HOT Tandy Hill Hiking Today While Drinking Heavily

It is 97.9 out there, right now, with 35% humidity making for a HEAT INDEX of 103. I was slightly cooler when I hiked the Tandy Hills today around noon.

That's the new highway through Tandy Hill's Emerald Forest, looking north, in the picture.

I am now up to 6 bottles of water on my Hot Hill Hiking Excursions. Each bottle holds 16.9 ounces. That seems like a lot of water.

I wish we'd get to the dry desert type HEAT, with no humidity. If you're in Death Valley at 120, you drink constantly, do not sweat, do not need restroom stops. Now that is pleasant heat.

I know we never get to zero Death Valley-like no humidity here, but the air can get drier. I'm sure I remember correctly that the heat did not feel as HOT as this summer's HEAT feels.

Change of the HOT subject to something cool. The other day my Phoenix sister mentioned jello having become one of her help with the heat enjoyments. I'd not had jello in years. I've never really cared for it. Or the odd things people do with jello, or stick in jello.

So, after my sister mentioned jello to me I opened a cupboard and what do I see? Four boxes of jello. two Mandarin orange, one white grape, one lime. I made a Mandarin orange/lime batch of jello. For awhile I thought I'd screwed up what seemed to be a very simple thing to make, because when I'd move the container, containing the jello, it seemed to still be liquid. By the next day I figured out that what I thought was liquid was jello jiggling.

It turns out my sister was right. Jello is a nice refreshing heat antidote. Particularly topped with vanilla yogurt.

I'm heading out in the HEAT again. Armed with more bottles of water. And a HOT attitude.

The World Has Nacogdoches Texas To Thank For The Marx Brothers

Very early in the last century, some say it was 1907, some say it happened as late as 1917, but, regardless of the imprecision regarding the date, it is fairly universally acknowledged that an event occurred in Nacogdoches out in the Piney Woods Region of East Texas, that turned the Marx Brothers into their own special brand of improvised comic genius.

Before the Marx Brothers got to Texas they'd been just one more Vaudeville act, with their main focus being on music, with a few lame jokes thrown in.

And then in the middle of a matinee performance in the Nacogdoches Opera House and Theater, someone ran into the theater, interrupting the Marx Brothers performance, to shout the news that a runaway mule was rampaging down the street in front of the theater.

The theater emptied as the locals went to watch the spectacle of the runaway mule. The Marx Brothers followed. Eventually the locals made it back to their seats.

Groucho was now very grouchy. To vent his aggravation Groucho started making fun of Nacogdoches and its boorish, provincial people. Groucho had broken totally from their canned performance and was in full ad lib mode. The Marx Brothers as the world came to know them were born.

Groucho continued into his next song. A sentimental one that had previously contained one of their most important dramatic moments. But, this time Groucho changed the lyrics. He sang, "Nacogdoches is full of roaches." The aggravation diffused, and now having fun butchering one of their songs, at the next pause Groucho said, "The jack-ass is the finest flower of Tex-ass."

The Texans were not insulted, instead they loved it. The Marx Brothers were a hit. This event was so memorable, in Nagodoches history, that an historical marker, commemorating the start of the Marx Brothers, is in downtown Nacogdoches at the site of the opera house and theater.

In 1826 the Fredonia uprising rebelled against Mexico and set up the Republic of Fredonia in the territory surrounding Nacogdoches. Years later, in 1933, the Marx Brothers paid homage to Nacogdoches in their movie Duck Soup, naming the mythical kingdom in the movie, Freedonia.

Now, I have never found the Marx Brothers movies all that funny. And Groucho's adlibs that launched the Marx Brothers seem a bit mediocre to me. But, Groucho, later, solo, was very funny, like on You Bet Your Life, where his ad lib mastery was famously on display. And in interviews, like with Dick Cavett.

Groucho Marx was a very funny guy. And we have Texas to thank for aggravating Groucho enough to release his inner funny man.

Wreaking Havoc With My Texas Routine With HOT Swimming

I am really jumbling up my predictable pattern this second Monday of August. Usually I take a picture of the morning coffee drinking view from my patio, blog the picture, and end the blogging by saying I'm going swimming now.

But this morning I decided to get real radical and take the morning patio view, then go swimming and after the swimming blog about the morning view from my patio.

This massive change in my routine feels absolutely liberating.

The temperature of the pool water was noticeably warmer than the air temperature this morning. This would be a good thing if the air temperature were 60. Or 70. But not when it's 82.

If we hit 100 today it will be the 9th day in a row, according to both the Dallas Morning News and the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. In one of the local papers, well, the online version of one of the local papers, there was mention made of possible incoming storm in a few days. The Fort Worth Forecast below does not seem to indicate any possible incoming storming. Except for today.

