Sunday, September 11, 2011

My Heartfelt Apology To Washington's Carlotta Camano For My Misuse Of Duck Tape

A few months ago Carlotta Camano, up in Washington, mentioned to me that she had used "Duck Tape" to fix something.

I then, in a rare moment of acting like a know-it-all, informed Carlotta that the correct term was "Duct Tape."

Carlotta thanked me for correcting her alleged egregious error.

Well, imagine my horror, this morning, when I was in Wal-Mart, needing, among other things, to acquire what I thought was "Duct Tape", to find that Carlotta Camano was using the correct terminology, when I saw nothing but "Duck Tape" on the shelf.

I have emailed Carlotta Camano what I hope she accepts as a heartfelt apology for my bad manners and misinformation, telling Carlotta....

I was mortified today to realize I had ignorantly and pedantically erroneously schooled you for using a wrong word. Some time ago you said you used "Duck Tape" to fix something. I then overbearingly and condescendingly informed you that I lived in the state with the highest consumption of that tape, which is used in all sortsa ways, everything from car repairs, to clothing malfunction repairs, to emergency birth control, to temporary dentistry, to stopping gunshot bleeding.

So, today I needed some of that tape. Not for emergency birth control, but for a more elevated use.  Imagine my shock when I found the tape section in Wal-Mart to see that this particular product is called "Duck Tape."


I hope you can find it in your extremely forgiving heart to forgive me for being such a Duck Tape buffoon.

I truly am mortified. This type thing must be the type thing that Gar the Texas Pedantic Know-It-All, But-Often-Wrong Nerd goes through every day.

It is humiliating.

No comments:

Post a Comment