Texas Insomnia & Other Woes

New Year's Day I went to bed fairly early. Which caused me to get up fairly early. As in a bit past 2 this morning. Consequently I'm feeling punch drunk, like I've been on the road, driving non-stop for 24 hours and in dire need of a motel room.

I got up, made coffee, with it being hours before the Dallas Morning New would arrive. I finished reading Hollywood Kryptonite. That's the book that makes the case that George Reeves (Superman) was murdered, rather than a suicide. The Ben Affleck movie, Hollywoodland, with he playing Reeves, is based on this book.

Superman killing himself has always bothered me and I really think that is at the root of my extreme distrust of Super Heroes. After reading Hollywood Kryptonite, I'm convinced Reeves was murdered by a hitman ordered up by his jilted girl-friend, Toni Mannix.

I called my Mom early this morning to try and persuade them that waiting a week to come here, rather than leaving this coming Sunday, might be a good idea, due to we are supposed to be getting a cold snap, starting with rain on Monday. I told Mom, the way it goes here, is a few days cold, then back warm again, that by the Sunday after next we should be back in warm times again.

Mom said it would be too much trouble to wait a week, they were already packed, they'd add more cold weather clothes. Where Mom and Dad grew up, in Whatcom County, just south of the Canadian border, they experienced many a blizzard with very cold temperatures, heavy wind and a lot of snow, blowing into big drifts that could cover barns.

No one here in Texas can understand how varied the weather in Washington is. It is so unlike here. Most here think it rains all the time up there. Where Mom and Dad grew up, in Whatcom County, was only 40 miles north of where I grew up, in Skagit County. Whatcom County was in the path of weather systems coming down Canada's Frasier River Valley. As in very cold fronts, meeting up with wet Pacific air, causing massive snowstorm.

Meanwhile, where I lived, we called it The Banana Belt, while my Grandma's were snowbound with huge drifts, we'd have no snow and not even be freezing. Just a few miles to the west of where I lived the land was in the shadow of the Olympics, meaning they were a dry zone with way less rain than those of us living near the Cascades. When the clouds hit the Cascades they'd back up and pour rain on us. But the Olympics block a large area to the west, with some areas getting desert like levels of rainfall, annually.

And then there's the other side of the mountains. You drive over one of the Cascade Passes (you can't right now, closed due to avalanche danger) and you are in a brown Texas-like, albeit it more hilly and way more irrigated, zone. Eastern Washington gets real cold. And has a lot of orchards where they grow all those apples you see in stores here. And apricots, peaches, nectarines, cherries, grapes and all sorts of good stuff.

I take it back. Eastern Washington bears little resemblance to Texas.

So, anyway, Mom and Dad know what a cold winter is like, but they've become Weather Babies, like me. We all shivered in my sister's Iceberg she calls a house, in Tacoma, last summer. But I don't know if they remember what it is like when it is 20 degrees with a 40 mile wind blowing from the north. I expect to hear my Mom do a lot of complaining about the weather. She told me she just won't get out of the car.

I wonder if it is from my Mom I learned the Art of Complaining?

A Texas Home Security System

TO INSTALL A TEXAS HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of used men's work boots, size 14-16.
2. Put them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Place a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba,

Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

Cooter

Eat All The Lard You Want, Stay Thin With Sanitized Tapeworms

In one of the lesser insulting remarks, in a month filled with them, when I was in Tacoma, last year, in what is now known as Hell Summer, one of my relatives suggested the reason I was so skinny, and yet able to eat like a pig, was because I likely had a tapeworm.

I am not kidding. This was the type elevated discourse I was subjected to. No, it couldn't be that I was skinny due to getting sufficient exercise and eating properly. No. I had a tapeworm.

So, this morning Alma, the Songbird of the Texas Gulf Coast, sent me a lot of good stuff. Including old ads. Two of the ads had to do with food. One was a diet method, the other suggested a food that would make you happy.

The diet ad claimed you could Eat! Eat! Eat! and always stay thin. No diet, No baths, no exercise, claiming, Fat, the ENEMY that is shortening your life, BANISHED! How? With Sanitized Tape Worms. Jar packed. Easy to Swallow! No ill effects!

Now, if you get the Sanitized Tape Worms, you could then eat all you want of the other thing advertised, that being LARD. No dieting, no exercise, eat all the lard you want, without the worry of becoming a lard ass.

