I saw that which you see here in the Saturday edition of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
Just the headline got my head shaking and eyes rolling.
Over two decades ago a big headline on the front page of the print version of the Star-Telegram screamed "Trinity Uptown to Turn Fort Worth into Vancouver of the South".
I remember seeing that and wondering what fresh absurd ridiculousness is this? Who could have guessed the absurdity would get so ridiculous, and last so long.
Soon the name morphed into the Trinity River Vision.
Because Fort Worth does not operate like a big city wearing its big boy pants, the public was not asked to approve this project and fund it.
The project was touted as a vitally needed flood control and economic development scheme. So vitally needed nothing much has come of the scheme, despite millions of dollars spent over the past couple decades.
Oh, there are the three freeway overpass type bridges, built over dry land, to connect the Fort Worth mainland to an imaginary island, awaiting a cement lined ditch to be dug under the bridges and filled with diverted Trinity River water.
Those three simple little bridges took an astonishing seven years to build.
And, almost forgot to mention, this vitally needed flood control project is in an area which has not flooded for well over half a century, due to levees installed way back in the 1950s by the Army Corps of Engineers.
Due to the fact that the citizens of Fort Worth were not asked to approve of this project via a bond issue it was determined that federal funds might be acquired. To that end, J.D. Granger was hired to be the director of this public works project, a job for which he had zero credentials or experience, a fact which soon became evident as various malapropisms and public embarrassments ensued.
Why hire J.D. Granger?
Well, his mother, Kay Granger, was the congresswoman representing the district of what became known as the Trinity River Central City Uptown Panther Island District Vision. It was thought giving her son a high paying job directing the Trinity River Vision would motivate his mother to secure federal funds.
When Trump came along Kay tried and failed to secure federal funds. And then gerrymandering moved Kay's district out of the Trinity River Vision zone, causing J.D. to lose his cushy job.
But not before hiring him, after firing him, for six months at $12,000 a month, allegedly so J.D. could share his vast knowledge of the stumbling project with the new people directing it.
And then Biden's Infrastructure bill passed. And suddenly there were federal funds available for Fort Worth's ridiculous Boondoggle, to the tune of around a half billion bucks.
And now we have this latest The new and improved vision for Fort Worth’s Panther Island is about to be unveiled article in the Star-Telegram.
The article contains several Star-Telegram doozies.
Such as...
The presentation comes more than two decades after the first strategic plans for the island were developed and eight years after the last update to Fort Worth’s Panther Island zoning codes.
More than two decades after the first strategic plans for the island were developed. Uh, the imaginary island did not become part of the nonsense til several years into the Boondoggle.
And then this...
More than two decades after the first strategic plans for the island were developed. Uh, the imaginary island did not become part of the nonsense til several years into the Boondoggle.
And then this...
The island is a byproduct of the 1.5-mile channel being built by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. The channel will connect two sections of the Trinity River north of downtown as a way to improve the city’s flood protection.
Does no one in Fort Worth know what an island actually is? The channel will connect two sections of the river as a way to improve the city's flood protection? Like we already said, there has been no flood in that area since levees were installed to prevent such.
Meanwhile, there are other areas of Fort Worth and Tarrant County in dire need of flood mitigation. Such as the Trinity River in East Fort Worth, which floods anytime the river runs high. Or deadly creeks which go into flash flood mode due to poorly planned development.
And this paragraph mentioning Kay's attempt at getting funding, without mentioning Kay...
Congress approved $526 million in 2016, but disagreements with the Trump administration over the project’s feasibility held up funding until the November 2021 passage of Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act enabled the Army Corps to allocate $403 million toward the project in January 2022.
And then there is this...
The initial plans for the island’s development focused on dense residential buildings with some commercial spaces. However, a preliminary report from HR&A in August 2023 called for the district to be a mix of residential, entertainment and recreation with the potential to attract companies and talent to the city.
Was this not what the supposed vision was always seeing, from the start? A mix of residential, entertainment and recreation. But, claiming this might have potential to attract companies and talent to Fort Worth? Well, the town does not have much luck with either, and I doubt the imaginary island will change that.
And, finally, this...
Was this not what the supposed vision was always seeing, from the start? A mix of residential, entertainment and recreation. But, claiming this might have potential to attract companies and talent to Fort Worth? Well, the town does not have much luck with either, and I doubt the imaginary island will change that.
And, finally, this...
It’s expected to address potential impacts to nearby neighborhoods like the north side where residents have expressed concerns about the island’s impact on the area’s unique culture. HR&A’s August 2023 report said the island should have a distinct culture while at the same time complementing and connecting its surrounding neighborhoods.
Yes, that is totally believable. Residents expressing concern over the imaginary island's impact on the area's unique culture? What culture are we talking about here? The Fort Worth Stockyards? How could the imaginary island impact Fort Worth's one and only legit tourist attraction?
Aren't the people of Fort Worth tired of this Boondoggle? Driving over those three bridges over nothing. Seeing that absurd roundabout with the million-dollar piece of supposed sculptural art which J.D. Granger somehow foisted on the Boondoggle.
Does that massive installation of Trinity River Vision propaganda billboards still exist at Gateway Park, by the Fort Woof Dog Park? Touting all the wonders to come from the Trinity River Vision.
The Boondoggle continues to be so perplexing. Over two decades of being perplexing...
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