7th Haven Fort Worth Crazy Naked Person Job Opening

My best new news source, C.D. Conn, she being who told me about the Naked Billboard Man who was terrorizing Fort Worth's Cultural District Zone yesterday, just now sent me this picture advertising a job opening.

I assume 7th Haven is on Seventh Avenue, somewhere in the aforementioned Cultural District. That goofily named district is changing and growing so fast I'm way behind on knowing what's there.

I wonder how much 7th Haven is willing to pay to someone willing to be a Crazy Naked Person on their sign? I would not mind working on my all over tan if the pay were sufficient.

We are back under a bright blue sky, again, here in my zone of North Texas.

I guess I'll go work on my tan on the aptly named Tandy Hills in a bit. I don't think it rained enough to have created a muddy problem on the hills.

Tarrant Regional Water Board Early Voting Ends Today

Once again there were letters to the editor of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram about the current Tarrant Regional Water Board member election candidates.

And once again a letter in support of Adrian Murray and John Basham sounded real while a letter in support of Marty Leonard sounded contrived, phony and shill-like.

My favorite line in the pro Adrian Murray/John Basham letter is, "Taxpayers, why stand ye here idle when your money is being thrown down the river?"

To me the silliest line in the pro Marty Leonard letter is, "Marty has given so freely of herself, thousands of North Texans have a better life."

Both letters in their entirety...

Tarrant water board

No City Council since Chuck Silcox and Clyde Picht, no Commissioners Court and no Chamber of Commerce has sounded the war tocsin against the near-billion-dollar Trinity Uptown boondoggle. They're all asleep in Fort Worth. Even now comes another surprise, a new version of an expensive bridge to nowhere.

Taxpayers, why stand ye here idle when your money is being thrown down the river? Elect Adrian Murray and John Basham to the Tarrant Regional Water District board. Just as St. George of old slew the dragon, Murray and Basham are pledged to slay this Trinity Uptown tax-eating monster, the mother of all eminent domain earmarks. Victory is in view! Oh the joy!

-- Don Woodard Sr., Fort Worth

For years, Marty Leonard has unselfishly served our community in so many ways, including leadership roles at Baylor All Saints Medical Center, the United Way, the Lena Pope Home and the Tarrant Regional Water District board. Because Marty has given so freely of herself, thousands of North Texans have a better life.

During her tenure, the water board has added 400 acres of parkland in Tarrant County. The board received the state of Texas' highest award for water conservation programs, and there has been no increase in the tax rate of 2 cents per $100 valuation of property.

Today, the water board is actively pursuing obtaining water rights in Oklahoma that would sustain our water supply and growth for decades. We are fortunate to have Marty Leonard as a guardian of our most precious resources. We need her experience and dedication to secure our future.

-- Scott and Lynda Dally, Aledo

Incoming Storm Gets Naked Man Off Fort Worth Billboard

Minutes ago I returned from the downtown Fort Worth zone and checked my messages to see an email and a blog comment mentioning a Naked Man who had tied up an area of West Seventh Street while police and firemen tried to talk him into getting off a billboard and putting on some clothes.

The Naked Man caused a traffic mess for the Montgomery Plaza Shopping Center.

I did not detect anything interesting going on or see a crowd of Naked Man watchers when I was in the downtown Fort Worth zone.

The billboard the Naked Man was walking on was a We Buy Ugly Houses one on one side, with a Fort Worth Zoo one on the other side, with the message being, "Visit a Museum Where The Art Looks At You."

Police tried to talk the Naked Man down with various tactics, including saying he could talk to his mom and girlfriend. The Naked Man hollered that his family had been murdered.

No, they are right here, wanting to talk to you, the police hollered back.

The naked man started being naked on the billboard when the sky was still blue and the temperature in the 80s. What finally got him to the ground was the incoming gusty storm.

When the Naked Man, known only as James, hit the ground, police put handcuffs on him. And a pair of shorts.

I wonder what one gets charged with for being naked on a billboard in Fort Worth? Capital offense?

UPDATE: Barely seconds after hitting the publish button my Naked Man Source sent me much better pictures than the one I originally used.

Monday In Fort Worth With Gusts & Trucks Blocking Trails

The Fort Worth Water Crew was back on the Tandy Hills today, with 2 big trucks and a fun looking little vehicle that looked like a golf cart on steroids.

