Getting Naturally Friendly In Midlothian

This morning I found out I'm going to a Naturist Facility in Midlothian, with Yvonne, called Naturally Friends. Naturally Friends does not have a website, but a lot of similar facilities in Texas do have a website. I was surprised by the number of Naturist choices in the D/FW Metroplex zone within easy driving distance.

When I Googled for info about Naturally Friends I eventually found a map of the U.S. You click a state and a list of that state's Naturist Facilities pops up.

I lived in Mount Vernon, Washington. Mount Vernon was on the Washington list. Somehow it seemed I'd been down this same path of confusion before. I could not picture there being a Naturist Facility in Mount Vernon. So, I clicked on the website link to quickly realize I'd seen this before and that the actual Naturist Facility is not in Mount Vernon, but out at Lake McMurray, which is maybe 10 or 15 miles from Mount Vernon.

That's a picture of a waterfall at the Mount Vernon/Lake McMurray Naturist Facility. I used that photo for Miss Joely, who has never seen a waterfall in person. But will this summer.

I don't know when Miss Yvonne is taking me to Midlothian and Naturally Friends. Yvonne is fond of getting what she calls "nakey," but I've never gotten "nakey" with Yvonne with a bunch of strangers thrown into the mix. I'll try not to worry too much about it. I'm sure I'll survive.

Village Creek Grim Reaper With Snakes & The MuMu Lady

A long time ago I blogged about an encounter at Village Creek Natural Historic Area with an odd woman wearing a MuMu and walking with a strange gait while waving her arms and talking to herself.

I never saw her again. Til today. In the previous encounter I said "Hello, did you see the armadillos?" To which she said "No, did you see the strange bird?"

I said "No, I have seen no bird." She then asked if she could give me her "testimony." I politely declined, but she began it anyway. I listened for a little bit and then went on my way. A short time after that I came upon her again, sitting on a bench. She then told me the story of her encounter on that bench with a mountain lion. She'd been praying, looked up to see the mountain lion. She then loudly prayed SAVE ME JESUS! And the mountain lion walked away without eating her.

Now, what is really strange about that story is I believe it to be true. There had been many reports of a mountain lion sighting along the banks of the Trinity River. And there was one story of an encounter with an elderly lady at Village Creek. I believe that elderly lady was Miss MuMu.

During my bike ride, a couple days ago, at Village Creek, I had several bad encounters. Same thing today. A crew was trimming the jungle at the sides of the trail. One had a long scythe-like thing, you know that thing the Grim Reaper has with a big blade on the end of a stick. I thought the Grim Reaper guy saw me coming and was letting me pass, but right as I got to him he swung back the scythe-like thing, in my direction. I let out a yell and disaster was averted.

A short distance from the Grim Reaper encounter I had a snake encounter. I was biking real fast, maybe 20 mph, down an incline that leads to the second dam/bridge, when I nearly ran over a well-camouflaged snake. I hit the brakes and got out the camera. My only copperhead encounter in Texas took place in about this same location. That copperhead was a big snake who would not get off the trail. Another guy had spotted the snake and warned me to stop. I was roller blading. Eventually the snake got bored and slithered away.

I forgot to mention, that's Miss MuMu lady in the picture at the top. I came upon her a second time today as she was entering the part of the trail that goes through Interlochen. She must live in one of those cool houses on a canal. I was coming up behind her, I don't think she can see very well. There's a bench at the top of the slope that leads from the dam/bridge. She sort of crawled on to the bench, getting down on her knees in the down on all fours position. It was very un-ladylike.

I pedaled on, down the slope, then hit the brakes and turned around, thinking I gotta see if I can get a picture of this. I was far enough away that she would not have been able to tell I was snapping pics. I took the pics using the maximum optical and digital zoom.

The other regular Village Creek character was there today too. Log Man. He's an older guy who walks while swinging a thick stick, like a long log. It's a little unsettling when he's swinging that thing and you bike up on him from behind. I don't think he hears very well.

Italian Police Investigate Gar the Texan

I went for my usual crack of dawn swim and then while sitting here eating breakfast I saw that Gar the Texan had freshly blogged.

When Gar the Texan was in Italy a few weeks ago he told some amusing tales of drunken misadventures and troubling train rides.

Gar the Texan had to go back to Italy a few days ago. He is now safely back in Texas where he disturbed the Memorial Day peace and quiet.

While he was in Italy, this time, Gar the Texan came under police surveillance. Why, I do not know. Suspected of being a terrorist? He no longer has an odd hairstyle that could get police attention. He used to be a mullet head, which could probably land you in jail in fashion conscious Italy.

