The Shadow Of The Tandy Hills Fat Man On The 2nd Day Of The New Year

I hauled my bloated carcass to the Tandy Hills today, parked on top of Mount Tandy. I was optimistic that the hills had dried out and were no longer muddy.

As is way too often the case, my optimism had no basis in reality.

Too much mud was quickly adding too many inches to my height.

I don't know what the deal was with the sun and the shadow today, but it appears I have gained a lot of weight since I last saw the formerly thin shadow of the Tandy Hills Thin Man.

Once I realized I'd picked up some mud, I decided to continue on, since the damage was already done. I had a fairly brisk hike. During most of it I was talking to Tootsie Tonasket, who had gotten me on the phone on the way to the Hills. Tootsie invited me over for Key Lime Pie.

And after that, Aunt Alice invited me over for ham cooked in ginger ale. I don't know if that sounds good, or not.

I realized, whilst navigating the mud, that today is exactly one year since the Tandy Hills Manly Men & Wild Women Hike. An event where about 100 hikers were strung out for miles on the Tandy Hills.

The Queen of Wink and Princess Annie drove all the way from their realm in West Texas in order to hike the Manly Men/Wild Women Hike. However, the hiking soon proved too strenuous for the Queen, when she developed a serious case of the vapors.

To recover from the vapors I drove to Arlington, to Sweet Tomatoes, where we found food. If I remember right, I then drove back to the Tandy Hills with the Queen of Wink and Princess Annie driving off into the sunset. Almost never to be seen again.

A year goes by so fast. And yet so much happens and changes during the course of a year. I'm looking forward to 2012. It's only about 364 days away.

The Dawn Of January 2 Thinking About Fort Worth's City-Wide TCU Rose Bowl Victory Celebration

This morning we are looking at the dawn of January 2 of 2011 from Miss Puerto's freezing balcony.

It is only 23 degrees this morning. That's cold.

Very cold.

I learned this morning that Fort Worth's TCU football team won the Rose Bowl.

Ten years ago I don't think anyone could have thought of a way the above sentence could possibly make sense.

I read this morning, in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, we will be having a city-wide celebration to celebrate TCU's stunning Rose Bowl victory.

We have not had a city-wide celebration here in Fort Worth for years. Not since some obscure Washington, D.C. lobbying group picked Fort Worth as one of the Top Ten Most Livable Communities in America.

I do not know, yet, how the city-wide TCU Victory celebration will manifest itself. Will Fort Worth Mayor Mike Moncrief make another attempt to dye the Trinity River purple?

I have no idea what this Sunday, 2nd day of the New Year, has in store for me. All I can rule out is I am almost 100% certain I will not be going to church.

A New Year's Day Walk Around Fosdic Lake Thinking About Fort Worth's TCU Beating Wisconsin In The Rose Bowl.

You are looking at Fosdic Lake in Oakland Lake Park in Fort Worth, Texas a little after noon on the first day of the New Year of 2011.

Usually on the first day of a New Year you see a lot of people in the parks getting on with their New Year's Resolution to live a more healthy lifestyle.

It was not all that many degrees above freezing today, and a wind was blowing, both factors which, I think, made it cold enough for some to postpone the start of their New Year's Resolution.

That and there are football games on TV today.

I got a call on my way to Fosdic Lake and during the course of that call I was asked if I knew what time the Rose Bowl game started.

I had no idea. I am not a football fan. I don't get what can be so interesting about watching a football game that causes people to watch them, over and over and over again. Endless variations of the same theme is what those games look like to me.

But, much, much, much more watchable than the version of football the rest of the world plays, that version of football that Americans call soccer.

The person asking me if I was watching the Rose Bowl seemed to be shocked when I said no, I won't be watching. But, Fort Worth is playing in the Rose Bowl, I was told.

Huh? The Rose Bowl is a game that goes back way into ancient times, where the top team in the Pac-10 plays the top team in the Big-10. Teams like Washington, Oregon, California, Stanford, Arizona, UCLA, playing teams like Michigan.

I was told that TCU from Fort Worth is playing Wisconsin. In the Rose Bowl. Today.

