Wally The Duck Back Quacking On Lake Wichita

The day before the 2019 version of the 4th of July I learned Wichita Wally was once again floating.

Wally is a HUGE wooden duck. Some time ago he had taken up residence floating in a small pond a short distance from my abode.

And then a few months ago a big wind blew into town which caused Wally to lose his mooring, with the result being Wally required hospitalization due to wind damage, and a lengthy recovery.

So, on Wednesday I learned Wally was fully recovered and back floating, but at a new location, with that location being Lake Wichita, with Wally floating near the Lake Wichita dam spillway.

Today I decided to roll my bike wheels to Lake Wichita to see Wally.

When the spillway came into view I was surprised to see Wally's head sticking above the spillway, as you can see above.

I saw that and thought, oh no, Wally has come lose again and is heading towards the spillway.

But, a few minutes later, when I reached the top of the dam, I was relieved to see Wally was anchored a safe distance from the spillway, in no danger of going over the brink, as you can see via the below photo documentation.

I also learned on Wednesday that investigators from Guinness are trying to determine if Wally is the Biggest Wooden Duck in the World.

If that is found to be the case, that would give Wichita Falls two world records, the Biggest Wooden Duck in the World, and the World's Littlest Skyscraper.

Some towns can only dream of such prestigious honors, in Wichita Falls those type dreams come true...

Super Sweet 2019 Wichita Falls 4th Of July Parade

Today is the 4th 4th of July Parade I have eye witnessed in Wichita Falls.

Clearly I must find viewing this parade an enjoyable experience.

Each year this parade seems to be bigger than the year before.

I like the high level of kid participation. Reminds me of the Burlington Berry Dairy Days Parade of my own little kid years.

And mom and dad (mostly dad) making us elaborate floats. I remember one year we were the Flintstones. I was Fred. My brother, Jake, was Wilma. Another year dad pushed sister Jackie sitting atop a giant strawberry. That may have been the last in a long line of parade floats built by mom and dad.

I saw nothing as elaborate as those Berry Dairy floats of long ago, today in Wichita Falls. Actually, no floats. But still, a lot of people having a lot of fun, parading in various ways.

The Wichita Falls 4th of July Parade starts with Airman from Sheppard Air Force Base, marching with flags representing all the nations with airman stationed in Wichita Falls.

Here we see Uncle Sam and the Statue of Liberty atop a Wichita Falls Fire and Police Museum firetruck.

And another Statue of Liberty, along with a free spirited flag waver. Now that you are making me think about it, I may have been erroneous when saying I saw no floats today. I think the above qualifies as a parade float.

I also enjoy seeing the large collection of old cars pass by, such as the pair above, with the one on the right seeming to indicate that "We could use a man like Herbert Hoover again."

And here we have a clown version of Uncle Sam, driving a jalopy with extremely active suspension.

The Uncle Sam hat you see the kid picking up, above, blew off an Uncle Sam ahead of him in the parade. I watched the hat blow down the street, following it with my camera, til I snapped the shutter when the kid picked up the hat. I did not see if the Uncle Sam hat was successfully returned to the hat-less Uncle Sam.

Above you see one of those aforementioned kids on parade, getting ready to throw some candy at me.

I particularly like the volume of candy which gets thrown out at this parade. It is like Halloween in July. Kids come prepared with bags. Today, for some reason, I got a lot of candy thrown right at me. I was a sugar magnet. I was handing candy off to other kids, and enjoying some myself. I generally do not care for candy. But this was good stuff. One of which was some sort of modern day lollipop which had what tasted like a sour blueberry at the end of the stick.

Kids doing the candy scramble.

More kids picking up the candy litter.

And now the end of the parade, slowly moving south to the celebration at Kell House.

I did the Kell House part of the celebration my first time enjoying the Wichita Falls 4th of July Parade. Because that time I watched the parade from a vantage point near Kell House, sitting where there was no shade. The following years the parade viewing has taken place at a much shadier location at the heart of downtown, near the start of the parade.

One of the things I like about Wichita Falls is the ease of attending something, like a parade, or the Hotter 'n Hell events in August at the nearby by MPEC location. It takes about five minutes to get from my home location to downtown Wichita Falls, with zero problem finding a place to park, such as today, parking in the library parking lot.

