Obama's Informercial Causes Me Nightmare

Last night I was engrossed in something on this computer at the time Obama's Infomercial came on at 7. Central Time. A bit after 7 I remembered I wanted to watch the Infomercial, so I turned on the TV, hit the pause button and went to make popcorn.

(I'm loving how this AT&T U-Verse DVR thing let's me watch TV on my own schedule)

So, after the popcorn was popped and the butter melted I hit the "play" button.

Now. Here is where it gets weird. By morning I was confused at to what I'd watched. I woke up thinking the Obama Infomercial was the most bizarrely surreal political thing I'd ever seen. And that it'd cost him the election.

It was a scene in the Infomercial where it appeared that Obama's head was sticking out of a field of green Astro-Turf. And then his arm and hand sort of came out of the Astro-Turf, waving around, gesturing. I sat there on my couch mesmerized as the Astro-Turf scene turned into an elaborate dancing musical production with Barack singing "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" while dancing with Michelle while all sorts of Democrat notables were backup singers and dancers, including Bill and Hillary.

As I sat there mesmerized I remember hearing Rush Limbaugh yapping about some professor somewhere saying that Obama had a hypnotic effect on old women and teenagers. I'm neither, but this morning I thought, wow, I think I was hypnotized last night.

Then, the more I thought about, and after reading the morning paper with no mention in the commentary of the Obama Infomercial being strange and surreal, I slowly realized that what I thought I was remembering as viewing last night was actually a nightmare.

I confirmed this this morning when I asked someone else who had viewed the Obama Infomercial if there was a scene of Obama's head sticking out of Astro-Turf, morphing into a Busby Berkely singing and dancing routine.

I was told that none of that was in the Obama Infomercial. And that it was very well-done.

I've long known I have a problem regarding confusing my dreams and nightmares with reality. The trouble comes from the fact that my dreams and nightmares are cinematic in their detail. I live entire movies during the night. It's exhausting at times. And confusing.

Seattle Sonics aka Oklahoma City Thunder & Aubrey McClendon's Evil Grip

A few days ago I blogged about an FW Weekly article about Aubrey McClendon, he being the evil doer who is behind all sorts of nefarious dirty dealing, including lying to steal the Seattle Supersonics from Seattle.

When I read the FW Weekly article, I, with my problem about paying attention to details, did not notice that the cover photo of the notorious Aubrey McClendon had his evil grip around a hapless Seattle Sonic player. Number 35 whoever that is. Spencer Haywood? That shows how old I am and when I last paid close attention to the Sonics.

The Oklahoma City Thunder are now playing. The new season of the NBA is underway. If you want to see the former Sonics play, it costs you way way way way less than it did in Seattle. You can probably get airfare to hapless OKC, plus your game ticket, for less than the small fortune it cost to see a game in Seattle.

As in I saw an ad for the OKC Thunder a day or two ago where the tickets ranged from $10 to $20. That's Seattle prices from the 70s. Keep in mind, though, you'll be watching the game in a town that is not quite up to the standards of 1970s Seattle.

Several of the Seattle players are not at all happy about going from trendy, upscale, super fabulous Seattle to dowdy, out in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma City. Several have left their family's behind, not wanting to move their kids to inferior schools.

I don't blame them. I like OK, I've met great OK people, but the schools, well, let me put it this way. I know a family who moved from my zone of Washington to Oklahoma. Their kids were average C students in Washington. In Oklahoma their kids were suddenly A students, top of their class. And very popular. The Okies thought they were British. Our Yankee accents can be confusing to the locals.

Meanwhile back in Seattle. They'll likely have a new NBA team in a year or two. It'll likely be called the Seattle Supersonics. There'll likely be a new basketball arena built. And Seattle people will have a great time booing and beating the OKC Thunder whenever they come to town.