I can think of a person. Or two. Who I would not mind slipping a Tape Worm. Or two. That person, or two, already eats plenty of lard and, unfortunately already is a lard ass. But the Tape Worm can reverse that condition.

Polar Bear Swimming at Lake Grapevine

It's a nice first day of the new year, here in Texas. I've got my windows open again. It's almost 70. I went up to Lake Grapevine, a bit past noon. I brought along a swimming suit, fully intending to go swimming on the first day of the new year.

But, when I got to Rockledge Park, the wind was blowing, there were waves, I felt the water and it was cold. Getting in the lake would not be as easy as getting in the pool. It doesn't get deep fast, you have to pick your way carefully over the lake bed so as not to step on something unseemly.

So, I chickened out on the swimming thing.

Taking the left turn from Grapevine Highway on to the road that goes over the Lake Grapevine Dam, there was a big group of bikers. I would not ride my bike on these type streets. Bikes and cars and busy highways do not a good mix make, in my opinion.

That's the bikers you see in the picture, above, with the pair of Big Balls in the foreground.

There were a lot of mountain bikers today riding the Northshore Trail out of Rockledge Park. I used to pedal this trail a lot. But it is treacherous in places. And now that I'm a senior citizen I am wary of such risky things.

That is the Gaylord Texas Resort and Convention Center, on the left, that you see rising above Lake Grapevine on the south side of the lake. I'll take my Mom and Dad there when they are here. Which is sooner than I expected, I learned today, when I called my Phoenix sister, while I was at Lake Grapevine.

Lake Grapevine has lost some more water since I was last at today's location. It was fun walking the beach in places where previously that was not possible.

About 2 miles into walking along the beach, there is an inlet that leads to a smaller inlet. During summer, when the vegetation is thick, this is a good skinny dipping spot. In the dead of winter, not so much. But the water was calm there, and it felt warmer. If it had not been so far from my vehicle and the post swimming need for heat, this would have been a good spot for my First of the New Year Polar Bear Swim. Doesn't that look like a big natural swimming pool?

I Am A Senior Citizen

I had a horrible thing happen to me earlier this week that I was too appalled by to mention to you. But, now, this morning, this first day of the new year, Alma, the Songbird of the Texas Gulf Coast, sent me, well, a poem sort of thing, the theme of which, is, well, remembering way back when, in the 1950s, when the world was young and innocent.

So, what was the horrible thing that happened to me? Well, I went to Zorro's Buffet on Monday. You pay when you enter. I said to the pimply-faced teenager, "4 adults." She then asked me a question that forever will be etched in my memory as the mark of the end of an era. She asked me "Senior discount?"

I was mortified. Do I look 60 I asked? Is it my gray hair? She said she always asks if the person has gray hair because sometimes they get upset when they don't get their Senior (one measly dollar off) Discount.

I told the girl I was only 29 with prematurely gray hair and that I was quite offended and felt very insulted. She giggled during this entire painful scene. She did say she thought I was remarkably well-preserved for an elderly person. That made me feel slightly better.

And now the words sent by Alma, with a Senior Citizen lamenting the changing times....

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot, before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot. There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me.

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born, where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn, we spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince and Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.

We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee' and cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many, and only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see a boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice, and when they made a movie, they never made it twice.

We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp and Reagan was a Democrat. Whose co-star was a chimp?

We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T and Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go, at least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be and Elvis was forever, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead and Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins were not Led and Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees, Madonna was a virgin in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars and babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars.

And pumping iron got wrinkles out and 'gay' meant fancy-free and dorms were never coed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag and microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea and rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made me, Me.

Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks and bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks and Coke came just in bottles and skirts below the knee and Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues, we had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea or prime-time ads for condoms in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill and fish were not called Wanda and cats were not called Bill.

And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three and ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say and now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.

They send us invitations to join AARP, we've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans and wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines and we tell our children's, children of the way it used to be, long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Only 365 days til the new year. Only 20 more days til the world can breathe a sigh of relief, with the source of the sense of relief moving to my part of the world. Only 8 more days til my Mom and Dad are in my part of the world.

And here I am, up early in the new year, no hangover, having gone to bed early on New Year's Eve, with no resolutions for the new year.

I don't need to lose weight.

I don't need to exercise more.