One of the things missing from the Wichita Falls 4th of July Parade, which I have enjoyed at all other 4th of July Parades I have eye witnessed, as in the Arlington and Granbury 4th parades in Texas, and the Sedro-Woolley Loggerodeo 4th of July Parade in Washington, is local high school participation.

All the multiple Arlington high school's marching bands participate, along with the cheerleaders, and other high school groups.

My one and only time viewing the Granbury 4th parade the high school band participated, along with the cheerleaders. And the high school football team. I long ago webpaged my one and only time watching the Granbury 4th of July Parade. I will go see if I can find the link to it. If you see the link turned on, this indicates my parade search was successful.

Hope the 4th of July is fun and safe for everyone.

And see you all next year in downtown Wichita Falls, on this day, for the 2020 Wichita Falls 4th of July Parade. Which I suspect will be the best ever. Maybe with a high school marching band...

Seeing Grandpa Jake's Giant Geoduck Before Wichita Falls 4th of July Parade

I woke up my phone this morning to find that which you see here.

Spencer Jack and Hank Frank's Grandpa Jake holding a giant clam whilst standing on gravel with Hood Canal in the background.

This type giant clam is found in the salt water zones of the Pacific Northwest.

This giant clam is known as a Geoduck.

A paragraph from the Wikipedia Geoduck article gives a good indication of how unique this giant clam is...

The geoduck is native to the coastal waters of western Canada and the northwest United States. The shell of the clam ranges from 6 inches to over 8 inches in length, but the extremely long siphons make the clam itself much longer than this: the "neck" or siphons alone can be 3.3 feet in length. The geoduck is the largest burrowing clam in the world. It is also one of the longest-living animals of any type, with a lifespan of up to 140 years; the oldest has been recorded at 168 years old.

I did not know Geoducks were available for digging in the Hood Canal tidal flats. Those tidal flats are of a different sort than the tidal flats where I have seen Geoducks living, such as a sand bar, the name of which I no longer remember, which appears off Samish Island only during extremely low tides.

Yesterday Grandpa Jake confirmed via a text message that he is still up north enjoying the relatively cool Pacific Northwest. I thought he might be back south, enjoying the relatively hot Arizona.

I had no idea Geoducks, or any clam, had such a long life expectancy. I wonder how old this victim of Grandpa Jake's shovel was before it was murdered.

Changing the subject from giant clams to the 4th of July.

I will be heading north in a few minutes to downtown Wichita Falls in order to watch the 2019 version of this town's Independence Day Parade. This will be my 4th time viewing this town's 4th parade.

Clearly this indicates this town's 4th of July Parade is entertaining...

UPDATE: Back from the Wichita Falls 4th of July Parade with an update from Grandpa Jake regarding the estimated age of the Geoduck who lost its independence on Independence Day, with the update including photo documentation, along with explanatory text...

"Each ring or line equals one year of life. I need a magnifying glass to count accurately. My guess with my glasses on is around 35 to 40 years old."

Singapore's Mali Drives Us From Penang To Fort Worth's Trinity River Vision Project

A couple weeks ago my favorite Singaporean, Mali Wee, who I have known since the last decade of the previous century, posted on Facebook a photo of driving a car with the text saying something like "True Freedom. Driving."

Soon I learned Mali Wee was driving to Penang. Where is Penang I wondered? Another China town I had never heard of which Mali is visiting? Driving all the way to China from Singapore? This seemed unlikely.

And so I consulted Google to learn Penang is a town in Malaysia, within driving distance from Mali's home island.

Reading about Penang I soon found myself reading about the Sultan Abdul Halim Muadzam Shah Bridge. The article about this bridge was highly detailed, as to how it was designed, how it was paid for, and the actual construction, including delays.

And yet, even with a delay or two this actual Penang feat of complex bridge engineering was completed in about the same amount of time Fort Worth has been stuck slow motion building three simple little bridges over dry land, whilst pretending these pitiful bridges present some sort of complex engineering challenge and are of some sort of signature significance..

Oh, I forgot to mention, the Penang bridge is 24 kilometers, as in just about 15 miles, long. And built over actual water of the ocean sort. Deep ocean water with tides. And possible tsunamis. And so unique engineering was required so this long bridge could handle Mother Nature behaving badly.

No local congress person's inept, unqualified son was in charge of this Malaysian bridge project. Apparently Penang is not a backward backwater, but a modern city where public works projects are actualized efficiently. Unlike what is allowed to happen in an American backwater like Fort Worth.

