Miss Venezuela Wins, Miss USA Falls, Miss Puerto Rico Missing

My local Miss Puerto Rico must be devastated. Near as I can tell, looking at the news in the wee wee hours of the morning, Miss Puerto Rico didn't even come close to the coveted title of the Miss of the Entire Universe.

Kidnap victim, Venezuelan Dayana Mendoza, proved the Vegas bookies have a keen eye for beauty, with the odds on Vegas favorite beating 3 other Latin American Misses for the most prestigious title in the known Universe. The runner-up was Miss Columbia Tailana Vargas, Miss Domincan Republic Marianne Cruz Gonzalez was 3rd, Miss Mexico Elisa Najera came in 4th, with Miss Former Soviet Union Vera Krasova rounding out the top 5.

Miss USA was Miss Texas, Crystle Steward. Crystle was in the Top 10, but unfortunately she had a serious wardrobe malfunction when she tripped on her jewel encrusted gown and fell down. This is the second Miss Universe show in a row where the Miss USA girl takes a tumble. Last year Miss USA Rachel Smith also took a fall and bounced right back up, just like Miss USA did this year, as you can see for yourself in the video below. That is Miss USA on the ground in the photo on the right.

Miss Puerto Rico did not make the Top 10. In addition to the previously mentioned, Miss Kosovo, Miss Australia, Miss Spain and Miss Italy were the other Misses in the Top Ten.

I was over at my local Miss Puerto Rico's last night before the most important event on the planet was beamed live from Viet Nam's resort city of Nha Trang to the rest of the Universe. By the time I got back here I forgot, like millions upon millions of other Americans, that Miss Universe was about to be crowned. I made popcorn and watched The Simpsons instead. And King of the Hill. Neither Homer or Hank Hill watched the Miss Universe thing either.

Miss Universe Drives Miss Puerto Rico Nuts

One of the first times I was visiting my local Puerto Rican it was the night of the Miss Universe contest. I did not realize those Miss Universe Miss America things still took place.

But, my local Miss Puerto Rico acted as if it was the Olympics or a Presidential election. Well, that night, Miss Puerto Rico won. Even though it was late, Miss Puerto Rico called her mother, on the island, so they could celebrate together. This was the first time it crossed my mind that this person may be nuts.

Well, tonight is the Miss Universe Pageant. It's on NBC. Live from Viet Nam. Apparently Third, Fourth and Fifth World countries have revived this thing, as in it's a big deal to them. Some really poor countries can not afford the entry fee. Like Armenia and Nepal.

My local Miss Puerto Rico is certain Miss Puerto Rico, Ingrid Rivera, is going to win. Bookies pick Miss Venezuela, Dayana Mendoza, to win. Miss Venezuela vexes my local Miss Puerto Rico due to her being from Hugo Chavez's country and some remarks Miss Venezuela made about it being unfair for other countries to have to compete against women from her country due to their over abundance of beauty. Or something like that. Miss Puerto Rico can sometimes lose something in the translation.

Miss Puerto Rico insists I watch the Miss Universe thing with her tonight. That is not going to happen.

Below is video of Miss Venezuela. I hope she beats Miss Puerto Rico. I hope Miss Puerto Rico does not read my blog. She's got a nasty temper.