Wednesday In Arizona With Nephews Smoked Turkey Legs & Target Power Walking

That is my nephew, who is known as Tanner CJ, who you are looking at sucking on a bottle of Coke, in the picture, sitting in his mother's backyard, after arriving late, from Spring Training.

Spring Training is a baseball thing that seems to be real important to the locals.

I have had myself another exhausting day in Arizona, with the day mostly ending with Spaghetti and something called deep-fried mozzarella cigars, at my sister's house, in Chandler.

Tanner CJ's brother, Whitey JR, showed up first. I found Whitey JR's description of all the online stuff he does to sell his skateboards and related paraphernalia  to be very interesting.

Whitey JR's brother, Tanner CJ, showed up driving a new white Mercedes. Near as I can tell, having listened to Tanner CJ, at length, he somehow came to be driving the new white Mercedes via his gambling career at various casinos, mostly in Las Vegas, including this past weekend, when a group of his fellow gambling co-horts, from Washington and Arizona, stayed in the Real World suite at The Palms.

I do not know if Tanner CJ saw Adrienne Maloof while he was at The Palms.

My favorite brother-in-law, and I, tried to watch American Idol. But we were mostly thwarted by the heckling of my nephews and my sister and mom and dad's loud talking. It was very frustrating.

Eventually my mom told me it was my bedtime and hence time to drive mom and dad back to their homeport.

Previous to going to my sister's, this evening, we spent most of the morning smoking turkey legs in mom and dad's big smoker. It is not a Texas style BBQ smoker, but it seemed to get the job done.

At some point in time, after our smoked turkey lunch, we took off, with me driving, to fill up the gas tank in preparation for tomorrow's early morning trip to the east, to Globe. Prior to filling the tank we went power walking at Target. This is a very common activity when you live in a retirement village.

I got several odd blog comments tonight. One came from someone called Anonymous who thought I'd called all the people in Fort Worth numbskulls. I most certainly did not do such a thing. There are well over 700,000 residents of Fort Worth. Clearly, they can not all be numbskulls. That's just obvious.

Swimming In Arizona With The Well-Seasoned Sun Lakes Ladies

You may guess, both from me saying I was going to do so, in a previous blogging, and from the evidence in the picture, that this morning I have managed to go swimming and lounging in the semi-HOT Arizona sun.

Even though my mom told me my sister was coming over this afternoon to go swimming with me, I decided to go swimming, anyway, this morning, because my sister is notoriously unreliable about doing what my mom says she is going to do.

It is a short walk from my mom and dad's to the Sun Lakes Clubhouse. Mom said they'd come to the Clubhouse in an hour to pick me up. I said ok.

After I left mom and dad's, about a block later, I was on the phone, and found myself suddenly surprised by mom and dad suddenly appearing in their vehicular transport to take me to the Clubhouse.

I'm fine with walking I said, it's not very far.

My mom indicated I might not be able to find the Clubhouse. But you took me there two days ago and I walked there yesterday, said I.

Well, if you get lost, again, just call, mom told me.

About a minute later I was at the Clubhouse.

When I got to the pool zone I saw there were about a half dozen ladies of well-seasoned vintage performing what seemed to me to be some sort of Esther Williams run amok type routine. I took off my shirt and felt the stony gaze of around 12 well-seasoned eyeballs eyeballing me.

I got in the nearest pool. It was a small one. It did not seem very warm. I thought I had previously felt the water in all the pools to find them of a bathtub type temperature. I found out later this pool is called the Chat Pool and that it is not heated.

I am quite used to an unheated pool and so I stayed in the cold water for quite awhile, then decided to exit and go to the Lap Pool.

The Lap Pool is bigger than my pool in Texas. And deeper. And way warmer. I stayed in the Lap Pool a long time. Eventually I exited and began the laying on the lounge chair part of the pool experience. This is when I snapped the picture above, documenting today's pool time.

In the picture you can see the bobbing heads of the well-seasoned ladies doing their Esther Williams routine.