So, seeing that this bridge in Malaysia has a Wikipedia article about it I wondered if the same was true for Fort Worth's imaginary signature bridges, known as the Panther Island Bridges, which have been trying to connect the Fort Worth mainland to an imaginary island, over dry land, for years.

Well.

On Wikipedia regarding Fort Worth hosting of America's Biggest Boondoggle one can only find one article, titled Trinity River Vision Project. The article has changed since I last saw it. With the changes changing the content to be total propaganda.

Propaganda so bad Wikipedia has a warning at the top of the article, which we screen capped at the top, along with the first two paragraphs of the propaganda.

First the warning....

This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page. This article needs additional citations for verification. (October 2015) The topic of this article may not meet Wikipedia's general notability guideline. (June 2009)

Wow! This topic has had a notability issue since June 2009. Over ten years ago. The previous iteration of this Trinity River Vision Project article was extremely embarrassing in multiple ways. The example which sticks in my memory is the mention made of the imaginary island, describing among that imaginary island's attributes one attribute being the large colony of feral cats.

The feral cats and all the rest of that previous article has been replaced with what appears to be propaganda puffery lifted directly from the Trinity River Vision Authority website. Read the entire Trinity River Vision Project article to fully realize the level of propaganda nonsense, but for illustrative purposes of the propaganda we will copy just the first two paragraphs...

The Trinity River Vision Project is a master plan for 88 miles (142 km) of the Trinity River (Texas) and its major tributaries in Fort Worth, Texas. The river is of significant historical value to the City of Fort Worth, as the current central business district was developed in 1849 as an army outpost along its banks.

More than a decade in the making, the master plan was conceived by volunteers and community leaders before being adopted by city, county, state and federal officials. The goal of the master plan is to enhance and preserve the river's corridors within the city, so that they remain essential greenways for open space, trails, neighborhood focal points, and recreation areas. 

There are so many examples of stupid idiocy with no connection to reality in the above two paragraphs I am not going to bother elaborating.

Suffice to say, Wikipedia needs to delete this propaganda. And someone needs to write a reality, fact based article for Wikipedia about the Trinity River Vision Project Boondoggle.

Maybe I'll find the time to do so...

Rumored J.D. Granger Shanna Cate Imaginary Caribbean Wedding Photo

In the past week, or two, I have made mention of the fact that we do not know if the Caribbean island nuptials took place between J.D. Granger and his long time TRVA mistress, Shanna Cate, as planned, last February.

Googling brought no confirmation. And we have not heard from our inside the Trinity River Vision source known as Deep Moat, confirming the wedding took place.

Deep Moat was planning to attend, and hopefully get us some photo documentation.

We did get the photo you see here, via email, sent from an email address which gave no clue as to the identity of the sender.

The text which accompanied this photo claimed this is a wedding photo of J.D. and Shanna, with the photo taken a couple minutes before they exchanged their sacred wedding vows.

Whilst supposedly attired in non-conventional wedding attire.

Well.

First off, We might suggest J.D. may have greater need than Shanna for the top part of her bikini.

And second off. We are 100% certain this is not a wedding photo.

But that this is a photo, cropped and slightly altered, which we have seen previously, of J.D. Granger and his then mistress, not yet wife, standing in the crystal clear waters of the beautiful Trinity River at one of J.D. and Shanna's infamous Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats at Fort Worth's imaginary world class music venue at the imaginary pavilion on the imaginary Panther Island.

And we are still wondering if the J.D. Granger - Shanna Cate nuptials were an imaginary wedding which did not take place....

Is Downtown Fort Worth Having An Imaginary Construction Boom?

 A couple days ago I hit the publish button on a blog comment thinking I would later figure out what caused Anonymous to make this particular comment, as the instigation was not instantly apparent to me, since the blog post to which Anonymous made the comment made no reference to that which Anonymous was talking about, as far as my memory recollected.

And then today I saw that comment pop up again, as a published comment. And then I realized what instigated the Anonymous comment.

First the comment which perplexed me...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Trinity River Boat Tours Latest Idiocy From Fort Worth's Embarrassing Boondoggle":

The cities 5th tallest building was built last year.... There's several buildings of note going up now.

And it was the following comment from another Anonymous which brought the second Anonymous comment...

Anonymous said...Isn't a forum dedicated to Fort Worth Architecture a bit of an oxymoron? When was the last skyscraper added to that town's skyline? Or other building of note? Those bridges that have been being built for years?

