Three Month Anniversary Of My Tacoma Tribulation: You Can't Go Home Again

I realized this morning that 2 days ago it was 4 months since I flew up to Washington, leaving on a very hot July 20, arriving in a very cold northwest to begin a month of what I've come to think of as my Tacoma Tribulation.

It was the worst of times, it was the best of times. Tilting more towards the former.

In the 3 months since I've been back to the relative, relative-free sanity of Texas I've talked to 3 people regarding the "You Can't Go Home Again" syndrome. One of the 3 moved to the South the month before I did, moving from the same county in Washington that I moved from. She moved back to Washington this past June.

It's been months and she's still not re-acclimated to the frigid northwest climate. Or being back "home." She too has experienced the "You Can't Go Home Again" feeling.

The trouble is, when you move away from where you've always lived and you go back, it's sort of like going to a class reunion. The people seem stuck in time. They aren't relating to the current you, but to someone who no longer exists. Like when I was up in Seattle some friends showed up, one dating back to high school. This guy has carried around baggage relating to me for decades. It did not take long for the old neurosis to rear its head. I found it very bizarre to experience.

In Texas all the people I know are real nice to me. It's a very positive, re-enforcing environment. And then I go back to the northwest and it's like being stuck in an insult machine. It was profoundly disturbing. I reacted to it with a hunker down mentality, just bear it, this too shall pass.

One of the worst is one of my relatives. You'd think when they haven't seen you in a couple years that there might be some ability to be pleasant for a short duration. The relative I'm talking about is a very unhappy person, sort of stuck in time, is an alcoholic, bossy, very thin-skinned, yet constantly making offensive, off-putting remarks. No adult ego state has ever formed, the poor thing is perpetually stuck in a very contaminated parental ego state. If I can help it, and I can, I intend to avoid this person for the rest of my life. I see no reason to expose myself to toxins, human or otherwise. Unless they grow up. Which won't happen.

In one of the good things that happened up in Tacoma I shed myself of some bad baggage. It'd been sort of bothering me for awhile, but I didn't quite know if I was right or not. I knew the party in question was toxic. My fear was that daily contact with this toxicity, via the telephone, might be having a deleterious effect on me, to an extent that might be unhealthy. And then, with a month of personal contact, while in Tacoma, it showed me, quite clearly, that this was not a person with whom it was healthy to have any sort of relationship. Mentally ill people really should be as purposefully avoided as any other type of sick person. You don't want to catch what they have. Catch their sickness, next thing you know you weigh half a ton.

The change in my mindset, free of the toxic exposure, in the past 3 months, tells me that my intuition had been correct all along.

In the past the mentally ill would be put in an institution. In modern times, more often than not, they are put on medication. I don't know for sure if this is progress. Unless the pills can totally stifle the illness, I'm thinking that locking them away from those of us who don't need pills might be a better plan. In mental institutions they have all sorts of fun arts and crafts things for the patients to play with.

Well, my little sister, Kristin and Max & Blue were nice to me, for the most part. I did have some poodle issues. My mom and dad were nice to see, what with their mammoth jam-making projects and other projects. Be warned, if you stay at my little sister's house you are made to work for your room and board. It's either that or eviction. I've never done so much vacuuming and dish washing in my life.

Speaking of dish washing, I very rarely get sick here. There seems to be a lot of getting ill at my little sister's house. I wash my dishes here in very hot water, likely killing anything bad. Up there they didn't have very hot water, so they relied on chemicals in the form of dish washing detergents to give them the false sense that their dishes were safely clean. It made me nervous, fearful of food poisoning, my entire month there. My fear caused me to politely decline dinner call at times. Or to go to McDonald's. And to consume just enough alcohol containing beverages a day to safely kill anything bad that didn't get washed off the dishes.

My method was successful. I did not get ill. I never even got a slight stomach ache. Max & Blue had some tummy troubles while I was there. I fear their food bowl isn't getting enough hot water and way too much dish detergent. Poodles should not have to suffer like this.

Gar The Texan's Wife Leaves Him With Kidney Stone

I was shocked, shocked I tell you, to learn this morning that Gar the Texan's latest wife has left him and returned to Germany.

Giddy at his latest bout of singleness Gar the Texan engaged in a wild night of barhopping with his pre-marriage drinking buddies.

After a night of too much imbibing Gar the Texan woke up to what he thought was miserable hangover pain.

But the pain persisted and got worse.

In my experiences with Gar the Texan about half the time he engaged in any activity that was not sitting he'd get a case of the vapors. But this post-wife leaving ailment was beyond a simple case of the vapors.