I tell you, Fort Worth playing in the Rose Bowl is just one more sign that our world has gone totally mad.

I looked it up. #3 TCU plays #5 Wisconsin, in the Rose Bowl, at 4:30 ET 3:30 CT. Today.

Now that I know there is a Fort Worth connection to the Rose Bowl, just try and stop me from watching.

Happy New Year From Texas

I am up after the sun, looking out a frosty 29 degree window at this first day of the New Year of 2011, which appears to have dawned with a bright blue clear sky.

I was greeted this morning with a message sent from Long Beach from the Scrabble Queen of Washington, telling me they got their razor clam limits on the last day of the Old Year and were having oysters from Wilkie Bay, crab cocktails and razor clams for their New Year's Eve dinner.

The Long Beach part made me homesick for the sound of big waves crashing on to a Pacific beach. And that seafood make my want seafood. I do not know where the nearest razor clam is in my current location, landlocked deep in the Heart of Texas.

My New Year's Eve Party went well. I was back in my domicile before the start of the New Year. I'm not a big fan of the whole ringing in the New Year thing. It really is just another day, with the calendar just an arbitrary passage of time recording device.

Well, it is time for my first swim of the New Year. It'll be a cold one.

The New Year's Eve Shadow Of The Tandy Hills Thin Man

You are looking at the long skinny shadow of the ever more skinny shadow of the Tandy Hills Thin Man, today around noon.

I thought we were scheduled for clouds and rain today. Apparently I thought wrong.

The Tandy Hills were still being a bit tacky, mud-wise, so I cut the hiking a little short. I was not liking mud sticking to my shoes. That and my right foot pain was paining me. It is getting better though.

Earlier today I blogged about the BIG Box I got from my mom and dad this morning. It was full of oranges.

That blogging rose Nick Beef from the dead to make a comment.

Nick Beef is the headstone next to Lee Harvey Oswald in Rose Hill Memorial Burial Park in my neighborhood of east Fort Worth.

I do not believe Nick Beef is actually buried next to Lee Harvey. I believe Nick Beef bought the plot as some sort of publicity stunt.

And now, on the day before 2011, Nick Beef is still doing the publicity stunt thing, commenting on my blog. I'm sure this will get Nick unprecedented publicity.

After I was done getting stuck in the Tandy Hills mud I headed to Town Talk. Not knowing if it was open. It was.

Even though I'd just gotten a shipment of citrus from Arizona, from my mom and dad, I got myself a big bag of Cuties for only a buck. Among other things.

I think MLK or MBK or both, may be right. My unfortunate weight gain might be traceable to Town Talk. I know having Town Talk in my life has amped up my access to a lot of different cheeses. And chips. Something I don't usually buy.

But.

For example, today, for 50 cents, Town Talk had All Natural Cheddar Tortilla Chips made with Cheddar Cheese, Quinoa, Soy, Flax, Sunflower, Sesame Seeds, Oat Fiber and Brown Rice. Made by some chip maker called Food Should Taste Good.

And I am sure it will. And be good for me. And not make me fat.

I will likely take a bag or two to my New Year's Eve Party. Due to start soon. See you there.

A BIG Box From Arizona In The New Year's Eve Mail

When I went to check the mailbox this morning I was surprised to find a BIG box. From my mom and dad. A very heavy box on which they spent a small fortune to mail. Whatever was inside was heavy and shifted around when I moved the box.

Jars of raspberry jam was my first thought. I figured, due to the weight and how I could tell it was small items rolling around, that no clothing items were inside.

My one longtime reader may remember that on Christmas I opened a box from my mom and dad to find some shirts and shorts that were a tad too small for me. When my mom asked if they fit I basically said I needed to go on a diet.

Which I am now on. I am making rapid progress towards being able to comfortably wear the shirts and shorts I got from mom and dad this Christmas.

So, a few minutes ago I opened the fresh, incoming BIG box. And what did I find...

Oranges, lemons, grapefruit and a shirt. Size Large. It fits. But not so much so that it will be baggy when I fit into the shirt and shorts that are currently not baggy.