By his own admission that boy would likely not be married, at this point in time, had he not listened to my suggestion that he lose the mullet. Has Gar the Texan thanked me for this? I don't remember for sure...

Memorial Day Pizza

When my physical therapist, Dr. Layla, read on my blog that I was having pizza for Memorial Day she sent out an urgent query, wondering what had been done to Durango. Due to Dr. Layla's erroneous belief that pizza is not health food.

I beg to differ with the doctor. She is always telling me I get way too much exercise and that I eat way too many fruits and vegetables and other healthy stuff.

But, for Dr. Layla to assume the consumption of a pizza is a fall off the health food bandwagon, well, it just makes me question her credentials and wonder if she might not be just some sort of quack pretending to be a physical therapist.

My Memorial Day Pizza was a whole wheat pie. Covered with a tomato paste base. Tomatoes are rich in lypocene. There was a chopped up red pepper on the pizza, also rich in lypocene. BBQ chicken breast was the meat product on the pizza. Other vegetables included green pepper, onion, garlic, broccoli, spinach, green and black olives, fresh tomato (more lypocene) and mushrooms. On top of all that was a smattering of low fat Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese.

Now, how can any legitimate doctor not see that this was one very healthy pizza? It perplexes me.

Memorial Day Moms, Humidity & Pizza

I've only got a few minutes before my Memorial Day pizza comes out of the oven. It is 84 and very humid here this afternoon. We had some rain overnight, hence the humidity. It seems sort of counter-intuitive to be baking a pizza in a 400 degree oven while you're running the A/C.

I was up before the crack of dawn again, which means that once again I went swimming as the sun came up. This seems to be a good way to start the day.

Due to the rain, the Tandy Hills would not have been hikeable today, most likely, so a walk around Oakland Lake Park substituted. A lot of people were there having their Memorial Day picnic.

I called my mom while I walked. Even though I didn't get gas. My one long time reader may remember that I call my mom whenever I get gas to tell her how much it cost. Yesterday I got email from my mom and dad telling me how much their Phoenix gas cost. I figured this was a hint that I'd not called with a gas call in awhile.

Yesterday I got two Facebook messages from long ago high school friends telling me they'd lost their moms and how it hard it was on both their dads. That was sort of odd to hear that from two people on the same day. I think that was what motivated me to make a non-gas related call to my mom on Memorial Day.

That's been my exciting Memorial Day. It started with an urgent cry for help from my Favorite Blogging Co-Conspirator. She finds the most interesting ways to mess things up. I find it quite enjoyable fixing them.

And now it's time for pizza.

Charlie Company Memorial in Fort Worth's Botanic Garden

Last Fall I walked all over Fort Worth's Botanic Garden looking at the Fall Foliage which was being particularly colorful. Tucked away, way off the beaten path, I came upon a lonely, neglected memorial.

It being Memorial Day I thought I'd tell the story of this Fort Worth Memorial to Charlie Company.

Way back in August of 1967 an 18 year old soldier named James David "Shorty" Haas sent a letter home from where he and his group of fellow U.S. soldiers were hunkered down deep in the steaming jungles of the Central Highlands of Vietnam.

The troops were war-weary, had suffered months of sleep deprivation and constant enemy fire. They were getting discouraged. The letter James Haas sent home asked for some sort of encouragement, some token of acknowledgment to raise the morale of his comrades.

Somehow the letter soon found its way to DeWitt McKinley, the mayor, at the time, of Fort Worth. He was touched by the simple humility of the hometown soldier caught in the throes of war, asking for nothing but a glimmer of hope.

The mayor and the people of Fort Worth responded. In September, Fort Worth's answer to the letter began to arrive in Vietnam. Duffle bags stuffed with cookies, cakes and letters of support arrived weekly. Among the many letters sent to the soldiers was one proclaiming that the City of Fort Worth had officially adopted the soldiers, formally known as Charlie Company, 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry, 173rd Airborne Brigade.

For the soldiers, this flood of reassurance came at a particularly difficult time. One soldier later commented, "You have no idea how that compassion turned us around."

Thirty-four years later, on July 6, 2001, 21 surviving members of Charlie Company met in Fort Worth's Botanic Garden to again say "Thank You" to the people of Fort Worth. Sadly, among the missing, was James David "Shorty" Haas, who's letter had touched so many.

President Obama's Wolf T-Shirt

Apparently a black t-shirt, sold on Amazon.com, that has 3 wolves howling at the moon on it, has gone viral, which means a lot of people are ordering this t-shirt, some, I suppose, due to the hype that wearing the t-shirts gives a guy magical women attracting powers.