As the pain worsened Gar the Texan knew he needed medical help. In his state of failing cerebral function he called a hospital and asked to be picked up. He was told the hospital does not provide such a service and told him to call 911.

Gar the Texan resisted calling 911 because he didn't think his was a 911-worthy emergency. But then the pain got worse, so he called 911. The 911 operator told him help was on the way. Gar the Texan asked them to please be discrete.

Instead a firetruck and ambulance showed up. Gar the Texan was rolled into the ambulance where medics began working to stabilize him.

When he got to the hospital Gar the Texan soon learned that he was not suffering from the hangover from HELL, but instead he was passing a very large kidney stone.

Gar the Texan is recovering at home. No wife to nurse him back to health.

Sad, true story.

JFK Assassination 45th Anniversary

The majority of Americans were not alive 45 years ago today when John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated. An event that shocked and saddened the entire world.

JFK's last night alive was spent in the city in which I now live, Fort Worth. JFK and First Lady Jackie spent the night in Suite 1530, on the 15th floor of what was then called the Texas Hotel. It is now Hilton Fort Worth.

You can spend the night in Suite 1530, also known as the JFK Suite. It's a 2,200 square foot, 2 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath hotel room. There is memorabilia in the JFK Suite commemorating his stay in Fort Worth. It only costs $2,500 a night to stay in the JFK Suite. I was only able to afford one night. I guess it was worth it.

It's cheaper to visit the gravesite of JFK's assassin, Lee Harvey Oswald. Oswald is buried walking distance from where I live.

I don't know what is planned today at Dealey Plaza. There is always a crowd there on this date. The only time I've been at Dealey Plaza on November 22 was 5 years ago for the 40th Anniversary. That was a rather amazing event. You can see for yourself in the video below.

Texas Salvation Army Bell Ringers Accept Credit Cards

I don't like how Wal-Mart lets various charities, petition purveyors or even Fort Worth Star-Telegram subscription hawkers set up at their entrances, harassing shoppers as they come and go. It's very annoying.

For about 2 weeks ago now the Salvation Army has taken up their annual bell ringing positions outside stores all over America, including Wal-Mart.

Whenever I am held up by one of these type things, be it the Salvation Army or someone seeking money to help kids play soccer, I always say "I don't have any money, do you take credit cards?" Of course the person wanting money always says no to the credit card question.

Til now.

A dozen or so D/FW Metroplex Salvation Army bell ringers are now able to answer yes to my credit card question. Since I've no idea which of the 500 or so Metroplex bell ringers are able to accept credit cards I have to find a new way to say no.

If you do come across one of the Salvation Army credit card acceptors and you want to make a donation the minimum donation if you use a credit or debit card is $5. The ruthless, uncharitable credit card companies charge the Salvation Army 25 cents per transaction, plus 2.9% of the amount donated. Heartless bastards.

If you donate by card you'll get a receipt for tax purposes, it being a tax deductible donation.

Texas Executes Another Killer: Robert Hudson

Last night Texas extended its lead as America's #1 Executing State with the 18th killer put to death this year.

Bad car wrecks are bigger news than executions in Texas. Last night's Huntsville life termination was reported in a small article on page 9B of this morning's Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

In 1999 Robert Jean Hudson stabbed his ex-girl friend, Edith Kendrick, to death, after breaking into her Mesquite apartment. Mesquite is a suburb of Dallas. Hudson also seriously injured Kendrick's 8 year-old son.

Hudson's attorney appealed his case to the Supreme Court, faulting his trial lawyers for not presenting mitigating evidence that this was a crime of passion which significantly reduced Hudson's moral culpability. In his trial, jurors also did not hear about Hudson's unstable childhood, his dad's drug and alcohol problems, his mom's psychiatric problems or Hudson's own psychiatric treatment and medications taken to control his behavior and anger problem.

I used to know a nutcase who was on meds to control her behavior and anger problems. The meds can only do so much. The nutcase regularly lost control. If she killed someone during one of her fits I don't know if she should be put down for it. But I do think she should get a life sentence.

Justices John Paul Stevens and Ruth Bader Ginsburg would have granted a reprieve. But Hudson didn't get one because the rest of the Supreme Court thought he'd gotten a fair trail and needed to die.

Sizzled Turkey Rather Than Deep-Fried

Yesterday I blogged about Thanksgiving and Deep-Fried Turkey. This afternoon a current Seattle-ite calling himself "CB", who spent time in Dallas and Texas and who likes my blogging perspective about my exile in Texas, commented on Deep Frying Turkey and suggested a less troublesome solution.

