Will J.D. Granger Be Floating In The Trinity On a 4th Of July Rockin' The River Happy Hour Inner Tube??

J.D. Granger With Gaggle Of Gals

Someone named Anonymous left a new comment on an old post this morning. The old post was posted a few days ago, a cautionary tale about turning around before drowning on the Trinity River.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Turn Around To Not Drown While You Are Rockin' The River": 

There's a photo at DFW.com of JD Granger rockin' the river. It looks like JD attended the 6-29-2012 event and he is in party pic #114. 

When I got to pic #114 I was expecting to see J.D.. Granger in an inner tube, floating in the Trinity River, with a beer cooler.

Instead I found a photo of J.D. Granger wearing a t-shirt with a slogan that informs us "I DELIVER FOR THE RIVER."

I have absolutely no idea what that slogan means.

I agree with the others, whoever they are, who find it odd that J.D. Granger has not demonstrated his inner tubing skills whilst Rockin' the River at one of the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle's Thursday Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats.

One would think J.D. would do so to demonstrate to all the naysayers that it is perfectly safe to immerse oneself in the Trinity River water, even though testing shows high levels of things you don't want to have at a high level in anything that gets you wet.

Someone, I don't remember who it was, suggested J.D. can't get in an inner tube in the water because he is embarrassed by his beer gut.

J.D. Granger Demonstrating His Beer Drinking Technique

That is ridiculous. Looking at the above photo of J.D. do you see a beer gut? I don't. Which is remarkable considering the copious amounts of beer J.D. is rumored to consume.

Even if J.D. did have a beer gut that he was embarrassed to expose to the general public, there is no river rule prohibiting covering a beer gut with a t-shirt.

Methinks that maybe J.D. has seen secret reports with detailed data about what is actually floating in the Trinity River.

I believe this Thursday's Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Float takes place a day early, on Wednesday, because Wednesday is the 4th of July.

I am thinking maybe J.D. Granger has been waiting for a special occasion, like the 4th of July, to participate in his first Trinity River Inner Tube Float.

J.D. Granger Is A Great Family Man, Faithful Husband & Brilliant Project Manager Rockin' The Trinity River Better Than The San Marcos River

Today I got a couple interesting blog comments from someone calling him or herself Anonymous in which Anonymous sort of comes to the defense of Fort Worth's favorite rogue, J.D. Granger and the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle's Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats.

I'll copy the two comments from Anonymous below...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "J.D. Granger's Trinity River Happy Hour Tubing Party":

J.D. is a great guy. Loosen up a little.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Rockin' Live On The Trinity River Inner Tube Happy Hour Concert Series Announced":

In response: Study your geography. The Trinity River is constantly moving. Goes thru Texas out to the ocean. No still, standing, stagnant water. The events are totally funded by sponsors, not the tax payers money. There is a lifeguard there and there are port-a-johns and people do use them. Neither of these are available at San Marcos. Its your choice to what beverage you bring. Life is all about choices. Learn your facts people!

______________________________________

In response to Anonymous informing us that J.D. is a great guy. Well, we already knew that. Great family man, faithful husband, top-notch mega-project director. A tea-totaling saint of a man who has deserved every dime he has earned while on the public dole. And need we mention how blessed J.D. is in the mother department?

As for Anonymous making a very strong case for the idea that floating in the Trinity River is a better deal than floating in the clear San Marcos River, because Rockin' the River has a lifeguard and port-a-johns, while the San Marcos River does not. Well, who can argue with that impeccable logic?

Anonymous also helps us geographically challenged sorts understand that the Trinity River is constantly moving. Constantly. On its way to the ocean. With no still, standing, stagnant water.

Except for that water that is not moving much, right now, behind the many pond creating dams that block the Trinity, in multiple locations, as it flows through Fort Worth.

Like the pond at the confluence of the West and Clear Forks of the Trinity River, at the location where the Rockin' the River Inner Tube Happy Hour Floats take place.

