World's Tallest Cow? In Texas?

A couple days ago I blogged about the Tallest Cow in the World. Well, actually, I later learned it wasn't a cow, but a steer. Apparently a steer has never been a cow, but is instead a bull who has lost some important body parts.

The supposed, not yet confirmed by Guinness, Tallest Cow is in Britain.

As the Whole World knows everything is Bigger in Texas and that Texans are prone to spinning Tall Tales, so it just seemed to me that there had to be a creature of the bovine persuasion, in Texas, taller than 6 foot 6.

So. Sunday I was up at Lake Grapevine, hiking the Knob Hills Trail. A herd of longhorns roams free in that area. They are friendly beasts, though they look dangerous.

One of the longhorns looked rather tall to me. I had no measuring stick with me. I don't know if the longhorn was a cow, bull or steer. I did not get a good look at its backside.

As you can see, from the photo above, the longhorn appears to be about a foot taller than me. That'd make it about 7 feet tall, 8 feet tall if you consider the horns.

Do I need to contact the Guinness people?

ABC's The Bachelorette 4 & Texas

Go here for this morning's blogging about last night's Bachelorette final episode.

I admit that I do enjoy some of the reality shows. My favorite is Amazing Race. My least favorite of the genre is the bizarre find a mate reality shows. The first of that type, I believe, was ABC's The Bachelor. I did not watch it.

I believe one of the girls who got rejected from the first Bachelor then became The Bachelorette. That lucky bachelorette's name is Trista. She picked her bachelor and became one of the few to actually move on to getting married and having a baby. Usually the relationships on these shows is over by the time the show airs.

The Bachelor format has become a sort of plague on TV. There is currently one on the CW Network where a lonely farmer can't find a wife and so he somehow ended up on a show called The Farmer Wants a Wife. I've not watched it.

VH1 has had at least 3 of these find a mate shows. VH1's are particularly twisted. One is called Flavor of Love. It is currently running. I don't know, or care, if it's a fresh look for love. Or a re-run. Flavor of Love's love seeker is this guy I'd not heard of before, a rapper, named Flavor Flav. He'd been on The Surreal Live where he struck up a romance with Sylvester Stallone's ex, Brigitte Nielson. She and Flavor Flav then got their own reality show that was all about their disturbing romance. Brigitte Nielson has since been on yet another VH1 reality show all about celebs in rehab. Apparently Flavor Flav drove her to drink.

One of the rejects on the first Flavor of Love was this awful woman named Tiffany Pollard who called herself New York. She then got her own VH1 find a mate show called I Love New York. The first season's search for a mate ended badly, so there was a season two in which New York found true love with a guy she called Tailor Made. I thought this would surely lead to a follow up show called Tailor Made for New York. But, instead, season 3 will be called New York Goes to Hollywood. I don't know if she goes to Hollywood with Tailor Made.

There have been other meet a mate shows that follow the ABC formula, like a couple of Joe Millionaires, a couple seasons of one called Love or Money. I'm sure there are others that I don't know about or have forgotten.

The only other find a mate reality show I can think of is also on VH1. And it's the worst. Bret Michael's Rock of Love. There have been 2 seasons of this over the hill rocker's search for a good groupie. This one so appalls me I've blogged about it before.

Slight change of subject. I learned of the new Bachelorette show, starting up tonight, when I read this morning's Fort Worth Star-Telegram. The paper today managed to mention CBS news guy, Bob Schieffer, without telling us yet one more time that he grew up in Fort Worth, graduated from North Side High School and Texas Christian University. Or that he was born in Austin.

However, in the article about The Bachelorette it's all about the Texas connections. I'll copy it below for your amusement.

"Bachelor also-ran DeAnna Pappas returns, and this time it's her turn to do the choosing. Big North Texas contingent: Brian W., a high school football coach from Fort Worth (he's one of two Brian W.'s---bet that's confusing): Chris, who's in medical sales and is from Fort Worth and lives in Dallas; and Twilley, a debt manager who hails from Tulsa and lives in Dallas. And host Chris Harrison is from Dallas. Sheesh, I might actually have to watch this..."