The trucks blocked the trail as I came down from Mount Tandy. After I made my way around the trucks I saw a supervisor looking guy supervising. I asked him what was going on.

He told me they were running a video camera through the pipeline, looking for breaks. The Water Supervisor guy seemed like a pleasant sort, pleasantly laughing when I opined that basically they were a Roto-Rooter operation on steroids.

I guess I am liking that "on steroids" cliche today.

I got an email from Don Young this afternoon, titled "A Short Tale of Shenanigans". I used to blog these type emails til I realized they were already blogged on the FW Can Do website. You can read it there. Trust me, it is worth your perusal.

I like that shenanigans word. Last week, when I first saw what I thought was something nefarious going on on the Tandy Hills, shenanigans was the word that came to mind, along with a few others.

I saw a new yellow wildflower today. It sort of looks like the one I have said is my favorite. This new one is smaller.

We seem to be working up to doing some storming here, currently with big gusts of wind. I don't know why I feel compelled to add "of wind" to identify what is gusting. Isn't wind the only thing that gusts?

Anyway, it's being very gusty. I hope I don't lose power. Again.

Adrian Murray John Basham Campaign Signs Disappearing

You're looking at one of the few remaining Adrian Murray/John Basham Tarrant Regional Water District Board campaign signs left standing.

I won't disclose the exact location of this sign so that it might escape being kidnapping by nefarious miscreants.

I learned of the nefarious miscreanting yesterday via the following....

The large 4' x 8' campaign signs for Adrian Murray and John Basham are quickly becoming collector items. Eager collectors have been snatching them up in the week prior to the election and the once abundant signs are disappearing from vacant lots and roadsides all across the district.

The most prominent and well-known collector is life-long Fort Worth native, heiress and well-known spinster Marty Leonard, who has personally gathered up 50 of the sought-after signs. Ms. Leonard, who coincidentally is the incumbent in the seat both Murray and Basham are seeking, said her actions in taking the signs should not be interpreted in any way as an attempt to interfere with their campaign.

"Quite the contrary," she explained when reached by phone at her $2.4 million mansion in Westover Hills. "It's plainly obvious that these young men are superbly qualified, certainly more so than either me or Jim Lane. Their victory in Saturday's election is a fait accompli and I'm merely trying to save them all that time next week picking up their campaign signs. This way they can get right to work cleaning up the mess we have made at the water board."

Ms. Leonard went on to explain that the large signs will make a shrewd investment. "May 8, 2010 will go down in history as the day corruption in this city finely began to be cleaned up and these are the men who will do it. Only 100 of these signs were ever produced and I've got 50 of them. They'll be worth a pile of money one day."

Asked if she had any concerns that removing an opponent's campaign signs before election day is illegal and ethically immoral, Leonard stated, "Practically everything we do at the water board is illegal and ethically immoral. It's a hard habit to break."

No Electricity Drives Me To Hiking The Tandy Hills

After a couple hours of no power I began to grow very agitated. No power really limits what you can do if what you do takes electricity.

I figured I'd hike the Tandy Hills til I got a call telling me the lights were back on.

As I hiked I pondered the worst case scenario, as in, what to do if the power does not come back on. I figured I'd put any perishables in Miss Puerto Rico's fridge for the duration.

But there was no need to go into doomsday mode, the power came back on.

I have no idea what today's Tandy Hills plant is. Is it a wildflower? A fruit? A vegetable? A lot of these things have been popping out in the past week.

Elsie Hotpepper just called, concerned that I'd gone absent from the blogging world. Elsie's quest to locate Ed Fitzgerald, by staking out Oscar's Pub, was to no avail.

I must get out of here again and go to the aforementioned Miss Puerto Rico's to help her do something with a valve. What, that means, I really have no idea.

TXU & Oncor Energy Service Sucks

Well, I had me a fine, fun Sunday morning. Sometime around 9 this morning my second computer monitor went blank just as I Googled "Bull Freeway" looking for a picture of the bull that terrorized my neighborhood yesterday, shutting down I-30 for an hour or so.

I thought my monitor had died. About 20 minutes later I noticed the little battery power icon was on. It was then I realized the power was out.

This was a bit unusual, as there was no storming going on, no wind, no lightning, nothing.

