Ted Kennedy Has a Stroke.

No joke, he's had a stroke. Earlier in the week it made me feel like Rip Van Winkle to read that James Garner was 80 and that he had a stroke. And now to read that Teddy Kennedy is 76 and that this morning he was rushed from the Kennedy's Hyannisport Compound to Massaschussets General Hospital in Boston.

It seems like we've gone awhile without a sad thing happening to the Kennedy's. We are coming up on the June 6 anniversary of Bobby Kennedy's assassination in 1968.

Teddy has had some health issues. He has a slight weight problem. Last October he was operated on to remove a blockage in a neck artery. He has been on high blood pressure and cholesterol meds. Teddy has had a bad back ever since a plane crash in 1964, compounded by an accident that required a lot of alleged swimming and diving that is known as The Chappaquiddick Incident. After driving off a bridge into the Atlantic Ocean, Kennedy testified to diving 7 or 8 times in attempts to rescue his passenger, Mary Jo Kopechne. When he decided it was fruitless Kennedy swam to shore, exhausted, with an aching back.

I hope both Teddy and James Garner have full recoveries.

Month of May Memorial Day Texas Festivals

Today I'm going on my first BBQ Picnic of the year. We are in the sweet spot temperature wise here in Texas right now. Not too HOT, not too cold. Perfect picnic weather.

Texans aren't quite the outdoorsy sorts I was used to up in Washington. Parks and picnic tables are empty much of the year. Likely weather related. But come Memorial Day it seems pretty much every Texan is outside at a picnic table. A few years ago, on Memorial Day, I looked for a picnic table in 6 different parks before I finally found one.

So, start hunting early on Memorial Day if you want to be sure to have a picnic table with something to burn wood in.

One of the many things Texas does really well is the small town Texas Festival, Fair and Parade. I've been to parades in Fort Worth, Arlington, Granbury and Ennis. All good. I really like Granbury's festivals and parades. I've been to General Granbury's Birthday and Granbury's 4th of July. In Texas they somehow are able to get high school kids to participate, everyone from cheerleaders to the marching band to the football team. The Arlington 4th of July Parade had at least 4 high school's marching bands. Impressive.

The Ennis National Polka Festival is another good one. The parade is very amusing. My chief researcher sent me info about some of the upcoming Texas events, including the Ennis Polka Festival, with all the details you could possibly need. I'll copy that below.

May 23-25, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Ennis: 42nd Annual National Polka Festival. National Polka Festival celebrates Ennis' Czech heritage with 13 live polka bands, Polkfest 5K run, Czech food, horseshoe tournament, king and queen dance, arts, crafts, special country concert and more. Time: Fri. 7-11pm, Sat 10am-12:30am, Sun. 11am-11pm. Cost: Free for downtown activities; $7-11 per day for admission to dance halls. Location: Downtown Ennis and at KC Hall, Sokol Hall, and KJT Hall in Ennis. Region: Texas Prairies and Lakes. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 972-878-4748 or visit http://www.visitennis.org/; http://www.nationalpolkafestival.com/. Held annually, Memorial Day Weekend.

May 23-24, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Fredericksburg: Crawfish Festival. Join us for great Cajun food, music and fun. Mouth-watering crawfish plates, red potatoes, corn, Jambalaya & fried fish plates. Kids area, shopping area. Time: Friday 6pm-12 midnight, Saturday 11am-12 midnight. Cost: $6 Adults, $1 for kids 12/Under. Two-day passes $10. Location: Marktplatz, 100 block, West Main Street. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 1-866-TEX-FEST (839-3378) or visit http://www.tex-fest.com/. Held annually, Memorial Day Weekend.

May 23-25, 2008 - EXHIBIT - Kerrville: 5th Annual TX Masters of Fine Art & Craft Invitational Exhibition. A high-quality exhibition of 20 of the finest professional artists and craftspeople from all over Texas. Reception May 24 from 2-4pm. Time: Fri. 12-8pm.; Sat. 10am-8pm.; Sun. 10am-6pm. Cost: no admission charge. Location: Y.O. Resort Hotel, 2033 Sidney Baker, Kerrville. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call (214) 328-6382 or visit http://www.texasmasters.com/.

May 23-25, 2008 - SPORTING EVENT - Bandera: Cowboy Capital Rodeo Association Pro Rodeo. Performances Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings, at Mansfield Park, Bandera, Texas. Cost: yes. Location: Mansfield Park. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 830-796-7207 or visit http://www.banderarodeo.com/. Held annually, end of May.