Even though the desert air was only heated to around 55 degrees, eventually I began to overheat and decided it was time to exit. It was well past the hour mark, with no mom and dad arriving to pick me up.

I was about half way back to mom and dad's when I saw them coming towards me. I went into a hitchhike pose and was able to get a ride.

Now that I have discovered how pleasant it is to go swimming in the Sun Lakes pools I wish I'd gone previously, particularly on those stormy rainy days. I suspect on those days I would not have had to compete for pool space with the well-seasoned ladies doing their Esther Williams routines.

Changing the subject from Esther Williams to something else.

I have now learned that tomorrow we are taking a trip to the East, to Globe and other small former mining towns. Where, at some point in time, we may find Fish Tacos in the desert.

The 3rd Wednesday Of March In Arizona Planning On Going On A Brisk Early Morning Swim

Looking at the outer world, via my primary viewing portal, this 3rd Wednesday of the 3rd month of 2012, it appears that the trend towards getting up later, each morning I am in this distant from my normal time zone, is continuing.

It is only 49 degrees this morning in this former desert that goes by the name Sonora. At my previous location north of being deep in the heart of Texas it is 50 degrees at this point in time.

My previous location, north of being deep in the heart of Texas, is not a desert. Though cactus does grow there. Prickly Pear cactus. But nothing humongous like a Saguaro.

I do not know what my hyper-active parental units have in store for me today, except for later today when we go to my sister's for Spaghetti. My nephews, CJ and Whitey are scheduled to be there. I hope CJ does not arrive with some sort of subpoena to serve on his mother and me.

I think I will go swimming this morning at the Sun Lakes Clubhouse. I will likely be a couple decades younger than the youngest person in the water.

FNJ Perplexes FUD Over Methodist Methods

This morning I got an email from FNJ. FNJ are initials for Favorite Nephew Jason. FNJ is Spencer Jack's dad.  FNJ calls me FUD.

Which is not short for Fuddy Duddy, but is short for Favorite Uncle Durango.

FNJ's email instantly perplexed me, and then super-perplexed me when I clicked on the link in the email...

Have you ever visited this site:  http://durangotexas.blogpsot.com/?  I incorrectly keyed in your blog address this morning.  For a moment I thought that the methods of the methodists had successfully spiritually influenced FUD. Until I realized my error.

Why is FNJ asking me if I've ever visited my own blog, I sat here and wondered.

I then clicked on the link in FNJ's email and went into hyper-perplexed mode.

Eventually I got less perplexed.

But I still don't understand why this particular URL brings up the religious website that it brings up.

After my perplexation slightly mitigated I called my nephew to ask if this was some nefariousness of his design. FNJ assured me he was not capable of this level of nefariousness, as much as he wished he was.

Yet one more mystery in a day full of them.

Another Arizona Day With The Lost Dutchman Visiting Saloons, Bordellos & Tortilla Flat

Lulu's Bordello's Guide To Women Of The 1800s

Today I am exhausted again, by mid-afternoon, due to driving I don't know how many hundreds of miles of scenic wonderland.

The first tourist attraction of the day was something called a 99 Cent Store. I got Foster Grant sunglasses for 99 cents. And my dad got lost.

Eventually my mom and I were able to locate my lost dad.

My dad. A Lost Dutchman. Which became sort of the theme for the day.

The destination today was Tortilla Flat. On the way to Tortilla Flat we stopped at the Goldfield Ghost Town and visited Lulu's Bordello, among other attractions.

Back in its 1890s heyday, Goldfield was the proud home to 3 saloons, a brewery, a school and a general store, in addition to Lulu's Bordello and other enterprises.

Goldmine Ghost Town Warning Sign

I used to know a Madame who called herself Lulu. I am fairly certain the Goldfield Lulu is a different Lulu, but, I have no way of knowing this for certain.

When the nearby goldmines petered out, so did Goldfield, til its revival as a Ghost Town.

You can ride a mine train, go on underground mine tours, buy souvenirs and among many other things, go to the Mammoth Steakhouse & Saloon and have yourself a cooling Sarsaparilla libation, which is what my mom and dad and I did.

