The Fremont Solstice Naked Bike Parade

Yesterday or the day before I mentioned how things are a bit different up in Seattle than here in the D/FW Metroplex.

The Independent Republic of Fremont, in Seattle, has an annual event to celebrate the summer solstice.

Part of this event is a bike ride. Where bike riders are in various states of undress. This has been going on for 20 years and each year it's bigger than the year before.

I have never watched the Fremont Solstice Parade. I have been to Fremont. It's like visiting the former Soviet Union. Complete with statues of Lenin.

Below is video of last year's Fremont Solstice Naked Bike Parade. This year's parade is just a bit more than a month from now. In case you wanna go.

Hillary in West Virginia Primary

I grow tired of so many Democrats saying it's time for Hillary to give up. Neither she nor Obama will likely have enough delegates to win the nomination by the time the final primary closes.

So, what is so wrong with having an old-fashioned convention where the choice is made at the actual convention?

When Ford had more delegates than Reagan heading into the, I think, 1976 Republican Convention, I don't recollect there being cries for Reagan to drop out for the good of the party.

It's only been in recent times that there's this notion that it's to be all wrapped up by the time of the convention. That may be one reason why the conventions have not been as interesting in recent times.

What if it takes a dozen votes before Obama is finally chosen? What would be so bad about that?

The News Goons and Talking Heads would have such a fun time tracking defections and speculating about deals being made.

It would seem the Democrats would come out of the thing stronger, not weaker.

But, I don't really care about that. I just want to see an old-fashioned convention like the good old days. No Chicago type riots though, that would be a bad thing.

Tarzan and Jane Skinny Dipping

By the early 1930's Hollywood movies were really pushing the envelope with very adult content, both theme wise and nudity wise. The complaints from religious fanatics and worried mothers grew so numerous that a thing called the Hays Office was created to censor movies. Censorship lasted until the 1960s when the lid came off and we began down the path that led us to the vulgar state of too many of today's movies. And TV.

I'd long known there was a skinny dipping scene in Tarzan and his Mate. I did not know that Ted Turner restored the censored scene in 1986. In the infamous scene Tarzan throws Jane into a pond with her dress getting snagged on a tree branch, rendering Jane naked. Tarzan jumps after Jane. Tarzan and Jane then swim for quite a long time under water. An Olympic swimmer named Josephine McKim temporarily replaces Maureen O'Sullivan as Jane during the skinny dipping. With Maureen back being Jane she gets out of the water and has to tell Cheetah multiple times to "Give it to me, Give it to me." Cheetah holds her dress hostage while he laughs at her.

Watch the video to see what disturbed Depression Era religious fanatics. And prudish mothers.

Texas Tornado Hail Storm Video

On April 17, 2008 we had ourselves a fairly hellacious storm here in the Dallas/Fort Worth zone of Texas. This was the storm I whined about because it sent the local TV weather guys into non-stop all night long yammering. So, I didn't get to watch Survivor. The storm that had the weather guys in such a dither did not produce a tornado. Six days later another bad storm came along, once more during TV prime time. But this time the local TV did not go into Weather Drama Queen Mode. Yet that storm did produce a tornado which destroyed 4 homes in Crowley. Crowley is a suburb south of Fort Worth.

Back to the April 17 storm. There are these guys who are Tornado Chasers. They have a website called Tornadovideos.net. These guys were in their Storm Chase Vehicle near Weatherford, in the heart of the storm.

Watch the Tornado Chaser's video below and you will see just how hellacious these Texas storms are. At the start the Tornado Chasers are driving through the hail. Eventually they have to stop. The guys get out of their Storm Chase Vehicle and one gets whacked on the head by incoming hail. The hail keeps getting bigger and bigger til it's baseball size. The giant hail cracks their windshield. By the time the hail stops falling the ground is thickly covered with big hail balls that make it look like there has been a big snowfall.

The Battle at Kruger

Oblivious as I am to the world around me it is not too big a surprise that I'd not seen what I guess is the most viewed video on YouTube. That being "The Battle at Kruger." Over 31 millions video views. This video was the Winner of YouTube's Best Eyewitness Video. YouTube must have some sort of awards show. I suppose there is a YouTube video of the YouTube Video Awards Show.