May 23-25, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Llano: 3rd Annual "Texas Proud" Festival. Gunfighters, varmints, chuckwagons, trail bosses, John Wayne and more turn Llano into a Texas Living History happening. Time: All day. Cost: none. Location: Main Street. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 325-247-5354 or visit http://www.llanochamber.org/. Held annually, 3rd weekend in May.

May 23-26, 2008 - FESTIVAL - Bandera: The Best In Texas Festival And Chili Cook Off. An annual festival celebrating all the things that make Texas great. Fun for the whole family including Great Texas Music, Arts, Crafts, Cook Offs, Carnival Rides, Food and Libations. Each day includes performances by several of the best bands Texas has to offer on two stages. Time: Friday Times Vary Daily. Cost: One day tickets - $30 for any 1 day. Location: Bandera Downs 2303 State Hwy 16, Bandera, TX. 78003. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: under 50,000. For more information, call 972-690-6099 or visit http://www.bestintexasfest.com/. Held Annually, Memorial Day Weekend.

May 23-26, 2008 - FAIR - Kerrville: The Official Texas State Arts & Crafts Fair. A four-day fair full of arts, crafts, live music, food and fun for the whole family. Ceramics, pottery, glass, wood, jewelry, metalwork, photography and more from Craftsmen around TX. Time: Fri 4-8pm.; Sat/Sun 10am-6pm.; Mon. 10am-4pm. Cost: see web site. Location: River Star Arts & Event Park, 4000 Riverside Dr., Kerrville. Region: Texas Hill Country. Average attendance: 50,000-200,000. For more information, call (830) 896-5711 or visit http://www.tacef.org/. Annual event held over Memorial Day weekend.

Bubbly Lulu's Bubble Bracelets

One of my very best non-Texas friends used to be Lulu.

I may have mentioned Lulu before. Lulu's Headquarters is up in Tacoma.

I'll be seeing Lulu in a couple months when I arrive to perform an important duty. And see my mom and dad whom I've not seen in over 2 years.

Lulu is well known in the Northwest as an Arts and Craftster and as a Flea Market Diva.

Lulu is currently getting ready for a big show, something called the Farm Chicks, in Spokane.

Lulu has a new hit item made with these things she calls Bubble Charms. Most of Lulu's stuff I don't quite get. But I think these Bubble things look cool.

Lulu keeps getting hit with fresh orders for Bubble Necklaces and Bubble Bracelets. A couple days ago she was moaning about a new huge order from a gallery in Seattle.

UPDATE: After my disastrous visit to Tacoma in July and August I had no choice but to terminate my business and personal relationship with Lulu. I wish her well in the rest of her life. But it will be without me in it.

Plano Texas Prestonwood Baptist Church Minister Sex Scandal

Can we not go a week here in Texas without a church scandal? There is just way too much of it. I know part of the reason it seems like a non-stop series of scandals is you have about 6 million people living in this relatively small area. As in there are more people living in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex than the entire state of Washington.

So, you read about any crime thing that happens in a 50 mile radius. In Washington I could be oblivious about something happening in Spokane. I never knew about the Spokane Serial Killer til I read a book about it a couple months ago. My side of the mountains focused on the Green River Killer while the Spokane Killer was not on the radar. In all the years I've been in the D/FW zone I don't recollect a single serial killer.

But, there have been plenty of ministers doing dirty deeds. The latest one is Prestonwood Baptist Minister, Joe David Barron, 52. He drove 3 hours from Plano to Bryan, Texas, armed with condoms, to have sex with a 13 year old girl. Plano is a suburb north of Dallas near where J.R. Ewing pretended to live at Southfork. Police searched Joe David's car and found the condoms. And some religious CDs.

Do none of these perps ever watch To Catch a Predator on TV?

In Texas they have these gigantic churches called megachurches. That is the interior of Prestonwood Baptist on the right. The megachurches are sort of shocking the first time you see them. There is one church compound on Lake Eaglemountain that has its own airstrip and fleet of planes. It's been the source of many a scandal. But no sex scandals that I can recall.

The Prestonwood Baptist Megachurch has over 26,000 members, with 40 ministers. One less now. I hope.

Ellen and Portia Getting Married in California

I mentioned yesterday that California had joined Texas in allowing same sex marriages. The Texas method is very informal. But in California you can now do the whole Big Wedding thing with a license and all the trimmings.