Sheesh is right.

Newspaper Content, Bias and Credibility

No. Even though 65% of my thousands of readers are currently wanting me to keep bashing the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, this isn't totally about that. Sadly, I saw nothing in this week's Sunday Star-Telegram that annoyed me, other than it being the smallest Sunday paper I've ever seen. But that's the case every week.

So, yesterday I came upon a website called Mondo Newspapers that covers the top 100 American newspapers in depth, based on readership data from the Newspaper Association of America. The order on the list is determined by circulation. This, unfortunately, made USA Today the #1 paper in America.

#2 is the Wall Street Journal with a circulation of 5,147,565 with its content rated very good, its political bias leaning right and its credibility high.

The Dallas Morning News is #12 with a circulation of 1,086,383 with its content rated very good, it's political bias leaning left and its credibility rated high.

Meanwhile on the west side of the D/FW Metroplex the Fort Worth Star-Telegram is #45 with a circulation of 532,774 with its content rated average, its political bias liberal and its credibility moderate. I would have rated its credibility low, but what do I know?

Seattle has 2 major papers, the Seattle Times is #39 with a circulation of 564,028, with its content rated average, its political bias leaning left and its credibility moderate. Just like the Star-Telegram. However, the Seattle P-I, #41 with a circulation of 428,245 is also rated average for content, with a left leaning political bias, with the P-I's credibility rated high. Unlike the Star-Telegram.

Seattle's population is a bit over 500,000 in a metro area of about 2.5 million. Seattle's 2 papers have a combined circulation of 992,273. Fort Worth has a population of about 670,000 in a metro area of about 6 million. Yet the Star-Telegram only circulates 532,774 papers daily. I don't know what to conclude from this, but I do remember Seattle being named as having America's highest number of book buyers and library users. So, maybe more people know how to read up there and so the town is able to support 2 major newspapers.

I won't bore you any more than I already have by listing the stats for more newspapers. Suffice to say there are other newspapers besides the Seattle P-I, Dallas Morning News and WS Journal who rank high for credibility. That quality is also shared by the Chicago Tribune, the Washington Post and others I'm sure. I'm too lazy to look at each of the 100 on the list.

Men Who Look Like Lesbians

This morning I looked at Google's Hot Trends list. The Hot Trends is what people are searching for. One of the Top 100 was "Men Who Look Like Lesbians." This seemed somehow sort of politically incorrect to me. And so it interested me. There are entire blogs and websites devoted to this subject.

And the #1 Man Lesbian on pretty much everyone's list is Bruce Jenner. There seems to be a consensus that no good comes from a man getting an eyelift. That and some men need to get testosterone booster shots when they reach a certain age.

All this seems sort of rude to me. Yet I do recollect blogging about Bruce Jenner's reality show, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and I do recollect commenting that Bruce and his butch wife look like a middle-aged lesbian couple. I've yet to find out how, besides his reality show, Bruce gets the money to live his extravagant lifestyle. I suspect he may have gotten a huge settlement from the plastic surgeon who botched his face.

Below, in no particular order, are some of the men who those devoted to this subject think look like semi-old lesbians. Some of them I can see why they think this, some others not so much.

Kyle MacLachlan

Clay Aiken

Rod Stewart

Roger Ebert

Tom Cruise

Matthew McConaughey

Bill Gates

Barry Manilow

Robert Redford

Paul McCartney

Al Franken

George W. Bush

Dennis Leary

Don Imus

Jon Bon Jovi

Ted Kennedy Has a Stroke.

No joke, he's had a stroke. Earlier in the week it made me feel like Rip Van Winkle to read that James Garner was 80 and that he had a stroke. And now to read that Teddy Kennedy is 76 and that this morning he was rushed from the Kennedy's Hyannisport Compound to Massaschussets General Hospital in Boston.

It seems like we've gone awhile without a sad thing happening to the Kennedy's. We are coming up on the June 6 anniversary of Bobby Kennedy's assassination in 1968.