"CB" also verbalized some concern regarding my roller blading attire. I appreciate it when someone cares enough to give me advice. Below is "CB's" comment, which is also posted at the posting he commented on....

You really ought to consider 'frying' that turkey in one of the new oil-less infrared fryers from Char-Broil. As a Seattle-ite who enjoys reading your posts. (I lived in Dallas and worked all over Texas during the 80's.) I get a kick out of your perspectives that seem to be a 'hybred' of where you've lived.

Anyway, I write the web log called Sizzle on the Grill and we've been featuring this new cooker called "The Big Easy." and it's really pretty darn close to fried turkey. And you save that $45 + for the cost of the oil, not to mention the worries about having it too hot and potentially boiling over and burning the house down. Oh and now mess to clean-up. That's gotta be worth something in the world of Durango? Thanks. Happy Grilling! -

CB

PS. uh, watchyoselfwiththerollerbladinginthebuffcuz

2008 Great American Smokeout

Today is the 41st annual Great American Smokeout. Starting in 1977, on the 3rd Thursday of November and every 3rd Thursday of November since then, the American Cancer Society has been trying to get smokers to stop smoking for one day. And hopefully, with help, turn it into two.

I can't believe it's been this many years I've been giving up cigarettes on this day.

This year the American Cancer Society has added a "Stay Quit Monday" followup day, hopefully to keep smokers off the evil weed.

I see a lot more smokers here in Texas than I do up in Washington. And way more butts on the ground here. But that may be partly due to the greater penchant for littering in Texas.

The Great American Smokeout came about 22 years after the U.S. Surgeon General's Report connected tobacco use to lung cancer, low birth weight and coronary disease.

I'm looking out my window right now and seeing 3 people with cigarettes dangling from their mouths with a 4th holding the cigarette while he coughs. Just a second, I need to go yell at these people that today is the Great American Smokeout.

The smoking rate of Americans has fallen constantly since the Surgeon General suggested people stop smoking. Down from 42% smoking in 1964 to only 19.8% smoking in 2007. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention tracks the smoking statistics.

As recently as the 1980s smoking was allowed in hospitals and on commercial airplanes. Now it's banned in most public buildings and restaurants, even here in smokey Texas.

Midnight Cell Phone Calls & Cold Swimming In Texas

Last night I stayed up past my usual bedtime in order to watch Top Chef. That had me in bed a bit past 10. I'd had me a day, so I didn't have too much trouble falling asleep.

And then at 11:47 my cell phone rang like the alarm clock from hell. The "ring" on my cell phone is like 10 seconds of a loud symphony.

I awoke, startled, saw the cell phone glowing. I figured anyone calling so late had to be doing so due to an emergency. But no. It was someone from the west coast. Even though it was only 9:47 in her time zone, she still should have known better than to call so late. It's just inexcusably rude.

Naturally, after this horrible trauma I had trouble getting back to sleep and was pretty much restless the rest of the night.

I ended up getting up before 6 and was in the pool by a bit before 8. So, that's your swimming report for the day. I was in the pool for about a half hour. I think the water may have been warmer than yesterday, maybe.

Preacher Ed Young's Seven Days of Sex Sermon, Part 2

Grapevine, Texas' Fellowship Church preacher, Ed Young, continues to get a lot of attention from all over the world due to preaching that married couples in his church should get busy having sex every day for a week.

An amusing letter to the editor was in this morning's Fort Worth Star-Telegram about the subject, with the author verbalizing concerns about the possible strain this task might put on the elderly married couple's in Ed Young's flock.

I'll paste the letter to the editor below, but first I've got to tell you about something else I found about the Ed Young preacher. He's got a Blog! Called the "Ed Young Blog". The current first post is titled "7 Days of ?!?!".

In that post Ed Young writes the following....

"I'm not even sure what day it is! We've been going at such a whirlwind pace getting ready to go to London and Johannesburg that it's been a challenge to keep the challenge.

But don't worry. Lisa and I haven't bailed out. It's just made us think more about our strategy to make time to make love. And there are so many things that Lisa and I have discovered so far.

For one, we are thinking more creatively about sex in order to avoid the monotony that can set in. We know this challenge isn't for competition. It's something that will strengthen our marriage and give us the greater "reward" of deeper intimacy. The last few days we've really had to ratchet up the thought process and communication that goes into sex. "

And now the Letter to the Editor....

