Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A Happy Birthday Call To My Dad While Dodging Pecans, Villy Valentin & Gar The Texan's Social Awkwardness

In the picture you are looking at the currently leafless renowned giant pecan tree that has some sort of state of Texas heritage status. This particular pecan tree is in Quanah Parker Park, a very short distance from my abode.

I took the picture of the Quanah Parker Park pecan tree and then called my dad to do the Happy Birthday thing.

On my phone, mom and dad's land line's I.D. is AZMAPA.

I expected PA to answer when I called AZMAPA, but MA answered, apparently screening my dad's Happy Birthday calls.

So, I had to relay my Happy Birthday wishes, to my dad, through my mom.

I got gas this morning, up in Hurst, so, since my mom answered, I felt obligated to tell my mom I got gas and how much it cost. $2.86. That is the cheapest gas has been in awhile in my zone.

Three of my mom and dad's grandchildren, David, Theo and Ruby, left Arizona a couple days before their grandpa's birthday. I asked how the visit with the grandkids went. I think my mom said it went fine. I'm not really remembering exactly what was said. I think I may have been dodging a falling pecan.

Changing the subject to something totally different.

Who is Villy Valentin? And why am I getting email telling me Villy has added me to a circle and has invited me to join Google+. What is a circle? What is Google+? I suppose I could Google Google+ and find out.

Changing the subject from one circle to another circle.

Long suffering Gar the Texan is stuck in a vicious circle of self-recrimination, the likes of which I feel totally inadequate to respond to, when it comes to saying anything even remotely helpful.

Apparently Gar the Texan's latest Gal Pal jumped all over his case due to getting fed up with his almost non-stop judgementalizing and over use of cliches while constantly talking about himself.

The Gal Pal getting on his case set off a bad case of Gar the Texan having one of his socially awkward episodes. I do not know the details, but I suspect he likely said things that were totally inappropriate whilst trying, desperately, to say something appropriate, and the effort just spun out of control.

On the plus side, Gar the Texan's latest Gal Pal speaks English, so the moments that spin out of control are not as frequent, or as scary, as it was with any of the Germanic Gal Pals that preceded  this current English speaking GP.

I've actually only witnessed, personally, maybe a dozen instances of Gar the Texan being socially awkward, with the worst example taking place in a Chili's bar. And then there was the bizarre argument about a river running through Shreveport.

I just remembered another incident, the memory of a painfully awkward, socially inept episode flooding back.

Gar the Texan smoking cigarettes in the now defunct Gators, trying to get a Southern Belle to say "Sugar Honey" over and over again, laughing hysterically every time she said the magic phrase. I was very uncomfortable and left soon thereafter....


MLK said...

Can you send me some pecans? I will pay for shipping. You can get 70 lbs in a flat rate box. Fill 'er up.
Let me know. Really.

Durango said...

MLK---I see people gathering up pecans at Quanah Parker Park and Gateway Park. I gathered up some myself and then Googled what to do with them. The process of getting to the nut seemed like way too much bother.

Later I learned that Green's Nursery, or whatever it is called, by Veterans Park, in Arlington, will process pecans for a slight fee.

It seems like it'd take awhile to gather up 70 lbs of pecans. My usually hourly rate is $65 minimum. You still wanna hire me to be your pecan pimp?

Gar said...

OMG! I forgot all about the redheaded southern bell at Gators. Her accent was so cool. I'm laughing hysterically again just thinking about it.

I don't remember "sugar honey" being the catch phrase though. I'll have to think on it.

When I finish giggling.

I can tell you miss my socially inept catastrophes.

Durango said...

Garbo, I can tell you I've never experienced anyone else with your particular social interaction gifts, but I can't really say I miss it. I remembered another classic incident. That being your behavior in a Vasectomy Clinic waiting room.

As for the Southern Belle's catch phrase that caused you convulsive giggles, I don't actually remember it either, and so used "sugar honey" as my example.

Gar said...

I think it had something to do with a rose or a flower. It's slowly coming back to me.

As for the Vasectomy clinic, I was exaggerating my already unfortunate social inadequacies so that the doctor would not ask me any uncomfortable questions about my desire to stop procreating.

Just because you won't admit to missing it doesn't mean you don't miss it.

Word Choice Police said...

Tsk tsk! Gar’s German Gal Pals “proceeded” the current English-speaking GP??? No, no, no! “Preceded,” not ”proceeded.”
“Proceed” means to continue, to go on, to advance, etc., while “precede” means to come before (something) in time or order or position.

Durango said...

Garbo, now that you're making me think about it I think you're right. It was something like "Daddy always said I was his special Yellow Rose of Texas."

Durango said...

Word Choice Police, I am not currently seeing this bad word choice about which you so eloquently speak.

Word Choice Police said...

Lol...that's because you corrected the error!

Durango said...

Word Choice Police, I think you may be correct.