The City Of Fort Worth's Personal Ad: I Am Fort Worth & I Am Looking For Someone To Love Me

Earlier today, on my Washington Blog, I blogged about an amusing article in the Seattle P-I in which the article writer conjured up a personal ad for the City of Seattle based on the various lists, rankings and polls that had Seattle on them, to varying degrees of it being a good or bad thing.

Seattle's Personal Ad went like this...

"Even though I'm getting up there in years (I was born in 1869), I'd like to find a young companion. A college student, maybe. Don't let my age fool you; I've been told I'm pretty cool and fairly romantic. I've also been told I need to work on my personal appearance, but I'd rather read a book than pick out clothes. Our first date probably wouldn't be too extravagant, and we'd probably have to take the bus. (I'm not a good driver, and bad traffic only makes things worse.) We'd probably go for coffee, or maybe to the nation's best cocktail bar. Or maybe we'll just read a book. Did I mention I like to read? You should know I'm especially good with men and extremely gay-friendly."

Fort Worth's Personal Ad goes like this...

"Even though I have been around for parts of 3 centuries I am quite immature in many ways. I have a big brother who I have always been envious of. He sort of dominates me. I've always felt like no one notices me. However, I have been told I am very easy to live with. I don't like to read, am a bit overweight, oh, all right, I'll be honest. I'm fat. I'm not the prettiest thing to look at, a little rough around the edges. Let's just say my infrastructure could use some work. I don't require indoor plumbing. I don't mind outhouses. Did I already mention I don't like to read? I also do not like to exercise. I do like fried food, donuts, catfish and anything BBQed. I can take you out to the world's biggest honky tonk. I do have some self esteem issues. I have been known to give away favors in exchange for promises that are never delivered. I have had more holes drilled in me than any other place in America. I'm a very cheap date. Really easy to bribe. I'll do just about anything for you if you dangle the right amount of cash in front of me. Did I mention I don't like to read?"

Okay. That was fun....

Jumping To The Ground & Jogging Through My Dangerous Fort Worth Neighborhood

You are with me looking down to the ground from about 30 feet in the air, looking through the bars of my patio prison cell.

No, I am not contemplating jumping.

What I was contemplating when this picture was taken was going jogging. And doing so in a novel, never before attempted way. As in go jogging right from my front door, rather than drive to a park to jog on trails.

I  am now back from this experiment. On the plus side, it saved time to not drive anywhere. On the non-plus side, I like jogging in a park better than sidewalks with cars in close proximity.

And my chronic aching right foot woe came back, which contributed to the jogging not being what I'd call a huge success.

It was warm enough to do the jogging in shorts and t-shirt. I currently have my windows open, due to the fact that I did jog enough to get a bit overheated.

Windows open on December 30. I do not remember this being doable in my previous Decembers in Texas.

This morning I blogged on my Washington Blog about an amusing thing I read in the Seattle P-I. That being an article that used the various lists, rankings and polls on which Seattle appeared in 2010 to compile what a City of Seattle Personal Ad would be like.

This had me wondering if I had enough creative juice to conjure up what a City of Fort Worth Personal Ad would be like.

This might be difficult to conjure due to the fact that Fort Worth does not show up on all that many of those type lists. And the ones it does show up on are usually not all that flattering.

Or it is some bogus thing.

Like a D.C. lobbying group, naming Fort Worth as one of the Ten Most Livable Communities in America. Which had Fort Worth, without looking too closely at the validity of the 'award,' having a city-wide celebration to celebrate this tremendous honor, while other, more informed places, like Tacoma and Pierce County, politely said thank you and then ignored it. With no city-wide celebration.

I'll see if I can come up with a City of Fort Worth Personal Ad. Later today. If I have the energy.