Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Lingering Creepy Weirdness Of Fubbo The Hut

On the left you are looking at a recent photo of Fubbo the Hut.

A long time ago Fubbo the Hut was a distant acquaintance of mine.

I suffer from a syndrome known as having a Hypersensitive Empathy Complex. Years ago, due to that confounding complex, I found myself being too nice to Fubbo the Hut, due to feeling sorry for her, due to all the damage she'd done to herself, both via ingesting way too many calories and via also ingesting too much money that was not hers to ingest.

My Empathy Complex had never kicked in before for someone who was a convicted felon who had done jail time. This was new territory for me.

When it became clear to me that Fubbo the Hut's damage was all self-inflicted I found myself feeling less empathetic. That and I was more than a little offput to learn that my problem with being just too charming and amusing for my own good  resulted in Fubbo the Hut telling people I was her best friend and second husband.

Needless to say, I was mortified. Second husband to Fubbo the Hut? Like I said, mortifying.

Anyway, after over 4 years of trying to be totally rid of Fubbo the Hut, I've given up. I've decided Fubbo the Hut is like a chronic virus, or an incurable cancer, that one just puts up with as best one can.

I get emails from Fubbo the Hut, keeping me informed about her burgeoning flea market career. I must admit Fubbo's flea market career is quite astounding. Apparently Fubbo has now grown very wealthy due to having a flea market that is open once a month for a few hours. I'm guessing business schools across the world are likely studying this business model to figure out how to replicate the success.

Fubbo the Hut also continues to make the mistake of making comments on my blog, with the latest comment only recently discovered, by me, due to the comment being correctly identified, by Google, as annoying spam.

This Fubbo the Hut comment was to a blogging about Pathological Liars. I had used a classic Fubbo the Hut lie as an example of the genre, for blogging fodder. When Fubbo read this blogging, rather than own the lie, Fubbo the Hut chose to instead make the following comment, which, ironically, was full of more pathetic, pathological lies...

"I lie? Your entire life is a lie. I recently attended a reunion where I learned you are still blogging hateful things about me. Really? Is that all you've got? You are a pitiful, ugly, little man. Just so you know, people who you knew in high school know what a zero you have been in life. I am embarrassed I was ever your friend."

I really don't know where to start. But, I will try.

It totally hurts my feelings for someone who is an expert at being as ugly as Fubbo the Hut, and as pitiful, to paint me with that brush. I own a mirror, I am fully aware of how totally ugly I am. And how pitiful I am. And how little I am. I really don't need a really ugly, really fat, really pitiful woman reminding me of my ugly, little man pitifulness.

Fubbo is embarrassed she was ever my friend? Shouldn't she be more embarrassed she thought I was her best friend? And second husband?

What really impresses me is, according to Fubbo, she goes to an imaginary reunion where she has imaginary conversations with imaginary people who somehow read my blog, know the blog author is me, and know obtuse bloggings are references to Fubbo the Hut. This is a rather astoundingly ridiculous stereotypical lie from a pathological liar. I am also really impressed that Fubbo talks to imaginary people who have so accurately tracked my life that they know what a zero I have been at it. It is rather impressive for a zero at life, like myself, to have imaginary people talking about me.

Anyone, with even a passing understanding of psychology, can figure out that it is Fubbo the Hut who worries that others know she's been a big fat zero at life. A zero with a criminal record. It is obvious Fubbo mentioned attending a reunion, where I was the topic, to make me think she was referencing her class reunion, which took place last summer. What Fubbo did not know was I knew she did not attend that reunion. Did not attend, likely out of fear of someone mentioning her criminal record, or the fact that she was now a dead ringer for Jabba the Hut.

In addition to comments on my blog, Fubbo has been caught making comments on other blogs, caught by the magic of IP address tracking. The most amusing instance of this had Fubbo caught commenting her vileness anonymously, then when caught, via the IP address tracking, and made fun of, returning within an hour, to make denial comments, as Fubbo, denying ever commenting anonymously, while being so stupid she did not realize the same IP address tracking info was nailing her. At that point the pathological liar made up the lie that someone else was using her computer, making those anonymous comments.

Have I mentioned that Fubbo the Hut is stupid? Very stupid. Uneducated. Barely made it out of high school. Zero higher education. I would not say such things about someone, except, Fubbo the Hut gives herself unfiltered permission to say such things, and worse, about people, including me.

Over the years since I finally had to terminate allowing Fubbo the Hut to have direct contact with me, I have heard from many people, emailing me with questions. I think they ask me questions due to believing that I am Fubbo's best friend myth, and thus have answers, which I don't, not to all the questions, but I do to some.

For instance...

What does the Fubbo part of Fubbo the Hut stand for?

Fubbo is an acronym that stands for Fat Ugly Beast with Bad Body Odor. Yes, I realize that should make it Fubbbo the Hut, but the extra 'b' really seemed redundant. The nickname also comes from the fact that she bears a remarkable resemblance to Star Wars' Jabba the Hut. At some point in time, when Fubbo neared the quarter ton mark, her neck disappeared, consumed by the fat of her back and shoulders, which pushed her head forward, creating the Jabba the Hut look. Fubbo can not turn her head to look left or right, due to no longer having a functioning neck. I don't know how she keeps a driver's license.

On her blog Fubbo said that when she used to be thin she was into fashion. Was she actually ever thin?

