President Obama's Wolf T-Shirt

Apparently a black t-shirt, sold on Amazon.com, that has 3 wolves howling at the moon on it, has gone viral, which means a lot of people are ordering this t-shirt, some, I suppose, due to the hype that wearing the t-shirts gives a guy magical women attracting powers.

I assume the photo of President Obama wearing one of the wolf t-shirts is not faked. The photo is on the Amazon page that sells the t-shirts.

Below is an amusing comment from a guy who wore his wolves howling at the moon t-shirt to Wal-Mart with magical results....

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called methh. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women.

Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

The World's Biggest Butt In Trafalgar Square

Well, I think I may have solved the "World's Biggest Butt" mystery. I've mentioned many a time how people come to this blog by Googling various search strings which had me thinking they were looking for the biggest human butt in the world.

But, this morning I learned that the UK is in the midst of campaign to get smokers to dispose of their cigarette butts properly, rather than dropping the butts on the ground.

Apparently a lot of pounds are spent every year picking up cigarette butts dropped all over England.

So, to publicize this anti-butt dropping campaign, the World's Biggest (Cigarette) Butt was constructed on Trafalgar Square in London.

I wondered why so many people, all over the world, thought somehow that there would be photo documentation of the biggest human butt, I mean, how would that info be gleaned? But, looking for a photo of the biggest cigarette butt in the world after you heard mention made of it, I guess that makes sense.

I don't know when the World's Biggest Butt appeared on Trafalgar Square or if it is still there.

Big Butts, Ugly Women & The Hippie Hollow Nude Beach

I've mentioned before how there are strange patterns of search strings that bring people to this blog. The last couple days, once again, it's been a world-wide search for the "Biggest Butt in the World," that people are looking for more than anything else.

From the blog stats I can see that people in Saudi Arabia have a big butt fixation.

This morning I saw three people came to this blog after Googling something like "insomnia caused by ugly fat woman." I thought to myself, why would my blog come up with that search string? So, I typed "insomnia caused by ugly fat woman" into the search window and was appalled to see my blog comes up as #1 when someone searches for "insomnia caused by ugly fat woman."

I'd forgotten I'd blogged on this subject after I had a nightmare of being chased by several scary, ugly, fat women. The scary, ugly, fat woman, who was the source of the nightmare, bears an uncanny resemblance to the guy in the picture.

I'm likely going to have an insomnia episode tonight due to this subject being brought back to the forefront of my consciousness. I hope it doesn't turn into another sleepwalking trauma.

Speaking of traumas, I can see people are looking for info about Hippie Hollow, likely looking for something different to do this Memorial Day. If you've never gone to a nude beach, this might just be the different thing to do that you are looking for. If it weren't such a long drive to Hippie Hollow I might go there on Monday. Nothing I like better than communing with nature.

Which means I think I'll go pedal the mountain bike trail at River Legacy Park today.

Wal-Mart's Institutionalized Thievery Strikes Again

Yes, I realize my one longtime reader is rolling her eyes and thinking he's not going to go on about Wal-Mart sucking again, is he?

Why, yes I am. Earlier this month I blogged several times about how Wal-Mart, system-wide, was charging $2.00 for a gallon of milk, when their shelf price signs had it at $1.98. After the 3rd or 4th time of being overcharged 2 cents, I went to Customer Service, assuming the longstanding practice of totally refunding the price of a mistake was still in play, but instead I just got my 2 cents worth back. And the satisfaction of blogging about it.

I then got a very long comment from some guy who I found out later has a Wal-Mart Sucks Blog. He referred to Wal-Mart's pricing scams, which have become chronic, as Wal-Mart's Instituionalized Thievery.

Yes, I know I said I wasn't going to shop at Wal-Mart anymore, but, other than Sprouts, where am I to go? Sprouts is 12 miles north. I'm not going to go there every time I need something. And today I needed bread. I got only 6 items. Of the items, the bread was the only item I had noticed what the price was.

I usually get Wal-Mart brand whole wheat bread. For a long time, for some reason, Wal-Mart wasn't stocking their Wal-Mart brand whole wheat bread. They substituted locally made Mrs. Baird's whole wheat bread for the same price, that being $1.47. Mrs. Baird's whole wheat bread is usually $1.78.

Today the Wal-Mart brand whole wheat bread had gone missing again. And once again, there was Mrs. Baird's in its place, with $1.47 once more as the price.

But, when I checked out, the bread scanned at $1.78, a 31 cent difference. I know you're thinking if I went to the bother of going to Customer Service to get my 2 cents worth I certainly would do that again to get a whopping 31 cents. Well, you would be wrong. Even though there was no line in Customer Service I wasn't going to waste time to get a measly 31 cents.

I have other ways of making Wal-Mart pay for their Institutionalized Thievery...

Looking for Hogs, Studs & Suds at Lone Star Park in Grand Prairie

I noticed this billboard a couple days ago, driving back from hiking the Tandy Hills. From the quick drive-by glance I could tell it had something to do with Lone Star Park in Grand Prairie. That's a horse race place.

