Saturday, June 27, 2015

An Alligator Is Rockin' The River At Fort Worth's Imaginary Island Pavilion

This morning Elsie Hotpepper in her ongoing campaign to convince me to cease with participating in America's Biggest Boondoggle's Rockin' the River Happy Hour Inner Tube Floats in the polluted Trinity River emailed me a link to a NBCDFW news story titled Alligator Spotted Near Downtown Fort Worth.

The spot where the alligator was spotted is the same spot where The Boondoggle's Rockin' the River takes place.

I have long wondered how long  it was going to be til something unwanted floated into the location where the River Rockin' takes place. Something like a water moccasin or a herd of snapping turtles or a big garfish or an alligator.

In addition to the information about the alligator what I also got out of this story was a feeling of how bizarre it is that the local idiocracy has gone along with The Boondoggle's Panther Island Pavilion nomenclature, what with the fact of the matter being there is no island or pavilion.

The talking heads used the Panther Island Pavilion misnomer and it was printed on the screen showing a flooded Trinity River lapping up against the stage which I think is what The Boondoggle is pretending is a pavilion.

In this location there is also a pretend beach with transplanted sand, likely in need of being re-transplanted when the river recedes.

Also included in this story was alligator information from the spokesman for the Tarrant Regional Water District.

The TRWD spokesman is Matt Oliver, hired after an extensive search for a qualified experienced spokesman discovered that the son of the TRWD's manager, Jim Oliver, was best suited to adhere to the TRWD's policy of employing corrupt nepotism whenever possible.

Anyway, wildlife expert, Matt Oliver, informs us that there is nothing to fear from an alligator enjoying Rockin' the River near the imaginary island and pavilion. That alligators are just like turtles, what with being shy and minding their business unless intruded upon by hundreds of foolish people floating in inner tubes.

I think I will likely stay out of the Trinity River for awhile....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just like a turtle eh?