Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Pedal Pushing

I pedaled the mountain bike trail at River Legacy Park today with Miss Brady. On the way to Arlington, while still in Fort Worth, east Fort Worth, on Meadowbrook Lane, stopped at a light, I looked up and was surprised to see the new Dallas Cowboys Stadium, the roof support arches clearly visible in the distance. So, apparently the new stadium will be visible from Fort Worth. I'm guessing you'd have to be up in one of the many tall skyscrapers in Dallas to be able to see the Dallas Cowboys Stadium from Dallas. Visible from the ground in Fort Worth, but not in Dallas, I'm assuming. I suppose I should drive over to Dallas to see if I can see the stadium lest I opine something erroneous. But that would be way too much bother so let's just assume you can't see the thing from the ground in Dallas.

Back to pedaling. Went just under 9 miles. It's fun to have someone to bike with. Since I've been in Texas that's been rare. When I first arrived in Texas a fellow Washington transplant known as Big Ed would go biking with me. But there was an incident each and every time, usually a flat tire. On the final bike ride with Big Ed he managed to come up with something quite novel to ruin the bike ride. Somehow while going up a short hill Big Ed got his baggy shorts hooked on one of his pedals. This ripped his shorts off him. He was not wearing underwear. Somehow, using his t-shirt and his ripped shorts, he was able to cover himself up enough to make it back to cover without getting an indecent exposure ticket.


And then there was this Texas native I met years ago, a west Texas boy, born and raised in some town named Bug Butt or something like that, out by Midlands/Odessa. I refer to this person as Gar the Texan. Had not heard from him in awhile, til recently. He's a Libertarian. Ran for Congress on the Libertarian ticket and lost. A couple years ago Gar the Texan married an ex-communist from the former East Germany. She may have been born after East Germany ceased being communist, so maybe she isn't an ex-communist. I'm almost 100% certain she's not a former Nazi.

Anyway, Gar the Texan got a mountain bike and roller blades and hiking boots. He'd never been on a hike before so I drove him to
Dinosaur Valley and Turner Falls Park. Hiking he was able to do, for the most part, but biking and blading, not so good. He claimed to have health issues. Slight exertion did seem to quickly leave him wheezing for air and green of color. Which made little sense to me because he appeared to be in good shape, not overweight, except for carrying an excess load of hair on his head due to his unfortunately out of date (since fixed) Billy Ray Cyrus type mullet.

The first time I tried to bike with Gar the Texan was at Lake Grapevine on the Knob Hill Trail. We made it up one slight hill when his Southern Belle Beulah Routine kicked in. He pushed his bike back to my van after he recovered sufficiently to move.

The second bike incident was at Horseshoe Trails, also on Lake Grapevine. Gar the Texan did better this time til he lost control and flew over his handlebars, triggering a Major Beulah Attack. I got him stabilized on a bench and I pedaled back to my van so that I could rescue him and get him to an ER and then Krispy Kreme where he was able to eat enough doughnuts to stabilize his blood sugar.

The third bike attempt also went badly. I figured maybe paved trail would work better, so we parked at the Fort Worth Stockyards and pedaled the Trinity River Trail to downtown Fort Worth's Heritage Park. But I'd forgotten that there is a slight incline to get up to Heritage Park. Gar the Texan pushed his bike up the slight incline and then had a Beulah Attack. Heritage Park commemorates the founding of Fort Worth. Though Gar the Texan is a Texan, hence the name, it was not until he saw Heritage Park and read the signage that he realized Fort Worth had once been an actual fort. When he recovered that time he wanted to go to Hooters. With his health issues I thought Hooters would be way too stimulating so we went to Booger Red's and had Buffalo Butt Beer instead.

I only went roller blading one time with Gar the Texan. That did not go well at all. It was a nice paved trail by his house, smooth, easy to roll on. But he only made it a few wobbly feet before collapsing on a bench in full Beulah Attack Mode. After he recovered he wanted to go to Chili's and consume adult beverages to hasten his full recovery. So we did so and got subjected to listening to his barber discuss her problems with her roommate's love life. As far as I know this roller blading incident is the last time Gar the Texan did anything physical, other than getting married.

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