In Texas Looking At Photos Of The Woolley Wedding Of The Year

I was all prepared to attend the Woolley Wedding of the Year, but an invitation never arrived. I was so disappointed, because, like I think I said before, there are very few things I enjoy more than going to a wedding.

Especially if potential weather drama is involved.

And there was plenty of weather drama, apparently, in Western Washington, yesterday, with the first rain in awhile causing the roads to be slick and generate a lot of accidents.

I have not received any news as to how the weather treated yesterday's Woolley Wedding of the Year. But the new mother-in-law, Betty Jo Bouvier, did send me photos of the event to which I was not invited.

That is the bride, Elizabeth on the left, next to groom, Adam, and I believe that is the backside of Betty Jo we are seeing on the right. The photos had no captions so I can only guess about these things.

Texas Turned Me Into An African-American Female

I am almost 100% certain that I've mentioned previously that when I got my first Texas driver's license that the State of Texas turned me into a female.

I was quite a few months into my Texas exile when I finally got around to getting a Texas driver's license. Well, more than a few months, more like a year.

I arrived in Texas about a week before Christmas, a year later I had to make a winter return to Washington, via car. I was getting ready to go roller blading at Bear Creek Park in Keller when I opened the envelope containing my new driver's license. I looked at it, all seemed fine, til I saw the part that said SEX: F.

At first I feared this meant I'd failed sex, some obscure part of the bizarre Texas driving test that I'd not made note of. But then it was fairly obvious to me that whoever filled out my info took a look at me and mistook my girly looks for being a girl. And labeled me an "F".

This would have been no big deal, except for the fact I was taking off in the morning on a roadtrip to Washington. This new driver's license could make a cop stop interesting. But, since I really do not get stopped very often, I was not too concerned.

I would have been a tad more concerned had I known what I was to learn upon my return, when I went to the Texas driver's license place to straighten out the mess. There the license lady looked up my record and asked me to lean forward so she could whisper, "it says here you are African-American, you aren't are you?"

I was fairly certain I was not African-American, so I said no. I did not know that they put "extra" info on your record that does not show up on your license. For all I know I am still African-American on my Texas license record. This could possibly explain the Fort Worth cop's surly attitude when he gave me a ticket (thrown out) for driving without wearing a seatbelt.

The nice Texas driver's license lady let me keep the driver's license that gave me a sex change, after she snipped off a corner. I don't know why she had to do that.

I managed to drive to Washington, and back, without a cop incident where I had to explain why I was acting like a male when my license clearly indicates I'm a female.

In Washington I got a big party benefit due to my Texas license giving me girl cred. I was staying at my sister's in Kent. She was having an all-girl Christmas Party. With 30 or 40 girls. I was allowed to stay for the party if I acted as the greeter, showing my Texas driver's license to prove my bonafides as a legit attendee at an all-girl party.

It was a fun party. I think some of those girls were confused and were acting real nice to me because they felt sorry for me for being such a homely girl with an unfortunately ungirly sounding voice.

Checking On The Huffines Bulldozers At Arlington's River Legacy Park While Walking With The Queen Of Wink

I went swimming early this morning in what feels like my outdoor bathtub. By 11 I was in the mood to be bi-pedal, so I took off to the Village Creek Natural Historic Area.

When I got to VCNHA I saw the gate closed. Village Creek had gone into flood mode, apparently. Was it from that short storm on Friday? Or was there another storm last night? I wondered, this morning, if I slept through a storm, because I had to navigate puddles of water on my way to the pool.

With Village Creek not available I headed to Arlington's River Legacy Park. I'd not been there since a couple months ago when I hiked the mountain bike trail. Today I decided to walk east, crossing the Trinity River and going under Collins Road to see the current state of the Huffines Development.

To my great shock, with no public hearings on the matter, a huge swath of what had been fairly wild land bordering the paved River Legacy Trail had been assaulted by Huffines bulldozers. Bulldozing to make islands, lakes and plots of land for buildings. What had been scenic was turned ugly. What should have been a park, was ruined.

Well. All bulldozing on the Huffines project has ceased. The project appears to have been long abandoned. A long time ago now, I blogged about how the Huffines project had blocked off the last mile of the River Legacy trail, due to the building of a pipeline. Well the "Trail Closed Between Mile 6 & 7" sign is now down.

Mother Nature has covered up the Huffines scars. The only ugliness that remains is the chain link fence that was put up before the bulldozing began.

