Friday, September 2, 2011

Feeling Guilty About Possibly Causing Gar The Texas Nerd Avoidable Misery

I was reading Gar the Nerd's latest Readerless Rambling about his many wives, which caused me to ponder how some little thing can lead to unanticipated results.

Before I get to unanticipated results I must ask how can Gar the Nerd's Ramblings be Readerless if I read them? That's at least one person reading, which renders the Ramblings not Readerless.

Done with the digressing.

So, a decade ago, give or take a year or two, when I first met Gar the Nerd, in person, he still went by the nickname Gar the Texan. Gar the Texan was the first person I'd ever met, in person, who had one of those infamous mullet hair-dos that went out of style sometime in the 1980s.

In the Pacific Northwest a Gar-like mullet was/is called a Pocatello-Doo. I assume because the population of Pocatello, Idaho had/has an unseemly number of mulletheads.

I don't quite remember how I brought the subject up, but I somehow verbalized my opinion to Gar the Texan regarding his embarrassing mullethead.

Soon after that Gar the Texan got a haircut more suited for the current century.

Soon after that Gar the Texan got a raise and a promotion and started being sent to Europe over and over again.

Eventually Gar the Texan met his most recent foreign wife. Now ex-wife. A German who I assume must have been extremely desperate for a Green Card.

At one point in time Gar the Texan told me he owed me big time for convincing him to lose the embarrassing mop. His boss had told him he would not have been sent overseas if he still looked like a clueless hick. His now ex-wife told Gar the Texan she would not have spoken to him if he still had the mullet.

So, that is what got me pondering. Like I said, at one point in time Gar the Texan told me he owed me big time for wising him up about his locks. Had I not done so his now ex-wife would never have talked to him, let alone marry him. Thus saving Gar the Texan from a lot of aggravation.

I guess losing the mullet did result in a lot of trips to Europe for Gar the Texan, which, I guess, is a good thing. Had his boss felt brave enough to send Gar the Texan to Europe whilst looking like a clueless hick, maybe Gar the Texan might have met a German girl who liked mulletheads, with that girl being his latest foreign wife, with that marriage working out and Gar the Texan living happily ever after with the final wife of his life.

So, now I'm feeling a bit guilty that I may have ruined Gar the Texan's life by convincing him to lose the mullet.

I sort of feel bad about this.

7 comments:

  1. Gar the Texan's "mullet" in that picture is nowhere close to the egregious mullets I remember. Nor does he look like a clueless hick to me. I liked boys with hair. I might have hit that. I am not German.

    You're lucky that Gar the Texan still likes Durango the Opinionated.

    In my opinionated opinion.

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  2. CatsPaw, in Durango World Gar's long hair is a mullet. Do not try and mix reality in to Durango World, it just causes confusion. As for Gar the Mullethead not looking like a clueless hick, well, he photographs much better than the 3-D real life version.

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  3. D'go I am honored that you feel guilty on my behalf. Your ability to see fictional mullets is truly incredible.

    I'm also finding myself strangely attracted to the verbiage of the one with the CatsPaw moniker.

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  4. Sorry for all the damage I did, Garbo. Maybe you could grow the mullet back. CatsPaw clearly indicated she might "hit that" when you're in mullet boy mode.

    CatsPaw actually would be a good match for you. She is a dainty little thing, who you'd be way taller than, unlike that German girl who towered over you.

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  5. I have a thing for dainty slutty redheads. It's my latest passion.

    I don't know if CatsPaw is slutty or a redhead. I'm not sure that 1 out of 3 is good enough.

    I'm a little concerned that CatsPaw thinks "Gar still likes Durango".

    It indicates a propensity towards possibly erroneous assumptions.

    Lately I've considered going chrome dome mode to follow in the footsteps of my mentor, Durango the Purveyor of the Obvious.

    I've got a picture of my attempt somewhere.

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  6. Garbo, CatsPaw is not slutty or a redhead, so I'm thinking she ain't gonna work out as your latest passion.

    I have no idea why CatsPaw thinks Gar still likes Durango. It seems fairly obvious to me that we can not stand each other.

    And what is this obvious stuff you think I am purveying?

    You need to hire a new writer cuz your material is starting to get older than you are.

    Chrome dome? Does this mean you're gonna let your hair return to its natural color?

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  7. Oh, look at you silly boys doin' the testosterone tango. You can't stand each other. Ummhmm. Got it.

    Dainty little thing? Bless yer black heart, Durango. At least I appreciate that you didn't say "CatsPaw strong like ox" or something. My bottled redhead days are over and sluttified behavior cuts into my naptime and charity work - like delivering toilet paper around town.

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