So, this second Anonymous is claiming Fort Worth's 5th tallest building was built last year, and that there are several notable buildings going up, right now?

Okay. uh, well, I always try to be totally tactful, but wouldn't the 5th tallest building in downtown Fort Worth be, well, sort of short? Are any of those downtown buildings technically what is known as a skyscraper?

So, I am thinking the 5th tallest could be added and not much be noticed.

During my time of seeing the stunning skyline of beautiful downtown Fort Worth I recollect only one addition that added to that skyline. That being the new Convention Center Hotel, with that addition not being even remotely an aesthetically pleasing edifice.

I recollect back when that building was first foisted on the skyline someone commented it should be nicknamed the "Nit Comb Tower".  Apparently this person thought all those balconies sticking out from the tower looked like the teeth on a flea comb.

Does anyone know what this new 5th tallest building is in downtown Fort Worth? Or what these other notable buildings under construction are?

These other buildings are going up now?

With what length of a construction timeline?

Completed some time in the following decade, like those hapless pitiful little bridges being built in slow motion slightly north of downtown Fort Worth?

Until evidence indicates otherwise I am going to assume this boom in downtown Fort Worth construction is of the imaginary sort, such as is much of what does not happen in that town...

Brazos River Cruise To Waco's Signature V-Pier Bridge Built Over Actual Water

For illustrative purposes I searched for an image of one of the River Safari cruise ship river boats of the sort which the Trinity River Central City Uptown Panther Island District Vision's Party Planner Division has contracted with to float river boat cruises on the super scenic Trinity River as it passes by the stunning skyline of beautiful downtown Fort Worth.

The River Safari cruise ship river boat operation is headquartered in Waco, Texas. I assume the above photo shows a River Safari river boat on the Brazos River at a location on the actually scenic Brazos River as it passes through Waco.

Among the actual scenic scenery one would see via a River Safari river boat cruise on the Brazos River is an actual real non-imaginary signature bridge, that being the iconic Waco Suspension Bridge. A short distance from that bridge one would float by the scenic cliffs of Cameron Park.

And imagine my surprise when I found the above photo and I saw the bridges. The first one looks like one of the pedestrian bridges which cross the Trinity River near the location of the Trinity River Vision's inner tube parties at the location of the Boondoggle's imaginary island.

And then there is the surprise of the second bridge.

Let's take a closer look at that surprising second bridge...

Are those V-piers holding up that bridge?

V-piers?

You know, those supposedly unique, one-of-a-kind piers which America's Biggest Boondoggle's propagandaists tout as making America's Biggest Boondoggle's bridges "signature" bridges, destined to become iconic symbols of, well, currently, iconic symbols of America's Biggest Boondoggle.

Those Fort Worth V-piers being built over dry land are now well into their 5th year of construction, with no end in sight until, maybe, some point in the next decade.

Did J.D. Granger and his Confederacy of Dunces copy a Waco bridge design before copying Waco's river boat cruises?

Is the Brazos River a polluted e.coli infested murky mess like the Trinity River? My times seeing the Brazos it looked like a normal river, not anything close to being a glorified ditch with heavily littered banks.

And another thing we have been wondering about regarding the Fort Worth version of Waco's Brazos River river boat cruises.

What with the Fort Worth version being a Trinity River Vision Party Planner Division operation, of course, booze consumption is a component, with the BYOB concept being pushed by the TRVPPD chief planner, Shanna Cate (Granger*).

Are there restroom facilities of the modern sort on board the Trinity River cruise ships? Or will the restroom facilities be the Fort Worth norm of an outhouse, or two, somewhere on one of the cruise ship's decks?

*We still have not received confirmation that the nuptials between Shanna Cate and her formerly married boyfriend, J.D. Granger, actually took place, as planned, on an isolated Caribbean island last February.

Fort Worth Botanic Garden Mindless Myopic Mistake

Now, what we have right here is yet one more reason why I have come to hold in such low regard the Texas town of Fort Worth.I continue to be baffled by the shenanigans that take place in this town.

For a town with a population rapidly approaching a million, Fort Worth has relatively few city parks for a town its size.

And many of those few city parks have few modern amenities, such as restrooms, and running water. But, plenty of outhouses.

And only a couple public swimming pools. And those with a $6 adult admission fee.