Teddy has had some health issues. He has a slight weight problem. Last October he was operated on to remove a blockage in a neck artery. He has been on high blood pressure and cholesterol meds. Teddy has had a bad back ever since a plane crash in 1964, compounded by an accident that required a lot of alleged swimming and diving that is known as The Chappaquiddick Incident. After driving off a bridge into the Atlantic Ocean, Kennedy testified to diving 7 or 8 times in attempts to rescue his passenger, Mary Jo Kopechne. When he decided it was fruitless Kennedy swam to shore, exhausted, with an aching back.

I hope both Teddy and James Garner have full recoveries.

Month of May Memorial Day Texas Festivals

Today I'm going on my first BBQ Picnic of the year. We are in the sweet spot temperature wise here in Texas right now. Not too HOT, not too cold. Perfect picnic weather.

Texans aren't quite the outdoorsy sorts I was used to up in Washington. Parks and picnic tables are empty much of the year. Likely weather related. But come Memorial Day it seems pretty much every Texan is outside at a picnic table. A few years ago, on Memorial Day, I looked for a picnic table in 6 different parks before I finally found one.

So, start hunting early on Memorial Day if you want to be sure to have a picnic table with something to burn wood in.

One of the many things Texas does really well is the small town Texas Festival, Fair and Parade. I've been to parades in Fort Worth, Arlington, Granbury and Ennis. All good. I really like Granbury's festivals and parades. I've been to General Granbury's Birthday and Granbury's 4th of July. In Texas they somehow are able to get high school kids to participate, everyone from cheerleaders to the marching band to the football team. The Arlington 4th of July Parade had at least 4 high school's marching bands. Impressive.

The Ennis National Polka Festival is another good one. The parade is very amusing. My chief researcher sent me info about some of the upcoming Texas events, including the Ennis Polka Festival, with all the details you could possibly need. I'll copy that below.

May 23-25, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Ennis: 42nd Annual National Polka Festival. National Polka Festival celebrates Ennis' Czech heritage with 13 live polka bands, Polkfest 5K run, Czech food, horseshoe tournament, king and queen dance, arts, crafts, special country concert and more. Time: Fri. 7-11pm, Sat 10am-12:30am, Sun. 11am-11pm. Cost: Free for downtown activities; $7-11 per day for admission to dance halls. Location: Downtown Ennis and at KC Hall, Sokol Hall, and KJT Hall in Ennis. Region: Texas Prairies and Lakes. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 972-878-4748 or visit http://www.visitennis.org/; http://www.nationalpolkafestival.com/. Held annually, Memorial Day Weekend.

May 23-24, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Fredericksburg: Crawfish Festival. Join us for great Cajun food, music and fun. Mouth-watering crawfish plates, red potatoes, corn, Jambalaya & fried fish plates. Kids area, shopping area. Time: Friday 6pm-12 midnight, Saturday 11am-12 midnight. Cost: $6 Adults, $1 for kids 12/Under. Two-day passes $10. Location: Marktplatz, 100 block, West Main Street. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 1-866-TEX-FEST (839-3378) or visit http://www.tex-fest.com/. Held annually, Memorial Day Weekend.

May 23-25, 2008 - EXHIBIT - Kerrville: 5th Annual TX Masters of Fine Art & Craft Invitational Exhibition. A high-quality exhibition of 20 of the finest professional artists and craftspeople from all over Texas. Reception May 24 from 2-4pm. Time: Fri. 12-8pm.; Sat. 10am-8pm.; Sun. 10am-6pm. Cost: no admission charge. Location: Y.O. Resort Hotel, 2033 Sidney Baker, Kerrville. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call (214) 328-6382 or visit http://www.texasmasters.com/.

May 23-25, 2008 - SPORTING EVENT - Bandera: Cowboy Capital Rodeo Association Pro Rodeo. Performances Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings, at Mansfield Park, Bandera, Texas. Cost: yes. Location: Mansfield Park. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 830-796-7207 or visit http://www.banderarodeo.com/. Held annually, end of May.