I hope Anonymous appreciates that I've loosened up with J.D. Granger today, as per his or her Anonymous request....

Come Join Me Today Rockin' The River Live On The Trinity With Lifeguards & No Guns

It seems like I've been waiting forever for this day to arrive. That day being the first Trinity River Vision Boondoggle Happy Hour Inner Tube Float of the year.

Now with music. Starting at 6pm today loud music is going to be rocking the Trinity River floaters. The floating starts at 4pm and lasts til 8:30pm.

If you are concerned that some of the inner tube floaters might be packing heat in addition to alcoholic adult beverages you will be relieved to know that the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle's Trinity River Happy Hour Inner Tube Float webpage advises floaters to "DO NOT BRING" firearms or weapons.

What other weapon might someone bring other than a firearm? A knife? I suppose some maniac might go poking holes in inner tubes with a knife if knives were allowed. Where would you pack heat or a knife in a swimming suit?

Another relief is the fact that there will be lifeguards ready to come to the rescue in case a cluster of water moccasins decide to join the fun, or an alligator gar, or some snapping turtles, or an alligator or some other totally unanticipated river danger.

Anyway, I gleaned from the official TRV Boondoggle "Tube the Trinity - Rockin' the River Summer Music Tubing Series" webpage the details of today's big event and copied them below....

Admission:

• This is a completely FREE event every 2nd & 4th Thursday in June, July & August!
• The first 600 attendees will receive a FREE tube!
• Do you have your own tube??  Bring it!
• Receive your Rockin’ the River wristband at the Sign In Tent!  Attendees will be required to sign a waiver and receive a wristband prior to entering the river.

Time:

• 4:00pm – 8:30pm
• Live Concerts begin at 6:00pm

Location:

• Panther Island Pavilion in Trinity Uptown

Parking:

• Free parking at the "Old Tandy Center"

What to bring:

• BYOB & Coolers – NO GLASS OR STYROFOAM ALLOWED
• River Shoes
• Sunscreen
• Beach Towel
• Lawn Chair
• Blanket
• Water tight container for your keys, phone, etc. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOST OR WET ITEMS.

DO NOT BRING:

• Glass or Styrofoam containers
• Firearms
• Fireworks
• Weapons
• Noise Makers

MORE INFO:

To access FREE parking at the "Old Tandy Center" lot: From Henderson Street, turn west on Belknap and merge right onto Forest Park Boulevard. Take the immediate right on Purcey Street and proceed to the parking lot.

Hop on the school bus shuttle that will take you and your cooler to the Sign In Tent FOR FREE!

Check in at the Sign In Tent to sign your waiver and receive a Rockin’ The River wristband.  YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN THE RIVER WITHOUT A WRISTBAND.

This event includes loud music and alcohol.  Please use discretion in bringing young children.  Children under 12 years of age will be required to wear a life vest at all times while in the water.  Free life vests are available for use, but must be returned at the end of the event.

Lifeguards will be on duty, however all attendees enter the river at your own risk. Pets must remain on a leash at all times.

There Is No Knife In My Back This Morning Stopping Me From Today's Trinity River Happy Hour Inner Tube Float Boondoggle

Looking skyward through the bars of my patio prison cell it appears the 9th day of June is going to be yet one more clear blue sky HOT day in Texas.

I am happy to be starting the 9th day of June without the knife in my back that was sticking me with pain the past couple days.

June is already almost a third gone, once more vexing me with the feeling that time is accelerating.

Today I am very excited to be going on the first Trinity River Vision Boondoggle Trinity River Happy Hour Inner Tube Float, along with 600 other floaters.

I was confused as to where the inner tubing was taking place after it was moved from Trinity Park, due to restrictions on liquor consumption, to something called Panther Pavilion.

Gail Galtex, aka GG, alleviated me of my Panther Pavilion confusion. Apparently the inner tubing is going to take place at the (destined to be destroyed by the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle) confluence of the West and Clear forks of the Trinity River.

The Queen of Wink remains missing.