After about an hour I opened my latest TXU bill and called the number for reporting a power outage. After having a real fine time wading through the TXU auto phone tree deal that uses voice recognition, I finally came to the part where I was asked to say my Zip Code.

I say the Zip Code and am told that Oncor Energy takes care of outages in my area and that I needed to call them to report the outage.

Huh?

Would you not think that since it is TXU that I pay for my electricity that when I call TXU to tell them the power is out that TXU would take it from there? And notify Oncor if that is what is needed?

So, I called Oncor. Another auto phone tree thing. Only this time it said it did not recognize my phone number and to please enter my phone number or my EID number that can be found on my bill.

I hung up.

Then I looked at the bill til I found the EID number. It was very very small and about 30 digits.

I called Oncor back, got to the enter the EID number part and it told me to enter the last 7 digits.

I entered the 7 digits and was then told that the outage had been reported and that a crew was working on the problem.

By then it was around 11. I got out of here and headed to the Tandy Hills for some peaceful relaxation. It was chaos going through my neighborhood powerless traffic lights.

About an hour later I got a call telling me the power was back on.

Now, how did it come to pass that you don't call the business you are paying for your electricity, when that electricity is not being delivered?

Very annoying.

TXDOT APPROVES ALTERNATIVE TO PROPOSED CARTER AVENUE GAS PIPELINE

Sometime Friday I got my first message regarding the supposed resolution of the Carter Avenue Chesapeakegate Scandal. Kathleen Hicks was claiming Carter Avenue was celebrating.

Again.

Wendy Davis was trumpeting this victory and thanking, along with Kathleen Hicks, the great benevolence of Chesapeake Energy and TxDOT.

The thing is, I am of the opinion that it is scandalous and borderline criminal that the people who live on Carter Avenue were ever put in this sort of jeopardy by a private business and a city government in cahoots with that private business.

I am also of the opinion that this is not over until Chesapeake Energy drops its eminent domain case against Steve Doeung. The day that happens is the day I think a celebration is called for. Until then. I don't trust that this absurdity is really over.

Below is the "News Release" from the office of esteemed Fort Worth City Councilwoman, Kathleen Hicks....

FORT WORTH –There is much to celebrate on Carter Avenue as TxDOT confirmed today that the proposal by TMGS, a subsidiary of Chesapeake Midstream Partners, to install a portion of the Thomas-to-Hickman pipeline route along I-30 has been approved. This morning, TxDOT issued a permit for the installation of a gas line across and parallel to I-30 and Beach Street.

Chesapeake Energy has long sought to lay a gas pipeline under Carter Avenue in order to connect the Thomas and Hickman well sites. After several requests to Chesapeake Energy to delay their permit request and after several meetings on this issue, Chesapeake can now actively work to seek street crossing approvals from the City of Fort Worth. These approvals are necessary before the pipeline can be installed.

"For two years, I joined concerned residents in just saying no to this proposed pipeline,” said Council Member Kathleen Hicks. “Today's news is truly a victory for the neighborhoods and I thank TxDOT and Chesapeake. Most of all I thank Carter Avenue residents who have waited patiently for this day! With this victory for Carter Avenue, I expect other neighborhoods to utilize this victory in their own efforts.”

Chesapeake is optimistic that pipeline construction could begin as early as this fall, bringing long awaited royalties to hundreds of mineral owners. The proposed alternate route will travel west of Beach Street south of I-30 and enter TxDOT right-of-way and run latitudinally across north of I-30.

Ankle Biters Chasing Me On The Tandy Hills While Elsie Hotpepper Hangs Out In Oscar's Pub

You are looking at the newly renovated Tandy Highway, slicing through the heart of the Tandy Hills, from Tandy Falls to an end point I've not yet made it to.

I was erroneous, yesterday, in my assumption that the City of Fort Worth Roadbuilders had accessed the new road via the park's east entry by Tandy Tower. I'd assumed this due to seeing new wheel ruts leading down the south option at the intersection halfway down Mount Tandy.

So, it remains a mystery why trucks were going up and down that particular section. The crushed rock roadblock that I'd run into yesterday had been spread around on the new highway. I think. I may be making an erroneous assumption again.

I was chased be a pair of ankle biters today. Yapping little Terrier Terrorists. I had to alter my route to avoid a second encounter with the possibly rabid little monsters. I'd armed myself with a good whacking stick in the eventuality of another sneak attack.