Usually mom and dad don't go in saloons and consume adult libations, but today an exception was made, since I was the designated driver.

Goldfield Mammoth Steakhouse & Saloon

Continuing on past Goldfield, in the shadow of the Superstition Mountains, those mountains being the location of the legendary Lost Dutchman Mine, the road to Tortilla Flat was an even better twisting and turning, up and down roller coaster ride than yesterday's drive up and down South Mountain.

Eventually a lake came into view. This lake is the result of the Mormon Flat Dam damming the Salt River, creating Canyon Lake.

Several lakes in this area are the result of damming the Salt River, including the biggest result of the damming, Roosevelt Lake. We did not make it as far as Roosevelt Lake, today, due to the fact that the road to that location is not paved and we are not fans of gravel roads over treacherous terrain.

Outside The Tortilla Flat Restaurant & Saloon
Where A Visiting Texan Has Been Hanged

Near the shores of Canyon Lake is where you find Tortilla Flat. Tortilla Flat is the only remaining stagecoach stop, in existence, along the famed Apache Trail. The road to Tortilla Flat, and beyond, follows the famed Apache Trail.

Drive this difficult road in modern day vehicular comfort and imagine what a ride on the Apache Trail must have been like in a stagecoach.

The Tortilla Flat name allegedly came about when some cowboys were celebrating a successful cattle drive from Globe to Phoenix. The cowboys did a bit too much celebrating, maybe at one of the Goldfield saloons, and forgot to get supplies.

By the time the cowboys made camp, at the flat mesa near present day Tortilla Flat, all they had to cook with was some flour. Some cowboys of Vaquero derivation knew how to make tortillas, and proceeded to do so. And thus, where I had lunch today, became known as Tortilla Flat.

Tortilla Flat Restroom Out Of Order

Tortilla Flat was overrun with visitors today. License plates from all over America. Three times we were behind a car from Washington. One from Alaska. Several from Canada.

You numbskulls, in Fort Worth, reading this, who don't know what a real tourist attraction looks like, well, you see out of state visitors at a real tourist attraction. A tourist attraction is not a sporting goods store with only locals in the parking lot.

Mom and dad and I had ourselves a real fun lunch today at the Superstition Restaurant & Saloon in Tortilla Flat. None of us had tortillas. Although mom did have a Taco Salad Grande that was in a fried tortilla bowl.

I've never spent so much time with my mom and dad, in saloons, as I did today.

The drive back to our homeport, from Tortilla Flat, seemed to go way faster than the drive there. Possibly due to opting to use freeways. We stopped at my sister's, on our way back to Sun Lakes. There we learned that one of my nephew's has leveled egregious accusations of malfeasance at my sister and myself, accusations made without a shred of evidence.

Another fun day in Arizona, so far.

I have no idea what they've got planned to do to me tomorrow, except for Spaghetti at my sister's house with my nephews. Since my youngest nephew is constitutionally unable to consume any food item that is not white or brown I don't know how red tomato sauce is disguised in my sister's Spaghetti. Should be interesting.

The 3rd Tuesday Of March Dawns Clear & Cold In Sun Lakes Arizona

Gazing skyward from my current primary viewing portal on the outer world on this 3rd Tuesday of the 3rd month of 2012 I can see a crescent moon and no clouds.

Now, if only the sun would begin behaving appropriately and heat this currently cold Valley of the Sun to something above 12 degrees above freezing I would appreciate it.

The only cold weather clothes I left Texas with were the long pants I was wearing and a long sleeved shirt.

But, on the bright side, I am not shivering as bad as the last time I was in Tacoma during the frigid summer of 2008.

Throughout the day and night, yesterday, I was getting reports and  photos of the major storm that was striking the Dallas/Fort Worth zone with heavy rain and lightning. Near as I can tell I missed the first strong storm in a long while in my current home zone.

I do not know what is planned for today, except for a Wake. Apparently, when you live in a retirement community attending Wakes is a big part of the social calendar, requiring the production of copious amounts of food.