Phone Interview With Michelle Obama Over Lobsters

After I heard my favorite amusing bloviator, Rush Limbaugh, rant about Michelle Obama's alleged lobster binging at the Waldorf-Astoria, I blogged about it. Since then any number of search strings looking for info about Mrs. Obama's supposed seafood binge causes my blog to show up and thus people to read my version of the scandal, followed by comments.

After 2 weeks of it not letting up I decided it was time someone somewhere asked Michelle Obama directly what was up with all that lobster. It was a little more difficult to get Mrs. Obama on the phone than some people I call, but I have my ways of getting through. I won't say I'm always totally scrupulous, but I'm always on the side of truth, justice and the American Way.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008, 11:45---2 Weeks after Lobster-Gate began, Mrs. Obama answered her cell phone. What follows is as accurate a transcript of the conversation that transpired that my limited technical abilities could muster....

Durango---Well, let's get right to it. On Wednesday, October 15, the afternoon of your husband's last debate, it has been alleged, all over the Internet, that you ordered lobster appetizers, 2 steamed lobsters, Iranian caviar and champagne from room service at the Waldorf-Astoria. Is this true?

Mrs. O---Why would I be in the Waldorf-Astoria the afternoon of my husband's last debate? I don't like lobster and I don't think I've ever tasted caviar that I liked, Iranian or otherwise.

Durango---Okay, but you aren't exactly denying being in the Waldorf-Astoria. Or eating lobster. You could eat it and not like it. And you could be in the Waldorf and later at the debate. And no one likes caviar.

Mrs. O---I'm not saying I couldn't or I didn't or I wouldn't.

Durango---What are you saying?

Mrs. O---I'm saying it's nobody's business, but mine, what I eat, when I eat it or where I eat it.

Durango---Yes, you can say it's nobody's business, but there are a lot of people out there, like Rush Limbaugh, who are making it their business, claiming that your expensive lobster habit proves you and your husband are elitists. Or something like that.

Mrs. O---(Laughing) I could not get my husband to eat something like lobster or caviar no matter what power of persuasion I used.

Durango---No one is talking about your husband's taste in lobster, it is your lobster gorging that has the country talking.

Mrs. O---I don't understand why people would worry about such a thing.

Durango---Well, there isn't a lot going on out there, that and I guess there is some worry that if you'd spend almost $500 at the Waldorf-Astoria, for some expensive seafood, fish eggs and booze, that you might be a real expensive First Lady ordering who knows what from who knows where for State Dinners. I guess there is some concern that we've never had an elitist with expensive tastes in the White House before.

Mrs. O--- I must admit I am very flattered that people think of me as an elitist with expensive tastes, that's one of the nicest compliments I've ever received, but it just isn't true. If anything, given my actual tastes, people might want to worry that I'll call up the Colonel and order in a ton of Kentucky Fried Chicken with all the fixin's for a State Dinner. If I'd been caught ordering from the KFC drive-up window would the Internet be all abuzz over my bad tastes? Sometimes you just can't win. So I don't try. Let people think what they want.

Durango---Are you saying this interview is over?

Mrs. O---Yes, and it has been very nice talking with you. Goodbye. Come see us in the White House. We'll order in. But not from the Waldorf.

Durango---Thanks for your time and for the invite to the White House. I'll be looking forward to it. Couldn't you just have the White House kitchen whip up some lobsters instead of ordering in?

Catching Gar Fish In Texas

There are a lot of disturbing things in the lakes of Texas. I've seen and swam with some of them.

I've been chased in Lake Grapevine by a Giant Turtle that at first I thought was a Water Moccasin.

I have seen Water Moccasin swimming in a lake.

The swim hole at Dinosaur Valley State Park has a sign warning potential swimmers to beware of potential Snapping Turtles. It was an inviting looking swim hole, but the Snapping Turtle warning stopped me from getting in the water.

The most disturbing thing I've seen in Texas water is the half alligator/half fish monster known as an Alligator Gar Fish aka Gator Gar Fish aka Gator Gar aka Gar Fish.

If I'm not mistaken Gar the Texan is named after Gar the Fish.