So, rumor has it that longtime Funny Girl Ellen DeGeneres and longtime Pretty Girl Portia de Rossi apparently became engaged during the Friday taping of The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

As some of you know, I spent some time as a lesbian back in 2000. It was a happy time. During my time as a woman I never met anyone I wanted to get married to though, certainly no one as cute as Ellen and Portia, Portia especially. I remember when she showed up as the HOT new girl on Ally McBeal.

I wonder if these new type celebrity marriages are going to be fodder for some new reality shows? I imagine VH1 is exploring the possibilities even as I type. MTV already had a Bachelor type lesbian find a mate show called A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. Now, a fresh Shot at Love could end in marriage. On the Tila Tequila show it could end in a conventional wedding because Tila swung 2 ways. Half her possible mates were guys, half were girls.

It was a very tasteful show. Tila's been in Penthouse and hosted a show called Pants-Off Dance-Off. I did not see that one. Nor do I think I care to.

Tila Tequila was raised in Houston. That's in Texas. I don't recollect the Fort Worth Star-Telegram pointing that out over and over again. They must have been ashamed by that particular local connection.

Chamberlain, Hitler, Appeasement and an Idiot Named Kevin James

Pet Peeve. Loudmouth know-it-alls who spout clueless nonsense. King George yesterday in Israel made reference to the appeasement of Hitler in 1938. Bush was a tad non-specific on the details, but it sounded like it was a dig at Obama.

Last night on Hardball on MSNBC Chris Matthews had 2 guests, one of whom was a conservative radio yammerer named Kevin James.

Kevin James was really loud with a real loudmouth affect, like he thought the louder he shouted the more his nonsense made sense. He was way too animated which made him seem even stupider.

After a couple minutes of it Chris Matthews had had enough and in one of the more amusing things I've seen of late he asked this Kevin James moron what Neville Chamberlain did in 1938.

It was so obvious this James guy had absolutely no clue as to why the word appeasement and Neville Chamberlain are tied together. He also did not understand that Obama's "talk to our enemies" idea is not what appeasement is.

In other words, Kevin James seems to be yet one more sad example of our need to improve our education system.

How can a grown American not know the history of WWII?

Sadly, I know many, many, many, way too many, don't have a clue about our nation's history. That's how a fear-mongering president can blow way out of proportion a bad problem, that being barbaric, backward terrorists, and cause people to think we are facing the worst enemy we've ever faced.

Today is the best of times compared to the hell that was World War II. There are no Hitlers in today's world who feel they can invade other countries without getting in trouble for it.

The only country that today comes close to Hitlerian Blitzkrieging is the world's sole Hyperpower. There is currently no other nation on earth that would dare launch an invasion and takeover of another country due to the fear that that country might have some dangerous weapons.

So, Obama wants to talk to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is not asking to have a section of Afghanistan returned to Iran. Or a piece of Iraq. If he were, and if Neville Obama were to meet with Ahmadinejad several times, discussing the Iranians demands for more land, and if Neville Obama were to give in to the Iranians demands and agree that the Iranian army could occupy the disputed territories, that would be appeasement.

Barack Obama has not said or done anything remotely reflective of appeasement. The United States has a long history of talking to and negotiating with our enemies. We were talking to the Japanese even as bombs began to fall on Pearl Harbor.

A couple weeks ago I finished the longest book I've ever read. John Tolan's biography of Adolf Hiter. It is considered the definitive Hitler biography. I know more now about Hitler than I ever cared to know. I was somehow going to mix into this appeasement missive how America's conquering of the Indians was one of Hitler's inspirations.

I'll save that for another day. In the meantime watch this YouTube video of yesterday's Chris Matthews Smackdown of a foolish tool.

Sonny Graham's Suicidal Heart

On April 1, 2008, 69 year old Sonny Graham of Vidalia, Georgia was found dead in a building in his backyard. Killed by a self-inflicted gun shot wound.

Okay, that's not all that unusual.

The fact that Sonny Graham has lived for 12 years with a heart transplant and yet decided to kill himself makes it a bit more unusual.

It is who Sonny Graham's widow is that makes this a truly bizarre story.

Sonny Graham's transplanted heart came from a man, Terry Cottle, 33, who also committed suicide with a gun.

After Sonny Graham had Terry Cottle's heart ticking in his chest he began writing letters to Cottle's family, including Cottle's widow, Cheryl, age 28.

In 2001 Sonny Graham bought a house for the Widow Cottle and her 4 kids.