This is my first Arizona citrus since mom and dad delivered a lot of lemons, oranges and grapefruit, almost two years ago, when they were here the first week of 2009.

Previous to that, I hauled Arizona citrus back to Texas myself, in April of 2006, direct from Phoenix, where my mom overloaded my carry on backpack with oranges. This created a very entertaining debacle when I went through security, losing my cell phone in the mayhem.

I know some of you reading this are thinking to yourself that I am awful lucky to have such a nice mom and dad.

You would be correct in thinking that. I am way luckier than you could possibly know.

The Warm Early Morning Of New Year's Eve In Texas After A Night Of Nightmares

As you can see, looking out the window, I am up way before the dawn of the last day of 2010.

The last day of 2010, in Texas, is already semi-warm, as in 62 degrees, according to my AccuWeather temperature measurer.

Apparently rain is on the schedule for today, with incoming freezing, starting the first day of the New Year.

I had myself some fun nightmaring last night. Including one where I watched two hoodlums breaking into my vehicle. I was helpless to stop them.

Soon after that I was riding my bike, fast, pedaling past Betty Jo Bouvier, who was in her yard, pulling weeds. I turned a corner and was at my house, which seemed to be my sister's house in Kent, sort of gone to seed. Parked beside my sister's house was my cousin Scott, in a Volkswagen bug.

I found this very disturbing. I've not seen cousin Scott since 2002. I was instantly perplexed, in my nightmare, as to why he was parked by my house, which really wasn't my house. And his presence was stopping me from heading back to Betty Jo Bouvier's to help her pull weeds.

The last I paid any attention to cousin Scott was a couple years ago, when he retired from the Seattle Times. He then took a cross-country trip in his Mustang convertible, going from the most northwesterly point in Lower 48 of America to the furthest distance to the southeast. Which meant cousin Scott started his trip at Cape Flattery on the Washington Olympic Peninsula, reaching his final goal at Key West, Florida. Visiting every one of his relatives along the way.

Except for me.

Cousin Scott had an aversion to driving through much of Texas, so he sort of skirted this state via Oklahoma, only entering Texas somewhere near Paris, quickly escaping to Arkansas, and avoiding me. I was able to follow cousin Scott's progression back and forth across America via his Scott's on the Road blog.

So, tomorrow starts the New Year of 2011. I think it will be a very good year. I think that, pretty much, at the start of every New Year, demented optimist that I am.

I am hoping to go hiking on the Tandy Hills today. One last time in 2010. If the rain does not arrive too soon.

The City Of Fort Worth's Personal Ad: I Am Fort Worth & I Am Looking For Someone To Love Me

Earlier today, on my Washington Blog, I blogged about an amusing article in the Seattle P-I in which the article writer conjured up a personal ad for the City of Seattle based on the various lists, rankings and polls that had Seattle on them, to varying degrees of it being a good or bad thing.

Seattle's Personal Ad went like this...

"Even though I'm getting up there in years (I was born in 1869), I'd like to find a young companion. A college student, maybe. Don't let my age fool you; I've been told I'm pretty cool and fairly romantic. I've also been told I need to work on my personal appearance, but I'd rather read a book than pick out clothes. Our first date probably wouldn't be too extravagant, and we'd probably have to take the bus. (I'm not a good driver, and bad traffic only makes things worse.) We'd probably go for coffee, or maybe to the nation's best cocktail bar. Or maybe we'll just read a book. Did I mention I like to read? You should know I'm especially good with men and extremely gay-friendly."

Fort Worth's Personal Ad goes like this...

"Even though I have been around for parts of 3 centuries I am quite immature in many ways. I have a big brother who I have always been envious of. He sort of dominates me. I've always felt like no one notices me. However, I have been told I am very easy to live with. I don't like to read, am a bit overweight, oh, all right, I'll be honest. I'm fat. I'm not the prettiest thing to look at, a little rough around the edges. Let's just say my infrastructure could use some work. I don't require indoor plumbing. I don't mind outhouses. Did I already mention I don't like to read? I also do not like to exercise. I do like fried food, donuts, catfish and anything BBQed. I can take you out to the world's biggest honky tonk. I do have some self esteem issues. I have been known to give away favors in exchange for promises that are never delivered. I have had more holes drilled in me than any other place in America. I'm a very cheap date. Really easy to bribe. I'll do just about anything for you if you dangle the right amount of cash in front of me. Did I mention I don't like to read?"