Years ago I was appalled when Fort Worth began charging an entry fee to its largest city park, that being the Fort Worth Nature Center & Preserve. $5 for adults, $2 for kids 3-12.

If I remember right I previously mentioned a scene I witnessed at that Fort Worth park soon before the entry fee came to be. I was at that park's Prairie Dog Town. An old station wagon pulled into the parking lot. A mom and dad and six kids got out of the car. The kids were so excited to see the Prairie Dogs. I could tell this was not a family which made a yearly trek to Disneyland or some similar destination. After that entry fee was added it would have cost this family $22 to see those Prairie Dogs.

No big deal, you say.

City parks are supposed to be amenities a town's people collectively pay for, so everyone can enjoy the experience of a park, Mother Nature and all the good stuff like that.

Modern cities pay for their city parks with taxes, or bond issues, or other funding mechanisms than a fee to enter the park.

It would be one thing if Fort Worth had a plethora of pleasing parks. But it does not.

What about other town's parks with which I am familiar?

Well, the town I lived in before moving to Texas, Mount Vernon, in Washington, has several city parks, all modern with modern facilities. Including one park called Little Mountain Park. Relative to actual mountains this should probably be called Big Hill Park, but Mount Vernon's Little Mountain would definitely be the biggest mountain for hundreds of miles at my current Texas location. Or Fort Worth. Little Mountain Park has a twisty road which takes you to the summit. A hang glider launch pad. A lookout tower. Miles of trails. It is a big park. And it charges no entry fee.

Tacoma has multiple parks, all with modern facilities. One is Point Defiance Park, which is one of the largest urban parks in America. No entry fee charged, despite being BIG, having miles of paved roads, trails, beaches, various venues, even a fort. Something Fort Worth does not have That being. Fort Nisqually in Tacoma's Point Defiance Park.

Or how about South Mountain Park & Preserve in Phoenix. One of the largest urban parks in the world. Miles of hiking and biking trails. Miles of paved roads. Multiple picnic venues. Multiple structures. Multiple rangers. And no entry fee. Or Papago Park, shared by Phoenix and Tempe. Another big park with multiple attractions and no entry fee. Or also in the Phoenix zone, the town of Chandler, where I am heading in a couple weeks, with multiple parks, none of which charge an entry fee.

And in Chandler there is this park, Veteran's Oasis Park, which sort of ties into what prompted this blog post, that being appalled that Fort Worth is going to start charging an entry fee to the Fort Worth Botanic Garden. Chandler's Veteran's Oasis Park is sort of a small version of Fort Worth's Botanic Garden, only with a lake filled with crystal clear water, and fish. With multiple modern restrooms, including one in an interpretive center with live critters, like snakes.

And no entry fee.

To enter the Botanic Garden Fort Worth is going to charge $12 for adults, $6 for children 6-15, $10 if you're over 65. And various limited schemes with entry fee discounts. Or free times, like for an hour in the morning, or an hour late in the day.

This entry fee has come about after much lamenting about millions of bucks needed for improvements, and to fill a budget hole of over a $1 million.

Read The Fort Worth Botanic Garden will cost you in July. Here’s how to go for free article for all the disturbing details.

Among the many reasons this seems so odd to me, besides the fact that funding for something like a Botanic Garden should just be part of a city's budget, which is the way it works in towns in modern America, there are other elements which are disturbing.

For instance. Fort Worth's Botanic Gardens has had revenue generators as long as I have known of this location. A fee to enter the Japanese Gardens. A fee to enter the big glassed greenhouse, which apparently has been long closed due to needing repairs. I do not know if it is still there, but when I last visited there was a restaurant by the Japanese Gardens.

There is a big building at the entry, with multiple meeting rooms of various sizes. And a large theater. I have attended events at this location. A revenue generating fee is charged to book one of these rooms. Weddings take place here, receptions take place here. All sort of events take place in these venues. All of which generate funds, unlike what takes place in other town's park, which charge no entry fee.

And then there are events in the Botanic Gardens such as Concerts in the Gardens. Do those events not make money? I remember years ago paying $15 to attend Star Wars Night.

So, something is way off here. Why is this park suffering such a funding shortfall? How was that well done Botanic Garden boardwalk through the trees paid for in this cash strapped park?

As is the norm, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram The Fort Worth Botanic Garden will cost you in July. Here’s how to go for free article generated zero comments, at least when last I looked.