The sun has now completely arrived to begin it much needed heating duty, yet somehow we have managed to lose a degree.

I do not know if my swimming suit is going to get wet in any of the Sun Lakes pools. It is starting to seem like the only time my swimming suit is going to get wet is when I get in my sister's swimming pool to settle a bet that she tricked me into losing with her wily, casino-honed, gambling ways.

Driving The Phoenix South Mountain Road Looking For Whitey, Taco Bell & More Turkey Legs

The Roller Coaster Road On South Mountain

Well, I have had myself another exhausting multi-mile day in Arizona and I still have hours to go before this day ends.

I am hopeful there will be no more miles to go today.

This morning, a short while after I returned from a jog around Sun Lakes, I was informed I had 10 minutes before we were departing for the South Mountain Park Preserve.

South Mountain Park Preserve covers over 16,000 acres, making it the biggest city park in America. There are 51 miles of primary trails for horse riding, mountain biking and hiking. Plus many more miles of less than primary trails for additional adventurizing.

South Mountain's Dobbins Lookout At 2,330 Elevation

It is sort of not the easiest thing in the world to impress me.

South Mountain Park Preserve impressed me greatly today.

Did I mention there is no admission charge?

Are you listening Fort Worth? Phoenix does not charge an admission fee to the largest city park in America. Unlike Fort Worth's Nature Preserve, which began charging an admission charge a few years ago.

I did the driving today, with my dad being the backseat navigator, until, hours later, when we were back in Chandler, where my mom took over the navigating duties.

In The Dobbins Lookout Looking At Phoenix Far Below

The road up South Mountain is paved and in excellent shape. The road twists and turns, up and downs, making it a very fun roller coaster ride, better than yesterday's roller coaster ride.

The road leads to three different lookouts looking out in three different directions.

At one point, on the way down, a pair of mountain bikers zipped along at high speed, on a treacherous looking trail, above us. The trails are a bit rocky, not slick rock sandstone high traction type trails. I tried to get pictures of the mountain bikers, but that did not work out. Seeing those guys mountain biking made me want to mountain bike.

Scorpion Gulch Is At The Entry To
South Mountain Preserve Park

I'd love to return to South Mountain and spend a day, or two, hiking. I don't think that will happen on this trip.

When we left South Mountain we spent a very short amount of time looking for the Mystery Castle before continuing on to find food.

We were unable to locate any of those cool McDonald's Restaurants we've been finding the past few days and instead found something called Taco Bell where we had something called a Gordito Combo. This came with a bag of Doritos. I think this place may catch on. Those Doritos were delicious.

After leaving Taco Bell I was in the mood for some more Mexican culture, so my dad navigated me to the town of Guadalupe. Apparently most Anglo things are banned in Guadalupe, including the aforementioned McDonald's. I rather liked the small town of Guadalupe. I felt like I'd left Arizona and had crossed the southern border.

Leaving Guadalupe mom mentioned my nephew JR, saying he worked in the area and I should drop in and surprise him. Keep in mind dad was still navigating. Apparently, we were nowhere near where JR worked, when mom suggested we were. Dad then directed me to drive many miles north, past the very cool downtown of Tempe, and then to Cowtown Skateboard where my nephew runs the store's online operations.

You in Fort Worth reading this, Cowtown Skateboard has nothing to do with the Cowtown known as Fort Worth. Years ago when I was told JR got a job at Cowtown Skateboard, I thought this meant he was moving to Fort Worth.

I walked in to JR's store where a guy asked if he could help me. I told him who I needed to see, sounding as ominous as I could. The guy led me to the back of the store, then walked ahead of me and said "Whitey, some law enforcement dude needs to talk to you."

I have no idea why the kid thought I was law enforcement or why my nephew is called Whitey.

When Whitey saw it was me he stood up, gave me a hug and showed me photos of his girl friends. We then walked outside so Whitey could see his grandma and grandpa. Whitey informed us he would be seeing us on Wednesday. My mom, dad and me had not been informed of this, til Whitey told us.

