Corruption in Fort Worth, Texas?

You non-Texans, I'm going to be writing about Fort Worth here. So, you might want to look away if you don't want to be freshly appalled at how different things are here than how your city and state operates.

Fort Worth started as a Fort. That is sort of obvious. What isn't so obvious is that Fort Worth is run by what amounts to being a Ruling Junta, with little accountability to the good citizens of Fort Worth.

A few years ago it was discovered that natural gas, in shale form, known as the Barnett Shale, was underneath much of north Texas, including Fort Worth. Prior to the drilling beginning, Fort Worth's Ruling Junta installed an oilman named Mike Moncrief as Mayor of Fort Worth. That is Mike Moncrief behind bars in the photo.

Mike Moncrief is a millionaire. He has holdings in all the drilling companies that have been and continue knocking holes in the ground all over Fort Worth.

Last year Mayor Mike Moncrief made an estimated $633,000.00 from his various oil and gas deals.

Now, in pretty much any jurisdiction in the rest of America a mayor would recuse himself from having a say in any public policy matter that affected his holdings. In the rest of the nation this is what is known as a conflict of interest.

In Fort Worth it is known as the status quo.

In a bizarre case of one of the foxes saying the hen house is safe, Fort Worth's Ruling Junta's mouthpiece, that being City Attorney David Yett, said Moncrief's gas and oils deals are not a conflict of interest because no single one of his deals amounts to more than 10% of Moncrief's total income.

Huh?

Moncrief's wife also benefits from all the gas drilling by owning her own stock in one of the drilling companies called XTO.

Fort Worth's Ruling Junta continues to approve of new drilling operations, one of the latest being Chesapeake Energy will be drilling under the heart of downtown Fort Worth thanks to the Bass Family selling them the drilling rights to the parking lots known as Sundance Square.

I don't know what the Mayor of Fort Worth's cut will work out to be for the Sundance Square wells.

And on a totally different, yet related subject. Did you know that these gas wells sometimes blow up? Watch this video of a well explosion 30 miles west of my abode. I saw the smoke plume from this one.

American Idol Final Two

Currently, of my thousands of readers, 69% want me to continue bashing the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, while 61% want me to complain more about TV. Today I'm going to combine the two.

Last night got down to the final two on America's #1 TV show, that being American Idol. The pre-season hype had it that this year's talent was the best ever. But, for me, week by week those left just kept seeming smaller and smaller and weaker and weaker.

By the end it was down to 2 guys and a girl.

The girl had a tendency to shriek, but she did know how to work a stage. I don't remember how to spell the last girl's first name. It starts with an 's' and sounds something like Sigh-eesh-ya. I think the last name is Mercado.

One of the guy's has been pimped to win from the start, that being this really little 17 year old from Utah named David Archeletta. I started off liking him okay, but by the end his shtick had grown old. Apparently he had daddy issues with his dad getting banned from backstage due to causing problems for the little guy. Early on David A. had a tendency to lick his lips while singing that was very Bill Clintonesque. Somehow his trainers got him to stop doing that.

The other guy is also named David. Last name Cook. When I first saw him he reminded me of one of my runty homely cousins. A couple months ago I asked my sister if David Cook reminded her of anyone. She said, yeah, our runty homely cousin (I'm leaving off the name so as to not cause yet one more family feud).

One of the things that can be interesting to see on American Idol is when they make someone over. Like when they turned Clay Aiken from looking like a nerd to not looking so much like a nerd. He was still a nerd though. This year the Mercado girl got greatly made over. And so did the one who used to look like my runty homely cousin. He doesn't look like my runty homely cousin anymore.

This will be my last season of watching American Idol. The amusement/entertainment factor ain't there anymore. I've also bailed on Dancing with the Stars. Also, no more Desperate Housewives. It had grown tiresome and not funny. LOST I watch on the computer because it's in HD and only 42 minutes long without the commercials. I don't even watch The Simpsons anymore. That used to be my favorite. Maybe I am losing my sense of humor. Or I've developed AADD.

Oh. One more thing. At the top I said this would be a combined TV and Bash the Star-Telegram missive. On to the Star-Telegram. And this is also TV related. On the TV page, in the Channel Surfing column we are given yet again the all important how is Texas connected to a show info.

This time it's "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire: Root for the home team as Fort Worth's Kyle Knelp, a University of Texas at Arlington senior, goes for the big money."

I can't wait til tonight so I can do some rooting for the home team.

World's Tallest Cow Not Texan

I was shocked, shocked I tell you, to learn this afternoon that the World's Tallest Cow is not a Texan. It's not even an American. It's a Brit. A UK cow named Chili.

