Today I Learned I Would Rather Die Than Move From Artistic Fort Worth To Dallas

A blogging yesterday resulted in an interesting comment from someone with the gender neutral name of Anonymous...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "A Stormy August Sunday In Texas With Lightning Strikes, Thunder Booms & Wandering Birthday Cards":

Fort Worth, the tiny burg of family, food and Frogs and their fatuous fixation with Dallas:

10 Fort Worth Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

The link in the Anonymous comment went to a webpage on some sort of real estate entitie's website with that webpage listing 10 supposed Fort Worth Stereotypes. The list had a lot of typos and even more dubious claims, but, all in all, I found it amusing.

You can click the 10 Fort Worth Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate to read all ten stereotypes, plus some very amusing comments.  Below I have gleaned 8 of the 10 stereotypes, followed by me commenting about each stereotype and then some of the more choice comments....

1. Fort Worthers Would Rather Die Than Move To Dallas

Call Fort Worth a suburb of Dallas and, if looks could kill, you’d be dead in a Texas second. The only thing the two cities have in common is an airport that shares their names.

I currently live in Fort Worth. I would not rather die than move to Dallas. I like Dallas. Dallas reminds me of Seattle, except for the lack of scenery in Dallas.

3. Everyone In Fort Worth Is Fiercely Loyal To Kincaid’s Hamburgers

Kincaid’s is widely considered to be the best bite in Fort Worth and, dare we say it, possibly the entire Dallas Metroplex area. People in the Fort have enjoyed double cheeseburgers with everything and lemonades for generations.

Okay, in the number 1 stereotype the claim is that calling Fort Worth a Dallas suburb can get you a killing look, while in the #3 stereotype we refer to the "entire Dallas Metroplex area"?  Not Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex Area? Kincaid's is widely considered the best bite in Fort Worth? And all of D/FW? I have had two Kincaid's burgers during my over a decade stay in D/FW. I was not impressed. Not at all.

4. Fort Worthers Are All A Little Horny… When It Comes To Horned Frog Football, That Is

In Fort Worth they know to Fear the Frog and the will convince the rest of the nation just how intimidating they are the only way they know how—by fighting until hell freezes over then fighting on the ice.

Fort Worthers? The above contains a couple of the aforementioned typos. Convince the rest of the nation to fear the Fort Worth Frog? Really? I really hate to be the bearer  of sad tidings, but I  don't think the rest of the nation pays much attention to Fort Worth football.

5. People Here Are A Whole Different Breed Of Racing Fans

The Texas Motor Speedway is one of many badges of honor that Cowtowners take very seriously. Racing pride is all over town. You can find local’s favorite driver on bumper stickers, in windows and liberally applied across all apparel.

Fort Worth's racetrack is one of many badges of honor? Really? What are the other badges of honor? Cowtowners take their racetrack very seriously? With racing pride all over town? I have never noticed this racing pride all over town. The local's have a favorite driver? On their bumper stickers, windows and clothes? I am sure I would have noticed such a thing if it existed.

6. People From Fort Worth Are Fortified Authentic Texas

Talking to folks around Fort Worth is like taking a step into a time machine and waking up in the good old days when being down to earth friendly was standard and politeness was a virtue.

If the above is a subtle way of saying Fort Worth is a bit backwards, I guess I can agree with that stereotype.

7. Fort Worth Is Full Of Dare Devils

For all their laid-back qualities, Forters are as wild and untamed as the Western roots they hang their hats on. “Hey watch this” may as well be their motto because it gets dropped on the daily.

Forters? Again a typo renders the above a bit confusing. The only Fort Worth dare devils I can think of are those foolish enough to get wet in the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle's Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats.

8. And They’re Real Ropers

School is closed during the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo, not to pay tribute to all the hard-working cattle wranglers, but because otherwise everyone, faculty included, would be absent anyway. The event is legendary and every year about the time that talk of the last ride starts dying off the countdown for next year begins.