A few weeks after my first Gar Fish encounter I was at Lake Grapevine talking to these sunbathers and they told me the week before one of their boyfriends had stepped on the teeth of a Gar Fish right near where we were talking. That same day a pair of fishermen told me they'd seen 4 Water Moccasins swim out from under the dock. That was the same dock I escaped to when I was chased by the Giant Turtle. I assume the Giant Turtle was a Snapping Turtle, because it seemed to be snapping while it was chasing me.

If you've not heard of an Alligator Gar Fish or have not seen one, check out the video below and you'll see an example of the horror that lurks in lakes in Texas...

My Blood Pressue Is High

I had an early morning doctor's visit today. I was up by 5 am. I drank my usual amount of coffee while reading the morning paper and checking in on my computer.

I have had highly labile blood pressure readings for years. I hate going to see a doctor. No good ever comes of it. More often than not I lose an important body part.

The last time I lost an important body part, upon my first doctor's visit that ended up with the important body part loss, my blood pressure was through the roof. The doctor was quite concerned. I told him it was because I'm a nervous wreck due to the idea of losing an important body part. I told the doctor the blood pressure would quickly be back in healthy range.

I don't think he believed me. As I stood at the receptionist's counter, making my appointment to lose an important body part, another nurse snuck up behind me and started taking my blood pressure. It was much lower. See, I told the doctor, you made me nervous.

I remember one time, in Moab, taking my blood pressure on one of those supermarket blood pressure machines. If I remember right alarm bells went off. That particular high blood pressure incident was due to the fact that I was traveling with some difficult energy sucking people. When they finally left so did my high blood pressure. Like I said, it is highly labile.

I believe I was in danger of eminent stroke my entire time last summer up in Tacoma. I could tell my blood pressure was through the roof. I remember feeling my blood pressure start to drop as soon as I entered Sea-Tac airport for my return. As we lifted off I could tell my blood pressure had reduced to totally normal.

When my blood pressure is bad it can be in the 190/120 zone. When it's good it can be in the 110/60 zone.

I find it troubling that my blood pressure does not stay in the good range, no matter what is stressing me. I'm not overweight, I get a lot of exercise, I eat very nutritionally, I don't consume excessive amounts of alcoholic beverages unless I'm in the type situation that causes my blood pressure to rise, I don't put salt on anything, I'm not African-American, as far as I know. My one bad sin is I drink coffee.

I've quit coffee before due to the high blood pressure. Being off the caffeine drug for a month had no noticeable affect on the BP. Coffee withdrawal is a horrible thing. I don't want to go through that again.

Other than the high blood pressure apparently I am in excellent health. I am going to fix this high blood pressure problem of mine. Somehow. It has vexed me for way too long.

Christmas in Texas, Part II

I'd forgotten til I searched that I'd blogged about my aversion to Christmas already. Another indicator of my not so good memory.

The last several years I've gone to Miss Puerto Rico's company Christmas Party. Those have been fun. Except for last year. The previous years were at this place called Austin Ranch up by Lake Grapevine. Sort of a Dude Ranch. It is a cowboy themed place, big bar, unlimited booze, dance floor, music, gambling and a lot of food.

Then last year it was at this awful place called Dave & Buster's, sort of like a poor man's Gameworks. It was crowded. There was no music. No dancing. No gambling. No unlimited booze. But the food was good.

This year I figured I wasn't going to Miss Puerto Rico's Christmas party due to her being in Puerto Rico at the time.

But a couple days ago I was in Miss Puerto Rico's office and I popped in to say howdy to her boss who had been gone for a month. Her boss said howdy, then told me the Christmas Party is December 5. I said Miss Puerto Rico is gonna be on the island then. Miss Puerto Rico's boss then said I had to go with her, that the party wouldn't be the same without me. I then said, yippee, I have a date for the Christmas Party. This should be fun, Miss Puerto Rico's boss is very amusing.