Chili stands 6 feet 6 inches tall in his bare feet. That is taller than me in my bare feet.

Currently Chili's tall status is not official. The Guinness people are investigating.

Chili weighs over a ton. That is 5,510 8 oz. steaks or 11,020 McDonald's Quarter Pounders. He is a black and white Friesian steer. I'm not all that farm familiar, but I'm fairly certain that a steer has had his gender neutralized, so, I'm thinking that would make Chili no longer a he, I guess 'it' would be more appropriate.

The UK is smaller than Texas. It almost seems some sort of state disgrace for Texas not to have the world's tallest cow.

Currently the largest cow on record is American. A Holstein-Durham named Mount Katahdin. That cow stood 6 feet 2 inches with a girth of 13 feet. I'm not sure what a girth is. Mount Katahdin died in 1923. Seems odd that in all those years, til now, no cow has grown taller than Mount Katahdin.

Surely, somewhere in Texas there must be a cow taller than 6 feet 6 inches. Let the search begin.

UPDATE: A Texan has now claimed to have discovered the Tallest Cow in the World.

Sweetwater Rattlesnake Roundup

Yes, I know I've mentioned this West Texas festival before. And that it's been 2 months, or so, since this year's roundup occurred. But, I bring this up again because I found a very amusing video of the 2008 Sweetwater Rattlesnake Roundup. Unlike my video of this same event, in this new video the focus is on what goes on outside the building where the rattlesnakes are displayed. This new video focuses on the Texans who attend this event. Although you do see some snake whacking and skinning at the end.

I have long wanted to make a similar video, but my fear of someone getting the urge to beat me up has inhibited me from doing so. Perhaps I will now work up the courage to park in the Super Wal-Mart parking lot for a couple hours taking video of the variously sized, variously dressed Texans I see coming and going.

If you want to see my video of what goes on with the rattlesnakes at the Sweetwater Roundup, go here. Skip that if you like, but be sure and watch the video below. It's funny. Gar the Texan is from West Texas. These are his people. I think I saw some mullets.

The Tony Award Nominations

This isn't actually really totally about the Tony Award Nominations which were announced yesterday.

Extensive polling of my thousands of readers indicates that 66% of those polled want me to continue bashing the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

So, even though it is like shooting fish in a barrel and grows tiresome, I'm all about being obliging. And tiresome.

One would think that any and all newspapers in America today would have an article about the Tony Award Nominations. How am I to know what play to see if I'm in New York City next month?

The Fort Worth Star-Telegram did not have an article with a list of nominations.

Instead, on the Live! page in the "People Watch" column under the heading "Tony time" we get the following embarrassing typical Star-Telegram goofy nonsense.

"The 2008 Tony nominations were announced Tuesday morning, and the most nominated show, the Latin/hip-hop musical In the Heights was produced by none other than Fort Worth native Mike Skipper, a Richland High School and Texas Wesleyan University graduate. He lives in Graham (Texas), where he is part-owner of the Wildcatter Ranch & Resort. For a complete list of Tony nominees, visit our Pop Culture District blog at star-telegram.com/blogs"

So, this highly fascinating Texas connection is worth putting in the hard copy version of this lame paper, but the actual Tony Award nominations get relegated to a blog.

Meanwhile, according to the Star-Telegram's Channel Surfing column on the TV page we learn that Ross Matthews, aka Ross the Intern on the Tonight Show, will be on Days of Our Lives today.

No. Ross Matthews is not from Texas. He is from my hometown of Mount Vernon, Washington. I looked at my hometown paper and the TV section felt no need to repeat to its readers something along the line of "Mount Vernon native and Mount Vernon High School graduate, Ross Matthews, will be on Days of Our Lives today."

Mount Vernon has a population of less than 30,000. Fort Worth is approaching a population of 700,000. Which town exhibits the small townish mentality? I'll let you decide.

And then on the Letter to the Editor page we get yet one more disgruntled reader bashing the Star-Telegram. This letter writer/paper reader was vexed by a long article in the Star-Telegram devoted to cheerleading at Carrol High School with the first sentence being "Which is sillier: cheerleading at Carrol High School or the Star-Telegram devoting ever more space to it?"

Now, don't forget to watch Days of Our Lives today. Mount Vernon's own, Ross Matthews, native son and MVHS graduate stars in a bit part that will last a few seconds. So, don't blink or you may miss it.

James Garner, Stroke at 80

I was surprised to learn this morning that one of my all time favorite actors, James Garner, is now 80 years old. He suffered a mild stroke on May 9, followed by surgery May 11. Prognosis good.