It is an overcast day here, this Saturday in Fort Worth. 77 degrees at half past 3 in the afternoon. So, I have my windows open. I do not remember so many days when the windows could be open during times previous in my Texas exile.

I saw a new wildflower today. It may be my new favorite.

Til I hear different I am calling this one the Pink Puffball Gold-Tipped Wildflower.

It reminded me of the ball that sits atop Reunion Tower in Dallas. The Reunion Tower ball puts on a light show at night. Well, it used to and I'm assuming it still does.

I am working on trying to not make so many erroneous assumptions.

I have received some suggestions as to where to find the mysterious volunteer attorney who calls himself Ed Fitzgerald. One said Ed Fitzgerald could probably be found at Oscar's Pub on Camp Bowie Boulevard in Fort Worth.

Another suggested that the correct name is Edmund Fitzgerald and that Edmund was currently busy with some matters in offshore Louisiana. I assume involving leaking oil. This person included a link to information about Edmund Fitzgerald that was not really all that helpful, due to the link being a list of Google search results about the Edmund Fitzgerald freighter that sank on Lake Superior back in the 1970s.

My therapist, Dr. L.C., has gone missing today. I assume she is off politicking. Elsie Hotpepper is hanging out at Oscar's Pub, hoping to find Ed Fitzgerald. Elsie will use just about any excuse to hang out in a pub.

I'm Having A May Day Hunt For Ed Fitzgerald In Texas

Time flies. Seems like just yesterday it was April Fool's Day and I was moving to Las Vegas with the Queen of Wink.

Now it's May Day and I am still in Fort Worth and the Queen is still in Wink.

I've got a mystery I would like to solve.

Does anyone out there in the Eminent Domain Abuse Capital of the World, Tarrant County, Texas, know an attorney named Ed Fitzgerald?

If you Google for "Ed Fitzgerald Attorney" you find such a person in Massachusetts.

Why am I hunting for this mysterious lawyer? Well, this natural gas company named Chesapeake Energy has been abusing eminent domain in order to run a non-odorized, high pressure natural gas pipeline under homes in the east Fort Worth avenue named Carter.

One by one the people on Carter Avenue gave in to the pressure and signed away their property rights for a pittance.

Only one Carter Avenuer refused, he being Steve Doeung. Unbeknownst to Steve Doeung, court proceedings were initiated against him by Chesapeake Energy. Somehow an attorney, named Ed Fitzgerald, was representing Steve Doeung in these court proceedings.

To this day Steve Doeung has never spoken to Ed Fitzgerald. Steve Doeung has asked, repeatedly, for legal help and I'm sure he would love to have the help of the mysterious Ed Fitzgerald.

What I'd like to know is how it is that Ed Fitzgerald came to represent Steve Doeung?

Adding to the mystery, a few months ago FW Weekly had Steve Doeung on its cover and told the story of his battle against Chesapeake Energy. I think it was in that article I learned of the Gestapo-like intimidation tactics used by the City of Fort Worth against Steve Doeung, sending in goon squads to issue bogus citations.

I never saw any followup article in FW Weekly in which FW Weekly tried to find out who ordered the Gestapo raids on Steve Doeung. I think Woodward and Bernstein would have been all over that.

And then this morning one of my anonymous sources tells me that the FW Weekly reporter who wrote the article about Steve Doeung claims that someone who knows Ed Fitzgerald talked to the reporter and told him that Ed Fitzgerald had repeatedly tried to contact Steve Doeung, leaving messages, with no call back from Steve Doeung.

Now, this really sounds really hinky to me. First off, in my experience, Steve Doeung returns calls quickly. He would certainly be strongly motivated to return a call to the mysterious attorney he'd never met, never hired, never talked to.

I find it a bit surprising that the writer of the FW Weekly article somehow magically ran into someone who knew Ed Fitzgerald with somehow the conversation turning to this attorney's inablity to reach Steve Doeung.

Perhaps the writer of the FW Weekly article could put Steve Doeung in touch with the person who knows the mysterious Ed Fitzgerald, so that Steve Doeung might finally somehow meet the guy who has been representing him all this time.

I tell you, the way things operate in Texas really perplexes me at times.

Oh, and Happy May Day.