The Last Monday Of March With Exploding Tankers & Heart Attack Grills In Dallas

In the picture we are looking through the bars of my patio prison cell at a dark, cold last Monday of March of 2011.

It is only 47 degrees out there.

It did not warm up enough yesterday to dry my swimming suit, which I just retrieved from the aforementioned patio.

Some time past midnight a driver went the wrong way on Interstate 30, a couple miles to the west of my location, slamming in to a tanker truck, which exploded. Both drivers were killed.

I heard nothing.

I learned this morning, in what little of the Dallas Morning New online that I can read without being a subscriber, that Dallas is getting a Heart Attack Grill

The headline, "New Heart Attack Grill in Dallas’ West End sure to give some folks heartburn" caught me eye.

I clicked on the link and was able to read the following before getting the "Get Subscriber Content access to read this story" message...

"At the Heart Attack Grill, scantily clad “nurses” will serve high-fat offerings like milkshakes rich in butterfat and quadruple-decker burgers topped with cheese and bacon. Owner Jon Basso, who founded the restaurant in Chandler,..."

I believe the word that would have come after Chandler, had I been allowed to read the article, would have been Arizona.

Chandler is where my sister lives. I must remember to ask if she and my favorite brother-in-law have been to the Heart Attack Grill. I suspect the answer will be in the affirmative. My favorite brother-in-law is a burger lover.

The Heart Attack Grill has a website where the former Court TV reporter, Terry Moran, will tell you all about the health hazards involved in eating at the Heart Attack Grill and you will see some of the scantily clad burger serving nurses.

Yesterday I said that due to the slightly cold temperatures I would likely not go swimming this morning. But, I've changed my mind and have decided to go see if I can cause myself a bad  case of the shivering trembles.

Talk to you later.

The Heart Attack Grill Is Not In Texas

One of my sister's lives in Chandler, Arizona. My mom and dad live nearby in Sun Lake. My slightly overweight brother lives 30 miles south in Maricopa.

My brother-in-law runs several McDonald's in the Phoenix zone. When I fly up north I try and arrange a layover in Phoenix, on the way back, for at least a couple hours.

The longest layover was 11 hours. That time I got picked up and brought to one of my brother-in-law's McDonald's for All You Can Eat. It was breakfast. I didn't eat much.

Then we went back to the airport to pick up my other incoming sister. Then it was back to McDonald's again. This time breakfast was over. So, I got a salad of some sort, a fish burger, a couple double cheeseburgers, I forget what else. At one point I was two-fisting food, as in holding one burger in one hand, while the other hand held something else. I'd been up since before 5am and had not slept well. I was hungry.

There was more food when we got to my sister's place. Then she gave us a tour of the area, while we ate more food. Then we went to some place, the name of which I do not remember, for Happy Hour and even more food. After that it was my one and only visit to an In & Out burger joint. I had two In & Out burgers. At that point in time it seemed to me to be the best burger I'd ever had.

By the time they got me to the plane, I was so uncomfortably stuffed that takeoff felt like it might cause me to explode. Luckily I had a row to myself and could lay down. I got back here to learn I'd gained over 15 pounds during this trip.

This morning I was shocked, well, maybe not shocked, let's say surprised, to learn that, in my sister's town of Chandler, there is this place called the Heart Attack Grill, where everything they serve is bad for you. No diet Cokes, only the full sugar kind. No trans-fat free frying. Only lard is used. And if you weigh over 350 pounds you eat free.

Faux Medical staff, in the form of a doctor and scantily clad nurses, are in attendance to monitor your condition as you consume the Heart Attack Grill's food.

What I don't get is why have my burger loving relatives not mentioned this place to me. The last time I was in Phoenix they took me to a Ruby Tuesday's. I would have greatly preferred the Heart Attack Grill had I known of its existence.

Why is the Heart Attack Grill in relatively lean Arizona, and not here in relatively not lean Texas? It's perplexing. Below is an amusing YouTube video showing you the deliciousness of the Heart Attack Grill.