As for the actual Christmas, one of those holidays I generally dread, due partly to my inability to comprehend why people go to such a fuss. This year I think I'll drive to Phoenix, unannounced, and surprise my mom and dad and sister. And my brother. I'll stay in a motel so as to not inconvenience anyone with my slovenly ways and bad habits.

You in Texas who are looking for a fun Texas Christmas thing to go to, go here to a webpage I made, not due to my love of the holiday. I had ulterior purposes.

Freezing in North Texas

It was 35 at midnight. 32 was the overnight low. I was not tempted to see if it was possible to get in the pool at these temperatures.

It was a bit cold in here early this morning. But I didn't feel like turning the furnace on. So, I put on a wool cap and layers of other things and bundled up like I was in Tacoma in summer.

About noon it'd thawed out enough and I'd warmed up enough and I'd sat at this computer long enough that I decided to go roller blading at Quanah Parker Park again.

You may remember, my one reader, that just 2 days ago I went roller blading at Quanah Parker Park and it was in the 80s and I was shirtless. Today I rollerbladed in sweatpants and wore my wool cap. And kept my shirt on, though I did take off an extra shirt by the time I started rolling, but I got a bit chilly in just a t-shirt.

It's supposed to get warm here in a couple days, again, but I think we've had a bad sample of an upcoming very cold winter.

Come To The Tandy Hills: Prairie Notes From Don Young

Prairie Notes: October 26, 2008
Orchids & Earth-movers

My Indian Summer Sunday Morning God, I Hate Gas Drilling Hike turned out to be more than expected. While evil-doers ripped into ancient prairie soil within earshot, I contemplated the contrast between short sighted human greed vs. Mother Nature's long term, yet fragile, superiority. blah blah blah. It's too early in the morning for such thoughts. I needed a distraction.

Nodding Ladies' Tresses, to be precise. (Spiranthes cernua to be more precise.) Distraction accomplished.

One year after record rainfall resulted in tall-grass heaven at Tandy Hills Natural Area, a nagging drought has severely stunted the autumn grasses and wildflowers. Nevertheless, Tandy Hills has a knack for surprises.

Over the years I have observed that these sparsely scattered orchids prefer an east-facing, partially shaded slope. That describes exactly the conditions where I spotted about a dozen blooming plants. Their fragrance is almost enough to make one forget the diesel-powered injustice being committed a short distance away.

Walking back up the hill, my eyes caught a fleeting glimpse of (I think) a Cooper's Hawk arching overhead. (Tandy Hills is home to a pair of them.) I am always struck by the speed of these birds of prey. They move so fast I've yet to get a proper ID on them.

The new drill pad next door has the hawks (and me) on full alert. While I worry they feast on escaping rodents. That may be good for their short term needs, but I worry about the long run. Their habitat has been reduced by another five acres and more acreage loss is probable. The air up there is more toxic than before. The noise, dust, polluted water, etc. from drilling operations is bound to put their health and safety at risk. I guess the same can be said for us bipedal primates who haven't yet escaped.

But worry not. Today we have orchids. Don't miss them.

Come to the meadow and get distracted from whatever is bothering you.

DY

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DY's convinced me. I'm in the need for distracting, so I think it's off to the Tandy Hills again today, in search of an orchid.

The Real Real Housewives of Atlanta

Go to my new Durango TV Blog for more Real Housewives of Atlanta

It turns out that the housewives on the Bravo TV show called The Real Housewives of Atlanta don't actually live in homes in Atlanta. They live in suburbs of Atlanta. If that is what it takes to be a Real Housewife of Atlanta I know of a couple very real Real Housewives of Atlanta, living in Cummings, on the outskirts of Atlanta. These Atlanta Housewives would make much more real reality TV than the ones on the Bravo show.

Speaking of which, I've now watched 3 episodes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It's just about the most appalling of this type show I've seen. Made more so by these sadly deluded, supposed housewives, over the top conspicuous consumption.