School is closed during the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo? Who knew? I really don't think this stereotyping stereotyper has actually been to the Fort Worth Stock Show if he or she actually thinks it to be anything legendary. While the State Fair of Texas, in Dallas, now I can see where one might, maybe, legitimately attach the legendary label to that event.

9. People In Fort Worth Are All Artists At Heart

Fort Worth boasts one of the world’s largest epicenters of the arts, and that is something that wouldn’t be possible without a huge community of avid art enthusiasts. Whether it’s frequenting the five iconic museums in the heart of the Cultural District or experiencing art first-hand at the Main Street Fort Worth Arts Fest, people in the Fort take supporting the arts to a whole new level.
Oh yes, I have seldom seen a big city with more of an artistic aesthetic than Fort Worth. Just look at the beautiful way Fort Worth landscapes the exits from its freeways, like the exits to the Fort Worth Stockyards, for instance. I really don't think any other big city in America landscapes exits to its tourists attractions in such an attractive manner as Fort Worth.

Then there is Heritage Park at the north end of downtown Fort Worth. That park is really representative of the Fort Worth artistic aesthetic.

Fort Worth boasts one of the world's largest epicenters of the arts? Why is this valuable information being kept from the rest of the world?

Five iconic museums? Again, I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but the only thing in Fort Worth which remotely approaches being iconic, as in recognized elsewhere, is the Fort Worth Stockyards sign, which sort of clues people in other parts of the world that this is in Fort Worth, due to the town's name being on the sign.

Five iconic museums? I doubt 95% of Fort Worth natives could name five of Fort Worth's museums. Let alone the rest of America.

And now, some of the amusing comments....

Someone said, "And y'all forgot Amon Carter's famous quote: Fort Worth is where the West begins, and Dallas is where the East peters out! :)"

To which someone else replied, "Amon Carter was provincial and ignorant and kept his head in the sand in Fort Worth."

Regarding Fort Worth burgers someone said, "Kincaids sucks. You guys have it wrong on that. And while it's way better than mcdonalds, it is substandard compared to several other places in town. Rodeo Goat may be new, but it is by far the best burger in Cowtown. And if you want a traditional burger at a long time FtW institution, look no farther than Fred's Burgers, much better atmosphere there as well."

A former Fort Worthian said, "I left Fort Worth in 1970. I now live in Dallas. I am always baffled by the hateful things people from Fort Worth say about Dallas. Natives from Dallas don't say such hateful things about Fort Worth. Fort Worth folks seem to have an inferiority complex. I doubt that I would ever move back to Fort Worth. I have friends in Fort Worth who turn their noses up at me when I say I live in Dallas. Some even refuse to visit, because I "defected" from Fort Worth. Fort Worth is a nice place to visit, but Dallas has so much more to offer. I don't think most residents of Dallas think there is much of a contest."

Another commenter had another comment about burgers, racing and football, "#1 is true. Kincaid's hamburgers are tough and overcooked. Charlie's burgers are much better. I don't know a single person that has ever roped a bull. We're not all stuck in the past, there are no more daredevils here than anywhere else, NASCAR is stupid, and TCU football sucks. Other than those things, great list. Thanks for perpetuating an ignorant series of stereotypes."

And then, regarding what to call the natives, "We are not "Fort Worthers", we are "Fort Worthians." Other than that, no real complaints."

The Texas Burger Guy & Kincaid's Hamburgers

A few days ago I blogged about a Fort Worth Sacred Cow, Kincaid's Hamburgers, and how I'd never understood the burger worship this place gets and my pleasure at reading others were also perplexed, with a poll showing that there are a lot of people who have thought that this particular Emperor had no clothes, while everyone seemed to be admiring his attire.

