Dallas. I think it was 10 feet long. Or was that the length of the Alligator found last year in my neighborhood?

So, yesterday, Thursday, around 40 inner tubers joined J.D. Granger, with beer coolers in floats, for the Trinity River Vision Authority Boondoggle "Tubing Happy Hour."

You are looking at a pair of the Trinity Tubers in the picture above. This picture was in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, taken by Joyce Marshall.

The picture at the top is not of the Trinity Tubers, it is a picture of tubers in a clean river.

J.D. is working on a couple more floating happy hours, saying "Based on the demand we saw for this event, there will probably be something next spring or summer."

40 people does not sound like a rousing demand for an event to me.

Apparently, on July 4, J.D. and his Vision Boondoggle provided 100 inner tubes for Fort Worth's 4th of July celebration.

Where these 4th of July inner tubes floated, I do not know, but J.D. says, ""People literally came in [and] cut off their kids' jeans so they could tube. We're ordering at least 300 tubes for next July because of the demand."

The executive director of the TRV Boondoggle is ordering up at least 300 inner tubes for next 4th of July? Who is paying for these tubes?

The comments to the article in the Star-Telegram are pretty funny and pretty much on point regarding the absurdity. Below are a few of the funnier comments....

panthercitylover wrote:

We were having a good time, but a 4-foot-long alligator gar punctured my tube and almost bit me! Scary! I'm never getting in the Trinity again.

sarcasticallystooopid wrote:

Haha! The only people who would do this are either (a)not from Fort Worth or (b)rednecks. I'll drive down south to do my tubing, thanks and I am a Fort Worth native. I'm wondering if these morons have seen pics of the river when it is low. It is flat out disgusting, 55 gallon chemical drums, tires, dead animals, etc. Watch out for Okie turds and dead bodies.

Oh and don't forget: Man drowns in Trinity; passing bicyclist rescues mom and daughter. Jul 5, 2010 FORT WORTH -- An East Texas man trying to rescue his 7-year-old daughter drowned Monday afternoon in the Trinity River.

But I'm sure it's real safe if your drinking beer and floating in an unstable rubber tube.

paulasmithy wrote:

When I saw the headline, I thought this would be an article about potatoes growing by the river. Not that those would be particularly safe, either.

txlawyer2 wrote:

There are no advisories against swimming because the agencies thought that went without saying. Next year the headline will be the same, except for replacing "tubers" with tumors.

xxViixen wrote:

Ew!!! Dont float the Trinity. Go float the Comal or Guadalupe River in Austin. Those were the best times of my life!

truefwtexan wrote:

Is this a big surprise? We have insane heat around here, and we have a grand total of one public pool open. When we had 5, they were overcrowded, and now they are just insane. No wonder people are willing to lounge in the disgusting water just to cool off. Wake up, Fort Worth! We're burning up here!

midcitiesyj wrote:

Hahahaha! The comments below pretty much sums it up. Eeeeewwww, nothing like floating in no current and 90 degree water.... And watch out for the 2 headed snakes. The Paluxy is a very good place to go, but nothing compares to the cold water and fast current of the Guadalupe.

ustfuninfw wrote:

Next they'll be hosting swim events at the waste water treatment plants.

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