I was disturbed from the start by the one blonde, Kim Zolciak. Continued viewing of this unmarried "real" housewife added to the disturbance. She smokes constantly. Is seldom without a wine glass. Has bizarre delusions that she is going to be a country western singer. And most shocking, she is what I believe is called a "kept" woman. Supported by a guy she calls "Big Papa" because "Big Papa" is a supposed celebrity who doesn't his face or name to be on TV. Likely to keep his wife in the dark. Good luck.

It did not take long for Bravo TV viewers to uncover that supposed celebrity "Big Papa" is an Atlanta multi-millionaire real estate developer named Lee Najjar. In the very first episode Kim called up "Big Papa" and told him she wanted to go buy a new Cadillac Escalade. Fine he said. So Kim drove to the dealership and wrote a check for over $60K and drove away.

Kim claims to be 28. She looks pretty well worn for 28. She has a daughter who is 11. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Let's shut up about the Kept Woman Kim and move on to Cleveland Cavalier basketball player Eric Snow's wife DeShawna. In the first episode we see the Snow's arrive at their new 15,000 square foot home. The Snow's had not seen it. Built it, bought it, sight unseen. The architect said she worked with DeShawna a grand total of 3 hours on the design.

DeShawna went on and on about how she's always known she was destined for great things. And now she has an Estate Manager, a personal maid, a cook, a nanny and I forget what else. Oh yeah, the DeShawn Snow Foundation. On the show we see DeShawn ineptly make plans, on the fly, to raise a million bucks for her foundation. Turns out that her foundation is a disaster. As reported by the Ripoff Report.

At one point DeShawn goes on about her and her family being devout churchgoers. That's fine with me. Then DeShawn tells us that they religiously tithe. Then we see her dropping a $25K check into the collection plate. Let's see, I suck at math, but I believe that's over $1.3 million a year. Which must mean the husband, Eric, makes about $13 million a year playing basketball.

Does it make you feel good, Cleveland Cavalier fans, to know what your hard earned money is being spent on?

Basically, near as I can tell, expect for maybe 2 exceptions, all these women on the Bravo show are basically kept women living very bizarre self-absorbed delusion filled lives that makes for some pretty funny, appalling TV viewing.

Fort Worth Star-Telegram Obama Endorsement Reaction

I guess it was to be expected, but it's still a bit disturbing, that being the reaction by some readers, as evidenced in Letters to the Editor in this morning's Star-Telegram, to the Star-Telegram's full page Sunday endorsement of Barack Obama for President.

There were several letters in support of the Star-Telegram's Obama endorsement. But those seemed reasonable and non-nutcase, so not as interesting. Below are a few of the Anti-Obama Endorsement letters....

I am so mad I could spit. I can’t believe the Star-Telegram would recommend a socialist/communist for president. Just give him a year and he will control the paper. The head honcho of the Star-Telegram should leave America because he is anti-American. Anyone who votes for the socialist/communist does not have America’s best interests at heart.

I will be laughing when he becomes the dictator and you will not have the freedom to print what you want to. It will come to pass and it will serve you right, you Obama-loving, anti-American socialists/communists (anyone who votes for Obama fits this description). You want redistribution of wealth, which is Marxist, not American.

America is dead as we know it. Four years of the socialist/communist Obama and we will be like Iran, Cuba, Russia (any country that is a dictatorship, we will be also).

— Pat Spencer, Fort Worth

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The Star-Telegram recommended Barack Hussein Obama for president? By doing so, it also endorses the Democrat-controlled Congress. Just how ignorant is that?

So what’s the surprise? Another dog-and-pony show in an attempt to justify a factually unjustifiable endorsement? But it doesn’t work, at least not for those who will vote from the facts that have cast history from true cause and effect.

Obama will remain not only a far-left socialist, but one cultured in the belief of another more dangerous and inequitable dogma. Anyone of any insight at all knows what it is. It need not be rewritten, for the Obama voter not only denies it, but also by immoral compassion embraces it as their own. It is so ignorant that it defies its own recognition.