Soon we left Whitey and headed back to Chandler where my mom took over navigating. This led us to the biggest Sprouts Farmers Market I ever been in, where I was able to find yet one more illusive turkey leg.

Then it was back on the road again, til we stopped at a Basha grocery store to hunt for Tillamook Vintage Extra Sharp White Cheese. This cheese had previously proved as illusive as the formerly illusive turkey legs. But my mom has determined that I have some sort of preternatural knack for finding illusive products in grocery stores.

This once again proved true when I located the illusive Tillamook cheese.

After getting the cheese we were on the fast track back to Sun Lakes, but not before passing the multi-billion dollar Intel project, with its world's tallest Japanese cranes. My mom is my info source for the Intel facts.

From Intel on I was able to navigate to my mom and dad's homeport with no additional directional assistance.

I have no idea where I will be driving tomorrow. I suspect turkey leg hunting will happen at some point in the day.

The 3rd Monday Of March Dawns Cold In The Valley Of The Sun

The view from my current primary viewing portal on the outer world is drier than yesterday on this 3rd Monday of the 3rd month of 2012.

It is 46 degrees, right now, a few minutes before the arrival of the sun in the Valley of the Sun, where it was so cold last night I added a blanket.

Meanwhile, somewhere between 900 and a 1000 miles to the east, at my former location that is not in any sort of Valley of the Sun, it is 69 degrees heading to a high today of 80.

The high at my location in Arizona is scheduled to be 59 today. With rain. My former location is also predicted to get rain today. A lot of it. Combined with lightning and thunder.

I have no idea what the locals have in store for me today. I am fairly certain that this morning will not bring a fresh suggestion that we head towards the Grand Canyon.

I also am fairly certain I will not be going swimming today, unless I do so at my sister's, so I can clear an unfortunate bet that I lost.

A Rainy Sunday Drive With My Mom & Dad Looking For Turkey Legs & A Giant Fountain

Mom Navigating Heading North In A Rainstorm

The theme for today in Arizona is rain. A lot of rain. Torrential downpour type rain.

Because of the stormy weather my mom thought it'd be fun to drive north towards the Grand Canyon and go to Jerome and Prescott.

I checked the weather conditions for Jerome and Prescott and found both to be freezing with heavy snow and a Severe Winter Weather Warning.

So, the plan to head towards northern Arizona was altered to going on a hunt for an illusive turkey leg and then to Fountain Hills to see one of the world's tallest fountains.

The Fountain Hill Fountain In Dormant Mode

We were not long on the road when we came to the Wal-Mart Supercenter. We walked in, after a lengthy hunt for a close to the door parking space, to find turkey legs, already cooked, in the deli. I told my mom and dad I'd walk ahead to find the raw turkey legs.

A short time later I was walking back to my mom and dad with an armful of the formerly illusive turkey legs. After determining which of the turkey legs I was holding were the biggest, we purchased them and continued on our way.

After what seemed a short while we were in the desert. Soon we were at Fountain Hills. It was raining hard. We had trouble finding the fountain. Had the fountain been spouting water I suspect we could have found it. At its highest the fountain spouts well over 500 feet.

The Roller Coaster Ride Into A Zion Like Canyon

I tried calling my sister to ask if she knew where the fountain was. She was not answering. So, I went into McDonald's and asked the first person I saw. He pointed me towards the road we had just been on. That road led us to the fountain which was not scheduled to erupt for another 45 minutes.

So, we continued on our way. Further north.

I was totally bum puzzled. It looked to me that we had mountains to our left and to our right. How could going north get us going back south, towards Phoenix?

After awhile my bum puzzlement was alleviated when we came to a road that led us towards Saguaro Lake and behind the mountains, which I had thought, erroneously, were a barrier.

Saguaros Near Saguaro Lake
With A Snowy Mountain Background

This two lane mountain highway was the wildest road ride I have ridden in a long time. Without my mom being able to actively monitor my dad's speed he seems to push right to the edge of the limit. And maybe a bit beyond.

