Burlington's Cascade Mall Being Repurposed As A Theme Park

I saw that which you here on Facebook, this morning of the first day of April.

I thought, wow, that is impressive, my little old hometown, with a population a little under 10,000, is repurposing the Cascade Mall as a theme park, with a hotel, a night club, a themed arcade, an I-Max movie theater, a waterpark, 380 condos, an In 'n Out Burger restaurant, along with the nearby Target being taken over by Trader Joe's.

Impressive.

And then I realized it is the first day of April, also known as April Fool's Day...

No Foolin' With Horses Or Life Jugs Or Slotemakers On April Fool's Day

At my first abode, when I moved to Texas, the three horses you see me sitting with, above, were part of the household. The horse named Caution knew how to open the gate to the backyard. Caution would then lead the other two in for a visit. 

I forgot to mention that this morning, whilst looking for a Delicate Arch photo, I came upon the photos you see here.

I thought I remembered one of the horses getting in the pool, and it being a bit of a struggle to get the horse back on dry land. I have been informed that this is a false memory, likely the result of a nightmare.

My cat, Hortense, who made the move to Texas via flying, liked the horses. Hortense would purr, whilst holding her by a horse, and would reach out with a paw to pet the horse.

Moving on to Life Jugs...

The above photo was taken in Dinosaur Valley State Park.

Dinosaur Valley is one of my favorite Texas parks, with great hiking and mountain biking trails. The park has a swimming hole courtesy of the Paluxy River. I was slightly appalled when I saw the LIFE JUGS: THROW A DROWNING PERSON sign, with two jugs hanging from the sign.

Was this supposed to be a joke? Or are they serious. The swimming hole looked fun to swim in, except there were turtles enjoying it. You don't want to swim with turtles. I was chased by a big turtle whilst swimming in Lake Grapevine. If I remember right that turtle chased incident was the last time I got into a Texas lake.

Moving on to more signs...

Washington's Maxine sent me the above photo a couple months ago. She saw this in a store in Lynden. 

Slotemaker is Dutch for Jones.

The original Slotemaker farm is a short distance east of Lynden. For some reason the Slotemaker road signs get frequently stolen. One or two of my nephews engaged in this practice, with the purloined signs hanging on their bedroom walls.

Let me see if I can find a photo of the last time I was looking at the Slotemaker road sign.

That would be three of the youngest Slotemaker Jones, Ruby, Theo and David, standing under the Slotemaker Road sign whilst their favorite uncle takes a picture of them.

The above photo was taken August 12, 2017, almost five years ago. Hard to believe it was that long ago. In my memory it seems like yesterday.

That was one special, unforgettable day...

(If you click on the link the date on the blog post is August 14, that being the day the post was posted, but August 12 was the date the photo was taken)

J.D Granger Resigning From Trinity River Vision Is No April Fool's Day Hoax

This morning of the first day of April, about the same time the sun arrived, there was a loud thunder boom followed quickly by a downpour which poured down for a very short duration.

Whilst the downpour was pouring down I thought I would likely bail on the morning swim routine, what with it not being all that much fun to swim dodging big raindrops and lightning bolts.

However, by the time I was ready to get wet nothing was dripping or zapping from the sky, so I was able to have myself a mighty fine time getting some much needed endorphins in that turquoise oasis you see here under a stormy looking sky.

Prior to getting wet I got an email from Spencer Jack's dad, subject line: Seattle Space Needle Collapsed!!!!

The email included a small black and white photo of what I guess was supposed to look like a collapsed Space Needle.

I Googled "Space Needle Collapse" to learn that today is the 25th Anniversary of the infamous Space Needle Collapsed April Fool's Day Hoax.

I was living only a few, well, 55, miles north of the Space Needle at that point in time. I remember no April Fool's Day Space Needle Collapsed Hoax a quarter century ago.

A few minutes after seeing Spencer Jack's dad's email I was in the pool where it occurred to me that it might be amusing to make up an April Fool's Day Hoax.

By the time I got back to my computer I'd decided not to do any April Fool's Day Hoaxing.

The hoax scenarios I was considering were Trinity River Vision Boondoggle related.

One hoax scenario had J.D. Granger resigning as Executive Director of The Boondoggle, with a J.D. Granger quote along the line of  "I simply could not continue with this charade any longer. Having to sell the ridiculous idea that it makes sense to take four years to build three little bridges over dry land. Worrying that if those bridges get built, then what? There is no money to build the flood diversion channel under the bridges. When I got this job I was so naive that I did not realize I got the job so as to motivate my mom to secure federal money for the project. When the reason I got the job became clear to me it was very humiliating, and continues to be humiliating. I have been in over my head from the start. I think that fact has become abundantly clear to those who have watched this project flounder. I want to apologize to the people of Fort Worth and say I am sincerely sorry for my part in this charade."