There is a "The Battle at Kruger" website. If you are at work, be warned the website opens with loud jungle music. The turn off the sound button is small, scroll down and you'll find it on the left side of the page.

The Battle at Kruger video lasts a bit over 8 minutes. Stay with it til the end and you are rewarded with a happy ending.

Naked in Seattle

Each morning after I read the hard copy Fort Worth Star-Telegram I then read the online version of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer to get a, well, more intelligent version of a newspaper. I miss the daily hard copy of the P-I. In all my years of reading the P-I I don't recollect anything about it annoying me, or finding a mistake. I've lost count of the mistakes I've come across in the Star-Telegram. One would have thought I'd spot a mistake or two in the P-I, since I lived in its coverage zone for my entire life, til moving to Texas. Yet, even with me not all that familiar with the coverage zone of the Star-Telegram, I find errors. I think one can extrapolate from that that there must be a lot more errors that I don't spot because I'm not familiar with what's being written about.

Anyway, this morning whilst reading the P-I I was struck, yet again, by how starkly different the West Coast is from Texas. I knew prior to moving that it would be much more conservative, overall, in the Buckle of the Bible Belt. It's not a secret that the West Coast, and Washington in particular, and certainly Seattle, is much more liberal than Texas.

Washington is also way less repressive and, I dunno, free-spirited might be the words I'm looking for. Like in today's P-I on the front page there's a photo of a nudist swinging on a rope over the Ballard Pool. That's the photo above. I can't imagine such a photo appearing in the Star-Telegram. Let alone an article about a local pool's nude swims.

There are a few nudist colonies in Texas and a nude beach called Hippie Hollow down by Austin. The West Coast has nude runs, nude swims, nude bike rides & nude hikes. Vancouver has Wreck Beach, that's a huge nude beach where thousands congregate on a hot summer day. I've been there once. It was fun. But I got sunburned in unfortunate places. Near where I lived in Washington there is a nude beach called Teddy Bear Cove. I remember many a fun night at a natural hot springs near the Mount Baker volcano. It is a short hike through old growth forest to Baker Hot Springs. On a weekend night there were often dozens of nude hot springers having a real good time. Early in the Reagan years orders came from Washington to shut down Baker Hot Springs. It has since been restored to its former glory.

There is a Seattle neighborhood called Fremont that seceded from the Union and declared itself the Independent Republic of Fremont. Fremont has an annual event called the Summer Solstice Parade and Pageant. Thousands attend. A highlight is the nude bike ride. A few years back there was an attempt by some prudes to force clothes on the bike riders. That attempt failed.

I can't imagine a parade in Texas featuring a nude bike ride. If one wanted to go on a nude hike in Texas I don't think it'd be much of a problem because there are a lot of fine parks with fine trails and very very very few Big Texans out hiking on them. Regarding that I'll just say this, for the same reason it is pleasant to swim in the buff it is also pleasant to hike sans outerwear.

Below is a video of a pair of Canucks crossing the border, legally, and heading to Baker Hot Springs. In the video they erroneously name Baker Lake as Mount Baker Lake. I point that out lest you visit the fine state of Washington and want to seek out that scenic lake. There is no one but the Canucks in the hot springs and this pair of Canadians broke the rules by keeping their clothes on. Shameless scofflaws.

Below the video is today's fresh goofiness from the Star-Telegram.



Okay, today's Star-Telegram goofiness is once more that bizarre policy of supposedly making a story local unlike the evil paper in the evil city 30 miles east of Fort Worth, by pointing out any remote Texas connection to someone being written about. On the TV page, in a blurb about a show on FOX called Bones, we learn a guy from American Idol will be on tonight's show. And "fellow Idol grad---and former University of North Texas student---Brandon Rogers also appears and Burleson's Kelly Clarkson gets name-dropped."

Wow! Burleson's Clarkson gets named dropped and some guy who dropped out of a Texas college is on the show! I'm sure glad we got reminded for the umpteenth time that Kelly Clarkson is from Burleson. I almost forgot.

And then on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire The Colony's (that's a Dallas suburb) Janelle Newland goes after the big bucks today, and she's not the last North Texan we'll see during the next couple weeks." Oh thank God, a reason to go on living.

If that is not enough excitement, on American Gladiator, "competition begins, with the challengers including Dallas' Jeff Davidson and his wife, Ally..."