It was the Hogs, Studs, and Suds part that perplexed me. Hogs I figured were motorbikes. Suds I figured was beer. But Studs? The party with me was certain Studs referred to the guys and their Hogs. I suggested that Studs must refer to horses. It being a horserace track, that seemed logical. I was told that not all racehorses are Studs, that some are Fillies.

I don't know farm talk so I had to ask what a Filly was. Maybe the Lone Star Park only races Studs. It being Texas that makes sense. I did not know there were girl race horses. Perhaps I should doubt the rectitude of my source.

I Googled "Hogs Studs Suds Lone Star Park" and still don't know what the "Stud" part of the sign refers to. But I did learn on Memorial Day you can pay $5 to get in the park ($3 kids 4-12, under 3 free). When you are in the park apparently you get to experience "the richest day of Texas Thoroughbred racing on Lone Star Park Million Day."

I don't know if that means there is a million dollar prize, or what. Being at Lone Star Park for Million Day you have a chance to win a Harley-Davidson Motorcycle, hence the Hog part of the sign. You'll also have the opportunity to get quite drunk, sampling more than 100 microbrews at the Studs and Suds Micro-Brew Festival. So now we know why Suds is on the sign.

But why Studs? A band called Professor D will play during the festival at the Courtyard of Champions. Maybe Professor D is the Stud.

Tandy Hills, Wildflowers, Hamburgers & Broccoli

It's 3pm, 84 degrees, windows closed, A/C running. It's Saturday, so I did my usual Saturday thing and went hiking on the Tandy Hills.

I don't know what happened but I lost a couple hours this morning. This had me in the Tandy zone way later than usual. Being later had it also being hotter, as in today I was sweating like a Fat Pig in a sauna.

The first thing I did when I got back here was to jump in the pool. The water was way cooler than the air. Which was a good thing.

The Tandy Hills are being about as green as they are going to get before gradually returning to being brown. Last week's rain seems to have caused a fresh crop of wildflowers to bloom. I thought they'd passed their peak, but today the prairie was being real colorful again.

Big Ed did not like my abridged version of his long-winded Lake Powell fish story that I blogged about this morning and put on my Durango Roadtripping Blog. I thought I improved the story. Well, at least made it so it couldn't be used as a sleep aid.

I'm hungry, I must go eat a hamburger now. With broccoli.

Lake Powell Fish Catching Passive Aggressiveness & Scarborough Faire

In my email inbox this morning I found a long-winded tale, by Big Ed, tall taling about catching a single solitary fish at Utah's Lake Powell during a houseboating trip.

The tale was way too long to use as a blogging, so I re-wrote a much shorter version and put it on my Durango Roadtripping Blog. A blog which is starting to seem way too much like being back in school doing homework. So many facts to check on.

Also in the inbox this morning was something from my Favorite Blogging Co-Conspirator that can only be thought of as being cruel. She knew I was lamenting over wanting to go on a road trip or hike up a real mountain or swim at a saltwater beach, hopefully combining all three. So, what does Miss Sassypants send me? A picture of Fort Walton Beach where she spent several days lounging recently.

If that's not passive-aggressiveness, I don't know what is.

There is no saltwater beach in my future today, but I did go swimming, again, this morning at the crack of dawn. That is a pathetically weak substitute. Maybe I'll go for a long walk on the beach at Lake Grapevine today, which is another pathetic substitute, but at least it's a beach and if it's windy there'll be waves with whitecaps.

This weekend and Memorial Day is your last chance to go to Scarborough Faire Renaissance Festival for the year. I've only been to the Faire once, several years ago, but that day and its aftermath had a lingering effect. It's been awhile since I've gotten a death threat, so that's a good thing.

80 degrees. Time to shut the windows.

Nearly Killed At Village Creek Crime Scene

I had too much to get done this morning. By the time I was able to escape it was past noon. I was going to go to River Legacy Park to ride the mountain bike trail, but that would have taken too long, so I went to my nearest pedaling place, that being Village Creek Natural Historical Area.

When I was at Village Creek a couple days ago I was not pleased to find myself biking over the remains of a window. Likely a break-in theft attempt looking for valuables, which you are warned not to leave in your vehicle because there have been problems previously.

So much so that a pole with security cameras were added some time ago. The sign on the security pole says...

SECURITY NOTICE
PARKING AREA
SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS
MAXIMUM ENFORCEMENT
OF ALL ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES

The first time I saw this it just seemed real silly to me. "Enforcement of all illegal activities?" What does that verbiage even mean? And am I supposed to believe that someone actually monitors these cameras? If so, I've mooned that person a time or two, as I quickly change from biking shorts to non-biking shorts. I guess mooning the security camera must not be an illegal activity requiring maximum enforcement.

As soon as I stepped out of my van I saw there'd been two more windows broken. From the position of the glass I could tell they were side windows on the side not facing the street. Since there is nothing of value in my van, I left the window open today.