Don’t come here for instruction

I’m puzzled why Ed Young, the Fellowship Church preacher, decided to preach his “Seven Days of Sex” sermon. I’m not writing to judge the guy, just to give my opinion on the wisdom of his actions from my point of view as a Christian. Was he motivated by the desire for media coverage? Probably! He should confine his “bed” and arbitrary “seven days” to individual marriage-counseling sessions in which couples may ask his advice about sex and the frequency thereof.

As for myself, I don’t want to listen to any preacher lay out such a regimented plan in an entire sermon on sex; let him incorporate some messages gleaned from the Bible in an ordinary sermon! You know, topics like the plan of salvation, loving your neighbor (and wife), and the ordinary subjects that have to do with how to get to heaven.

Hey, what about the poor souls who try the preacher’s plan and can’t carry it out? How rotten they must feel; maybe they made it past day two but then ... Oh, well, I guess they just didn’t love each other enough. What about the more chronologically advanced couples and their perhaps declining “abilities.

”What about singles in the audience. Oh, forget I brought that up!

My advice to couples who might be tempted to follow the prescribed regimen: don’t buy into it! Young may have a plan for 365 consecutive days of sex. Unless you’re Superman (or Super-sex Man) you might be in for a bumpy ride!

Preacherman should have left it at this: love your mate, show affection genuinely, get plenty of rest and pray a lot. Good sex should follow. No guarantees are offered, however; and don’t ask us for more advice on sex — please!

— Jim Gill, Euless

Thanksgiving & Deep Fried Turkey

I erroneously thought that this coming Thursday was Thanksgiving and since it is Tuesday today there was not enough time to thaw out a turkey to cook 2 days from now.

Just minutes ago I learned I have another week til it's too late to thaw out a turkey. Last year I went to the bother of doing the whole classic Thanksgiving dinner. It's way too much bother to go through for 20 minutes of eating.

Maybe Zorro's Buffet is open for Thanksgiving. Or, I could get a bird and drag out the Turkey Fryer. It's a bit scary dipping a big bird in a big vat of super hot peanut oil. But what comes out in about a half hour is the tastiest turkey you'll ever have. And totally non-greasy, which seems even stranger than being able to swim when the water is icy cold.

You can go to my Texas website for more about Deep-Frying a Turkey. Below is a Deep-Fried Turkey Recipe to help you with your Thanksgiving cooking project.

Deep-Fried Turkey

Serves 20

4 to 5 gallons peanut oil

12- to 15-pound whole turkey, at room temperature

Cayenne pepper, optional

Begin heating the oil outdoors in a 10-gallon pot over a very hot propane flame. Don't set the burner to its highest setting, as you may need to increase the heat after you've added the turkey. It will take about 20 minutes for the oil to heat. Use a candy/deep-fry thermometer clamped to the side of the pot to determine the temperature of the oil.

Meanwhile, rinse the turkey well, pat it dry inside and out and set it on end in a sink to drain.

When the oil reaches 375 degrees, pat the turkey dry again and sprinkle with cayenne, if desired. If your cooker has a basket insert, place turkey in the basket and set it over a baking sheet; if not, set an oven rack over a large baking sheet, place the turkey on it and take them outside to the cooker.

Check temperature of the oil. When oil reaches 390 degrees, carefully and slowly lower the basket with the turkey into the oil; or lower it by holding it by its legs or by a long, heavy tool such as a clean fireplace poker inserted into its cavity. (Or, pull a length of cotton twine through the flesh loop that is holding the legs in place. Double the cotton and tie securely, fashioning a handle for dropping and lifting.) Immediately check the oil temperature and adjust the flame so that the temperature does not dip below 340 degrees. You want to maintain the temperature at 365 degrees. As it cooks, occasionally move the bird around in the oil so that it doesn't scorch. The oil near the heat source will be hotter.

A whole turkey takes only 3-4 minutes per pound to fry to perfection. Small ones, around 12 pounds, will take about 35 minutes; large ones, around 15 pounds, will take about 1 hour. When the turkey is done, it will float to the surface with a perfectly crispy, brown skin. If you are unsure, you can test the meat for doneness at the hip joint, or insert a meat thermometer into the breast; it should register 180 degrees.

Using the basket insert if there is one, or by again inserting a long, heavy tool such as a clean fireplace poker into its cavity, carefully remove the turkey from the oil and hold it over the pot for a moment to allow any excess oil to drain back into the pot. Then lay the bird on the oven rack. Allow it to rest for 20 minutes before carving.

Very approximate nutritional analysis per serving: 415 calories, 27 grams fat, 0 carbohydrates, 40 grams protein, 116 milligrams cholesterol, 96 milligrams sodium, 60 percent of calories from fat.