As I walked away from the Huffines debacle my phone rang. I can not see who is calling when I'm out in the bright sun. So, I answer with "I'm in the bright sun and can not see who is calling. Please identify yourself." I heard laughing and recognized the Queen of Wink's royal giggle.

The Queen talked to me the 3 miles back to my vehicle. Where I sat on a picnic table and continued the royal conversation. I must say I have not laughed so much since I don't know when.

The Queen of Wink's tale of her recent Vegas Adventure with the Girls, was, well, funny stuff.

If the Queen of Wink is reading this, I did not hang up, my phone made its annoying bloop bloop noise and disconnected. I figured I'd done enough laughing and it was time to head to my next destination.

In Texas Early Sunday Morning Thinking About Not Going To A Wedding In Washington

As you can see, sitting out on the patio with me, drinking coffee, on this, the second Sunday of August, the sun is lighting up the place with nary a cloud in the clear blue sky.

It is 81 out there, heading, again, to a predicted high of 101. I don't know if we got past the century mark yesterday, but the forecast is that we will for the next 7 days.

Today, up in Washington, Betty Jo Bouvier, the Wild Woman of Woolley, becomes a mother-in-law for the first time.

Of course I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that I was not invited to these nuptials. Had I been there is nothing, nothing I tell you, that could have stopped me from heading north. Few things I like better than attending a wedding.

I think I'll go swimming in the overly warm pool now and figure out what I'm going to do today instead of going to a Washington wedding.

Cowboy Durango On His Horse In Texas

I am finding all sorts of pictures today that I'd forgotten existed.

Like this one with me on a horse, at my first location in Texas, in this hamlet in far north Fort Worth, called Haslet. The mail box was in Fort Worth, the house was in Haslet.

There were 3 horses available for riding that lived on the ranch. I had no idea, til living with horses, that they were way more high maintenance than any human I've known. And I've known some extremely high maintenance humans.

Like the one who owned the horses.

My last time on a horse was July 4 of 2000. It did not go well. Short version is a carrot was left in the barn. The horse wanted that carrot. No amount of direction, from me, could stop that horse from heading back to that carrot. Eventually this turned scary with the horse trying to enter the barn via a side entry that really had no room for my legs.

Blessings of flexibility, acquired from years of yoga, I was able to contort myself into a position that did not cause my legs to get ripped off.

I have not been on a horse since. Nor will I ever again. I have never understood why riding a horse is something anyone would want to do after mechanical means of transport were invented.

Gar The Texan Ex In Booger Reds Saloon Drinking Buffalo Butt Beer

I've been inadvertently going down memory lane the last hour, or two, looking at all the photos I've got stuck on this computer.

It started with a successful search for a Red, White and Blue Bikini Float at Tombstone Arizona's Helldorado Days Parade and ended with Gar the Texan sitting on a saddle in Booger Reds Saloon, in the Fort Worth Stockyards, drinking Buffalo Butt beer while Gar's now ex-wife sits next to him chain smoking between her Buffalo Butts.

I sort of understood Gar the Texan's attraction to the now ex-wife, what with that shapely figure she sports, but I had a lot of trouble getting past the chain smoking.

You can likely tell by looking at her in the picture, but if you can't, I'll tell you, Gar's ex is a German girl. He found her somewhere in the Fatherland, barely able to speak a word of English, but longing to come to America to be the wife of a wealthy, handsome American man.

Eventually she settled for Gar the Texan.

I do not know if Gar the Texan's ex is being sent back to the Fatherland, or what. I try not to pry.

Overheating HOT Hill Hiking In Texas Thinking About Taking An Ice Bath

A new forest of a strange looking plants has sprouted up on the Tandy Hills.

I suspect Don Young may have identified this strange looking plant in his most recent Prairie Notes, but at the time I read it I had not seen the plant in person, and so remembering its name did not register.

It was barely 90 when I hit the hills hiking today.

90 and very humid.

Last summer I had absolutely no problem with hitting the hills hiking when it was over 100.

This summer I am having a little trouble with hitting the hills hiking when it is HOT. I think the difference is this is being a very humid summer in Texas. Very humid.

Today I added to the humidity by leaking 5 bottles of water.

To cool down, after the HOT hill hiking, I went to Town Talk to stand in their walk-in cooler. It was refreshing. Way more refreshing than my swimming pool is being. The day after day after day of being over 100 has heated the water to lukewarm.

Even cold showers are no longer cold, with the HOT ground heating the waterpipes and the water flowing inside. By the time it makes it out of my showerhead the water feels like some hot water has been mixed in, when it hasn't.

I've heard ice baths are refreshing. I'm not sure how that works. Fill the tub with water and throw in some ice cubes?