May 23-25, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Llano: 3rd Annual "Texas Proud" Festival. Gunfighters, varmints, chuckwagons, trail bosses, John Wayne and more turn Llano into a Texas Living History happening. Time: All day. Cost: none. Location: Main Street. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 325-247-5354 or visit http://www.llanochamber.org/. Held annually, 3rd weekend in May.

May 23-26, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Bandera: The Best In Texas Festival And Chili Cook Off. An annual festival celebrating all the things that make Texas great. Fun for the whole family including Great Texas Music, Arts, Crafts, Cook Offs, Carnival Rides, Food and Libations. Each day includes performances by several of the best bands Texas has to offer on two stages. Time: Friday Times Vary Daily. Cost: One day tickets - $30 for any 1 day. Location: Bandera Downs 2303 State Hwy 16, Bandera, TX. 78003. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 972-690-6099 or visit http://www.bestintexasfest.com/. Held Annually, Memorial Day Weekend.

May 23-26, 2008 - FAIR - Kerrville: The Official Texas State Arts & Crafts Fair. A four-day fair full of arts, crafts, live music, food and fun for the whole family. Ceramics, pottery, glass, wood, jewelry, metalwork, photography and more from Craftsmen around TX. Time: Fri 4-8pm.; Sat/Sun 10am-6pm.; Mon. 10am-4pm. Cost: see web site. Location: River Star Arts & Event Park, 4000 Riverside Dr., Kerrville. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: 50,000-200,000. For more information, call (830) 896-5711 or visit http://www.tacef.org/. Annual event held over Memorial Day weekend.

Bubbly Lulu's Bubble Bracelets

One of my very best non-Texas friends used to be Lulu.

I may have mentioned Lulu before. Lulu's Headquarters is up in Tacoma.

I'll be seeing Lulu in a couple months when I arrive to perform an important duty. And see my mom and dad whom I've not seen in over 2 years.

Lulu is well known in the Northwest as an Arts and Craftster and as a Flea Market Diva.

Lulu is currently getting ready for a big show, something called the Farm Chicks, in Spokane.

Lulu has a new hit item made with these things she calls Bubble Charms. Most of Lulu's stuff I don't quite get. But I think these Bubble things look cool.

Lulu keeps getting hit with fresh orders for Bubble Necklaces and Bubble Bracelets. A couple days ago she was moaning about a new huge order from a gallery in Seattle.

UPDATE: After my disastrous visit to Tacoma in July and August I had no choice but to terminate my business and personal relationship with Lulu. I wish her well in the rest of her life. But it will be without me in it.

Plano Texas Prestonwood Baptist Church Minister Sex Scandal

Can we not go a week here in Texas without a church scandal? There is just way too much of it. I know part of the reason it seems like a non-stop series of scandals is you have about 6 million people living in this relatively small area. As in there are more people living in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex than the entire state of Washington.

So, you read about any crime thing that happens in a 50 mile radius. In Washington I could be oblivious about something happening in Spokane. I never knew about the Spokane Serial Killer til I read a book about it a couple months ago. My side of the mountains focused on the Green River Killer while the Spokane Killer was not on the radar. In all the years I've been in the D/FW zone I don't recollect a single serial killer.

But, there have been plenty of ministers doing dirty deeds. The latest one is Prestonwood Baptist Minister, Joe David Barron, 52. He drove 3 hours from Plano to Bryan, Texas, armed with condoms, to have sex with a 13 year old girl. Plano is a suburb north of Dallas near where J.R. Ewing pretended to live at Southfork. Police searched Joe David's car and found the condoms. And some religious CDs.

Do none of these perps ever watch To Catch a Predator on TV?

In Texas they have these gigantic churches called megachurches. That is the interior of Prestonwood Baptist on the right. The megachurches are sort of shocking the first time you see them. There is one church compound on Lake Eaglemountain that has its own airstrip and fleet of planes. It's been the source of many a scandal. But no sex scandals that I can recall.