Okay. That was fun....

In Texas With Theodore Ryan & Ruby Jean Jones

You are looking at the twins, Theodore Ryan and Ruby Jean, born, I think, 2 weeks ago. In the Washington town that goes by the name of Tacoma.

The Jones Twins look awfully tiny to me.

The twins were sent to me, in Texas, via email.

I have not been informed, currently, what exactly is my relationship to TR & RJ. I know I share no genetic connection. However, that just seems like a technicality. Having the same last name cements the relationship deal.

I'm sure that's how it works.

I remember the last time I held a baby in my arms. It was sometime in the spring of 2000, in Mount Vernon, Washington. I held the baby for about a half a minute when it threw up all over me. Those watching the baby throw up all over me found it amusing. I did not.

The last time I tried to change a baby diaper was sometime in 1981. I was baby sitting my nephew Jason. His diaper needed changing. These were old-fashioned diapers, not those new-fangled Pamper things.

I laid my nephew down on newspapers and removed the bad diaper. I got the horrendous mess cleaned up, but then could not figure out how to install the replacement diaper. I called one of my roommates, at work, and she came home and finished the job for me.

Later that night, after Jason's parental units had picked him up and returned home, I got a call from my now ex-sister-in-law asking me why Jason had newsprint all over his butt. Said in a very accusatory tone.

And now here is more trivia.

The roommate who helped me change the diaper, way back in 1981, moved to Ada, Oklahoma one month before I moved to Texas. A little over two years after that a mutual friend from Washington flew in to D/FW. I drove her up to Ada the next day. I so clearly recollect sitting outside, up in Oklahoma, and remarking to my two other Washington natives, something like "if 20 years ago I had told the two of you that in 20 years hence we would be sitting under a pine tree in Oklahoma sipping wine, would either of you have been able to conceive of a scenario where that could possibly make sense?'

Neither could.

And now there is Theodore Ryan & Ruby Jean.

What a world.

So little of it I understand.

Jumping To The Ground & Jogging Through My Dangerous Fort Worth Neighborhood

You are with me looking down to the ground from about 30 feet in the air, looking through the bars of my patio prison cell.

No, I am not contemplating jumping.

What I was contemplating when this picture was taken was going jogging. And doing so in a novel, never before attempted way. As in go jogging right from my front door, rather than drive to a park to jog on trails.

I  am now back from this experiment. On the plus side, it saved time to not drive anywhere. On the non-plus side, I like jogging in a park better than sidewalks with cars in close proximity.

And my chronic aching right foot woe came back, which contributed to the jogging not being what I'd call a huge success.

It was warm enough to do the jogging in shorts and t-shirt. I currently have my windows open, due to the fact that I did jog enough to get a bit overheated.

Windows open on December 30. I do not remember this being doable in my previous Decembers in Texas.

This morning I blogged on my Washington Blog about an amusing thing I read in the Seattle P-I. That being an article that used the various lists, rankings and polls on which Seattle appeared in 2010 to compile what a City of Seattle Personal Ad would be like.

This had me wondering if I had enough creative juice to conjure up what a City of Fort Worth Personal Ad would be like.

This might be difficult to conjure due to the fact that Fort Worth does not show up on all that many of those type lists. And the ones it does show up on are usually not all that flattering.

Or it is some bogus thing.

Like a D.C. lobbying group, naming Fort Worth as one of the Ten Most Livable Communities in America. Which had Fort Worth, without looking too closely at the validity of the 'award,' having a city-wide celebration to celebrate this tremendous honor, while other, more informed places, like Tacoma and Pierce County, politely said thank you and then ignored it. With no city-wide celebration.

I'll see if I can come up with a City of Fort Worth Personal Ad. Later today. If I have the energy.