James Garner being 80 makes me feel very old. In my mind's eye he's a young guy. His Rockford Files TV series is one of my all time favorites. I'm not alone in that regard. The Rockford Files was where famed TV writer Stephen J. Cannell got his reputation for fine, sophisticated, funny writing with believable, real characters and complicated plots that made sense.

James Garner always reminded me of my dad. Tall, dark and handsome with an easy going way about him. Come to think of it, my dad is rapidly approaching 80. In very good health. He was out golfing on Mother's Day with my brother-in-law and nephew. I don't know how he got away with leaving my mom home alone on Mother's Day.

I'm hoping James Garner makes a full recovery and does yet one more Rockford Files TV Movie. I remember reading him say he can't do Rockford anymore due to not being able to run due to bad knees. Rockford in a wheelchair, rather than a Firebird might be amusing. It worked for Perry Mason.

The Fremont Solstice Naked Bike Parade

Yesterday or the day before I mentioned how things are a bit different up in Seattle than here in the D/FW Metroplex.

The Independent Republic of Fremont, in Seattle, has an annual event to celebrate the summer solstice.

Part of this event is a bike ride. Where bike riders are in various states of undress. This has been going on for 20 years and each year it's bigger than the year before.

I have never watched the Fremont Solstice Parade. I have been to Fremont. It's like visiting the former Soviet Union. Complete with statues of Lenin.

Below is video of last year's Fremont Solstice Naked Bike Parade. This year's parade is just a bit more than a month from now. In case you wanna go.

Hillary in West Virginia Primary

I grow tired of so many Democrats saying it's time for Hillary to give up. Neither she nor Obama will likely have enough delegates to win the nomination by the time the final primary closes.

So, what is so wrong with having an old-fashioned convention where the choice is made at the actual convention?

When Ford had more delegates than Reagan heading into the, I think, 1976 Republican Convention, I don't recollect there being cries for Reagan to drop out for the good of the party.

It's only been in recent times that there's this notion that it's to be all wrapped up by the time of the convention. That may be one reason why the conventions have not been as interesting in recent times.

What if it takes a dozen votes before Obama is finally chosen? What would be so bad about that?

The News Goons and Talking Heads would have such a fun time tracking defections and speculating about deals being made.

It would seem the Democrats would come out of the thing stronger, not weaker.

But, I don't really care about that. I just want to see an old-fashioned convention like the good old days. No Chicago type riots though, that would be a bad thing.

Tarzan and Jane Skinny Dipping

By the early 1930's Hollywood movies were really pushing the envelope with very adult content, both theme wise and nudity wise. The complaints from religious fanatics and worried mothers grew so numerous that a thing called the Hays Office was created to censor movies. Censorship lasted until the 1960s when the lid came off and we began down the path that led us to the vulgar state of too many of today's movies. And TV.

I'd long known there was a skinny dipping scene in Tarzan and his Mate. I did not know that Ted Turner restored the censored scene in 1986. In the infamous scene Tarzan throws Jane into a pond with her dress getting snagged on a tree branch, rendering Jane naked. Tarzan jumps after Jane. Tarzan and Jane then swim for quite a long time under water. An Olympic swimmer named Josephine McKim temporarily replaces Maureen O'Sullivan as Jane during the skinny dipping. With Maureen back being Jane she gets out of the water and has to tell Cheetah multiple times to "Give it to me, Give it to me." Cheetah holds her dress hostage while he laughs at her.

Watch the video to see what disturbed Depression Era religious fanatics. And prudish mothers.

Texas Tornado Hail Storm Video

On April 17, 2008 we had ourselves a fairly hellacious storm here in the Dallas/Fort Worth zone of Texas. This was the storm I whined about because it sent the local TV weather guys into non-stop all night long yammering. So, I didn't get to watch Survivor. The storm that had the weather guys in such a dither did not produce a tornado. Six days later another bad storm came along, once more during TV prime time. But this time the local TV did not go into Weather Drama Queen Mode. Yet that storm did produce a tornado which destroyed 4 homes in Crowley. Crowley is a suburb south of Fort Worth.

Back to the April 17 storm. There are these guys who are Tornado Chasers. They have a website called Tornadovideos.net. These guys were in their Storm Chase Vehicle near Weatherford, in the heart of the storm.

Watch the Tornado Chaser's video below and you will see just how hellacious these Texas storms are. At the start the Tornado Chasers are driving through the hail. Eventually they have to stop. The guys get out of their Storm Chase Vehicle and one gets whacked on the head by incoming hail. The hail keeps getting bigger and bigger til it's baseball size. The giant hail cracks their windshield. By the time the hail stops falling the ground is thickly covered with big hail balls that make it look like there has been a big snowfall.