I don't need to eat more fruits and vegetables.

I don't need to read more.

I don't need to watch less TV.

I don't need to have more fun.

I don't need to learn anything new.

I don't need to quit smoking.

I don't need to be a nicer person. (I couldn't get any nicer)

I don't need to blog more.

I don't need to do anything different, near as I can tell.

I guess I could stand to put on a few pounds. But I don't feel compelled to make a resolution about it.

Speaking of weight loss resolutions. Last night I was reading a particularly pretentious blogging about a person's New Year's Goals. This person was pondering a variety of possible goals. One of this person's ponderings was perhaps the possible goal of losing 100 pounds! 100 pounds!

I read that and thought, good gawd, if you are 100 pounds overweight you shouldn't need the start of a new year to motivate yourself to lose the blubber. I've heard of people making a resolution to lose that last 10 or 20 pounds. But, 100 pounds? If I lost 100 pounds I'd weigh 75. I'd be dead.

How can anyone stand to carry around that much blubber all the time? It is so unfathomable to me that so many people are that self-destructive. I used to know a morbidly obese person who easily weighed 600 pounds. She'd have to resolve to lose 450 pounds to get healthy. That'd take a lot of time, likely a multi-year resolution.

Anyway, it's the first day of 2009. I am not on a diet. I am going up to Lake Grapevine today. It is supposed to get to 72. I may go on a Polar Bear Swim this first day of the new year.

New Year's Eve Roller Blading At Indian Village & Interlochen

I need new roller blade wheels. It is not easy to find the ones I like. Last time I found them on Ebay from a nice lady in Colorado.

It is not very warm today, below 50, when I left to go blading, slightly above now. Brrrr.

I overheated blading, despite the cold. It was windy. Blading into a wind is hard work. And fun when the wind is pushing you.

Today's blading was at Indian Village Natural Historical Area. Or is it Historical Natural Area? I can never remember. I scared a little armadillo today.

The trail through Indian Village eventually exits the Natural Historical Area and enters the Interlochen zone. Part of the trail is along side one of the Interlochen canals. I want to move to Interlochen. I won't put up Christmas lights if I do, though.

I am sure you are wondering what is on my t-shirt. It is Mickey Mouse. Years ago, I took my youngest nephews to Sea-Tac and put them on a plane bound for LA, to meet their Dad and Mom (my sister) and my Mom and Dad, to go to Disneyland. I got the shirt I was wearing today out of the deal. It's Mickey riding a mountain bike.

My pool is still closed. Unless it gets fixed today, I am not going to be able to make my Polar Bear swimming on the first day of the New Year video tomorrow morning. I'm thinking maybe I'll go up to Lake Grapevine to do my Polar Bear thing. Maybe.

The Day Before 2009 In Fort Worth Texas

2009 starts in a few hours. I'm probably not telling you something you didn't already know.

Tomorrow it will be 1 full year since I started this blog.

If you had told me a year ago that I would blog every single day of the new year, I would have said that was ridiculous.

If you had told me that not only would I blog every day, but that the total number of posts would be almost a thousand on this blog you're reading right now, I would have said that was ridiculous.

If you had told me that during 2008 I would create 3 other blogs, I would have said that was ridiculous.

If you had told me that the total number of postings on my 4 blogs would number over 1500, I would have quit listening to you, because that was so ridiculous.

If you had told me that the number of visitors to my blogs would greatly exceed the large number of visitors to my Eyes on Texas website, I would have said that was ridiculous.

If you had told me that by the end of 2008 my blogs would be generating the majority of my ad revenue, I would have told you that was ridiculous.

If you had told me that by the end of 2008 I would have over 200 subscribers to my blogs, I would have told you that was ridiculous.

If you had told me that there would be days in 2008 when my ad revenue would go over $50, I would have told you that was ridiculous. (I used to think it was doing well if it made $5, thinking $50 was not possible)

So, for me, in many ways, on many days, 2008 was the best of times. I made a lot of changes in 2008. All for the good.

I made some mistakes in 2008. Like I should never have gone up to Washington for a month. It took me a long time to recover.

But, even that lemon turned into lemonade, because one good result of being up north, this past summer, is I fixed a problem that had been nagging me for a long time. It has been 4 months since I've been rid of, what I know realize, was a negative toxic poison that had been assaulting my psyche for years, like a chronic illness that had gone on so long I didn't realize how badly dealing with it was affecting my well being.

