Hell Freezes Over & the Democrats Debate

No. Hell Freezing Over is not a reference to last night's debate between Barack and Hillary. I'm referring to an amusing email Alma the Texas Songbird sent me yesterday. Apparently it's been all over the Internet, but I'd not seen it.

But, before I get to that I must say I thought Hillary came out on top in this debate. Barack seemed to stumble a bit regarding explaining his unfortunate choice of words describing many Pennsylvania voters as being bitter and finding refuge in religion, guns and other dubious interests. Barack also stumbled a bit explaining his choice of church and minister.

Hillary almost seemed honest when she addressed the coming under sniper fire in Bosnia issue again. She sort of admitted to being embarrassed at being caught in such a bald faced lie. She also made the point that she's better suited to go against John McCain because people have been rummaging through her baggage for decades while Barack is fresh meat for the Republicans to attack.

Enough of talking about last night's debate. Below is the amusing email from Alma the Texas Songbird about Hell Freezing Over.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Barack's Wardrobe Malfunction

With the tone getting a bit nasty, tonight's Democrat Primary Debate in Cleveland should be interesting. Nasty may be minimizing. Ugly is likely a better description. I don't quite know what to make of Hillary's Team giving the Drudge Report a photo of Obama wearing native garb. When he was in Africa. Of course, the Hillary side denies giving Drudge the photo and is saying the same thing many others are saying, as in what was this supposed to prove? And a Hillary spokesperson said that Hillary has often donned native garb when in a foreign land.

It's another photo that has been around awhile, that seems much more scandalous to me, living as we do in the post Janice Jackson nipplegate wardrobe malfunction Super Bowl scandal era that brought about the end of civilization as we had known it.

The photo I am referring to is a photo of Barack Obama carousing on a beach. Topless. Totally without upper body garb. In our current era of equal rights between men and women why is it okay for a man to bare his breasts for all the world to see, but if a women does this for just a fraction of a second all hell breaks loose?

But, did this shocking photo end Barack's political aspirations? No, not in the least. But what if it had been Hillary who the paparazzi had shot topless, carousing on a beach? (what a shudder provoking thought) I think it's pretty obvious that such behavior would have ended Hillary's political career.

So, how is that fair? It's okay for Barack Obama to splash about, for all to see, virtually naked, but if Hillary did the same she'd be pilloried? And how is the photo of Barack in native garb controversial, where one of him mostly naked raises nary an eyebrow? In the native garb photo Barack is pretty much covered from head to toe, very little flesh exposed. And he is showing sensitivity to the culture he was visiting.

What twisted mind would make a big deal out of that African garb photo? Likely not the same twisted mind that would make a big deal out of Barack's topless photos. And on a totally unrelated note he looks to be in pretty good shape for a guy who smokes. But he should keep his shirt on.

Disenfranchised in Texas

I've been trying for months to get my voter's registration changed so that I can vote at my new address. At the last election I went down to my local polling place and I was not allowed to vote. On the actual election day you have to vote at the place you are registered. For me that was/is way north of my current location. Previous to the last botched election I'd done early voting. With early voting you can vote anywhere that there is an early voting poll place.

I've had a long history of trouble dealing with various Texas bureaucracies ever since my exile here way back in 1999. First thing I encountered was they insist on seeing your social security card to do just about anything. Now, up in Washington we'd always been told to keep this a secret, even before the problem with identify theft came into being. So, I had to get a social security card. This involved finding my birth certificate which involved asking my mom if she had any proof that I'd been born. She had none so I had to contact my place of birth in Oregon to generate a birth certificate so I could get a social security card so I could get a Texas driver's license and register to vote.

So, after many months of trying to go through all the hoops I finally was able to apply for a Texas driver's license. The DMV, or whatever they call it here, was a zoo. The computers that you took the written test on were so dilapidated that you could not make out colors. With the test asking you some questions based on colors. But, despite all the obstacles I managed to pass both the written and the driving test.

A couple weeks went by. My new Texas license finally arrived. On a Friday. I was planning to drive up to Washington for Christmas, leaving the next day. So, I was glad to finally have my Texas license. Til I looked at it more closely. As you can see by looking closely at the photo of my license, above, there is a rather glaring mistake.

So, yes, I headed north using a Texas driver's license that said I was a Female. Because of having this I did get one odd benefit. My sister let me attend her all girl Christmas party. But I had to be the greeter and show the girls my I.D. to establish my bonafides as being one of their gender.

When I got back to Texas I went down to the DMV, or whatever they call it here, waited in line, again, showed the lady my new license, asked her if she saw anything wrong. She said ooops. And then she checked the record. She had me lean forward and she whispered to me, "the records out of Austin say you are also African-American. You aren't are you?" I told her as far as I knew I was not either African-American or female, but how can anyone be absolutely 100% certain about such things?

So, now I guess I am in Texas Voter's Limbo. I'm fairly certain I can still do the early voting thing. Unless that has somehow gotten mucked up by me trying to change my polling place. I don't know why they don't have the permanent absentee ballot method that Washington and other states use. That would make it all so much simpler.

Now, if I do get to vote in the March 4 primary, who should I vote for? Barack or Hillary?