In 2004 Sonny Graham retired. And then married Cheryl Cottle.

Four years later Sonny Graham became Cheryl Cottle Graham's second husband to commit suicide with a gun.

Sonny Graham left 6 kids and 6 grandkids behind. Friends and family are stunned that Sonny Graham would kill himself. Sonny Graham was known as a kind, easy going, helpful, good neighbor type of man.

I don't know if the suicidal heart has been transplanted again.

California and Texas Legalize Gay Marriage

California's top court has ruled as unconstitutional the state law banning same-sex marriages.

Why do people get so worked up over this ridiculous issue?

Personally I think the institution of marriage is borderline barbaric and pretty much uncivilized. I see little good coming from the marriages I've seen. And a lot of divorces and unhappy kids. Except for my mom and dad, they are the exception with a perfect marriage and perfect kids.

When I first moved to Texas I was told by Texans that in Texas the way the common law wife thing worked was if you went grocery shopping together, if you got mail delivered at the same location, if you slept under the same roof and if you both liked BBQ then in the Eyes of Texas you are married.

This was problematic for me in my first abode in Texas because there were 2 males and one female living under the same roof, sometimes shopping for groceries together, getting mail in the same mailbox. And we all liked BBQ. When I realized that in the Eyes of Texas I was living in a polygamous situation I quickly moved out.

It was only later I found out the real rules of common-law marriage in Texas. First off, they don't call it common-law. It's called an "informal marriage." According to Texas Code 2,401 an informal marriage can be established either by declaration via registering at the county courthouse, with no ceremony, or by showing evidence of an agreement to be married, and that you are cohabiting in Texas and that you've represented yourself as married to others.

I don't quite get what this declaration at the county courthouse rule is. You stand in front of the courthouse and shout that you're married? I guess that makes sense.

So, though I'm not a lawyer, it would seem to me that Texas has already legalized gay marriage, making Texas yet again at the forefront of social change in America. Despite its unfair reputation for being a repressive, religious state, Texas is extremely progressive and leads the nation in some areas, like letting anyone legally present themselves as married.

Now that I have a clearer understanding of how one can accidentally find oneself married in Texas I must be careful to not go grocery shopping with a certain marriage minded Puerto Rican sort who likes BBQ.

Downtown Fort Worth Video

I just came across this and had to share. I don't think the guy's who made this video intended it to be amusing, but I found it so. It also made me think I need to visit downtown Fort Worth with my video camera. But not today.

Corruption in Fort Worth, Texas?

You non-Texans, I'm going to be writing about Fort Worth here. So, you might want to look away if you don't want to be freshly appalled at how different things are here than how your city and state operates.

Fort Worth started as a Fort. That is sort of obvious. What isn't so obvious is that Fort Worth is run by what amounts to being a Ruling Junta, with little accountability to the good citizens of Fort Worth.

A few years ago it was discovered that natural gas, in shale form, known as the Barnett Shale, was underneath much of north Texas, including Fort Worth. Prior to the drilling beginning, Fort Worth's Ruling Junta installed an oilman named Mike Moncrief as Mayor of Fort Worth. That is Mike Moncrief behind bars in the photo.

Mike Moncrief is a millionaire. He has holdings in all the drilling companies that have been and continue knocking holes in the ground all over Fort Worth.

Last year Mayor Mike Moncrief made an estimated $633,000.00 from his various oil and gas deals.

Now, in pretty much any jurisdiction in the rest of America a mayor would recuse himself from having a say in any public policy matter that affected his holdings. In the rest of the nation this is what is known as a conflict of interest.

In Fort Worth it is known as the status quo.

In a bizarre case of one of the foxes saying the hen house is safe, Fort Worth's Ruling Junta's mouthpiece, that being City Attorney David Yett, said Moncrief's gas and oils deals are not a conflict of interest because no single one of his deals amounts to more than 10% of Moncrief's total income.

Huh?

Moncrief's wife also benefits from all the gas drilling by owning her own stock in one of the drilling companies called XTO.

Fort Worth's Ruling Junta continues to approve of new drilling operations, one of the latest being Chesapeake Energy will be drilling under the heart of downtown Fort Worth thanks to the Bass Family selling them the drilling rights to the parking lots known as Sundance Square.

I don't know what the Mayor of Fort Worth's cut will work out to be for the Sundance Square wells.

And on a totally different, yet related subject. Did you know that these gas wells sometimes blow up? Watch this video of a well explosion 30 miles west of my abode. I saw the smoke plume from this one.