Then I got a comment from my most frequent commenter, Anonymous, chastising me for my demonstrably bad taste, after he had trusted my supposed rave review of Zorro's Buffet, to the point that he and his wife went to Zorro's one Friday night, with the subsequent discovery that I have very bad buffet tastes. I felt really bad when Anonymous told me he felt he'd thrown 20 bucks down the drain by following my misguided words.

I feel so bad about it that I'd happily send Anonymous 20 bucks if I only knew his last name and address. Or maybe Anonymous is his last name, I'd need the first name, in that case.

In the interest of fairness, and that really is what I am all about. Being fair. There is a website run by this guy, Texas Burger Guy. He goes around Texas writing very extensive, very detailed reviews about non-chain, Texas burger joints and the burgers, fries, onion rings and other stuff these places produce. The exception to the non-chain Texas burger joint aspect is a review of a McDonald's in Arkansas. Why not a McDonald's in Texas? I don't know.

Texas Burger Guy pretty much gave such a rave review to Kincaid's Hamburger it almost makes me want to give the place a 3rd chance to appeal to my demonstrably bad tastes.

Below is part of what Texas Burger Guy had to say about Kincaid's Hamburgers burger (go here to read the entire review and see pictures of burgers, fries, onion rings and the restaurant).....

Since the very first time I started discussing the TexasBurgerGuy concept with people - EVERY person I spoke to said I had to try Kincaid's in Fort Worth. They claimed it was hands down the best burger joint in Texas. That is a mighty bold statement. Obviously with such high expectations, I was prepared for a royal letdown. I am happy to report that Kincaid's definitely lived up to at least part of the expectations. They do have without a doubt the most unique atmosphere I have EVER witnessed in visiting various burger joints. I'll talk more about this later. As for the burger... mmm mama... it was a big, thick, juicy, 2-handed monster that made me remember why I enjoy traveling around the state enjoying mom and pop burger joints.

Kincaid's Burgers Are Overrated

I was not long in Fort Worth when I heard that Kincaid's Hamburgers made the best burgers in the world.

Year after year the locals vote for Kincaid's for burger awards. On Kincaid's website their customers are thanked for this...

"We Won Best Burger! Thank you to all our customers who helped us win the 2009 Golden Local Best Burger Award. We look forward to serving you at Kincaid's soon."

So, with all this hype I was looking forward to having the best burger ever. The first time I went to Kincaid's there was only the original, that being the Kincaid's on Camp Bowie Boulevard in Fort Worth. Kincaid's has since opened several more burger joints, including one in Southlake that was the location of my second visit to a Kincaid's.

Both times I was totally non-plussed. I didn't get it. But this was not the first time I've seen something hyped here that made me wonder things like have these people never had another burger? Have these people not seen any other downtown besides Fort Worth's? That after one of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram's goofy uses of their patented "Green With Envy" verbiage, as in cities and towns, near and far, are green with envy over the success of Fort Worth's downtown. (No, I am not making this up, go here for more examples)

I may have bad taste, but I prefer a Whopper or a Jumbo Jack burger over a Kincaid's burger. My all time favorite burger came from the legendary In & Out chain.

After all these years of thinking the Kincaid's hype was insane, finally, someone has said the Emperor has no clothes. A blog called Best of Texas had a post titled "5 Most Overrated Burgers in Texas." Kincaid's was #1 on the list, saying the Kincaid's burger was a "tasteless, lifeless, dry burger."

Then the new FW Weekly wannabe, DFW.com's Ink Edition, conducted a poll, asking "Are the Burgers at Kincaid's Overrated?"

32% said yes, Kincaid's burgers are nothing special. Another 32% thought Kincaid's burgers were maybe a little overrated, but who cares? While 29% thought absolutely not, Kincaid's burgers are the best. While 8% said they'd never had a Kincaid's burger.

So, I'm feeling a little better about the good taste of Fort Worth's burger eaters. And I'm glad to learn it's not just me who doesn't get the fuss made over those mediocre Kincaid's burgers.