Is Fort Worth Actually Repeating Last Year's Slide The City Debacle?

Elsie Hotpepper sent that which you see here to my phone this morning.

With no explanation regarding that which I was looking at.

Am I to intuit from this that America's Biggest Boondoggle, also known as the Trinity River Central City Uptown Panther Island Vision, is actually foisting that Slide the City thing on Fort Worth again?

After last year's debacle?

Water pump malfunctions. Heat exhaustion causing medical emergencies. I forget what else, except for remembering a lot of people were not happy.

I also remember other towns cancelling Slide the City for various reasons.

Seattle was one of the cancelling towns. I forget all the reasons. If I remember right one was liability concerns. Another was a lack of interest. Was another the fact that Slide the City had turned into a debacle in other towns?

I remember way back when I learned Seattle had signed on to being one of the towns hosting the Slide the City thing opining that I did not see how that could possibly work, what with the Seattle hills being so steep, what with there being a lot of outdoor water attractions in Seattle, that a giant slide would likely illicit a collective yawn.

While in Fort Worth I think, even with last year's Slide the City being a debacle, it still broke the record for number of people sliding.

Which seemed to me should have been some sort of sad indicator of the fact that there really are not a lot of things to do in Fort Worth of the fun in water in the outdoors sort.

Another example of that is the fact that there is no way you could get hundreds of Seattleites to float on inner tubes in a polluted river drinking beer and listening to music, while in Fort Worth America's Biggest Boondoggle, all summer long, hosts floating beer parties in the polluted Trinity River.

Now featuring alligators.

Fort Worth needs a real visionary with the vision to initiate digging Fort Worth a large pond of water filled with actual clean water which Fort Worthers could float and swim in. Wouldn't that be something?

And lose the Slide the City thing. It's embarrassing....

I Did Not Know Seattle Pulled The Plug On Slide The City

Before throwing it away, I once again thumbed through the latest quarterly update from America's Biggest Boondoggle. I wanted to make sure there was no mention made of the Cowtown Wakepark.

You know, the world's premiere urban wakeboard park which J.D. Granger said would give the locals the chance to participate in the fun sport of wakeboarding. Predictably, Cowtown Wakepark is now closed, awaiting "new management". Previously Boondoggle Updates made plenty of mentions about the wonders of the Cowtown Wakepark.

So, whilst thumbing through The Boondoggle's Update I once again saw the pages devoted to last summer's Slide the City event where thousands paid good money to slide a couple thousand feet down Main Street. I opined at the time that this should concern people as being an indicator that there are not enough fun things to do in the Fort Worth zone. Thousands sliding down a waterslide? Thousands inner tubing in a polluted river? It's just pitiful.

When I saw The Boondoggle's photos of the Fort Worth Slide the City event I remembered Seattle was supposed to also have a Slide the City event this past summer. I Googled to quickly learn the Seattle Slide the City event had been cancelled,  with Spokane and the Tri-Cities cancelling as well, all for pretty much the same reason.

Reasons of the sort which don't concern Fort Worth public officials, regarding the quality of water the city encourages its people to play in.

The screen cap above was from something called Geekwire.

A blurb from the Seattle Times article about pulling the plug, titled Huge Water Slide Won't Be Coming To Seattle This Year which explains the reasons for not allowing the City to Slide...

Slide the City, an event agency that rolls out 1,000-foot vinyl water slides in cities across the country, will not be coming to Seattle, Spokane and the Tri-Cities this summer because the company didn’t obtain necessary approval from county and state departments of health.

After reviewing the application, the state health department had questions regarding the water’s level of chlorine and ability to prevent illness, the safety of a portion of the slide that allows multiple people and the company’s plans for treating water before it empties into a Columbia River storm drain.

In a July 9 letter, the department asked for clarification on contamination, water-pressure levels and what hours and day the company hoped to plan the event.

King County health authorities, as well as officials from other jurisdictions, worked with the state department to evaluate the water-slide proposals.

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Those stupid Washington government officials can be such kill joys. Worrying about public safety and water quality, in an area which has no water of the dirty, polluted Trinity River sort.....

Did Fort Worth's Mayor Slide The City In An Itsy Betsy Bikini?

A few minutes ago an incoming blog comment from someone named Anonymous led me to soon seeing hundreds upon hundreds of photos of Saturday's Fort Worth Slide the City Panther Fest event which went all the way from disaster with medical emergencies to ending the day having broken a Guinness Book World Record, the nature of which I still have not been able to determine.

