Revenge Of The Life Changing Events

I can be easily amused. I can be entertained by observing screwy oddball behavior. I know a hot-blooded Latina with the stereotypical Latin bad temper, a person of the sort, usually, I would have put long ago into the reject pile. But, for some reason I find it funny to watch, like it's performance art and I'm just watching, I'm not really there in the room.

I used to know this real oddball who would repeat the same behaviors over and over again, with no self-awareness that she was doing so. Time and again this person would claim to have had a Life Changing Moment. It could be a book, a movie, a TV show, a new person she met who is like the brother, sister, cousin, whatever she never had. Just about anything could be a Life Changing Moment.

What made it funny was this particular person's life never noticeably changed, not in the improving sort of way. The Life Changing Moments never seemed to put the brakes on increasing the level of morbid obesity, ending the personal slovenliness, including living like a pig in a sty.

The series of Life Changing Events brought this person from a reasonably healthy weight, living in a nice house, to being so big she has to go in sideways to squeeze into that pigsty I already mentioned.

Now that I'm thinking about it, this same person, with all the Life Changing Events, happening to a life that's a living train wreck, also has an interesting method of getting revenge, when she perceives, via her drug-addled, distorted thinking, that someone has somehow done her wrong. She erupts into a big nonsensical, neurotic, angry upset, which causes the object of her insanity to have no choice but to reject her. She then goes through a series of followup behaviors that are as predictable as the sun, including saying that, "The best revenge is a life well lived."

Which leads the object of the "revenge" to be amused and ponder how a hugely obese, horribly homely person, who lives like a slob, in clutter and filth, who has all sorts of legal problems hanging overhead like a Sword of Damocles that can come cutting down at any random time, how can such a person be so cluelessly self-unaware as to say their best revenge is to live a good life?

That's just funny. If that's a good life, please don't let me ever see what a bad life looks like.

It's like this same person can casually say something or someone is ugly, can comment on someone else's looks in the rudest of manners, directly to the object of her rudeness. And yet this person has to have steel reinforced mirrors, so they don't crack when she looks in them. Dogs barks, children cry, men shrivel, when the hulking behemoth comes into view.

It's like on the old Mary Tyler Moore Show, at one point Murray said something was stupid. Ted Baxter bristled and said something like, "I don't know what it is, but there is something I don't like about that word, stupid."

Ted sort of knew he was stupid. He knew that was not a safe word for him to be using, lest it cause him to be the brunt of a joke. Which is what makes it perplexing as to why a rather homely, ugly type person would so easily use the "ugly" word.

Now, please understand, I generally do not comment on someone's looks. Or say someone is ugly. But if that person does not subscribe to the same good manners, they are fair game. So, if you are ugly, talking about other people or things being ugly. Well, I'm likely somehow gonna mention that you are not one to talk about ugly, if the situation arises where it seems appropriate. Particularly if the person is even uglier inside than out. Then they really are fair game.

Now, I've gotta haul my fat ugly carcass out of this pigpen and go do something aerobic on steep hills, now that it has warmed up to being in the 60s. Going to be in the low 20s tonight. Not happy about that.

Kathy Griffin: Life On The D-List

Last night my TV viewing was again on Bravo TV. The always amusing, Kathy Griffin in her My Life on the D-List show.

I made it through 2 episodes, bailing by the time I got to the new episode.

In the first hour Kathy and her entourage went to Sidney, Australia on something called the Pink Flight, which consisted of a plane full of drag queens on their way to the Aussie Mardis Gras.

On the plane Kathy passed out her D-List Condoms and encouraged the fliers to join the mile high club. I'd never seen so much boisterous activity on an airplane. At one point there was a "Who has the Best Chest" contest, where bare-chested drag queens paraded down the aisle. Kathy then took her top off and did the same. I suspect she won the contest, but we did not see the result.

When they got to Sidney, Kathy and entourage met up with Lance Bass. Much double-entendre humor ensued. They all went to a zoo where they got to pet a kaola bear, which was very cute, and play with kangaroos and a giant snake. Kathy made a number of giant snake jokes, mostly directed at Lance Bass.

Then Kathy met up with Margaret Cho and Cindy Lauper to pick out a Mardis Gras costume. Kathy was offput to learn that Margaret was the Grand Marshall of the parade. Margaret invited Kathy to ride on her float. Kathy said she would. But when Kathy and entourage got to the parade they could not find Margaret's float. So Kathy and group just hopped on other floats or just walked along hoping someone would recognize her. Eventually, due to her own camera crew following her, Aussie news crews started interviewing Kathy as she marched along.

And so her goal of getting some more Aussie publicity had been reached. She was in Australia to promote her D-List show which was about to premiere on Australia's biggest network.

In the second hour it was all about being banned, again, from ABC's The View. And going to New York City to perform at Madison Square Garden. Before going to New York City, Kathy and entourage dropped in on Rosie O'Donnel, who is oddly obsessed with arts and craftsing.

Kathy told Rosie about her sad banning from The View. Rosie, having experienced similar bannings, asked what happened. Apparently, off camera Kathy had mentioned, to Barbara, something about KY Jelly, to which Barbara Walters replied that she preferred Astroglide. Kathy then worked that into her Bravo Special Straight to Hell, which aired right before she was to re-appear on The View. When Barbara learned Kathy had shared Barbara's Astroglide secret with the world, she ordered Kathy banned. Kathy is quite proud of being banned twice from the same show. She believes it is a show business first.

Of course, Kathy has now worked the banning, not only into her comedy routine, like at Madison Square Garden, it's also mentioned over and over again on the show. If they'd just gone ahead and had Kathy back on The View, I would never have had the unfortunate mental image of Barbara Walters and Astroglide etched into my memory.

To get publicity in New York City, Kathy was ordained as a minister and officiated at the wedding of an amusing pair, who told her she could say anything, nothing was off limits, but the word titties. So, of course, Kathy told the wedding crowd that she'd been told she could "say anything but titties, so I won't be mentioning titties during the wedding service, because for some reason the bride and groom do not like titties."

When the ring bearer brought the ring, Kathy stopped the proceeedings and asked why this was a grown man, instead of the usual little kid ring bearer. The groom told Kathy that because she was the minister no kids were allowed at the wedding.

Two hours of Kathy Griffin and her Life on the D-List show goes by real fast. I find her very amusing. Though I do grow a bit tired of so many word bleepings on Bravo TV. It ain't like you don't know exactly what they are saying.

I forgot to mention an amusing thing. While they were at Rosie's, Rosie asked Kathy for a favor. Knowing that Kathy was dating Apple Billionaire Steve Wozniak, Rosie wondered if Kathy could ask The Woz if he could get her into some online hi-tech seminar, that is very exclusive and to which she'd had no luck getting in. Rosie said she give Kathy anything she wants.

Anything? Yes, Anything. Well, Kathy said. Wait, Rosie said, I know what it is you will want. You want to meet Cher. Is that it? Yes, Kathy said. So, Rosie promised front row seats at Cher's show in Vegas, an overnight state in a penthouse suite and a backstage visit with Cher. Deal. Kathy then called Wozniak and he instantly said no problem. Rosie was elated. As was Kathy.

How can you not like a girl who can call Steve Wozniak on a whim and get what she wants?

Here's a video from a show from a couple weeks ago.......