I've set some new rules for myself. One is I will not willingly, ever again, allow myself to be subjected to the presence of negative, hostile beings. If a person turns ugly, I will quickly make myself absent.

I will never again associate with a hugely obese person. Obesity is a form of mental illness. An obese person is a self-indulgent, self-absorbed, self-loather. A self-loather, at their heart, in my opinion, hates those who are well. Jealousy is an obese person's overriding emotion.

I will never again associate with a person who is addicted to prescription mood-altering drugs. If a person requires a chemical intervention in order to stabilize their moods, this indicates they are inherently unstable. And despite the drugs, that instability can erupt into irrational, illogical temper tantrums that reflect the individuals seriously degraded thought processes and underlying neurosis. If the person is uneducated and ignorant, on top of neurotic, you've got yourself a time bomb that will tick off at any random time.

In the future, if I befriend a person who I later learn is a convicted felon, I will once again extend the chance for that person to show that they have mended their criminal ways. But if I get the slightest hint that that person is still a sociopath, still thinking they are above the law, still being irresponsible, I will immediately cut that person off.

But, I think the best policy is to steer clear of anyone who has done jail time for any reason. It is highly likely that they can not be trusted. Once a thief, always a thief.

Tomorrow, I start 2009 in "better shape," in every sense of the phrase, than I started 2008. And I started 2008 in good shape. I'm looking forward to the next year more than I did 2008. I don't recollect thinking in those terms a year ago. Despite the bad economy and other bad things going on in the world, I'm feeling sort of optimistic in a way I have not in a long long time. Why? I don't know.

Maybe it's because my Mom and Dad are visiting in about a week. Yeah, I'm sure that's what's causing my good mood.....I think I'll go roller blading in a bit under this fine blue Texas sky.

Eminent Dominance: The Denton Record-Chronicle's Excellent Look Behind The Barnett Shale

We have reached the final chapter of the Denton Record-Chronicle's Pulitizer Prize worthy look at the dirty dealings going on behind the Barnet Shale and how those dirty dealings are affecting the lives of Texans.

I'll link to the 5 Chapters below. Read the comments at the end of each chapter and note the embarrassing illiterateness of most of the Barnett Shale Shills. If you feel moved to counter those comments with one of your own, please do so.

Behind The Barnet Shale....

Chapter 1: Neighbors along Britt Drive are approached by land men eager to drill in the Barnett Shale. Some are wary of the impact on their quality of life and question whether the amount of money offered is worth it.

Chapter 2: Urban drilling means these rough-and-tumble workplaces are closer to homes than ever. But its boom-or-bust nature creates a psychosocial environment for the Britt Drive neighborhood that fosters distrust of both sides.

Chapter 3: Cities are trying to preserve their authority to make rules for health, safety and welfare, but the industry is pushing back. Britt Drive neighbors watch one such battle unfold in their backyard.

Chapter 4: A doctrine of exemption allows the industry to develop oil and gas resources without having to study the environmental or health impacts of their work. Britt Drive neighbors worry about how drilling would affect their environment.

Chapter 5: Industry insiders sometimes marginalize gas drilling opponents, but the conversation about where to draw the line in urban drilling persists. The Britt Drive neighbors’ quest to keep drillers away grows increasingly desperate.

The Texas Value of a New Year's Eve Drink

Today is New Year's Eve Eve. In about another 32 hours, give or take an hour or two, a large number of Texans living in damp and wet zones will be downing unseemly quantities of alcoholic beverages as part of celebrating the start of 2009.

Meanwhile, Tee-Totalling Texans like me, and Texans living in a dry zone, will be bringing in the New Year free of any sinful libations. We will wake up January 1, 2009 with hangover free heads, starting the New Year bright, clear-headed and cheerful.

I've mentioned before that Alma, the Songbird of the Texas Gulf Coast, sends me a lot of very amusing emails. A couple days ago Alma sent me one titled "The Value of a Drink."

I think the day before New Year's Eve in Texas is a good day to share Alma's wise quotes about "The Value of a Drink."-----

'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame . Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'

~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

---

'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. '

~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

---

'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.'

~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

---

'24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.'

~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

---

'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!'

~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

---

'Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.'

~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

---

'Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.'

~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

---

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

---

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the ' Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: 'Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest bra in cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

~ Cliff Clavin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.