Looking at all the photos of so many people seeming to be having themselves a mighty fine time getting ready to slide, or sliding down the 2,000 foot long waterslide, I really did not know what to think.

Is the large throng willing to pay a hefty fee to do such a thing an indicator that there is a great lacking in amusing things to do in the Fort Worth zone?

The comment from Mr. or Ms. Anonymous....

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Saturday's Fort Worth City Slide Went From Disaster To Mysterious Guinness World Record Breaking Event":

Rare J.D. Granger sighting in photo #111. Betsy Price is in photo #173. These pics are from Slide-The-City. Fortunately Dennis Shingleton didn't show up and drop trou.

DFW.com Slide the City Slideshow

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I know I've been told why we should be grateful when Dennis Shingleton keeps his pants on, but I've forgotten the details.

As for Betsy Price being in photo #173, it turned out Betsy was in the photo previous to that one, #172.

As I neared the Betsy number in the slide show I had no small fear that I was about to be scarred for life by an image of Fort Worth's mayor in an Itsy Betsy Bikini.

Turns out I had nothing to be afraid of.

Did Betsy actually slide the slide? And who is the young man in purple, next to Betsy, to whom Betsy is directing her charismatic smile? Is Betsy Price married? I have no idea. Is she single and Fort Worth's version of Madonna? Dating young men a fraction of her age?

I also had some concern that when I got to the J.D. Granger photo I would be subjected to the sight of Kay Granger's baby boy in a speedo getting ready to slide.

Turns out, it appears J.D. Granger has kept intact his record of never getting the polluted Trinity River water on his sensitive skin. Not via the Slide the City thing, or getting in the water during one of those notorious Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats in the Trinity River.

I have no idea what that is that Mr. Granger is holding. Is it the official document documenting that a Guinness World Record had been set? Is that guy in a suit, next to J.D., the Guinness representative?

It might be useful if DFW.com had some informational text to go along with its endless collection of pictures.

Saturday's Fort Worth City Slide Went From Disaster To Mysterious Guinness World Record Breaking Event

Well now, is this not a classic case of turning a lemon into lemonade?

Saturday morning the Slide the City Panther Fest event was deemed a disaster.

And then, later on that disastrous day, the Slide in the City of Fort Worth set a world record in the Guinness Book of Records.

That is a screen cap of this momentous news, from the Star-Telegram, which you see here.

I am unable to read the article explaining how the slipping and sliding in Fort Worth set a world record, due to me not being willing to pay the Star-Telegram their requested reading fee.

Was the record due to a world record number of people sliding on a water slide in an allotted period of time?

Was the record due to a world record amount of money being raised by such an event?

Was the record due to a world record distance slid?

Was the record due to a world record number of people willing to slide on water which came, un-treated, from a polluted river?

Those are my four guesses as to what sort of world record could have been set yesterday in Fort Worth via a long slip and slide....

Fort Worth Panther Fest Slide The City Fails While Boondoggle Patrons Faint From The Heat

What you are looking here is a screen cap from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram's online front page.

I checked the Star-Telegram after getting a text message telling me that the Panther Fest Slide the City operation had malfunctioned. But the beer and music part of the event would carry on.

Then a few minutes later I got an email telling me that Panther Fest is now a Multi-Injury Event, with MedStar deploying its AmBus multi-patient bus to North Main Street to assist with multiple people injured at Slide the City.

A few minutes later another email told me that the injuries are not water slide related, they are heat related. Multiple rehab units have now been deployed to help cool people down.

And just seconds ago another malfunction message, this one via a blog comment...

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "On The Tandy Hills Finding A Hoodoo Towering Above The Fort Worth Skyline": 

SNAFU at the Slide Fest / Pantherfest. Dud Kennedy's Twitter page has the story. 

Film at 11. Belay my last. Film at 10 or not. Probably not. Who knows. 

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I have no idea what "Belay my last." means.

So, this latest Trinity River Central City Panther Island Vision Boondoggle product is one more rousing success.

I don't know why it did not occur to anyone that something might go awry with some out of state alleged charity operation coming to town to quickly set up a 2,000 foot long water slide running down Fort Worth's Main Street over the Paddock Bridge.

I heard yesterday that the slides had sold out. If I remember right sliding cost something like 25 bucks.

Sold out? Would that be a thousand slide tickets sold? Ten thousand?

How do the victims of this latest product of America's Biggest  Boondoggle get a refund?