Saturday, July 18, 2015
One Score And Two Years Ago Is No Way To Start A Wedding Speech
Today I decided to take my handlebars on a roll around the neighborhood to get me some endorphins and do some pondering on various ponderments.
Apparently "ponderments" is not a word. It has been red flagged. Maybe pondermentable is a word.
Also red flagged. Well, both should be words.
Among the things I pondered whilst rolling today was a task I was assigned last night. I was asked to use my highly evolved poetic literary skills to compose a wedding speech, well, actually, wedding reception speech. I got that clarification this morning after opining that I'd never witnessed anyone giving a speech at a wedding, other than the wedding officiator and the pair getting hitched.
As I rolled along I started composing the wedding speech, "One Score and Two Years Ago there Arrived on this Planet...."
And then I realized I was channeling Abraham Lincoln, with the further realization that parodying the Gettysburg Address as a wedding speech, what with that speech dedicating a memorial to thousands of fallen soldiers, would probably be in really bad taste at a wedding celebration type event.
Eventually I gave up on the composing a wedding speech thing and moved on to some other pondering, with equally unsatisfactory results.
I probably should resign from this wedding speech task. What do I know about wedding speeches? Very little. I have attended few weddings. And every one of them has ended in divorce, if I remember right, and I likely do....