Picnicking In Haltom City Without Elsie Hotpepper Or Amon Carter

I have long done my best to emulate my favorite Fort Worth historical figure.

Amon Carter.

When Amon Carter had the distasteful task of needing to venture all the way to Dallas he packed a lunch to take with him, so as not to leave any more money, than need be, in that evil town to the east of Fort Worth.

Now that I have exiled myself from the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, on those rare occasions when I return, like today, I pack a lunch.

Today on my way out of the Metroplex mess I stopped at Whites Branch Park in Haltom City for a pseudo picnic.

Whites Branch Park should be named Ally Collins Park, but I digress.

I would never stop in a Fort Worth park for a pseudo picnic, due to most Fort Worth parks missing an essential picnic element that I deem necessary for a modern era picnic experience.

Can you spot what this little Haltom City park has which most Fort Worth parks lack?

If you spotted running water in the form of a fountain, you are very observant.

This little park in Haltom City also has modern restroom facilities with modern indoor plumbing. An amenity also lacking in most Fort Worth city parks.

Elsie Hotpepper texted me whilst I was picnicking in Haltom City, with geographic information.  I had harbored the delusion that Elsie Hotpepper was joining me on this picnic, but that was not to be, to my great  disappointment....

Today I Learned I Would Rather Die Than Move From Artistic Fort Worth To Dallas

A blogging yesterday resulted in an interesting comment from someone with the gender neutral name of Anonymous...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "A Stormy August Sunday In Texas With Lightning Strikes, Thunder Booms & Wandering Birthday Cards":

Fort Worth, the tiny burg of family, food and Frogs and their fatuous fixation with Dallas:

10 Fort Worth Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

The link in the Anonymous comment went to a webpage on some sort of real estate entitie's website with that webpage listing 10 supposed Fort Worth Stereotypes. The list had a lot of typos and even more dubious claims, but, all in all, I found it amusing.

You can click the 10 Fort Worth Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate to read all ten stereotypes, plus some very amusing comments.  Below I have gleaned 8 of the 10 stereotypes, followed by me commenting about each stereotype and then some of the more choice comments....

1. Fort Worthers Would Rather Die Than Move To Dallas

Call Fort Worth a suburb of Dallas and, if looks could kill, you’d be dead in a Texas second. The only thing the two cities have in common is an airport that shares their names.

I currently live in Fort Worth. I would not rather die than move to Dallas. I like Dallas. Dallas reminds me of Seattle, except for the lack of scenery in Dallas.

3. Everyone In Fort Worth Is Fiercely Loyal To Kincaid’s Hamburgers

Kincaid’s is widely considered to be the best bite in Fort Worth and, dare we say it, possibly the entire Dallas Metroplex area. People in the Fort have enjoyed double cheeseburgers with everything and lemonades for generations.

Okay, in the number 1 stereotype the claim is that calling Fort Worth a Dallas suburb can get you a killing look, while in the #3 stereotype we refer to the "entire Dallas Metroplex area"?  Not Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex Area? Kincaid's is widely considered the best bite in Fort Worth? And all of D/FW? I have had two Kincaid's burgers during my over a decade stay in D/FW. I was not impressed. Not at all.

4. Fort Worthers Are All A Little Horny… When It Comes To Horned Frog Football, That Is

In Fort Worth they know to Fear the Frog and the will convince the rest of the nation just how intimidating they are the only way they know how—by fighting until hell freezes over then fighting on the ice.

Fort Worthers? The above contains a couple of the aforementioned typos. Convince the rest of the nation to fear the Fort Worth Frog? Really? I really hate to be the bearer  of sad tidings, but I  don't think the rest of the nation pays much attention to Fort Worth football.

5. People Here Are A Whole Different Breed Of Racing Fans

The Texas Motor Speedway is one of many badges of honor that Cowtowners take very seriously. Racing pride is all over town. You can find local’s favorite driver on bumper stickers, in windows and liberally applied across all apparel.

Fort Worth's racetrack is one of many badges of honor? Really? What are the other badges of honor? Cowtowners take their racetrack very seriously? With racing pride all over town? I have never noticed this racing pride all over town. The local's have a favorite driver? On their bumper stickers, windows and clothes? I am sure I would have noticed such a thing if it existed.

6. People From Fort Worth Are Fortified Authentic Texas

Talking to folks around Fort Worth is like taking a step into a time machine and waking up in the good old days when being down to earth friendly was standard and politeness was a virtue.

If the above is a subtle way of saying Fort Worth is a bit backwards, I guess I can agree with that stereotype.

7. Fort Worth Is Full Of Dare Devils

For all their laid-back qualities, Forters are as wild and untamed as the Western roots they hang their hats on. “Hey watch this” may as well be their motto because it gets dropped on the daily.

Forters? Again a typo renders the above a bit confusing. The only Fort Worth dare devils I can think of are those foolish enough to get wet in the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle's Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats.