The Prestonwood Baptist Megachurch has over 26,000 members, with 40 ministers. One less now. I hope.

Ellen and Portia Getting Married in California

I mentioned yesterday that California had joined Texas in allowing same sex marriages. The Texas method is very informal. But in California you can now do the whole Big Wedding thing with a license and all the trimmings.

So, rumor has it that longtime Funny Girl Ellen DeGeneres and longtime Pretty Girl Portia de Rossi apparently became engaged during the Friday taping of The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

As some of you know, I spent some time as a lesbian back in 2000. It was a happy time. During my time as a woman I never met anyone I wanted to get married to though, certainly no one as cute as Ellen and Portia, Portia especially. I remember when she showed up as the HOT new girl on Ally McBeal.

I wonder if these new type celebrity marriages are going to be fodder for some new reality shows? I imagine VH1 is exploring the possibilities even as I type. MTV already had a Bachelor type lesbian find a mate show called A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. Now, a fresh Shot at Love could end in marriage. On the Tila Tequila show it could end in a conventional wedding because Tila swung 2 ways. Half her possible mates were guys, half were girls.

It was a very tasteful show. Tila's been in Penthouse and hosted a show called Pants-Off Dance-Off. I did not see that one. Nor do I think I care to.

Tila Tequila was raised in Houston. That's in Texas. I don't recollect the Fort Worth Star-Telegram pointing that out over and over again. They must have been ashamed by that particular local connection.

Chamberlain, Hitler, Appeasement and an Idiot Named Kevin James

Pet Peeve. Loudmouth know-it-alls who spout clueless nonsense. King George yesterday in Israel made reference to the appeasement of Hitler in 1938. Bush was a tad non-specific on the details, but it sounded like it was a dig at Obama.

Last night on Hardball on MSNBC Chris Matthews had 2 guests, one of whom was a conservative radio yammerer named Kevin James.

Kevin James was really loud with a real loudmouth affect, like he thought the louder he shouted the more his nonsense made sense. He was way too animated which made him seem even stupider.

After a couple minutes of it Chris Matthews had had enough and in one of the more amusing things I've seen of late he asked this Kevin James moron what Neville Chamberlain did in 1938.

It was so obvious this James guy had absolutely no clue as to why the word appeasement and Neville Chamberlain are tied together. He also did not understand that Obama's "talk to our enemies" idea is not what appeasement is.

In other words, Kevin James seems to be yet one more sad example of our need to improve our education system.

How can a grown American not know the history of WWII?

Sadly, I know many, many, many, way too many, don't have a clue about our nation's history. That's how a fear-mongering president can blow way out of proportion a bad problem, that being barbaric, backward terrorists, and cause people to think we are facing the worst enemy we've ever faced.

Today is the best of times compared to the hell that was World War II. There are no Hitlers in today's world who feel they can invade other countries without getting in trouble for it.

The only country that today comes close to Hitlerian Blitzkrieging is the world's sole Hyperpower. There is currently no other nation on earth that would dare launch an invasion and takeover of another country due to the fear that that country might have some dangerous weapons.

So, Obama wants to talk to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not asking to have a section of Afghanistan returned to Iran. Or a piece of Iraq. If he were, and if Neville Obama were to meet with Ahmadinejad several times, discussing the Iranians demands for more land, and if Neville Obama were to give in to the Iranians demands and agree that the Iranian army could occupy the disputed territories, that would be appeasement.

Barack Obama has not said or done anything remotely reflective of appeasement. The United States has a long history of talking to and negotiating with our enemies. We were talking to the Japanese even as bombs began to fall on Pearl Harbor.

A couple weeks ago I finished the longest book I've ever read. John Tolan's biography of Adolf Hiter. It is considered the definitive Hitler biography. I know more now about Hitler than I ever cared to know. I was somehow going to mix into this appeasement missive how America's conquering of the Indians was one of Hitler's inspirations.

I'll save that for another day. In the meantime watch this YouTube video of yesterday's Chris Matthews Smackdown of a foolish tool.