However, on Facebook, via the Star-Telegram's Bud Kennedy, and another posting about this latest Fort Worth numbskullery there were dozens of comments which caused me to realize I was not alone in how I have reacted to this latest instance of the town of Fort Worth shooting itself in the foot. More on that foot shooting problem in a followup posting, but let's end this with a selection of comments from those aforementioned Facebook posts...

Kelly Cash: It makes me sad. It's not that much $ for one if not the wealthiest cities in the world, and the value of nature to mental health and well-being is just now being discovered. Botanical Gardens are different from plain parks. They ARE like libraries. They should be free. Especially in Fort Worth, a place that values art, nature and culture.

Ike Renfield: These exceptions are terribly limiting. All those little chopped up bits of time. A full three-day weekend just once a month (with rain dates) would be preferable to a few hours here, an hour there, albeit more frequently.

Wilson Armstrong: How much are we spending on the still-dry downtown pond front real estate development project? 17 million isn't that much for the city to cough up or put in a bond package.

Mariann Mitchell Taccia: We would not have to be returning "it to its former glory" and charging fees if it the Botanic Garden had not be miss managed in the first place and that fault falls on the city council.

Holly Behl: That’s a shame. Thinking back on all the visits I’ve made, I wouldn’t have made any of them if I had to shell out $30 to bring a friend in.

Michael Dallas: My family spent a lot of time in the parks and gardens of Fort Worth when we didn't have money to do anything else. Makes me sad that others won't get to enjoy the same.

Trinity River Boat Tours Latest Idiocy From Fort Worth's Embarrassing Boondoggle

If I remember right, and sometimes I do, it was via Elsie Hotpepper, last week, that I first learned of the latest embarrassingly bizarre nonsense from the Trinity River Central City Uptown Panther Island District Vision.

More commonly known as America's Biggest Boondoggle.

Or history's slowest un-needed public works project since the Great Pyramid of Giza.

Nothing with the Boondoggle ever seems to be completed, but new imaginary elements are added, as earlier elements fail.

Such as the obviously doomed to die Cowtown Wakepark, which TRVA Executive Director, J.D. Granger, touted as bringing the coveted sport of wakeboarding to an urban setting. This turned out to be an eyesore of a polluted pond which could only accommodate four wakeboarders at a time. Yet no one apparently intuited the obvious soon to happen fiscal failure.

And now America's Biggest Boondoggle is adding River Boat Tours on the Trinity River.

Someone with the name Anonymous made a comment on last week's blog post about Fort Worth's Panther Island Toxicity, with the comment containing links to two sources of info about this latest aspect of America's Biggest Boondoggle...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Fort Worth's Panther Island Remains Toxic While Tacoma Exemplifies Civic Reinvention": 

Formidable Fort Worth will soon offer river boat tours on the Trinity River.

River boat tours coming to Trinity River

Trinity River Cruises

_____________________

The first link goes to an informative article about Fort Worth's River Boat tours, whilst the second link goes to an online forum all about Fort Worth architecture (and related subjects, such as River Boat tours).

I have experienced the "insights" of those participating in the Fort Worth Architecture Forum in past years. Seems like at least a decade ago I saw some in that forum participating in sort of complaining about me characterizing the Trinity River Vision as being a Boondoggle. This was even before the slow motion building of three simple little bridges over dry land added one more bizarre element to the ongoing growing Boondoggle.

The informative article about Fort Worth's River Boat tours is in the Fort Worth Business Press. I don't quite know what to make of the FWBP's slant in this article. Did they decide to just leave it to the readers to see the absurdity without pointedly pointing it out?

Who knows?

But, let's go through this article about River boat tours coming to Trinity River and see what we think about what we are reading.

Okay, the first paragraph...

Landlocked Fort Worth may seem an unlikely place for scenic boat tours but that’s about to happen as soon as next month.

Scenic boat tours? Scenic? The Trinity River in Fort Worth only becomes remotely scenic when it leaves the downtown zone and gets to Gateway Park, leaving the levees and dams behind. But that is not where these scenic boat tours are gonna float.

And then this...

Beginning in mid-July, Waco River Safari boat tours will launch Panther Island Boat Tours with several types of river cruises from Panther Island Pavilion north of downtown Fort Worth.