8. And They’re Real Ropers

School is closed during the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo, not to pay tribute to all the hard-working cattle wranglers, but because otherwise everyone, faculty included, would be absent anyway. The event is legendary and every year about the time that talk of the last ride starts dying off the countdown for next year begins.

School is closed during the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo? Who knew? I really don't think this stereotyping stereotyper has actually been to the Fort Worth Stock Show if he or she actually thinks it to be anything legendary. While the State Fair of Texas, in Dallas, now I can see where one might, maybe, legitimately attach the legendary label to that event.

9. People In Fort Worth Are All Artists At Heart

Fort Worth boasts one of the world’s largest epicenters of the arts, and that is something that wouldn’t be possible without a huge community of avid art enthusiasts. Whether it’s frequenting the five iconic museums in the heart of the Cultural District or experiencing art first-hand at the Main Street Fort Worth Arts Fest, people in the Fort take supporting the arts to a whole new level.
Oh yes, I have seldom seen a big city with more of an artistic aesthetic than Fort Worth. Just look at the beautiful way Fort Worth landscapes the exits from its freeways, like the exits to the Fort Worth Stockyards, for instance. I really don't think any other big city in America landscapes exits to its tourists attractions in such an attractive manner as Fort Worth.

Then there is Heritage Park at the north end of downtown Fort Worth. That park is really representative of the Fort Worth artistic aesthetic.

Fort Worth boasts one of the world's largest epicenters of the arts? Why is this valuable information being kept from the rest of the world?

Five iconic museums? Again, I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings, but the only thing in Fort Worth which remotely approaches being iconic, as in recognized elsewhere, is the Fort Worth Stockyards sign, which sort of clues people in other parts of the world that this is in Fort Worth, due to the town's name being on the sign.

Five iconic museums? I doubt 95% of Fort Worth natives could name five of Fort Worth's museums. Let alone the rest of America.

And now, some of the amusing comments....

Someone said, "And y'all forgot Amon Carter's famous quote: Fort Worth is where the West begins, and Dallas is where the East peters out! :)"

To which someone else replied, "Amon Carter was provincial and ignorant and kept his head in the sand in Fort Worth."

Regarding Fort Worth burgers someone said, "Kincaids sucks. You guys have it wrong on that. And while it's way better than mcdonalds, it is substandard compared to several other places in town. Rodeo Goat may be new, but it is by far the best burger in Cowtown. And if you want a traditional burger at a long time FtW institution, look no farther than Fred's Burgers, much better atmosphere there as well."

A former Fort Worthian said, "I left Fort Worth in 1970. I now live in Dallas. I am always baffled by the hateful things people from Fort Worth say about Dallas. Natives from Dallas don't say such hateful things about Fort Worth. Fort Worth folks seem to have an inferiority complex. I doubt that I would ever move back to Fort Worth. I have friends in Fort Worth who turn their noses up at me when I say I live in Dallas. Some even refuse to visit, because I "defected" from Fort Worth. Fort Worth is a nice place to visit, but Dallas has so much more to offer. I don't think most residents of Dallas think there is much of a contest."

Another commenter had another comment about burgers, racing and football, "#1 is true. Kincaid's hamburgers are tough and overcooked. Charlie's burgers are much better. I don't know a single person that has ever roped a bull. We're not all stuck in the past, there are no more daredevils here than anywhere else, NASCAR is stupid, and TCU football sucks. Other than those things, great list. Thanks for perpetuating an ignorant series of stereotypes."

And then, regarding what to call the natives, "We are not "Fort Worthers", we are "Fort Worthians." Other than that, no real complaints."

Fort Worth's Amon Carter IV's Voluntary Branding Not A Crime

The Fort Worth Star-Telegram was founded by a guy named Amon G. Carter. Even way back early in the last century there was a strange rivalry between Fort Worth and Dallas, which continues to this day, which is totally one-sided, with Dallas not knowing there is a rivalry.

If Amon Carter had to do business in Dallas, he would pack a lunch, so that he did not need to go to a restaurant and leave some of his Fort Worth money in Dallas.

Last month Amon Carter's great-grandson, Amon Carter IV, who goes by the name of Chance, was in the news due to a bizarre incident that happened during a ski trip to Breckinridge, Colorado with a group of his fellow Texas Christian University fraternity and sorority members, who had rented a house.

While about a dozen TCU students watched, with one videotaping, Amon Carter had the Greek symbols of his fraternity and a sorority branded on his butt.

The branding went badly, with Chance needing surgery for second and third degree burns. Chance will need more surgery to restore his butt to its pre-branding state.

Some versions of the story have Chance passed out while the branding took place. Alcohol had been consumed.

On Thursday Breckinridge authorities decided Chance participated in the branding of his buttocks willingly and no charges would be filed.