Jenna Bush Tornado Free Wedding

The Jenna Bush wedding did not get hit by the line of storms that passed through north Texas yesterday.

Oh well.

I apologize to my 2 readers for once more succumbing to one of my more pathetic obsessions, but, this morning's Sunday Fort Worth Star-Telegram had the goofiest example yet of their bizarre policy of trying to tie any story to any remote pointless connection to Fort Worth.

I believe the Star-Telegram's #1 worst reporter is Anna Tinsley. She is the writer who over and over and over again repeated the nonsense that a lame Fort Worth food court was the first pubic market in Texas and was modeled after Seattle's Pike Place. I can remember 2 other glaring errors, one being in her description of trails at Bob Jones Park up by Lake Grapevine. The other being several bizarre mistakes in an article about a new section of trail at River Legacy Park.

So, in this morning's Star-Telegram, Anna Tinsley apparently was sent to Crawford to cover the Jenna Bush wedding.

Under a sub-headline "Texas 'royalty'" Miss Tinsley writes:

"It's like our royalty in Texas is getting married," said Stacy Wallace, a Temple woman who originally hails from Fort Worth. "I've been wanting to come by for some time, and I thought (Saturday) was the perfect day to do it."

She originally hails from Fort Worth? Why is this information we need? So, Miss Tinsley solicited the quote about Texas royalty, telling Miss Wallace she was a reporter for the Fort Worth paper and Miss Wallace then said she hailed from Fort Worth and so Miss Tinsley added that important fact to her story about the Jenna Bush wedding? Is that how this useless point ended up in the paper?

And what precisely does "hails from" mean? Comes from? Doesn't to hail something mean give a shout out to? Or call? Okay, I'll look it up. Well, after we get past the frozen version of hail and objects thrown forcefully through the air and an enthusiastic greeting and to praise vociferously we get to hail meaning to be a native of.

If Miss Wallace now lives in Temple does she still qualify as a native of Fort Worth?

I'm past caring now. Below is an amusing video about the Jenna Bush wedding. It sounds like the report comes from India.

Tornado Warning for Jenna Bush Wedding

At 4:15 PM CDT the National Storm Prediction Center issued a Tornado Watch until 9:00 PM CDT. The storm line runs from about 50 northeast of Dallas, southwest to Temple, Texas. Temple is south of Waco. In the neighborhood of Crawford. Where Jenna Bush is due to walk down the aisle with her daddy come sunset.

So, at this point in time the Jenna Bush wedding has the potential to have some good weather drama. The local TV stations are likely already in full arm waving Weather Drama Queen Mode. I'm not going to turn on the TV to find out.

Watch the below video to get a real good idea of what we put up with here in constantly stormy Texas.

Jeers to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram

I vaguely recollect a time or two complaining about my little world class town's newspaper of record, that being the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. If I remember right I've made note before of the fact that I am not alone in bashing this deteriorating newspaper.

The complaints directed at this newspaper have grown so widespread and numerous that the newspaper itself seems to be joining in the bashing, in that of late it regularly prints reader's whines.

For example, on Saturdays on the editorial page there is always a section called "Cheers and Jeers." Now, me with my, well, negative nature, only read the "Jeers." The "Cheers" all too often are just dumb.

Like this one--- "Cheers: To Jean Johnson in home fashions and Mary Anderson in appliances at Sears for helping with a recent purchase."

I can't help but wonder if Jean and Mary sent in this "Cheer" to toot their own horn. I also can't help but wonder why the Star-Telegram would print it.

In today's "Cheers and Jeers" there were a large number of Jeers directed at the Star-Telegram, proving yet again I am not alone in my Star-Telegram bashing. What follows are some of the anti Star-Telegram Jeers.

