Friday, November 17, 2017

From Tacoma Postcard I Learn David, Theo & Ruby Will Never Come To Fort Worth

Yesterday I found that which you see here in my mailbox.

Several weeks ago David, Theo & Ruby text messaged me saying they'd lost my address, asking me to send it to them again. I did so, figuring David, Theo & Ruby must be wanting to mail me something.

So, starting a few days after that I eagerly opened the mailbox anticipating incoming from my Tacoma nephews and niece.

After weeks of nothing from Tacoma I sort of forgot about it. And then yesterday the postcard you see here arrived. On the postcard a label was stuck informing me there had been some delivery difficulty, the nature of which I was unable to determine.

I was barely back in my abode when David, Theo and Ruby, and their mother, texted me asking "Did our postcard get to you?"

I replied that it had arrived a couple minutes previous. A reply to that told me they'd mailed the postcard weeks ago.

What spooky coincidental timing. Texting asking if I had gotten the postcard minutes after I got the postcard which was weeks late in arriving.


My mailbox is in a location without good lighting. When I got the postcard out of the mailbox I was without my reading glasses, just returning from a long bike ride. When I first read the message on the postcard I mis-read Worden as Worth and thought the kids had written "We want you to come explore Fort Worth with us."

Yikes, I thought, they are in Fort Worth? I thought they were supposed to be in Arizona? But then I checked again, even before better light and reading glasses, to read the message correctly.

I told my sister of my initial confusion to which my sister said,  "I can't see us coming to explore Fort Worth anytime soon. OK. Ever."

And then my reply to that struck me as both amusing and revealing, due to it being how Fort Worth is talked about when talked about to non-Texans. This is what I replied...

"Well, I can almost guarantee the kids would love the Fort Worth Stockyards. But, other than that. Nothing. Well, unless a storm blew in with tornado sirens. They might think that was fun."

Nothing of interest in Fort Worth to three kids from Tacoma other than the Stockyards?

Fort Worth Zoo? Those kids have been to the San Diego Zoo, Woodland Park Zoo, the Tacoma Zoo, Northwest Trek, and others I probably don't know about.

Parks? I'd be embarrassed to take them to a Fort Worth park. What if they needed a restroom? David, Theo & Ruby live a short distance from Point Defiance Park, a huge Tacoma park which could likely contain all Fort Worth's parks. Point Defiance Park has miles of trails through old growth forest, an actual fort in Fort Nisqually, miles of beach with crystal clear water, the Tacoma zoo, and I think, an aquarium and multiple other assets one would not find in a Fort Worth park. Such as modern restrooms in multiple locations.

Swimming pools? Tacoma has multiple public pools in various iterations. One with a giant wave pool, another with a lazy river.

Sundance Square Plaza? Tacoma has two plaza type locations, with water features kids play in, that pretty much dwarf Fort Worth's little plaza, which is sponsored by a Japanese auto maker. The kids have also been to Seattle's Westlake Center, which also dwarfs Fort Worth's little plaza, and also has a water feature. And a monorail. And a vertical mall, and access to a light rail tunnel underground.

Cabela's? The sporting goods store which the Star-Telegram helped propaganda-ize would be the top tourist attraction in Texas. when six months after opening it was not even the only Cabela's in Texas, and now is not even the only Cabela's in the D/FW Metroplex.

David, Theo & Ruby live a short distance from two Cabela's, one a short drive to the south on I-5, the other a short drive to the north on I-5. Both built without trying to con Washingtonians with idiotic nonsense about a sporting goods store being the top tourist attraction in Washington. Both built without being conned into providing incentives such as Fort Worth willingly provided, you know, so as to get that top tourist attraction in Texas.

Okay, maybe get out of Fort Worth and take the kids to Arlington to Six Flags Over Texas. Nope. They've been to Disneyland and Disney California. But, the kid's parental units might like Six Flags, due to the admission fee being a fraction of what it costs to go to Disneyland. Then, again, you get what you pay for.

Well, I guess I could take them to one of Fort Worth's Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats. Such is not available anywhere else in the world. Floating in a muddy river regularly contaminated with too many toxins, like e.coli, while listening to music coming from an imaginary pavilion on an imaginary island. You can't find that type entertainment in Tacoma. Or anywhere in Washington, or probably the entire west coast, including British Columbia....

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