Many have hoped that this veil of ignorance will somehow be lifted between now and the Nov. 4 election. But the evidence is yet to be revealed.

For America’s sake, the “hope” remains that the majority of each state’s “citizen” voters will recognize the Obama facade and vote from reality rather than poor fiction.

— Richard M. Holbrook, Weatherford

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Horrors! How could you recommend Barack Obama for president? The man has less than one term as a senator and you think he can run this country? Surely this is a Halloween joke!

I can take comfort in the fact that hardly anyone reads your newspaper anymore and even fewer take to heart what you endorse.

— Marian Ramsey, Fort Worth

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It was with little surprise that I opened the Opinion section Sunday to see a full-page, fawning recommendation of Sen. Barack Obama. You’ve been telegraphing this at least since the end of the Democratic primaries, and for a paper whose internal editorial policy is to “Get Bush” (see, the folks you laid off talked), it brings little shock.

Being old enough to remember the first Obama, er, Carter administration, I believe that we are headed down the same old road, only this time the Iranians will have nukes. I also believe that the 13.5 percent home loan I first had as a result of that administration’s policies is just a start with this tax-and-spend bunch.

So, go ahead and continue using the low-angle Obama head shots to make him look heroic (see, I know how this works) and keep up the fawning. Maybe it will anger the moderate electorate to drive the election to Sen. John McCain.

I certainly hope so, for our sake.

— Gerry Nichols, Lakeside

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I was astounded to see a whole page spread in your paper openly recommending Barack Obama for president. What everyone thinks about their choice for president is their own opinion. However, when a news outlet puts an editorial out that says the Star-Telegram recommends Barack Obama for president, I think that is overstepping the bounds of objective journalism.

Now, I know that you are trying to get away with this by putting this article in the Opinion section. I find it very hard to believe that every single person employed at your paper agrees with that statement that you printed. I would quit if I worked for a company that made blanket statements like that.

It is not about whether the article supported Obama. It is about the fact that your readers cannot count on objective journalism off the editorial page when you make blanket statements like that. This is yellow journalism in its finest.

— Jill Harper, Keller

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I was so disappointed when I opened my paper Sunday and saw the huge picture and editorial recommendation for Barack Obama. I knew my hometown paper was liberal, but this is ridiculous!

Gov. Sarah Palin has much more experience in government than Obama, and Sen. John McCain has more experience than Obama and Sen. Joe Biden put together. Just because Obama is an elegant speaker doesn’t make him ready to lead and protect us! And that huge picture of him was overkill! I’m just disappointed in my paper!

— Carlye Arnold, Arlington

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After seeing your recommendation of Barack Obama for president, the only reason I don’t cancel my subscription is that my wife uses the ads and coupons. Your paper will merely be a propaganda arm for the new “We will control everything” government under Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Obama. Never in my lifetime — 13 presidential races — have I seen a serious candidate so unqualified under the normal meaning of the word.

— J Morris Johnston, Mansfield

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I never thought I would see the day that the Star-Telegram would support the most unqualified presidential candidate ever to run. He has no military or leadership experience to be commander-in-chief.

He has very little government experience. He has no respect for the flag or national anthem. He is supported by the Islamic leaders of the world and has vowed to negotiate with them. He is obviously a socialist because of his medical and wealth redistribution policy. I suspect the founders of the Star-Telegram are turning over in their graves!

— Robert Rainey, Arlington

And now for a final letter, one of the letters in support of the Star-Telegram's decision to endorse Barack Obama.....

I’m sure you were getting a ton of nasty mail Monday morning thanks to your principled decision to endorse our next president, Sen. Barack Obama. As a Star-Telegram subscriber, I just want to say thank you! Your reasoning was logical and well-stated, and I sincerely hope it sways the few folks who are undecided. It is really gratifying to see my hometown paper make the right choice. I’ll be renewing my subscription to offset at least one of the cancellations I’m sure you’ve received.

— Anna Brosovic, Arlington