Boat tours? Of what? The imaginary island? Launching from the imaginary pavilion on the imaginary island?  Several types of cruises? Cruises? Seems like only yesterday I joked about wondering how long it was gonna be before J.D. Granger and his Confederacy of Dunces added Cruise Ships to their imaginary lake and canals.

And then this...

Shanna Cate, director of the programming and development for the TRWD, said boat tours offer another opportunity for residents and visitors to interact with the Trinity.

Okay, Shanna Cate is the TRVA employee with whom J.D. Granger conducted an extra marital affair, for years, to the chagrin and disgust of multiple TRVA employees, which is how I came to know of J.D.'s Shanna shenanigans.

In the past year, the TRWD general manager, Jim Oliver, acting like that guy in Casablanca shocked about gambling at Rick's, claimed not to have known of this particular instance of workplace inappropriateness, but that once it was known, Shanna Cate was moved out from under J.D. Granger, well, removed from working directly in the TRVA, with another position created for her as the director of programming and development. Also known as party planner.

And now we see a result of Shanna Cate's new position, programming the development of River Tours cruising on the scenic Trinity River.

On a related Shanna Cate note, I thought she was now Shanna Granger. Or did the nuptials between Cate and Granger not take place on that island in the Caribbean last winter as planned? I have heard no details of that event from my on site source known as Deep Moat, who was planning on attending the nuptials. Or is the newest Mrs. Granger going by her maiden name so as to not make so obvious this latest instance of TRWD nepotism?

And then this gem directly from Shanna Cate, with a level of unbelievable numbskullery similar to her former boss, and possible new husband...

“We’re heard so many requests from people who want to be on the water for a leisurely activity with no swimsuit or paddle required,” Cate said. “This will be a perfect complement to our other river activities.”

Oh yes, that is so totally believable. Many requests from people who want to be on the Trinity River without having to touch that nasty polluted water. Is there a record of these requests? Were they made by phone, email, or direct contact? Oh yes, River Boat tours are an obvious complement to their other river activities.

And what would those be? Other than rockin' the muddy river on inner tubes?

We will combine several paragraphs which detail the nature of these imaginary river cruises, including the River Boat tour cruise fares...

The tours will offer some informational and historic perspective about Fort Worth as well as the opportunity to see downtown and other parts of the city from a different perspective, Helm said. The night tour will focus on city lights, he said. The tours will take passengers along parts of the Clear and West forks of the Trinity. “Experiences are vital for residents to offer their out-of-town guests,” Mitch Whitten, executive vice president of Visit Fort Worth. “We encourage all visitors to stay longer and experience more of Fort Worth. “

“This will offer our residents a whole new way to connect with our waterway and learn more about Fort Worth’s natural surroundings,” Rebecca Montgomery, senior vice president of advocacy for the chamber, said in a statement. “The new cruises will be an unique attraction unlike anything else in the region.”

Helm said the goal is to run as many as 10 tours per day on weekends, provided the river is not at flood level. Hour-long tours will cost $15 for adults, $9 for children and $3 for toddlers. Relaxing, two-hour sunset cruises will cost $39 per person and include the option of a meal for additional cost. BYOB will be available on these cruises.

Oh my, these river boat tours will be offering information and historic perspective about Fort Worth. Will they float by the ruins of America's Biggest Boondoggle? Giving the floaters a look at those unfinished bridges? Oh yes, one can easily see how floating on the Trinity River will be giving people an opportunity for a different perspective on Fort Worth. You know, seeing how tacky the town is from a new angle. When they cruise under the Main Street Paddock Bridge will river boaters be able to see the boarded up Heritage Park eyesore as part of their historic perspective on the Fort Worth reality?

So, floating on the river will connect people with Fort Worth's waterway, which as it slow flows through downtown Fort Worth is pretty much a glorified ditch, with multiple dams slowing the natural flow.

These cruises will be a unique attraction unlike anything else in the region? Well, that is probably true. Is there any other town in the region which would instigate something so stupid? Just like no other town in the region was so stupid as to instigate a wakeboard park, which at the time it was foisted on Fort Worth it was also touted with ridiculous hyperbole, much of it from Shanna Cate's husband, or boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend. We just do not know the status of that relationship.

Well, those sure seem like reasonable prices to charge people for the privilege of a river cruise in a scenic wonderland. That night cruise where one gets to see the lights of the stunning skyline of beautiful downtown Fort Worth, that will likely be a real people pleaser for the town's few tourists.

And let's end with one final gem from Shanna Cates...