The other hoax scenario was to be a Fort Worth Star-Telegram editorial citing all the reasons it is time to pull the plug on the Trinity River Vision before it does any more damage to Fort Worth.

Anyway, Happy April Fool's Day, everyone. I hope no one fools you today....

A Happy April Fool's Day With Wildflowers & Turtles

This morning I was in Arlington, which is the town where the Village Creek Natural Historical Area is located.

Since I was in the neighborhood, and even though I'd biked with the Indian Ghosts on Easter, I decided to walk with them today.

As you can see, via the photo, the Village Creek Blue Bayou was looking particularly blue today. Blue and green. Swamp foliage appears to be over proliferating.

Today is the first day of April. Also known as April Fool's Day.

April Fool's Day is the holiday celebrated world-wide where one tries to fool people. Usually the fooling takes the form of making up some somewhat plausible story. For instance, every year, previously, since I've been writing this blog, on April Fool's Day, I make up some scenario that has me moving from Texas.

I saw something today that reminded me of the first time I drove from Washington to Texas. That being the wildflower you see below.

I believe this particular wildflower is called an Evening Primrose. I only saw one instance of this flower blooming today. Usually there would be a big patch of these wildflowers. Back in early May of 1998, when I drove to Texas to see if it was feasible to move here, south of Amarillo I began seeing delicate looking flowers. Eventually I stopped to check out these flowers close up.

Texas being so colorful, from wildflowers, was the first of many unexpected Texas surprises.

I don't remember if it was an unexpected Texas surprise to find out that so many turtles thrive at this location on the planet.

The Village Creek turtles were having themselves a mighty fine time basking under the sun today.

I went swimming early this morning. Methinks I may go for a rare afternoon swim and do some turtle-like sun basking.

If the weather predictors are correct with their predicting, some time around midnight tonight some heavy duty storming should begin banging, blowing and dropping water, with the banging, blowing and water dropping continuing through Tuesday's daylight hours.

It Is A Happy April Fool's Day Morning In Texas With Noisy Birds

As you can sort of see, via looking out my primary viewing portal on the outer world, the first day of April is a sunny Sunday at my currently location in Texas.

Since it is April Fool's Day I was going to say I won the lottery last night and wanted to buy a new car for anyone who wanted one.

But then I decided that was just plain dumb.

The past couple years, on April Fool's Day, I have said that I am finally exiting the Great State of Texas, moving to greener pastures elsewhere.

But, that always brought way too many glad to see you go messages, which sort of hurt my delicate feelers. A couple people, if memory serves, got that me saying I'm leaving Texas was April Fool's foolery.

The bird symphony this morning is lacking its usual melodic coherency and is instead sounding like bad jazz, with discordant notes and an erratic syncopation. If the birds don't get their music act together I may need to shut my windows to shut them up.

Or go swimming and let the noise of the fountain waterfall drown out the avian squawking.

At this very moment, just as I was complaining about them, the birds have all shut up. Spooky.

Up Early On April Fool's Day Thinking About Car Wrecks And Last Night's Party At Billy Bob's Texas

As you can see via the view through the bars of my patio prison cell I am up early on the first day the new month.

Today is the day that in the past I've announced I am moving out of Texas. And then at some point in the day someone realizes this is my idea of an April Fool's joke.

Well, this year it is no joke. I am moving out of Texas. I just don't know exactly when.

Did everyone have as much fun as I did last night in the Fort Worth Stockyards at the 30 year anniversary party for the world's biggest honky tonk, Billy Bob's Texas?

I learned today that deaths from driving accidents fell to the lowest level since 1949, according to the Department of Transportation, in 2010, with 32,788 highway deaths.

The biggest decline was in the Pacific Northwest zone of Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana and Alaska. Arizona, Hawaii and California also had a big decline.

I assume the decline is due to cars being safer, people wearing seatbelts, fewer drunk drivers and better roads. And people driving less.

I read nothing about what the Texas road death's statistics are. I would hazard to guess it's not so good.

Well, the sun is now up, it's 50 degrees, so I am going swimming now.

The KFC Double Down Is Real! No Fooling On April Fool's Day

When this came into my email box this morning my initial reaction was YUK. Two slabs of Kentucky Fried Chicken making a sandwich with cheese and bacon.