I have never known Fubbo to be what anyone would consider thin. But, I have gone years, at times, without seeing Fubbo. So, she could have been thin at some point in time. I doubt it though. As for being into fashion, all I can think is how would she know what is fashionable? Let alone be into it? I've only known her to be slovenly. With really bad taste. Thus the flea market, junk dealer career, where she surrounds herself with fellow Mr. Haneys, who compliment her on her non-existent exquisite taste, while peddling re-purposed garbage.

Yes, I realize you who are reading this may be thinking what I am writing seems rather hateful. But, please refer to Fubbo's comment above where she said imaginary people had told her I was still writing imaginary hateful things about her. I really don't want to make Fubbo a bigger liar than she naturally is, and so I am trying to be a bit hateful here and thus make one of Fubbo's statements at least somewhat true.

Do you know what Fubbo did to John Bob that caused them to dump her?

The above question perplexed me. Who is John Bob I sat and wondered? I asked one of my Tacoma informants who this is. I got an answer. John Bob Cool Junk. I've met them. These are the guys who took Fubbo on her imaginary free flight to Phoenix for a free lunch, the tale of which generated the annoying comment above from Fubbo. I have no idea what Fubbo did to alienate John Bob. If history is any predictor, it likely involved Fubbo being caught in a BIG lie, or stealing something. Or both.

Do you know if Fubbo is a suspect in the mysterious death of Frank?

What? Who is Frank I wondered when I read the above question. Fubbo is now a murder suspect? I again queried my Tacoma informant. Turns out I've also met Frank. I had a few encounters with Frank and liked him. Frank despised Fubbo the Hut, accused her of stealing from him. And then ended up dead. I have no idea if this is an active homicide case, or what. Frank was a small guy. Did Fubbo sit on him?

On her blog I read that Fubbo has a group of young women lawyers, who get her, and leap to her defense when Fubbo needs defending. This was about something that happened at her show that had people taking sides for and against her. Do you know what she did?

I got an email telling me I should check Fubbo's blog to read the post referenced in the above question, with that email telling me Fubbo had gone totally into nuts mode. I just checked to refresh my memory to see Fubbo has deleted this particularly demented post. This post was far weirder than just the reference to an imaginary group of lawyers who get the incredibly difficult to get entity known as Fubbo the Hut. In the post, Fubbo had one of the imaginary lawyers sending in a Private Investigator to find out who said what about her at her flea market.  I am not making this up. Then Fubbo went off on a tangent about an uncle who molested her, giving her an STD when she was 7, after which her parents accepted  money from the uncle to keep quiet about the crime. Somehow the imaginary doctor also is convinced to keep quiet about the child with the imaginary STD.

To answer the "Do you know what she did?" question. I do not know what had people taking sides for or against her. But, as I've already said, with Fubbo the Hut, it usually involves Fubbo getting caught in a BIG lie. Or stealing. Or both.

Why is your sister involved with Fubbo and chickens?

I have absolutely no idea what my sister is doing with chickens and Fubbo. I know Fubbo has long had a chicken fixation. I remember an incident where Fubbo's chickens were left in her mother-in-law's care with the chickens all ending up dead.

Did your sisters go to Hawaii on vacation with Fubbo?

Not that I know of. I've been told about Fubbo trying get my sisters to go to Hawaii. If I remember right I blogged about this because I found it so amusing.

Fubbo is totally clueless regarding how transparent her embarrassing machinations are. She is no Machiavellian. She is more a clueless fat boob with really weird delusions. And really bad taste in all things that matter. Like knowing when to shut up. And knowing when to say she is sorry for her really bad behavior.

Have you heard anything about Fubbo getting in a fight with a homeless man in a Goodwill dumpster?

No, I have heard nothing about this. Sounds ridiculous. I  don't think Fubbo could get into a dumpster without some sort of mechanical assist, like a forklift or crane.

Fubbo told me you are homeless, living in your car. How do you get internet service in your car?

I think I have already mentioned that Fubbo the Hut is a pathological liar. I have heard from others that Fubbo tells people variations of my alleged homelessness. And that she he has gotten imaginary phone calls from imaginary people in Texas, asking Fubbo if she has the resources to help me in my imaginary dire straits, when the fact of the matter is, no one I know in Texas knows the real identity of Fubbo the Hut, let alone that lying idiot's phone number.

Well, that ends this amusing blogging about Fubbo the Hut. I'll be sure and share any incoming Fubbo the Hut lunacy should it occur.....


Gar said...

You didn't mention the weather.

I have two confessions:
1) I didn't make it through all of that post even though parts of it were rather amusing.

2) I have secret email sessions with Fubbo and feed her encouraging tidbits to flame the furry. It makes me feel better about being hurt by your demeaning demeanor.

OK, one of the above statements it not true. I can't even lie on paper.

Tacoma Girl said...

I love the Fubbo nickname for LM. It's perfect. It is very funny that she says she is now embarrassed she was ever your friend. I am sure if there is any embarrassment it is you being embarrassed to have been associated in whatever way with Fubbo. The lowball way she gossips about people is so unacceptable, plus very ironic when you hear the low opinion so many in this town have of her and the things she has done to people.

Durango said...

Garbo, I had absolutely no idea you had been somehow hurt by my totally harmless demeaning demeanor. I wish there was some way I could anesthetize this horrific pain you are feeling...

Durango said...

Tacoma Girl, if that really is your name, you have intuited correctly, I am embarrassed that I ever spent even an ounce of energy being nice to something, I mean, someone, like Fubbo the Hut.