I think I will go swimming now, not in the Trinity River, which is nearby and apparently swimmable, but in a swimming pool with clear water and no alligator gar or water moccasins.

Rockin' Live On The Trinity River Inner Tube Happy Hour Concert Series Announced

I really truly believe it is time for some sort of federal intervention in this strange part of America I am currently living in.

A few minutes ago, my best friend, Anonymous, sent me a link to a story on the dfw.com website, titled "Inaugural 'Rockin' the River' concert series announced."

In the first sentence of the article the writer, Preston Jones, writes, "It's an idea so good, one wonders why nobody thought of it sooner."

The idea Preston Jones is talking about is, "Starting June 9, the Rockin' the River - Live on the Trinity summer tubing and music series will take place every second and fourth Thursday through the month of August. Trinity River Vision, the organizers, are billing the series as a "floating happy hour," with free admission and free tubes for the first 600 people to show up, starting at 4 p.m."

An idea so good, one wonders why nobody thought of it sooner?

Actually, it is an idea, so stupid, it is a wonder anyone thought of it now.

But, this is what you get when your local congresswoman puts her unqualified son in charge of a big public works project, when that son is very fond of partying and partial to adult beverages.

The Trinity River Vision is providing 600 free inner tubes. Do those getting the free inner tubes get to take them home with them? How much do 600 inner tubes cost? Is buying inner tubes what voters thought they were voting for back in 2004 when, apparently, a bond vote occurred which some claim is what has validated the TRV foolishness and folly which has evolved into massive Happy Hour Inner Tube Parties on the Trinity River?

Now with music.

The Trinty River Vision will even allow you to bring your own inner tube, along with booze coolers and lawn chairs to set on when you tire of floating in the polluted river.

Apparently the Trinity River Vision's vision has been expanded to include helping increase alcohol consumption. From the TRV's Rockin' the River poster we learn that if you "Want your Happy Hour to last all night long?! Wear your Rockin' the River wristband to a participating bar after the float and receive drink specials ALL NIGHT!!"

Starting June 9, Josh Weathers and the True+Endeavors, along with other Texas acts, will make beautiful music from a waterfront stage, serenading the happy hour floaters out in the river, dodging snakes, turtles, alligator gar, assorted toxins and occasional floating fecal matter.

Happy Hour floats will continue through the summer. Or until someone dies in an unfortunate, totally unforeseen accident. The Happy Hour floating dates are June 23 with Bleu Edmondson, July 14 with Eleven Hundred Springs, July 28 with Ryan Turner, August 11 with the Kyle Bennett Band and August 25 with The Will Callers.

Now, if there is a fatal tragedy, like what happened in the Fort Worth Water Gardens, who is it who will be sued? The Trinity River Vision? The City of Fort Worth? The Tarrant Regional Water District? All of them? Who will pay?

Ultimately You........

Tubing The Trinity River Vision Boondoggle Photo Booth Wondering How Did They Get That Brown Water So Blue

Incoming, just in, from Eunice Lovers, my Trinity River Vision Boondoggle insider spy.

Apparently the TRVB, that is the acronym for Trinity River Vision Boondoggle, I probably did not need to explain that, anyway, the TRVB people have been setting up a booth at various Tarrant County venues, like the Main Street Arts Festival and Mayfest, but shockingly not at the Prairie Fest.

In this booth you can get your picture taken whilst looking as if you are floating in the Trinity River on an inner tube.

This seemed, to me, to be so over the top ridiculous that I though Eunice might be making it up, faking the image, just to have fun with me.

However, Eunice also mentioned that TRVB was posting photos of people on the tubes on the TRVB Facebook page.

And sure enough, there are a lot of them.

The TRVB propaganda that is selling the idea that the Trinity River is a recreational venue is being so effective it has almost convinced me that I want to stick my inflatable kayak in the river.

Is there any mechanism where the feds intervene when an area of the country has obviously gone insane? If there is, I think it is time to employ that mechanism.