I thought KFC was going a healthier route, what with their Grilled KFC and other less greasy options.

The email from KFC had links to Twitter and Facebook that also promoted this KFC Double Down Real Deal.

Also a link to the KFC website's Double Down page, complete with a countdown to when you can buy your first Double Down on April 12.

So, with "no fooling" in the KFC email's subject line it dawned on me that this was an April Fool's Day joke.

But, now, I don't know. It's a pretty elaborate joke, if it is.

From the KFC website, "The rumored KFC Double Down sandwich is REAL and it's coming April 12th! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!"

The Double Down comes in two versions – Original Recipe® or Grilled and the nutrition information is below.

Sandwich	Calories	Fat (g)	Sodium (mg)
KFC Original Recipe® Double Down	540	32	1380
KFC Grilled Double Down	460	23	1430

How can all that fried goodness be only 540 calories?

So? April Fool's Day Joke? I don't know.

I listened to Rush Limbaugh for a short while today, while driving, and caught the tail end of him saying, I think, that he does not do April Fool's Day Jokes anymore due to the disheartening number of people who don't realize that it is the 1st of April and that they are being pranked.

I don't often empathize with Mr. Limbaugh, but on this serious April Fool's Day Joke issue, he and I are in total agreeance.

I hope everyone is having a Happy April Fool's Day. My favorite holiday of the year...

Post April Fool's Day Blues in Texas

Yesterday was the first day of April. This is also known as April Fool's Day. Some call this day All Fools' Day. It is not actually a holiday in the formal sense, but it is celebrated in many countries around the world.

This special day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication, perpetrated on friends, non-friends, family, neighbors, Internet users or just about anybody else, sending them on some sort of fool's errand or tricking them into believing some piece of information, the purpose of which, apparently, is to embarrass the gullible.

I can not imagine doing such a thing.

On April Fool's Day I blogged about ending my exile in Texas and my unfortunate weight gain, that had me contributing to trying to make Texas the fattest state in the union, which by default would make Texas the fattest place on the planet.

I got a lot of comments and emails about moving and being fat. The comments and emails truly touched me, truly, I tell you, truly.

Regarding ending my Texas Exile....

Tootsie Tonasket emailed:
You're coming back to Washington? Come live with me.

CP emailed:
You're moving to Seattle? Why not back to the valley?

Anonymous commented:
You are not allowed to go anywhere! Do you hear me?! Who is going to report the truth?! Certainly not our media...Anyway back to my original statement. You can stop unpacking now. Today's lesson - Life is too short not to live it as a Texan!!!!!

TT commented:
I am shocked. You're actually moving back! This should be fun.

And then another Anonymous commented:
Just so you know, Lord Voldemort is back on the streets. Does this change your decision to return?

Seattle Girl emailed:
When you going to be here? The day after meet me at Pacific Edge Starbucks, k?

And yet one more Anonymous commented:
I'm not sure if I love you or hate you. I will not deny being amuzed by your sometimes funny, sometimes sarcastic takes on Texas issues and overweight people. I call you my guilty pleasure. If you ever leave Texas you will regret it. I was not born or raised in Texas, just end up here via US Army. When I think about Texas I think about mild weather, warm and frienly people and the place where everything happens. I love Texas and everything about it.For every 10 Durangos leaving Texas there are a 100 waiting to have a shot at it. Take care whatever you do, wherever you end up.

Deby commented:
Please, please, please don't go! Who will be go to for the fun and facts about Texas, the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, Chesapeake Energy, fat woment at Wal-Mart, etc? Really, you can't leave us. It just wouldn't be right!!!

Well, I must say, Deby makes a compelling case. I shall have to give this all some thought.

And then there were the comments and emails about my unfortunate weight gain. There was only one comment to the blog.

Yet one more Anonymous told me:
You really do look like a really fat Tom Cruise.

And then there were a couple emails. With only one amusing one.

Tubby Tuna emailed:
It looks like your anti-obesity crusade bad karma came up and bit you on your fat ass! Hah! You deserve it porker!

Well, I've got news for Tubby Tuna. I was in error regarding my shocking weight gain. A mechanical error. My scale was reporting false information. This morning I bought a new scale that both measures my weight and my body fat %. I was pleased to learn I've lost 35 pounds overnight and only 7.5% of me is fat. How much of you is fat, Tubby Tuna?

I didn't think that old scale was making sense. It seemed like if I'd gained 35 pounds that my pants wouldn't still be so loose on me. Well, that's another mystery solved!

Anyway. Thanks, you all, for all your concern. About both me ending my Texas exile and my sudden descent into porkiness.