Having Myself An Email Deletion Party In Texas

I've had me a day. Due to the balmy temperatures going in the pool this morning did not cause a near cardiac arrest. Hiking the Tandy Hills was great.

About 3, or so, Bob the Cockroach Man showed up for a regular inspection. My Cockroach Collection is way smaller than when the invasion was in full George Bush mode. Today a gel was stuck in key locations, I suppose to snag the few remaining stragglers.

After Bob the Cockroach Man left I replied to an email, answering a question that had me looking through old emails. There were maybe 100 or so from this particular person. Let's call her The Unstoppable Woman.

I was looking for a password for The Unstoppable Woman so I could change her DNS settings so her website would be moved to my new host.

I've used the computer I'm on right now since 2004. I've rarely deleted an incoming email. Or a sent email. I always tell myself I should go through the email and delete most of it, but then decide it would be an odious time consuming task. That and what's the harm of having thousands of emails? With attachments?

So, I started in on deleting The Unstoppable Woman's email, hoping to find the one that had the password I needed. And then I kept on going.

All was going fine til I got to the Alma email. Alma is my favorite songbird singing on the Texas Gulf Coast. Alma sends a lot of big attachments, videos, pictures. I selected a lot of the Alma email to be deleted, hit the delete button. And waited. It took over a half hour to delete that batch of Alma email.

After that I seemed to have lost control of Outlook Express and my computer.

So, I re-started. After the re-start I continued with the deletion fest. Only at a more gingerly pace. I got Alma all cleaned up. Then I ran in to Tootsie Tonasket. There were over 4000 emails from Tootsie Tonasket since 2004. Tootsie sends few attachments, so the Tootsie deletion went quickly.

After that it was fairly smooth sailing. An hour or so later I had the Inbox cleaned up. And then I realized the Sent Items had a lot of emails in it. But those are ones I send, few attachments, not nearly as many emails as the Inbox. So, that went fast.

Outlook Express is seeming happier. But I'm sure by tomorrow I'm going to be wanting to find an email that I've now deleted. That's usually how things seem to go.

Size Matters Not

I am currently being vexed by about 300 email spams a day. The trend seems to be more and more of it. I’m vexed because it is annoying, I’m vexed because it takes time to deal with it, I’m vexed because it has caused me to miss email I wanted to see, I’m vexed because I don’t understand the underlying economics of the spam and I’m vexed at what most of the spam is selling. I mean, what is the motive? Who is sending this stuff? And why? Do some fools actually click on the spam links and actually buy stuff?

About 10% of the spam deals with trying to repair my bad credit, trying to get me a new mortgage, trying to end my chronic obesity, trying to get me to update a bank record at a bank at which I have no account, or fix my Ebay or PayPal accounts.

The other 90% of the spam deals with (I insert a warning here, the following may not be suitable for young readers even though this is not Family Day, read the ‘Startlegram’ post to get the Family Day reference), as I was saying, the other 90% of the spam deals with concerns about my most private of parts. There is concern about its size, with endless offers of ways to end my embarrassment regarding my most delicate of shortcomings. And then there is also a lot of concern about how well my most private of parts performs, with multiple offers of multiple ways of amping up my most private part’s performance to top notch performance standards that will meet the most exacting needs of the most critical of critics and have those on the receiving end singing my praises and recommend me to their friends, neighbors and co-workers.

What further vexes me is no one else I know gets these offers. How did the annoying spammers discover I am in need of this help? Who told them? Was it you? Well, it needs to stop. I have learned to live with all my various shortcomings and all my various performance problems and I’m not going to grow any bigger or perform any better at my ripe old age so just drop these attempts to fix me.

Not that I don’t appreciate the concern.