Amusing Bass Static Over New Downtown Fort Worth Hooters

Last week's Fort Worth Weekly Static column Who’s Against Hooters? told us about Ed Bass being behind the attempt to constrain the opening of a Hooters in downtown Fort Worth.

This week's Fort Worth Weekly Static column Chest Having Fun is mostly a tongue in cheek apology for supposedly erroneously blaming Ed Bass for the anti-Hooters Conspiracy.

This week's Static column is sort of a look at how Fort Worth's shadow government works, with Ed Bass and the Bass family having way too much control over that which they seem to treat as their personal fiefdom.

I've long thought Fort Worth would be better off if it did some things on its own, like a city wearing its big boy pants does, rather than relying on the Bass family. Yes, I know, many locals think the Bass family has done wonders for Fort Worth and have no problem with the family imposing their personal tastes on the town.

Or slapping their names on the results of their largess. I know many people think the Bass Performance Hall is a wonder to behold. But to me it looks out of place, and sort of weird with those giant trumpet blowing angels stuck to the front of the building.

I digress, back to Static.

For a long long time I verbalized my perplexation regarding downtown Fort Worth having signs pointing to something called Sundance Square, where there was no square, thus confusing Fort Worth's few out of town tourists.

Eventually I was informed that there was no square in Sundance Square, that Sundance Square was a downtown development scheme run by the Bass Family.

After decades of downtown Fort Worth embarrassing itself, due to there being no square in Sundance Square, a square was finally built on one of the parking lots which many had assumed was Sundance Square, and then goofily, redundantly named Sundance Square Plaza.

So, now there is a plaza in Sundance Square.

Now, what did I learn in this week's FW Weekly Static column that I did not know before? Well, I learned that that which is still known as Sundance Square is even more convoluted and odd than I realized.

Read the entire Chest Having Fun  Static column to get the entire amusing scope of the Bass Sundance Square ridiculousness after you read the following paragraphs gleaned from the column.....

Last week, Static discussed how billionaire businessman Ed Bass was behind an organized push to keep a particular breastaurant out of downtown. We also wondered why the people who created the Facebook page Say NO to Hooters in Downtown Fort Worth (2,000 “likes” and counting) were so upset about the well-established wings chain featuring scantily clad female servers when another breastaurant, Ojos Locos, has been operating in Sundance Square for several years.

That prompted a Sundance Square spokesperson to ask for a correction. Seems Ojos Locos is not located in Sundance Square.

Anyone who has visited Ojos Locos would swear they were in Sundance Square. The sports bar with barely dressed female servers is located at 515 Houston St., and it sits next door to Milan Gallery (505 Houston St.), which is billed as being in Sundance Square.

As it turns out, streets, blocks, borders, and addresses don’t define Sundance Square, the downtown wining/dining/shopping haven and brainchild of the Bass family. Your business is considered a part of the exclusive district only if you lease space in a building owned by Sundance Square Inc., a real estate management company whose employees oversee more than 40 downtown buildings, all owned by the Basses.

___________________________

The anti-Hooters Bass Conspiracy has made itself a Facebook page titled SAY NO to HOOTERS in DOWNTOWN FORT WORTH.

After FW Weekly's Static made mention of the hypocrisy of the Bass anti-Hooters being against a Hooters in Sundance Square, while another Hooters-like restaurant named Ojos Locos seemed to be operating in Sundance Square, the anti-Hooters Facebook page was re-titled SAY NO to HOOTERS & OJOS LOCOS in DOWNTOWN FORT WORTH.

How did downtown Fort Worth suddenly get so prudish? The downtown used to host one of the most notorious red light districts in the world.

Known as Hell's Half Acre.

With dozens of bordellos and saloons. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid frequented Fort Worth to visit Hell's Half Acre, so much so that that is why Sundance Square is so-named.

What would Butch and Sundance think of Fort Worth now? The town run by prudes trying to run restaurants out of downtown simply due to the slightly revealing nature of a restaurant's waitress uniforms.

This is an appalling state of affairs....

I Love Downtown Fort Worth & The Biggest Comic Strip In Texas That Surrounds Sundance Square

Fairly frequently, I think due to me being such a big booster of Downtown Fort Worth, I get email from Downtown Fort Worth, Inc.

I got one of those emails yesterday. It was via that email I saw the cool new logo and slogan for Downtown Fort Worth.

From the Downtown Fort Worth Inc. website...

It's hard to describe Downtown Fort Worth in a few words. But one thing's for sure: "You Get It When You Get Here." Go ahead, take a look around, then come and see the real thing.

Get what? I'm not quite sure. You might get something if you join in on one of Downtown Fort Worth's J.D. Granger Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats.

Look around, and then come see the real thing? What real thing? I have no idea.

I have to say, the Downtown Fort Worth Inc. website is very well done. With a lot of information.

In the What We Do: NEWS section I learned that, after years of having no square in Sundance Square, construction has begun on a public plaza on Main Street between 3rd and 4th Streets.

Finally there will be a square in Sundance Square, after perplexing tourists for way too long in their futile search for the formerly non-existent square.

The Biggest Comic Strip in Texas has been built as a construction fence to keep prying eyes from seeing Sundance Square as it is being constructed. The construction fence/comic strip covers 36 panels, 7 feet tall by 16 feet wide. The biggest comic strip in Texas is Sundance Kid themed, in two parts, with part one being about the early 1900s era when the Sundance Kid, Butch Cassidy and the Hole in the Wall Gang wandered around Fort Worth's Hell's Half Acre, before it got covered with a Convention Center.