Jeers: To the Star-Telegram for publishing awful photos of the NASCAR drivers in the April 3 Race Week section. They looked like bad driver's license pictures or police mug shots. Jeers to NASCAR if those were the only photos supplied.
--Shaun Eason, Arlington

Jeers: To the Star-Telegram for making no mention of a prominent day in U.S. history in the April 18 paper. The Doolittle Raid of April 18, 1942, was the first time in World War II when we were able to attack Japan on its homeland. Anyone know if any of the 80 crewmen are still alive?
--R.H. Rastall, Granbury

Jeers: To the Star-Telegram write Gaile Robinson for omitting the Amon Carter Museum's masterpieces Bluebonnets in her April 6 story on the Julian Onderdonk exhibition at the Dallas Museum of Art. Why not cheer for the home team?
--Ruth C. Stevenson, Fort Worth

(make note of the above Jeer exhibiting the local's anti-Dallas fixation that I find so bizarre)

Jeers: To the Star-Telegram for being MIA at the races at Texas Motor Speedway, which is in Fort Worth. The other paper (meaning the Dallas paper) was there, but not you. For many years, you gave away newspapers in the campgrounds and in the stands. Great idea for Fort Worth. No longer.
--Steve Unger, Lake Kiowa

Jeers: To the Star-Telegram for selling auto advertisements that have the front end of the cars coming out of the ads into the news columns. I understand the need for ad revenue, but the paper doesn't seem to understand that customers don't want the ads leaping out at them.
--G.K. Worley, Fort Worth

(personal note: I agree, those ads are very annoying and look really cheesy)

Jeers: To the Star-Telegram for the May 2 gardening story that began: "It's time to give your lawn its first haircut of the season." Maybe in Philadelphia, where the story originated. But this is Texas, and I've been mowing my grass for three months. Can't the Star-Telegram find someone from here to write about the yard?
--Mark Watson, Trophy Club

Okay, that's it for Jeering at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram for the day. It's time for breakfast.

Nick Hogan Doesn't Know Best

75% of the hundreds of people who have voted in my latest poll have indicated I should complain more about TV. Why, I do not know. But, I live to oblige.

So, I was eating lunch in front of a TV today and MSNBC was live with a crime sentencing. On the screen I saw that pop culture oddity, the pro-wrestler who calls himself Hulk Hogan. I wondered what crime did he commit? I remember reading that his wife Linda had had her fill of his overbearing ways and had filed for divorce. Had Hulk wrestled with her roughly?

I do remember watching an episode of "Hogan Knows Best," that being the Hogan Family reality show on that repository of BAD TV known as VH1, and the Hulk's wife, Linda had insisted on keeping a constantly pooping, diaper wearing monkey in the house. Much hilarity and mayhem ensued. A highlight being the Hulk having to change a monkey diaper and the monkey rubbing monkey poop on Mr. Hogan. A reality show highpoint.

Anyway, back to today on MSNBC. It was not Hulk Hogan who was heading behind bars. It's the teenage son, 17 year old Nick who is going to do some hard time. Unbeknownst to me (I can not be expected to keep up on everything) Nick was speeding, drunk and had a wreck which left his friend, a US Marine named John Graziano, in a possibly permanent vegetative state of perpetual coma.

I do not know if this will all show up on "Hogan Knows Best." Or if the divorce is part of the show. I do know that "Hogan Knows Best" now has a spin-off called "Brooke Hogan Knows Best." Brooke is the daughter. She's a singer wannabe. She looks older than her years. She seems likable.

I've not watched all that many of the "Hogan Knows Best" shows. I've found the wife, Linda, amusing, the kids tolerable, and Hulk Hogan an overbearing, sorta pseudo macho acting guy with an affected sounding way too deep voice and an odd, likely steroid use enhanced mode of walking, likely due to all that heft.

I happened upon an episode of "Hogan Knows Best" just a day or two ago. Linda and daughter Brooke tricked Hogan, real name, Terry, into going to a spa for all sortsa girly treatments to which he greatly objected. When it came time for him to wash off all the weird goo that had been rubbed all over him, his daughter, Brooke, managed to glance into the shower room and come out screaming, "I saw dad's wienie, I saw dad's wienie!" It being cable, and VH1 I cringed in fear that we, the innocent viewers, were also going to get a peak. We didn't. We did see Terry Hogan in the world's skimpiest bikini though and that is something I wish I'd not seen.

I don't know how Nick Hogan got so out of control. I'm amazed, from what I've seen on the show, that he got away from his dad long enough to get drunk. I remember one episode revolved around the dad's out of control concern that the then 15 year old Nick was being sexually active. Much cringeworthty TV time followed.

From what I've seen of Nick Hogan on "Hogan Knows Best," he is not going to handle very well the inevitable strip search prior to his lockup. I'm sure VH1 will be there to share every detail.