Cate said the river cruises are already popular entertainment options in Austin, San Antonio and Oklahoma City.

What do popular river cruises in Austin, San Antonio and Oklahoma City have to do with Fort Worth having River Boat tours on a waterway like the Trinity River? I have seen those three other town's water features. Austin has several. San Antonio's is world famous. And Oklahoma City's Bricktown is of a sort Fort Worth aspires to, but is too inept to actualize.

I recollect when I first saw OKC's Bricktown it was still being developed. A HUGE sign touted the bond measure which financed the project. I believe the dollar figure was well over a billion bucks. Imagine that, local voters voting to raise funds to build something the entire community benefits from, and not relying on federal welfare to do so. Or the hiring of an ineptly unqualified local congresswoman's son to run the project, to motivate mom to try and secure federal funds.

Pathetic, pitiful, and sad.

When will this Trinity River Vision madness end? 

Where In The PNW Are David, Theo & Ruby?

PNW is a short way to say Pacific Northwest, for those who for some reason do not know this. When I saw the photo above which came with that PNW question my first thought was that David, Theo & Ruby must have taken their parental units to the other side of the mountains, also known as Eastern Washington, to some location on the Columbia River. But the beach and the driftwood did not look quite right to be the Columbia River.

And then a second photo arrived with text suggesting that "maybe this view would help".

And with this help I did manage to accurately guess that David, Ruby & Theo were somewhere on the Puget Sound, most likely, maybe, Point Defiance.

And then three more photos arrived, with explanatory text which solved the location mystery...

So I’ll tell you cuz I don’t think you’ll figure it out. We walked from Owen beach at Point Defiance all the way around the tip until we could see the Narrows bridge. It was amazing. We heard that there’s a big drop off where seals hang out and people had recently seen Orcas like ten feet off the beach feeding on the seals. We didn’t see whales but those are seals behind David. I counted 31. You have to do this at low tide and we checked the tide table today and it was a minus tide this afternoon so we hustled over there. So awesome, even with no whales. In the family selfie, you can see the bridge to the right of Kristin’s head. In the pic of me and the kids up high, that’s Vashon sticking out behind us.

That's David with the flock of seals in the water behind him.

I think I can sort of see one of the towers of the twin Tacoma Narrows Suspension bridges to the right of Kristin's curls.

According to the information provided, that is Vashon sticking out into the Sound from the middle of the big rock on which David, Theo, Ruby & Michele are posing.

To those unfamiliar with such things, such as denizens of Fort Worth, Texas, Vashon is what is known as an island, as in its full name is Vashon Island. This is a real island, surrounded by real water of the crystal clear saltwater variety, not an imaginary island which may be one day surrounded by a cement lined ditch.

One can take a ferry boat from Point Defiance to Vashon Island.

So far the ridiculous Fort Worth absurdity which has become America's Biggest Boondoggle has not added ferry boat service to the imaginary wonders of the imaginary project. Though there is a Houseboat District in the Panther Island District of the Trinity River Central City Uptown Panther Island District Vision.

And just this week touring tiny cruise ships have been added as a possibility for floating on the Trinity River, in addition to inner tubing whilst Rockin' the River in polluted brown soup. I've had multiple people point me to the info about those Trinity River touring tiny cruise ships. Maybe I'll get around to looking closer at that new ridiculousness.

And then one final photo arrived...

With the text telling us "Wore this one out! We stopped to get some fresh local strawberries on our way home but Theo had fallen asleep!"

I focused on the fresh local strawberries element of the above. I can not remember when last I had a strawberry which actually tasted like a strawberry. There is a farm near Wichita Falls, I think the name is Young's Farm, but I am not sure. Just a sec, I shall consult Google.

Well, I was close. It is Young's Orchard & Berry Farm.

I have had their blackberries, in cobbler form, at the Wichita Falls Farmers Market. And those blackberries were good. So, I suspect the Young's Orchard & Berry Farm strawberries are likely mighty fine too.

I wonder if the season for picking them is over?

And I also wonder where in the PNW David, Theo & Ruby will be taking us to next?

There has been some mention made of checking out Tacoma's new Dune Peninsula development after its grand opening on July 6,  before David, Theo & Ruby fly their parental units to San Diego for some fun in the sun dodging Pacific Ocean stingrays with Aunt Jackie and Uncle Jack, while their favorite uncle is in Arizona having fun with Grandma...