Chance told a local TV news guy that he consented to the branding, but not to what eventually happened.

That does not make a lot of sense to me.

So, why am I even telling this story? Well, I'm telling this story because I found it interesting that I did not read it in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, that being Amon Carter IV's great granddaddy's newspaper. I read it this morning in my old local newspaper, online, the Skagit Valley Herald.

Now, it's likely the Star-Telegram did print the story of the branding. I did not see it online. And when I Googled "Amon Carter branding" no Star-Telegram article came up. So, maybe they did not tell their readers what happened to Chance.

The Carter family was quite upset. Chance's dad, Amon Carter III, had a lawyer make sure the branding was investigated.

Chance said, ""Somewhere, somebody has to say this is not OK. My family doesn't think it's OK, and I am angry."

I'm not quite sure what Chance is angry about. Is he angry that he agreed to have his butt branded?

I had a roller blade fall once that ended up with an injury that looked similar to Chance's. It hurt real bad. And I was really angry about it. I didn't need surgery though and had a full recovery.

Chinese Garlic

I had not been on my bike for a couple weeks, due to cold, not of the viral sort, but of the temp sort, and rain which renders my favorite mountain bike trail a muddy mess. But today I saw by looking at the DORBA website (Dallas Off Road Bicycle Association) that the trails had dried up.

I must digress. Yes there are mountain bike trails in Texas even though there are, for the most part, no mountains. I thought upon moving here that I would be giving up mountain bike riding. Instead I've pedaled thousands of miles on Texas trails. My latest bike odometer is up over 4000 miles. And it's my third odometer since I've been in Texas.

So, with the temps being a bit above freezing when factoring in the wind chill, I layered myself up and ventured off to River Legacy Park in Arlington. This park is really picky about kids having fun making trails for their stunt bikes. Go to the River Legacy page on my Eyes on Texas website and you can read the rude email I got from a park official who somehow thought I was promoting bad behavior.

I got to the park about noon. It was cold and very windy. The trail is one-way, meandering over 3 miles through woods. I usually go a minium of 3 times around, my record is 6. Today I made it one time around. I did not stop due to the cold. I stopped due to it not being fun being all bundled up and overheating. And I wanted to go to Wal-Mart and Chinatown.

Drove to the Ballpark in Arlington Wal-Mart. It sits across from the Dallas Cowboy stadium monstrosity. You can read all about the Dallas Cowboy scandal here. I am up close to the stadium every other week or so. This time I saw they've added a sign bragging about hosting the 2011 Super Bowl. The neighborhood to the south of the stadium is an industrial wasteland adjacent to a ghetto of old small mostly rundown houses. It will be interesting what those attending games think of this when they take in the view from the upper tiers. I don't think the view was taken into consideration when deciding upon a stadium location. There will be no downtown skyline to look at, no distant mountains, no body of water, nothing, unless you enjoy looking at what may be the world's most upscale Super Wal-Mart. It is decorated with giant baseballs, due to also being near the place where the Texas Rangers lose baseball games. Giant footballs have yet to be added to the Wal-Mart. I'm sure it is only a matter of time. They are likely being fabricated even as I type.

It's ironic. The Dallas Cowboys have not played in Dallas for decades. They play in a Dallas suburb called Irving. But at least Irving is in Dallas County. They will soon be playing in another Dallas suburb, that being Arlington. But Arlington is not even in Dallas County, it is in Tarrant County. Fort Worth is the county seat of Tarrant County. Fort Worth sort of feuds with Dallas, with Dallas not seeming to notice or care, as evidenced by Dallas not caring about their new stadium being in Fort Worth's county. Many in Fort Worth will not cross 360. That is a highway that runs north and south, sort of dividing the D/FW Metroplex, as if crossing to the east side of 360 is venturing into enemy territory. One of Fort Worth's most famous citizens, Amon Carter, founder of the Star-Telegram, would resist having to do business in Dallas, and if it could not be helped he would bring a sack lunch so he could avoid leaving even the money it would take to buy lunch behind in the enemy city. I am not making this stuff up. Just go here and read the Wikipedia article about this notoriously odd Fort Worth booster.

I spent 15 minutes at the Stadium Wal-Mart and then drove south to Chinatown. That's an area of Arlington settled by many Vietnamese and Chinese. There are several Asian and Middle Eastern markets. It's a good place to get good produce. Today I wanted garlic and red peppers. And a few other things. When I got to the garlic zone I was perplexed and vexed to see the packaging clearly indicating the garlic was from China. Up til recently I would have thought nothing of this, but now it concerns me.

But the Chinese garlic did not concern me too much I guess, since I've just finished 4 cloves of it with sharp cheese and grapefruit juice whilst sitting here typing. Now, make fun of this behavior all you want, but keep in mind, I've put over 4000 miles on my latest bike odometer. How many have you put on yours?