I had several "incidents" while biking today. First off groundskeeping crews were all over the place, trucks were driving the trail. They can be hard to get around.

Coming to the first bridge/dam I could see 3 bikers on the other side. I knew that by the time I was on the other side, they'd be coming down the hill fast towards me. I met the first 2 females with no problem, but the male behind them was looking at his odometer and heading straight at me at high speed. I had no room to maneuver out of his way. I hollered, he looked up and swerved, narrowly avoiding a head on collision.

About a mile after nearly being killed in a head-on bike wreck there was a group of 2 moms with 5 little kids. I hollered "coming up on you." The moms got all frantic, yelling at the kids not to move. I slowed way down, then, just as I got right to them, a little boy, who had only been paying attention to a spider, suddenly backed up when the spider moved towards him. I had to slam on the brakes or I would have hit the little guy.

The next weird thing is they'd been mowing the sides of the trail. This leaves some grass residue, which would likely desiccate and blow away within 24 hours. But, rather than let that happen, a person stands on the bed of a pickup, while the driver drives as the bed stander holds a leaf blower and blows some of the grass off the pavement.

I thought, why waste gas doing such a thing? Not to mention the pollution, both noise and air, that those air blowers put out.

So, that was my bike ride today. I almost died and I almost killed a little kid and I was at a crime scene where there is maximum enforcement of all illegal activities. It's been a good day in Texas.

Fort Worth Soldier Zachary Boyd Battles Taliban In Pink Boxers

I am sure the Fort Worth Star-Telegram covered this story, since it involved a Fort Worth soldier. I no longer get the Star-Telegram so I no longer get to marvel at that paper's odd need to mention the Fort Worth connection, no matter how tenuous, to a celebrity or person in the news. You could be married to someone who once lived in Fort Worth and that would be enough of a connection for the Star-Telegram to need to mention it.

Long ago I webpaged some examples of that paper's goofiness, including funny uses of their patented "Green With Envy" verbiage. As in towns far and wide are green with envy because a soldier from Fort Worth battled the Taliban in Afghanistan out of uniform, clad in pink I Love NY boxer shorts and flip-flops.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates (if I were like the Star-Telegram I would somehow insert that Gates was a neighbor of mine when I lived in Washington) heaped praise on a Fort Worth soldier on Thursday. Earlier this month a picture was snapped of the soldier hurrying to defend his post, wearing pink boxers and flip-flops.

Secretary Gates yesterday said he wants to meet the soldier and shake his hand the next time he visits Afghanistan. Gates said, "Any solider who goes into battle against the Taliban in pink boxers and flip-flops has a special kind of courage. I can only wonder about the impact on the Taliban. Just imagine seeing that a guy in pink boxers and flip-flops has you in his cross-hairs. What an incredible innovation in psychological warfare."

Army Specialist Zachary Boyd, 19, ran out of his sleeping quarters May 11 to help his other platoon members who were under fire from Taliban positions shooting at their base in Kunar Province in eastern Afghanistan. A photographer was on the scene. When the picture showed up on the front page of the New York Times, Zachary told his mom and dad, here in Fort Worth, that he might lose his job if President Obama saw that he was out of uniform.

To which Secretary Gates said, "I can assure you that Specialist Boyd's job is very safe indeed."

Memorial Day Weekend at Fossil Rim Wildlife Center

I've said it before, I'll say it again, during my now decade long exile in Texas the funnest thing I've done, where I laughed more than anything else I've laughed at in Texas, was my drive through Fossil Rim Wildlife Center.

If you're in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex zone and you've not been to Fossil Rim Wildlife Center and you're looking for something in the area to do to kick off the start of the summer season, you can not go wrong with Fossil Rim. Especially if you have kids.

Fossil Rim is down by Glen Rose, near Dinosaur Valley State Park, which is also a good getaway if you've never seen the dinosaur tracks in the Paluxy River bed. The hiking and biking in Dinosaur Valley may be the best I've experienced in Texas.

At Fossil Rim you go into the Visitors Center to buy your tickets and feed, if you want to feed the animals. On weekend and holidays the entry fee is at its highest. It may sound a tad expensive in these troubled times, with adults 12 - 21 $22.95, kids 3 -11 $16.95 and seniors $19.95.

I do not know, what with Fossil Rim qualifying 12 year olds as adults, if the 12 year olds are allowed to buy adult beverages at Fossil Rim.

The entry fee may seem steep, you will only think that before you see what you get for your money. After that it will seem like a bargain and the money will seem well spent.

After I webpaged my visit to Fossil Rim I was sent an annual pass good for one year and two guest passes. I did not get around to using the pass. I had good intentions. I wanted to go back and take video. But, I've not been back.

For more pictures, including more zebra pictures, go to my Eyes on Texas website to see why Fossil Rim Wildlife Center is the funnest thing I've done in Texas.

Have yourself a good, happy Memorial Day Weekend.