Soon the scenery reminded me very much of Zion National Park. I had not eye witnessed such scenic scenery in a long time, not since the last time I was in Washington.

Not long after leaving the wild scenic wonderland we were back in semi-civilization in the form of Apache Junction. Apache Junction turned into another town and then another and then another and eventually we were back in Chandler and then our home port in Sun Lakes.

When we left Sun Lakes, this morning, the rain was falling hard. When we returned to Sun Lakes, hours later, the rain was falling even harder.

A meatloaf was waiting for us in the oven. Soon a late Sunday lunch was on the table. Along with the meatloaf  we had baked spuds with sour cream, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, green salad, tomatoes, fruit salad and lemon meringue pie. This type diet is how I grew up. Is it any wonder I have an eating disorder?

Texas Provided The Humor Today At Church In Arizona

Sun Lakes United Methodist Church

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

I have now attended church for the first time in this century.

My church attendance, prior to this century, occurred in the last decade of the last century at a Rock 'n Roll Church in Portland, Oregon.

Today's church in Arizona was not a Rock 'n Roll Church.

Instead of Rock 'n Roll it was the Sun Lakes United Methodist Church, which today was under the control of the United Methodist Women.

The sermon was delivered by Nancy Wilsen.

No, not the singer from the Rock 'n Roll duo known as Heart. The Heart singer's last name is spelled "Wilson."

Today's sermon was the first time I recollect actually ever listening to a sermon. Back in the Presbyterian days, of my long ago youth, I did no sermon listening. I just prayed for it to be over.

Today's sermon was quite good. And amusing.

At the start of the sermon Texas was mentioned. Preacher Wilsen asked if there was anyone from Texas in the congregation. There were a couple hands raised. Preacher Wilsen then apologized, in advance, to the Texans, for the joke she was about to tell.

Apparently 3 Texas boys attending Texas A & M met an untimely end. Upon reaching St. Peter's Gate the trio sauntered in without waiting for permission to enter.

St. Peter stopped the boys and asked them where they thought they were going.

To Heaven the boys replied.

You must prove yourselves worthy first, Peter told them, by answering a question.

Can all of us get in if one of us gets the answer right? one of the boys asked.

St. Peter thought about it and decided, considering that they were Texans from Texas A & M, he'd cut them some slack and if one got the question right, they'd all get into Heaven.

What is Easter? asked St. Peter.

The first Texas boy said, "Dang, that's that time when that fat man in a red suit with a beard flies around with reindeer giving away stuff."

Wrong, said Peter.

The next boy said, "That's that day when you give hearts and candy to your girl friend."

Wrong again.

Last chance, the third boy said, "That's when Jesus came out of his tomb."

"You are right," St. Peter said, "off to Heaven you go."

The two boys heaped praise on the boy who got the answer right, to which that boy said, "And I didn't even get to the part where Jesus sees if he casts a shadow, or not, to learn if spring will come early or winter will last another 6 weeks."

In church this Texas joke seemed very amusing. Typing it out, not so much.

There were only two awkward moments in church. One was when anyone who was a newcomer was asked to stand and introduce themselves. Apparently I got a bit long-winded.

The other awkward moment came when everyone was told to greet anyone who was in their vicinity. It seemed to me that mayhem momentarily ensued. My mom apologized, saying she should have warned me about that part.

My favorite part of the sermon came when Preacher Wilsen began to say the Lord's Prayer. God, who in the Methodist Church apparently is a woman, kept interrupting the Preacher. I could not tell how this was being done. I wondered if Preacher Wilsen was a ventriloquist.

Later, at the Post-Church McDonald's, others, who had been in attendance, joined me in wondering how the Voice of God was done, also wondering if Preacher Wilsen was an excellent ventriloquist.

I fear the mystery of God speaking is going to one of those eternal mysteries, the answer to which, may never be known. By me.

My sister and my favorite brother-in-law were supposed to meet us at the Post-Church McDonald's, but they did not show up. We were all quite perplexed by their absence.