I assume the photo of President Obama wearing one of the wolf t-shirts is not faked. The photo is on the Amazon page that sells the t-shirts.

Below is an amusing comment from a guy who wore his wolves howling at the moon t-shirt to Wal-Mart with magical results....

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called methh. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women.

Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

The World's Biggest Butt In Trafalgar Square

Well, I think I may have solved the "World's Biggest Butt" mystery. I've mentioned many a time how people come to this blog by Googling various search strings which had me thinking they were looking for the biggest human butt in the world.

But, this morning I learned that the UK is in the midst of campaign to get smokers to dispose of their cigarette butts properly, rather than dropping the butts on the ground.

Apparently a lot of pounds are spent every year picking up cigarette butts dropped all over England.

So, to publicize this anti-butt dropping campaign, the World's Biggest (Cigarette) Butt was constructed on Trafalgar Square in London.

I wondered why so many people, all over the world, thought somehow that there would be photo documentation of the biggest human butt, I mean, how would that info be gleaned? But, looking for a photo of the biggest cigarette butt in the world after you heard mention made of it, I guess that makes sense.

I don't know when the World's Biggest Butt appeared on Trafalgar Square or if it is still there.

Big Butts, Ugly Women & The Hippie Hollow Nude Beach

I've mentioned before how there are strange patterns of search strings that bring people to this blog. The last couple days, once again, it's been a world-wide search for the "Biggest Butt in the World," that people are looking for more than anything else.

From the blog stats I can see that people in Saudi Arabia have a big butt fixation.

This morning I saw three people came to this blog after Googling something like "insomnia caused by ugly fat woman." I thought to myself, why would my blog come up with that search string? So, I typed "insomnia caused by ugly fat woman" into the search window and was appalled to see my blog comes up as #1 when someone searches for "insomnia caused by ugly fat woman."

I'd forgotten I'd blogged on this subject after I had a nightmare of being chased by several scary, ugly, fat women. The scary, ugly, fat woman, who was the source of the nightmare, bears an uncanny resemblance to the guy in the picture.

I'm likely going to have an insomnia episode tonight due to this subject being brought back to the forefront of my consciousness. I hope it doesn't turn into another sleepwalking trauma.

Speaking of traumas, I can see people are looking for info about Hippie Hollow, likely looking for something different to do this Memorial Day. If you've never gone to a nude beach, this might just be the different thing to do that you are looking for. If it weren't such a long drive to Hippie Hollow I might go there on Monday. Nothing I like better than communing with nature.

Which means I think I'll go pedal the mountain bike trail at River Legacy Park today.

Wal-Mart's Institutionalized Thievery Strikes Again

Yes, I realize my one longtime reader is rolling her eyes and thinking he's not going to go on about Wal-Mart sucking again, is he?

Why, yes I am. Earlier this month I blogged several times about how Wal-Mart, system-wide, was charging $2.00 for a gallon of milk, when their shelf price signs had it at $1.98. After the 3rd or 4th time of being overcharged 2 cents, I went to Customer Service, assuming the longstanding practice of totally refunding the price of a mistake was still in play, but instead I just got my 2 cents worth back. And the satisfaction of blogging about it.

I then got a very long comment from some guy who I found out later has a Wal-Mart Sucks Blog. He referred to Wal-Mart's pricing scams, which have become chronic, as Wal-Mart's Instituionalized Thievery.

Yes, I know I said I wasn't going to shop at Wal-Mart anymore, but, other than Sprouts, where am I to go? Sprouts is 12 miles north. I'm not going to go there every time I need something. And today I needed bread. I got only 6 items. Of the items, the bread was the only item I had noticed what the price was.

I usually get Wal-Mart brand whole wheat bread. For a long time, for some reason, Wal-Mart wasn't stocking their Wal-Mart brand whole wheat bread. They substituted locally made Mrs. Baird's whole wheat bread for the same price, that being $1.47. Mrs. Baird's whole wheat bread is usually $1.78.

Today the Wal-Mart brand whole wheat bread had gone missing again. And once again, there was Mrs. Baird's in its place, with $1.47 once more as the price.

But, when I checked out, the bread scanned at $1.78, a 31 cent difference. I know you're thinking if I went to the bother of going to Customer Service to get my 2 cents worth I certainly would do that again to get a whopping 31 cents. Well, you would be wrong. Even though there was no line in Customer Service I wasn't going to waste time to get a measly 31 cents.

I have other ways of making Wal-Mart pay for their Institutionalized Thievery...