I'm not sure I understand part two of the biggest comic strip in Texas. From what I can glean, somehow the Sundance Kid finds himself back in modern times after an otherworldly mishap.

Does this mean the Sundance Kid finds himself back in 2012 downtown Fort Worth? Appalled at its current condition, with none of the saloons, bordellos and casinos he'd previously enjoyed in Hell's Half Acre and mad as hell that his name has been used to name a bunch of parking lots Sundance Square? And then uses his Super Hero powers to build a real square?

Also in the What We Do: NEWS section there is an article about a DFWI Luncheon for the Love of Cities that asks the question "How many times have you heard someone say "I love Fort Worth!" when talking about our city?"

I can quite honestly say I can not remember the last time I heard anyone say "I love Fort Worth!"

If ever.

After the article asks the I love Fort Worth question, the next paragraph informs us....

Downtown Fort Worth and the surrounding urban areas have seen a remarkable renaissance in the last decade.  Urban-focused blogs, grass root street events, innovative gatherings and a renewed interest in city life are changing the way people who love Fort Worth express that love. This is a wonderful byproduct of Fort Worth’s growth…the increased engagement of our neighbors in the life and future of their central city.

Have I ever mentioned what a HUGE fan I am of propaganda? I guess I don't have to mention it. It is sort of obvious, I would think, that I am a HUGE fan of propaganda. The more outrageously exaggerated, the better!

Early Wednesday Morning Thinking About Paris & JD Granger's Streetcar Named Conspire

The early morning of November 17 and it is yet one more clear blue sky day in Texas.

My aching ol' man rheumatis' joints did not pain me last night like the night before. I appreciate that.

The Golden Years of Senior Citizenship aren't all that Golden.

According to my mom.

As I slip ever closer to being an Old Man, I understand what my mom means.

On a completely different note, Gar the Texan has me thinking about Paris. I can't remember the last time I was in Paris. Gar had himself a fine time there, recently, with the French doing their striking hobby and other insolent behaviors.

Meanwhile, again on a totally different note, over on the Star-Telegraph, Adrian Murray sent the S-T an amusingly on target rant about JD Granger's bizarre claim that the proposed Fort Worth Streetcar Named Conspire has somehow always been part of the Trinity River Vision Boondoggle.

Methinks JD Granger is way way brighter than any of us detractors give him credit for. He has obviously figured out that the powers that be are paying no attention to his shenanigans. And those of us who have made note of the obviously corrupt boondoggly shenanigans, are people no one, who matters, pays any attention to.

At this point in time it would not shock me if ground was broken on the Trinity River Vision Bordello homage to the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, with JD Granger claiming it has always been part of the vision and with JD first in line at the grand opening.

Fort Worth thinks it is "Where the West Begins," with a proud history of lawlessness, which used to be contained in an area known as Hell's Half Acre, but which now encompasses all of downtown and beyond.

It's appalling. But no one who matters seems to notice or care.

Sad, sad situation.

I wonder what good deeds JD Granger is up to today....

Bonnie & Clyde In The Fort Worth Stockyards

It seems like I recently blogged about Bonnie & Clyde murdering cops in Grapevine. I don't remember why this was on my mind. I remember searching for a picture of the notorious pair.

No. That is not Bonnie & Clyde in the picture. That is Gar the Texan and his future wife. They are in Booger Reds Saloon, in the Fort Worth Stockyards, looking at the huge rear of a buffalo sticking out of the wall above the bar, with the buffalo's head sticking out the east wall of the H3 Ranch Restaurant next door.

The young lovers are sitting on bar stools with saddles as seats. Above them, in the Stockyards Hotel, is Room 305, also known as the Bonnie & Clyde Suite, because Bonnie & Clyde spent some time there during a break in their crime spreeing.

I forgot to mention, at Booger Reds you can get yourself a bucket of Buffalo Butt Beer. It's the best Buffalo Butt Beer I've had anywhere.

We celebrate all the criminals who have made Fort Worth home. Our Downtown Square, or what some uncultured people might call a bunch of parking lots, is named Sundance Square, because Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid found safe haven in Fort Worth's Hell's Half Acre.

I believe you can currently stay at Miss Etta's Place in downtown Fort Worth. Miss Etta was the girlfriend of Sundance, or was it Butch? Maybe both.

You can drink adult beverages at a lounge in Fort Worth named after Lee Harvey Oswald, called the Ozzie Rabbit Lodge. What other town can make that claim? Or wants to.

During Prohibition Fort Worth had a very thriving organized crime business, centered mainly on the Thunder Road section of the Jacksboro highway, which is a bit north and west of downtown. All sorts of crime, from murders to rigged poker games to bootleg booze to a lot of hookers, thrived in this part of Fort Worth. I believe Hell's Half Acre had been cleaned up by the point in time when America foolishly tried to stop the flow of alcohol. So, the bad boys were already gone from that locale when Thunder Road became the new Hellish part of Fort Worth.

Anyway, I thought I'd share the new thing I learned today, that being that Bonnie & Clyde slept at the Stockyards Hotel and may have done some drinking from the same bucket of Buffalo Butt Beer as me.